Chapter X: Heart Shaped Box
"Hun you reek of cologne." Angela laughed. She had perched herself on the top of the picnic table, watching as Fang paced back and forth furiously.
"Good cologne? Or bad cologne?" He asked, cutting her a wild eyed glance. He didn't know why he felt the way he did. Unruly... unnerved... jumpy... the feelings were so unfamiliar to Fang. He'd always been in control, calm, ready to face the world. But now his carefully crafted reality was spinning... tumbling downward. And he couldn't stop it.
"Honey, your too tense. You need to relax." She crept behind him and began to rub his shoulders. He felt himself melt at her touch, she had the magic fingers. How many times in the last day had she told him this? That he needed to relax? Countless it seemed. He opened his mouth, unsure of what to say but sure he was going to say something. She beat him to it.
"Shh... don't speak. Just relax, close your eyes and dream." She whispered seductively. Relax? As if I've ever done that! He thought to himself. But she was right. He needed to relax, calm down. His eyes fluttered open and closed. Max... the flock... they could wait... He swayed forward and back, he closed his eyes, for just a moment... just a moment...
"Fang! Fang!" His eyes snapped open. Angela was standing over him, shaking his shoulders.
"What? What happened?" He said, trying to sit himself up only to be pushed back down by Angela.
"You passed out." She said breathlessly.
"I-I what?" He blinked rapidly, adjusting his eyes to the light.
"You passed out, come on. It's almost three." She gently pulled him to his feet.
"Are you okay?" She asked, petting his hair and leaning into him.
"I'm... I'm fine." He shook himself off and stood as straight as he could manage.
"How long was I out?" He asked suddenly, furrowing his brow.
"Three minutes? I don't know." Angela shrugged sitting back on the table. He hadn't missed the flock. Good. He really did want to make it up to them. Yesterday... he just couldn't comprehend it. There they were. The people who haunted his dreams, who he'd only wished to see. He thought he'd never see them but then, there they were. Right in front of him. Alive. Fang felt his eyes water as he thought of the events of the day before. He wiped his eyes, then sat down at the table. They'd arrived at 2:30, prepared to wait for an hour if needed. But now, as three o'clock neared he felt his nerves unravel, bit by bit. His leg was shaking... his palms were sweaty... and he jumped at the smallest noises.
"Three o'clock." Angela said quietly. She was as uncomfortable as him. Maybe more so because she barely new them.
"There they are." He watched as the five bodies walked into his line of vision. Iggy, Max, Nudge and Gazzy. Wait! Where was Angel? Then he realized that Angel was trailing behind, with Celeste and Total in tow. Fang's lips twitched as the little dog pulled against the blonde haired girl. Total had never been exactly mellow.
"I'm going to go to the café on 78th, do some people watching and what not." She pointed to his right and then walked through the trees to her destination. Fang nodded. It was his place, not hers.
"Hey." He said as friendly as he could manage. They nodded with their plastic smiles stuck on their faces. Fang felt a twinge of anger as Gazzy, Nudge, Angel and Max squeezed themselves together on the bench across from him, which was clearly meant for only three people. Iggy though ventured to sit next to him. Fang felt his mood brighten just a bit as his friend clamped him on the back with a giant grin painted across his face.
He's faking it.
"So, your ready to talk?" Max asked softly.
"You don't have to, we would totally understand if you didn't." Nudge added quickly. Fang would have smiled at the speed of Nudge's speech if he wasn't in the middle of sulking.
"Yes, I guess I am." He replied half heartedly. He'd thought about what to say... there was really nothing he could do to make it any different for them, easier for them to understand. He had to just... say it.
"What happened, man? After I left... we came back and everything was gone. No trace... nothing." Iggy said, trying to give him a nice place to start. He silently thanked Iggy as he began.
"I... I did something stupid. I tried to attack one of the Erasers, well it through me and I landed on my back. I cracked my vertebrae, or something of that nature, and that's why I have a limp." He said it as calmly as he could manage. But it was hard, saying it out loud meant that it was true. That he would always and forever be a gimp. Never to be the same. Always a follower... never a leader. He felt a pang of emptiness rocket through his chest... never was a long time.
"After that?" Max asked softly, Fang realized he had been staring at the table for quite some time, unaware he wasn't finished speaking. Great now they'd think he was mental. Mental and a cripple. What a great combination.
"Right, um, well. I just kind of... slipped away for a bit." he cringed as Max gasped and her eyes started to well. They knew what he meant. Coma. It was the last state of consciousness before dead. They all knew it due to the volumes of medical text Max had simply lying around.
"But I'm fine now." He added quickly, then paused. Was he? He'd fainted only minutes ago. And he had an awful limp. Could he really call that fine? Probably not but... glancing at his friends, he knew he'd best fake it.
"So... yeah. I've just been at the Hospital waiting for you guys." He finished quietly. He didn't exactly want to blame it on them, but... it kind of was. He'd been there, rotting in that stark white room waiting for them while they went out and enjoyed life like nothing was wrong. Like he was never there. It hurt... even if he was faking it.
"Is there... anything else?" Gazzy asked, refusing to meet Fang's gaze. He was a afraid. Fang knew it.
"Yes, there's really nothing else for me to say." Tears burned his throat as he choked out that last sentence. They sat in silence, no one really wanted to speak, but they were all silently willing each other to.
"Hey, man, let's go talk over here." Iggy said jumping up. Fang gave him a puzzled look, though Iggy could not see it, but reluctantly followed him through the bushes into a small clearing. What was it that Iggy didn't want to talk about in front of the group? Fang couldn't help but wonder.
"What's up?" he asked as the boy sat down and crossed his legs. Iggy turned his face up towards the sun, which had come out for a fleeting moment from behind the clouds. He basked in it for a minute, his skin was illuminated by the light and his eyes shown bright under the effects of the sun. Fang blinked, another thing he'd forgotten. Iggy loved the sunlight. Iggy took a deep breath before turning his attention back to Fang.
"Take a seat." Iggy patted the grass next to him. Fang sat down on the dew soaked grass without hesitation. What the hell was it? He prattled his brain, there was none he could think of for this conversation.
Fang turning to the boy, "Iggy, what is it?" He asked firmly. Iggy didn't answer, instead his put either thumb on Fang's cheekbones. He stroked Fang's cheeks and gingerly moved his fingertips over the rest of Fang's face.
"What are you doing?" Fang asked when Iggy put his hands down.
"I'm looking at you. I haven't looked at you in a long time." Iggy said with a shrug, turning his attention back to the sun. He swayed gently as a breeze rushed through.
"Oh, okay." He forgot Iggy would look at you when he wanted to talk to you. He'd forgotten a lot of things.
"Your hair is longer." Iggy added. Fang knew, he felt his hair tickle just past his shoulders as the breeze came through once more. Fang shivered, rubbing his upper arms. He looked at Iggy, who had slipped off his sweatshirt and held it out toward Fang, who took it graciously. He pulled it around his shoulders, thank God for Iggy.
"What I wanted to talk to you about, was Max." Iggy said, still basking in the light. Fang felt his heart pang. Max. Him and her... so long ago...
"What about Max?" He asked, shaking himself out of his memories.
"You. Her. Stuff." Iggy shrugged once more.
"I see." Of course he didn't. What was Iggy getting at? He racked his brain for an answer to why Iggy and he were about to have such a bizarre conversation, but he came up with none. Maybe he was mental after all. Or just stupid. Probably, after all Iggy was the brain, he was the brawn, Max was the leader, Nudge was the voice, Gazzy was the stink and Angel was the innocence. No one really expected him to do rocket science.
Iggy continued without a hitch, "When you left, Max was a wreck." Wreck. Such a strong word. Fang couldn't picture Max as a wreck. She couldn't picture her as anything more than what she was. The leader.
"Sh-she was?" Fang ventured, his voice shaking against his will.
"She locked herself in the bathroom, made herself sick, she was a wreck." Iggy said as if he were commenting on the weather. What? That was nothing like the Max he knew, the Max he knew would have been out, fighting. Not locked in a bathroom sobbing.
"Wow..."
"Yeah, I'm just giving you a heads up she's gonna get pretty emotional."
Fang thought for a second... "How do you know all this?" It was a good question. Iggy and Max weren't exactly close, they'd liked each other well enough, but they just weren't... they didn't click. Fang and Iggy clicked. Max and Angel clicked. Against their will, Nudge and Gazzy clicked.
Iggy blushed madly and mumbled "I've spent a lot of time with her."
"Oh, like...?" Fang cocked an eyebrow.
"Yeah... in that sort of way." He said thoughtfully.
"I didn't think you had it in you!" Fang clamped a hand on Iggy's shoulder. Oh how things changed. Wasn't it just the other day Max had kissed him... but now he had Angela. And Iggy had Max. He'd never have seen it coming, but it was true.
"Well I do." Iggy declared with a stupid grin painted across his face.
"That it?" Fang asked, standing up. He was pretty much done talking about this. He wanted nothing more than to go and rest his leg in the hot tubs. He gazed around the clearing, suddenly realizing this was where everything had started. His eyes welled with bitter tears... he could see it so clearly... Shadows... Erasers... screaming... blood... pain racing up and down him... spinning... spinning... blackness.
"Hey, Fang, geroff me." A muffled voice broke through his vision. He suddenly realized that he had collapsed into Iggy's arms. Losing his mind... going mental...
"Hey, you okay?" Iggy asked, holding Fang up at arms length, as if not wanting to touch him. Why should he? He'd just collapsed. For the second time in one day. Maybe he wasn't just stupid. Maybe his mind was addled. He'd talk to Angela... maybe she could run some tests, see if he was sane. Or maybe he was epileptic. But he wasn't having seizures...Maybe he just had black outs, but he hadn't been blacking out... He'd been having a flashback... God, he was just losing his mind!
"Fine... Fine." Fang repeated, more to himself than Iggy.
"Here, lemme help you." Iggy said, throwing Fang's arm around his shoulder. It was so funny Fang almost laughed. After years of leading Iggy around and keeping him out of trouble, who would have thought this would have happened? Fang's first reaction was to tell Iggy to buck off, but he stopped himself. Instead he rested his weight across Iggy's shoulders.
"Fang, are you sure you're okay?" Iggy asked, walking slowly with Fang through the trees.
"Yes, just a little... I'm fine." He said, not even paying attention to the fact he'd trailed off in mid sentence. He could tell Iggy didn't believe him. But why did that matter? Why did anything matter?
"Fang, you're my brother. I don't care if we're not biological siblings like Gazzy and Angel, you're my brother. And I care about you, man. You can talk to me. You know that."
"Yeah, whatever, I love you too man." Fang sighed, ignoring Iggy's point.
"Fang."
"Iggy."
Iggy groaned. Fang didn't really care. God he walked so slow these days... They'd gone about twenty feet in five minutes. He remembered when he'd just beaten Max at racing when they were kids, a mile in five minutes. A real record. Now, it was all he could do to hobble.
"I walk so damn slow." He moaned, his voice dripping in vexation.
"Like I care." Iggy grunted. Fang suddenly realized he did not want to walk in on Max and everyone, limping with Iggy for support. God... he would feel so embarrassed.
"Iggy, I can take it from here." Fang said, pushing away.
"Fang, I can tell when your lying, I'm not stupid." Iggy pulled Fang back.
"I'm fine!" Fang insisted.
"No, your not. Fang, people don't just black out like that. It's not normal." Iggy said, pulling Fang along as if he were nothing more than Total, out for his daily walk.
"I will carry you if I have to." Iggy said, giving another tug on Fang's arm. Fang let himself be pulled in surprise. Carrying or half-carrying? Half-carrying was the obvious choice. So Fang let Iggy half-carry, half-drag him through the brush, dreading the moment they would come into view.
"Hold out your arm." Iggy said, stopping. Fang shook his head, but held out his elbow all the same. Iggy wrapped his fingers around the crook, holding Fang up with one arm. Fang suddenly realized what he was doing. Iggy was making it look like Fang was helping him, when he was really holding Fang up. He silently thanked Iggy, for what seemed like the thousandth time that day. Slowly, the pair walked through the forested area and into the clearing.
"Hey." Iggy said, pulling Fang towards the general direction of Max's voice. She was jabbering loudly with Nudge. When she saw Fang she immediately stopped. She looked from Iggy to Fang, then stood up and pressed her fingers against his stomach.
"Ohmygod. Fang, your so thin!" Max exclaimed, running her fingers over his rib cage.
"Like your not." Fang laughed, pointing at her hip bones, which jutted out from her stomach.
"Well, I guess your right there." She said, patting her belly.
"Listen... we were thinking... do you want to come home with us? Just for a bit of a visit. And then, if you want to, maybe you could... move back in with us?" Max asked softly. Visit? Yes. Move in? No. But he wouldn't tell her that, instead he pasted another fake smiled on his lips.
"Yeah, sure. I just have to go talk to Angela at the café first." He said hollowly. Amazingly, she believe him.
"Oh! That's great! We were gonna go to the café!" She said, hugging him. But despite her efforts, he still saw her kick Nudge in the shin when she opened her mouth.
"Okay. Let's go!" She said cheerfully, skipping ahead of everyone. He felt Iggy wrap his fingers around his arm, he put his hand on Iggy's and squeezed it. Thanking him as they walked, ever so slowly, after Max. Things almost felt normal again. He glanced back at the clearing, almost.
A/N: I had to resist, very hard, the urge to slash Iggy and Fang in this chapter as I broke up the paragraphs... -sigh- all the same, I've got Then and Now, dont' I?
ANNOUNCEMENT: Take Me Over will have a REWRITTEN, REVISED edition up around May or June, back ONLY by popular demand. (I'll keep this story up, but don't forget to review the rewritten piece.)