Soul Marked
Chapter Thirty-Seven
Adjustment Period
I am back! I have a new laptop and back in the swing of writing once more! I even have the next chapter halfway done.
This chapter is calm compared to the last couple. It's exactly like the title of the chapter, an adjustment period, showing you how she's overcome her past trauma and the road to recovery. The next chapter will probably be just as easy before we delve back into the excitement.
I really enjoyed writing this one!
Enjoy and review!
The days leading after Izuka's rescue were stressful, painful, and most importantly heartbreaking.
Izuka had even felt mostly normal once she had arrived at the police station, the earlier fuzziness and strain fading away. That was until they tried separating her from Kacchan. That numbness clawed at her mind, pulling her back to an existence that promised to fill her head with images of the teen boy dead and gone. The panic attack that had resulted from the separation had undoubtedly scarred the two officers who had been taking her to an interrogation room.
Tsukauchi had taken over, ordering them to grab Bakugo, as he tried leading her through a breathing exercise. It brought forth memories of Shigaraki doing the same thing, the movements, his words, all close to what the villain had demonstrated during the freak out after waking up. The only difference was the kind and non-demanding way the detective had gone about it. Something empty filled her chest, seeking out what was far away, Izuka could feel it in her soul. The revelation was shoved deep down until she could properly understand it. The interview about her time with the villains had been put off, Tsukauchi watching as she clung desperately to Bakugo, and knew that there had been lasting trauma.
It was best to let her go home, to come to terms with what happened, before grilling her for information.
When Izuka laid eyes on her mother, she felt herself pull from Bakugo, flinging herself across the room, and into her mother's arms. The woman almost buckled under the force Izuka had thrown herself with. Sobs wrapped around them, whispers of assurances, and love causing those to witness feel like they were intruding on a private moment. Inko had checked her daughter head to toe, hesitating at her eyes, before pulling her back into another hug. It had only taken one glance to know something had changed. It caused her to cry harder. Wondered what Izuka had gone through, and at the same time wished to never have to know, no matter how selfish that last thought was.
Tsukauchi offered Inko to reach out to a therapist, a woman he assured was the best and specialized in cases like Izuka's. She was highly sought after but he knew she would make time for the young Midoriya.
That's how she found herself sitting across from the woman in question. This had been her third visit in the last week and a half, the numbers she was assured would go down as time went by, and life would begin to go back to normal. She only needed to get past this hurdle first.
"How have you been doing since our last talk?" Aikawa asked.
Izuka frowned as she tried to figure out how to answer that. How had she been doing?
Nightmares most nights, waking up terrified, stuck in an endless cycle of horror as she re-experienced how it felt for your soulmate to simply no longer exist. It was exhausting and terrifying. Izuka wasn't sure how she was functioning let alone sitting relatively sane in front of the older woman.
"It's been difficult, but I've been managing." Izuka wasn't about to admit to how she had been managing. She wasn't sure how Aikawa, or her mother, would take to the knowledge that Izuka snuck out in the middle of the night to stay with Kacchan. The first night trying to make it on her own ended in complete failure. It hadn't been her proudest moment.
The walls closed in around her, splattered in blood, playing on repeat in her mind's eye. Her hands shook, her nails dug into the flesh of her arms, as she repeated the mantra her therapist had told her to.
'Kacchan was alive. It's all in my head. It's not real." Then she would count five things she could see, four she could hear, three things she could smell, two she could touch, and one she could taste. It had worked earlier in the day when her mother had been nearby to call out too when Bakugo had only been gone for a few short hours. Within the first ten minutes, she had broken down and called him. Needing the reassurance of his voice to tell her what her mind refused to listen to. Aikawa had been adamant that Kacchan didn't stay for the third night in a row, that Izuka should try to make it through the day without him, and then see how the night went. It was pure hell, but nothing compared to what her mind could make up.
In theory, Izuka knew Aikawa was right. That she couldn't be dependent on him forever, that eventually she needed to deal with this, and had given her the out that if it got too hard, she could call him back. Aikawa didn't want to cause any more lasting damage. It had been Izuka's decision not to call Kacchan back, guilt weighing her down, the same reason why she didn't just call out to her mother now. She felt like a burden, worrying everyone, not being able to handle her attacks by herself. Izuka wished they would just go away.
It was exhausting.
Blood dripped down the wall in front of her, a phantom laugh, All Might's whispering in her ear, the voice deeper and more sinister than she remembered it to be.
Izuka shook, her breathing labored, as she repeated the mantra in her mind for the sixth time in the last thirty minutes. Her eyes flashed back over to her phone. One call could erase all of her worries, put them at ease, and all she had to do was call him. As her hand shook, reaching toward the phone, she froze as an intruding thought took over.
'What if it ended up being like last time?" Izuka, at first, had been sure she was talking to her father. If it hadn't been for the inconsistencies then she would have never known, and she knew that Toga could easily mimic his voice, but her mind fought with that too. It was far too confusing to focus on her feelings about Shigaraki, or the rest of his league, and in the end, Izuka knew what she had to do.
Grabbing her phone, and jacket, she tiptoed out of the apartment. She ignored the way the walls continued to drip, or how every alleyway she glanced into held a shadowed figure, whispering, 'I only snuffed out what was holding you back.'.
Panic drove her forward, feet skidding across the concrete, as fear snuck up on her. It wasn't about Shigaraki lurking in some dark corner, but instead the demons the shadows conjured in the dark. Shigaraki was no longer the enemy tonight.
Her mind was.
Her feet pounded away as she kept running, her breathing uneven, almost two weeks without keeping to her exercise routine had already begun to throw her off. She dialed Kacchan's number, not sure she had it in her to climb the side of his house, to his window. Her limbs felt heavy, the dark edges of her vision had slowly been closing in.
That tree shouldn't be so red.
"Koneko?" came a sleepy voice. "What's wrong? Do you need me to come?" She felt weak, but her stride didn't slow, nor change direction. Izuka had talked to him before she had gone to bed. Hoping that it would keep her sane until morning. Now here she was, almost outside his house, due to fear. The sound of his voice should have been enough to knock sense back into her. To ease her mind and worries. She should have been able to turn back around and go home.
So why was it the opposite? Why hadn't the blood disappeared? The laugh still echoed in her ear, drowning out his voice.
"Kacchan," she cried, a sob breaking loose from her lips. "There's so much blood. It won't go away. Why is there so much blood?" She could hear shuffling from his side. A sign that he had gotten up out of bed.
"I'm coming over. Don't worry I'll be there soon. We'll keep talking until then."
"No." She took in a deep breath. The snot from her crying made it hard to breathe, but she was close by. "I'm almost outside your house. Unlock the door."
She could hear a curse, said softly, not meant for her ears, but she had picked up on it anyway. He was restraining himself, could hear the muffled thump as he caught the door, probably having been thrown carelessly open as worry took over his actions.
"What the fuck are you doing outside my house?!"
"I needed to see you. The images won't go away. It wasn't enough to just hear you."
"You should have stayed home." She heard, rather than saw the front door get flung open. The sound of the phone clicking, the call ending, was next before she was dragged into a hug. His arms were crushing around her. The beating of his heart pitter-pattering under her ear. "I would have come to you." His grip tightened as crimson eyes surveyed the night around them. "It's not safe out here in the middle of the night."
Izuka wasn't supposed to be going anywhere without an escort. Her mother had barely been able to avoid having someone constantly outside the apartment. This Izuka knew was done for her wishes, rather than what her mother had wanted.
"I couldn't wait." Her nose buried into his shirt; one she was sure had been haphazardly thrown on before running down the stairs. "Everything was closing in on me."
Kacchan tugged her into the house, keeping his arm locked firmly around her, as he locked the door behind them.
"I knew not to listen to that lady," he scoffed as he led them back upstairs. His voice was quiet, trying to avoid waking his parents, as they snuck up into his room.
"Her advice was fine," Izuka frowned, as she kept her eyes trained on his hand. Everything was still coated in blood. "I need to learn how to manage on my own."
"It's only been a little over a week." In the safety of his room, his voice had grown an edge to it, a little louder than before.
"It's better if I try sooner, rather than later." She took a steadying breath as she peeked up. The shadows danced around them, but the blood was gone. Izuka could breathe a little easier. "The longer I wait the harder it'll be for me to want to do it. I can't let fear rule me." Her grip on his hand tightened as she gritted her teeth. "I shouldn't have come, but I couldn't help it."
Trying to be gentle, but failing, Bakugo tugged Izuka down onto the bed, forcing her to sit. Her feet caught the edge of the bed, tangling on the blanket that had been left where it fell in his rush to get downstairs, as she half stumbled onto the mattress.
"Don't say that. You're not weak." The air left him in a whoosh as he forced himself to calm down. "This would be hard for anyone. I'm supposed to be here to help you through it."
"I couldn't go one night without you."
"Doesn't fucking matter. You're strong. You survived something horrifying. Who fucking cares if it takes a while for you to get better?"
Izuka sniffled, knowing he was right, but wishing it could have magically been better as soon as she was back home. It didn't matter to her that her mind was clearer than it had been right after getting rescued. She could hear All Might's name without growing rageful, but she wasn't sure how she would react to seeing him. Aikawa had been hesitant, saying that they should wait a little while longer, until she had gotten a handle on being back home, safe, and dealing with the backlash of fabricated memories. Izuka was sure Aikawa just didn't want to say that it was likely she would attack him within seconds of seeing him again.
It saddened her, but deep down she knew she wasn't ready, not yet.
"Can I stay here?" Katsuki huffed as he settled down on the mattress.
"Do you even have to ask?" He yanked the blanket back up over him as he punched his pillow back into a comfortable position. Izuka watched, her eyes wide, as she still kept a hold on the hand he seemed to be pretending didn't exist. "Are you going to wait for an invitation? Lay down." The shadows eased back into harmless beings as Izuka stuttered, and blushed.
"With you?"
"Get the hell over here."
Katsuki, blushing himself, but readily ignoring it, used the hand she held to tug her down. Drawing the blanket over her he pretended not to notice how warm she was, or the buzz under his skin as she snuggled hesitantly closer to him.
By morning they had both been awake, deserting the Bakugo residence, and in the Midoriya kitchen before Inko awoke.
"Has it gotten any easier to be away from Bakugo?"
"A bit." That had been the truth. She had successfully even managed a single night without sneaking off to him, but that had been because they had video chatted with one another through the night. It wasn't a permanent solution, but Kacchan hadn't been amused with her wandering outside in the middle of the night.
"How about the memories?"
"I talk to Kacchan about them. He helps untangle them. Sometimes they feel so real that I'm not sure which are. He can tell me which one's were planted, and which weren't."
"That's good. You two should keep it up. It'll get easier with time to start picking the fake from the real, but a quirk like the one used on you was meant to feel as real as possible. Don't feel discouraged when the progress isn't as fast as you would like."
Izuka nodded, knowing that would be the case, but it was a hard pill to swallow. She shifted uneasily in her seat as she began to pluck at a stray piece of thread from her shirt.
"Are you still having panic attacks frequently?"
"Unfortunately. They are at their worst when Kacchan isn't around."
Aikawa nodded, writing on her clipboard, it was natural with how he was the center of the traumatic event to cause them in the first place.
"Has the mantra been working?"
"Sort of. On easier days, or when I realize that I'm about to have an attack and start it immediately."
"Just keep up with the grounding method. It'll help ground you to the present, let you identify where you are, and that you're in control." Izuka silently agreed with her. It was helpful, as long as she didn't allow herself to be tugged into the overwhelming rush of emotion. Typically, she could stop that from happening. It was just worst at night when she was by herself, and demons came out to play.
"I hear the school has decided to have the students stay on campus for safety. How do you feel about that?"
"I guess it's a good idea. They have excellent security, even with the incident at USJ, but I don't think my mom is very excited about it."
"I can understand why she wouldn't be, but how do you think it would affect you, mentally? Do you think you're ready for something like that? I know we've decided it was best for you to take a short break before returning to school, but this would be a big change."
"I think it would be a good change. I feel safe at the school, but I guess it would be easier to remind myself that Kacchan was alive, having him close by. I know my soul mark is gone, but the bond is still very active, and the closer he is, the more I can feel it. It's a reminder of my worst moments. Something I can latch onto and ignore the emptiness of the stretch of skin that shouldn't be blank."
"I think it would be good for you as well. I'll talk to your mother privately about it. I understand her worries, and the fact that she's on edge about allowing you to return to school."
"Mom doesn't think I should go back at all. Wants me to pick another school, or drop being a hero altogether, but I can't do that. It physically hurts thinking about it. I had relinquished my wishes on returning to U.A. if it made her feel better, but explained to her that no matter what, I was involved. That it wouldn't keep villains from coming after me if I changed schools. That they were invested in me, not the school, or the people around me. I know she talked to All Might privately as well. He had been the one to tell her about the school's plans."
"How did you feel about that?"
"I still have distrust toward him. In the back of my mind. Logically I know he's nothing like the nightmares that my brain constructs, but I still have a hard time pulling reality, and the dream apart from one another. They just blend, distorting each other, until I can't tell right from wrong."
"Did it make you panic to know that your mother was alone with him?"
"Not really? It's strange. I'd have a panic attack at the mere thought of him being around Kacchan, but my mother wasn't the one hurt in that mind space. He doesn't feel like a threat to her, just me and Kacchan."
"If you're to return to school we'll have to handle that hurdle of you being around him. I'm aware that he's your teacher, but I've spoken to him and we've both agreed that limited contact with you is for the best."
"So, he'll be teaching still?"
"Yes, but he won't speak directly toward you. Your sensei, Aizawa, will be participating more in that class as well. A buffer between the two of you. And I work with the school as well, if something were to happen, I'll be there to help you gain control over the situation."
"Do you think it'll be fine? Me being near him?" Izuka shuddered at the thought of raging on him once more, freaking out, and attacking him.
"I think we're past that point. Before you were barely able to look at a photo of him, but now you even take videos of him well. The real test will be seeing him in person, but that first meeting with be watched carefully by myself. I won't let you go through this alone. And we'll have Bakugo near you. Everything will go by fine. This is just one step toward a better future."
Izuka liked that. A better future. Having it lined out in front of her, a plan, something solid to hold onto, made the task not so daunting. She missed her mentor. It would be nice to see him and not think killing thoughts.
"I trust you."
Aikawa sent her a smile, before turning back to her notes, as she raised an eyebrow at the young girl.
"Have you spoken to Bakugo about the mark disappearing?" Her voice told Izuka that she already knew the answer. It had been something they had spoken about the last session when it had first come out. Aikawa had urged her to tell him sooner, rather than later, stating that he deserved to know, and it was vital information. She didn't want anything harming her healing, and knew by how the boy acted, that the longer she took, the more hurtful it would be for him. Aikawa didn't think he would blow her off, but it wasn't something to keep putting off.
"I haven't." Izuka hunched over, knowing she needed to, but no time had felt right. In honesty, she was worried about how he would react. It had been detrimental to his mental health in the first place. She didn't want to drag up memories for the boy, or worse, thoughts of abandonment.
"You should do it soon."
"I know, but I'm just worried it'll trigger past emotions for him. He hadn't taken my lack of a mark well for ten years, and now to have that suddenly come back."
"You'll just stress how the bond is still there, intact, and strong as ever. The boy could benefit from some therapy himself."
Izuka cracked a smile at the thought.
"I don't know if he'd go for that."
"We should add him in on a session sometime. I could use the opportunity to see you two together outside of a school setting." She placed the clipboard on her lap, her expression forming one of a collected calm, meant to put her at ease, Izuka knew the next question wouldn't be easy. She had been dancing around the topic of telling Kacchan everything and hadn't completely come clean to her therapist either, but the woman knew something. Izuka hadn't been hiding her nerves well, after all. "Is there anything else you worry about telling him?"
There it was. The one question she didn't want to have been asked. Didn't have an easy answer, not like the others where she just knew, no this was confusing. It irritated her, and she could feel the heavy emotion blind her, as she grew defensive. It wasn't Aikawa's fault, not that it was anyone's fault, just destiny itself. How could fate ever think that she was strong enough to be there for two separate people, how she was supposed to be able to help them, especially now, that she could barely help herself? Though, if she was being truthful, that was harsh, as they were supposed to be there for her as well. It wasn't just a one-sided give, and take, but a mutual benefit of helping. Or at least it was supposed to be that way.
"I can tell something is on your mind," Aikawa stated matter-of-factly. "I understand you may not be ready to speak about it yet, but I feel as if something else happened while you were with the League. This is a safe place."
Aikawa never referred to them as the enemy, never brought up her time with them as something evil, and negative, as if she could sense Izuka's emotions on the subject. It was always the League, nothing more, nothing less. She allowed Izuka to decide if they were seen in an evil light or not, having told her Izuka was in control, and she was only there to help. It had been a nice new pace, considering Kacchan typically cursed them, and the police acted like they were scum. It was all confusing, Izuka had seen them in a different light, and yes they did bad things, but she couldn't help but think that society drove them to those actions. At least they played a part. It didn't excuse what Shigaraki, and the rest, had decided to do, but she felt that it couldn't just go without justice either.
Thoughts such as these had played around inside her mind a lot, and they only left her confused and exhausted.
Izuka wanted to speak to Aikawa about them, knowing there was patient-doctor confidentiality, but she also knew that there were loopholes within these rules. That if Aikawa decided she was a danger to herself or others, they could be shared with anyone else. She was unsure of how Aikawa would take to the revelation of what was on her patient's mind.
Except for the weight of what she felt, what she knew, laid heavily on her shoulders, and she was drowning in the responsibility that was thrust upon her.
"I may have a connection to Shigaraki Tomura," she blurted out before being able to stop the words. Izuka's eyes were wide, but once they fell out there was no keeping them from spilling further. "I'm sure that I have a soul bond with him as well. I dreamed of him, and then when I woke, I thought I saw his soul mark. I couldn't identify what it was shaped as, but the color was green, the same shade as Kacchan's. None of it makes sense, but when I'm around him I can feel it, that sensation of wanting to feel safe, trust, and just knowing that he was connected to me. I could see how he struggled with it, the way he would react toward me, it doesn't make any sense, but I know this to be true. I wanted to just ignore it, but my heart and mind won't let me. How am I supposed to deal with this? Let alone tell Kacchan about this."
Aikawa stared in shock at her. This was not what she expected when trying to get the girl to open, and upon realizing she was just staring, the woman pulled herself together.
"That would be a heavy burden to hold." She was shaking the shock off, knowing that right now that girl needed her, to help guide her. She would not judge her now or do anything to lose her trust. "As you know I've been studying about soulmates. I'm no expert, but I've come across a few interesting texts. There has been one such occasion, where three souls were connected, instead of the usual two. I couldn't find much on it, and honestly, I didn't try to dig any deeper because I hadn't realized how useful it would be for you. I'll fix that, and hopefully have more to tell you during our next session."
Izuka felt a rush of emotions, mostly relief and confusion. She had expected Aikawa to feel disgusted toward her, to tell her that no matter what she needed to repress this bond with Shigaraki. She didn't sound against nor for it, just an observer with no opinion either way. It was exactly what Izuka needed.
"I shouldn't ignore it? Try to pretend it doesn't exist?"
Aikawa sent her a startled gaze as she shook her head.
"That's the opposite of what you should do. You realize how detrimental that could be for you, yes? Soul bonds were not meant to be ignored. You explained what happened to you when Bakugo had tried that very same thing. It's not healthy."
"But he's a villain." Izuka was pushing. She knew that. But she needed to know if this was truly alright, wanted these confusing feelings to be cleared up, and to be verified. She wanted more than anything to save Shigaraki, Tenko, whoever he was, but felt as if others thought the opposite.
"I can't tell you how to think, or what to believe, but what I do know is that soul bonds were formed because something out there thought you were perfect for one another. In your case, there are three of you, and unfortunately, there is a quite confusing person bonded to you. You could be connected for many different reasons, all of which will become clear to you, and no one can force you to think otherwise. I'm just here as a guide. I promise I will help you through this."
"I should tell Kacchan, shouldn't I?"
"It would be beneficial for your bond, and your relationship. This is something he's connected to as well, even if he's not directly bonded to Shigaraki. The two of them now share something in common; you. He's going to have to get used to it."
"This isn't fair to him."
"Life isn't fair a lot of the time. All you can do is make the best of this situation. I don't want you running off to find this Shigaraki person, he does sound dangerous, and though I feel as if he's less dangerous to you, I can't ignore what's already happened. I understand that it won't be avoidable to never see him again, but I want you to be smart about this. No running off. I feel as if you should also share this with your teacher, Aizawa. Soon he'll become responsible for your safety in school and outside. He should know about this as well."
"I don't want it getting out," Izuka said frowning. "If the heroes find out I'm afraid they'll try to use me against him. I can't live with that. I want to save him, not hurt him."
"I understand. I don't believe this is something we need to tell the police. At least it doesn't pertain to them. I don't want them using you as bait. My job is your safety, physically and mentally, and I feel as if that course of action would be going against that. For now, we'll keep it between us and Bakugo. But one day it will get out. You must understand that."
"I know." It wasn't something Izuka planned on keeping to herself forever anyway. Not if she truly wanted to make a change and save him.
"I do have a theory about why your mark disappeared in light of this new information." Izuka stayed quiet, silently urging her to continue. "I suspect with the trauma you underwent during the brainwashing, and then afterward you told me you acted on pure instinct the whole time. You clung to him, trusted Shigaraki, on a purely subconscious level. You must have come to terms with the bond between you and that made the mark fade away."
"Why would it do that?"
"The mark you had only showed your bond between you and Bakugo. Not Shigaraki. I think once you come to truly accept that you are connected to both of them, not just subconsciously, but fully, you'll regain your mark. Or at least I believe that's what the text was referring to when I read about that couple from before. It was old, back when soulmates first were found. I'll continue to research it."
"Thank you." Izuka felt some of the weight on her shoulders lift. Aikawa knew she hadn't judged her, and even gave her something to think about. Perhaps she really could do this. She just didn't need to try to do it all on her own. Aikawa leaned forward, and patted her hand, before brightening up.
"Now, has there been anything new that's happened recently? A highlight since we've talked last?"
Izuka blinked, before an excited smile crossed her features as well, her hands digging into her pocket for the piece of paper that she took everywhere with her. "Yes! I was sent a letter from that boy I saved back at camp, Kota. He wanted to thank me for what I did and express his worry about how I was taken. He sent me back this." She held up her wrist where a bracelet jingled merrily in the light. "His aunt had it fixed, but he kept it safe for me all this time. I was happy to hear from him."
"It sounds like to me you've gained your first fan."
"He didn't care for heroes when we first met. It would be nice if I could help him gain a little happiness."
"It seems to me like you have." Izuka stared down at the letter that had arrived at her house yesterday. She had reread it a million times. It helped ease her mind, and she owed the boy for returning a precious item to her.
"I hope I get to meet him again and express my gratitude."
子猫
After her therapy session, Izuka had been escorted back to the police station. There she spoke to Tsukauchi about her time with the villains. She kept it basic, how the base was laid out, she never saw outside until the night she was rescued, and their behaviors. She kept it to herself about the moments between Shigaraki and herself, the intimate parts, like the bond she felt may be real. It wasn't something she could just confide to someone it didn't matter to. But more importantly, she was worried about what Shigaraki had implied. She didn't want them to use her against him.
Her mind whirled around everything that had happened to her, and the realizations it brought with it.
Izuka wanted to be a hero that could save everyone. That didn't just mean innocents or those that society had deemed worthy. She wanted to save everyone, including villains and wanted to bring a stop to what caused people to turn to villainy in the first place. Cut the source down before it ever even reached anyone.
It strengthened her resolve and helped her move forward. Soon she would be returning to school, and though that frightened a part of her, she needed to stand firm, and proud.
First, she needed to gain some courage and stand firm in finding Bakugo and finally coming out to tell him what she had been avoiding with long sleeves. Unnatural with the heat of the season. No one had questioned her on it. But she didn't want to keep hiding from him.
That's how she found herself talking her escort into dropping her off at the home of the Bakugos. The man, used to this, didn't question her decision, nor did he wait around for her after she left the car. Bakugo had been placed as one of the few people she could be left with. Knocking on their front door Mitsuki opened it up, her smile blinding as she ushered the girl in.
"Oh!" she exclaimed. "It's so good to see you again! You're just in time for dinner." She went off to explain what they were having, and Izuka's stomach rumbled, reminding her of how she had skipped lunch today. She would just put the talk off until after dinner then.
"That sounds lovely."
"You're such a sweetheart. Did you have your interview today?" Her voice had turned a bit sour toward the topic, Mitsuki wasn't happy with the officers having her talk so soon, much like her mother, but Izuka was glad to just have it over already. Perhaps now she could just move on past the experience.
"It went fine. Aikawa-san helped keep me calm and on topic. I didn't even have any panic attacks."
"I'm proud of how you've been taking this, Izuka." Mitsuki stopped, causing the girl almost to run into her before she pulled her into a tight hug. "I wasn't sure how Katsuki would have gotten past it if anything happened to you. He was so frantic. We all care about you kid. You've been so strong through all of this."
Midoriya's eyes had widened at the sudden affection and contact, but she melted into the older woman's arms.
"He's been a major help through everything."
"I would hope so," Mitsuki said, a frown tugging at her lips as she pulled back. "He had his head up his ass for years that it's about time he starts doing things right. He better treat you well. If he doesn't you just let me know, and I'll knock some sense into him. Such a pretty and sweet thing like you deserve only the best. It's also about time he started bringing you around before you all moved into that school. Damn shit goes and gets a pretty girlfriend and never brings her around."
Izuka couldn't help the blush that covered her cheeks as she began to choke on the title Mitsuki had given her. The older woman seemed unaware of the condition she put the girl in as she dragged her the rest of the way to the dining room. Bakugo had been placing the food onto the table, his eyes narrowing in on where Izuka seemed to be trying to choke on air, as his mother ushered her inside.
"I didn't know you were coming over tonight, Koneko," he said in a way of greeting. Placing Izuka in a seat at the table Mitsuki rushes over to smack the back of her son's head.
"That's no way to greet the girl."
"Damn, you shitty woman. What did I do wrong?! It's the truth, I didn't know she was coming over." He rubbed at the back of his head as he glared at his mom, missing the blush darkening on Izuka's cheeks.
"You should be sweeter. Where did I go wrong?"
"How the fuck am I supposed to greet her?!"
It would seem Mitsuki misunderstood their relationship, and Izuka could only helplessly watch as the two fell into an argument. At least his mother hadn't come out and called her that mid-argument. She could see the confusion on Bakugo's face, not realizing his mother's way of thinking, as he vehemently defended what he thought was an okay greeting. His father sighed as he sat at the head of the table, turning to send Izuka a small smile in greeting.
"They're at it again," Masaru said apologetically.
"I think it's just Kacchan's way of communication," Izuka said, slowly regaining control over her red cheeks. She couldn't help but wonder if he shared his wife's view on the two teens' relationship.
"Mitsuki's too. Katsuki is a lot like her."
Izuka appreciated his father's calm demeanor, and once the other two settled down, they had a nice dinner together. Midoriya still couldn't look Mitsuki in the eyes, not sure what gave her the impression that Kacchan was her boyfriend, but she was certain they hadn't reached that level.
Did she even want that from him?
It had been nice each time they had kissed, but she was uncertain if that qualified as reason enough to want to date someone. It probably helped that she enjoyed being around him, and actively sought him out, but it was embarrassing thinking about it. She was certain that she wouldn't be against it if he had decided to ask her, but there were so many confusing emotions surrounding her, that Izuka was happy with putting it off for now. She'd leave that as a future decision, it wasn't even one that seemed to be on Bakugo's thoughts, and decided that some off-handed comment from his mom shouldn't freak her out.
By the end of dinner, she was no longer sputtering from embarrassment and had begun to enjoy herself. The Bakugo family was exciting, the atmosphere charged with energy and a welcome change from the calm dinners with her mother. She had felt normal. It was nice, and she promised herself she would do it again in the future.
After helping Mitsuki clean the dishes, a long battle ensuing to get the woman to allow her to help, Izuka decided she had put off the talk with Kacchan long enough.
Automatically she grabbed for his hand, wondering if it were actions like this that had his mother thinking they were together, before refocusing on the task at hand.
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" she asked hesitantly. The task in front of her was daunting, but she didn't want to put it off any longer.
"Did you have somewhere specific in mind?" Bakugo had taken her hand easily, without much thought, it has become a normal action since getting her back. He enjoyed the rush of the bond reaching out and grounding him to her. It reminded him that she was safe, and by his side.
Izuka ended up taking him to the beach, where she had spent ten months cleaning it up, knowing that there was a gazebo that would be the perfect spot to have a private conversation. The night air brushed by them, cool and perfect, as they reached the gazebo where the waves lightly hit against the wood.
Once here she bit her lip, not sure how to start, but knowing she needed to speak soon. Bakugo stayed quiet, catching onto her anxiety, and decided to try to be patient.
"Kacchan," she began, the words catching in her throat. Her hand raised, they had stopped holding onto one another shortly after arriving, and she suddenly missed the comforting heat that radiated from him. Instead of grabbing for him, she brushed back the hair that fell on her face. It was better to be able to think straight, and she tended to get lost in him when they touched.
"Koneko." It was obvious he was being patient with her but if she didn't start talking soon, he would start to press. Taking a centering breath, she decided to just take Aikawa's advice. Moving her head she felt the sleeve slip, a twinkling sound from the bracelet, and the reflection of the moon off it had Bakugo's attention directed right to where she had been trying to speak about. "You found it?"
"Oh, actually I left it with Kota before going off to find you. It broke during my fight with Muscular, and he got it fixed for me. But that's not why I brought you here. If I keep putting it off, I'll never manage to get it out." Pulling down her sleeve, Izuka carefully, not wanting to upset him, showed the portion of skin that no longer held her mark.
She watched as his eyes zoned in on the spot, his body stilling, growing tense, and she could almost see the way his emotions spiraled out of control.
"Before you start freaking out, I can still feel the bond!" She knew she was already starting this out badly. If she wanted to be a hero, she needed to get better at communication, especially in important, and potentially traumatic situations. "It disappeared the day that I was rescued, right after I was released from that brainwashing quirk, and I'm not entirely sure why it happened, but I have a theory."
Izuka paused here, taking in his expression, and the way he was dealing with the news. He was tense. His shoulders were locked, hunched over, as his crimson eyes locked onto her wrist. This was bad enough, she was uncertain what he was feeling, but could feel the struggle that waved off him. How was she supposed to go about telling him the second part of the news?
Reaching out she grabbed at his hand, allowing the bond to rush over them, as she leaned forward. "I feel just as connected to you as before. I'm certain that the mark will come back." She watched as Katsuki took a deep breath, seemingly trying to calm himself down before hesitantly he gripped her hand in a tight hold.
"Your mark is gone."
"Yes."
"But you can still feel our bond."
"Yes! We're still connected, still soulmates, there was just a change to the bond."
"What kind of change?"
He glanced up at her for the first time, his eyes intense, blurry, but firm. He wanted to hear everything she had to say and was trying not to freak out. This situation didn't deserve his anger and he didn't want to fuck things up by defaulting to it.
"I-um-," she was unsure about how to go about this. She began to fidget as she struggled with getting the words out.
Bakugo frowned, squeezing her hand, as he tried to keep up the patience. It was obvious he wouldn't like what was going to come out of her mouth, but he was trying to be better.
Izuka refused to pull away from him, forcing her body to sit in place instead of pacing as she wanted, she didn't want to give him any reason to think that having another person bonded to her changed how she felt about him. It was obvious to Izuka that she cared for Kacchan, had for years, and would do anything for him, all he had to do was ask, but she was scared that the one thing he may ask of her would be something she would refuse to do. If she told him about Shigaraki, and he asked her to forget about him, Izuka was certain she couldn't do it. A war waged inside of her, one that wanted nothing to do with Shigaraki, and a bigger, more powerful, part that wanted to be there for him.
"Just fucking say something," Bakugo said, starting to get antsy at her prolonged silence. "Whatever it is, just say it."
"I have another soul bond." The words rested between them, she stopped breathing, watching Katsuki, but he had gone deathly silent. His face pale, as his eyes heated, before glancing up at her sharply. With the knowledge already partly out Izuka plowed through the rest to get it over and done with. "I couldn't figure it out until the end, wasn't sure why he acted so strangely toward me, but after being released from the quirk I acted on instinct. I realized that maybe what he was hinting at wasn't complete bullshit."
Izuka paused again, watching as Katsuki took the information in. He was still deadly silent. The grip on her hand had loosened in his shock. Only her fingers kept them connected to one another.
"I'm fairly certain that Shigaraki has a part of my soul, and he's known it since the USJ. It makes sense why now that he was so obsessed with me. Not understanding it himself, but having spent time with him, I think he realizes now, just like I'm starting to."
Bakugo gently extracted his hand from her fingers, standing up, his body shaking, as he began to pace the gazebo. Izuka couldn't help the hurt feeling that exploded within her chest, but pushed it aside, knowing that this was a bomb she had just let loose onto Kacchan. Now all she had to do was sit and wait, to see how he would react to the news.
Katsuki couldn't sit still. His skin felt like it was trying to crawl off his bones. Her mark was gone, the one thing showing the world that she was tied to him, the proof of their bond, erased. Shigaraki bonded to her. The man who had kidnapped her. Who planned for her to be brainwashed. Who had hurt her.
Someone who she would fight to save, to protect, because of who he was, what had led to that life. There was nothing Bakugo could do or say to keep her from going after Shigaraki. It didn't matter that he was her soulmate, wanted to keep her safe, because as long as Shigaraki was also connected to her, she would go to the ends of the earth for him.
Katsuki felt like the world had opened up beneath him and he was falling toward an endless pit.
His body began to shake, trying to force the anger down, his default emotion, because he couldn't handle this. Anger was easier to deal with, not this desperation that ripped through him and had his heart racing dangerously in his chest. He felt like he might pass out, but he pushed through the emotion, forcing his legs to continue.
How could fate be so cruel?
Bakugo turned away from Izuka, hiding the despair, the panic, the utter distress that flooded his body. She was going through enough without dealing with his problems.
Shigaraki couldn't understand how lucky he was to have Izuka connected to him, how he had the one person who would perform miracles for him, and how terrified that realization made Katsuki feel.
子猫
"How did he take the news?"
"I'm not sure…" Izuka frowned, not being able to get rid of the uneasy feeling since the night before. "He got silent, and refused to look at me afterward, but he walked me home. He didn't seem angry, didn't curse, or demand that I never seek out Shigaraki."
"That sounds like a good thing."
"It's just not Kacchan." Izuka couldn't get rid of the feeling that Bakugo hadn't seemed well afterward.
"It sounds like he has some emotions to work through, and the fact that he didn't blow up at you means he's done some growing. I know you are worried about him but give him some space to figure out what this means for him. He has to come to accept it, or it'll affect you both in the long run."
"I guess." He hadn't ignored her. She counted that as a plus, always answering her questions, or even her texts today, but he seemed muted. She didn't like it but she would do what Aikawa suggested and not push him into revealing his emotions about it until he was ready.
"You start school back up tomorrow. How does that make you feel?"
"I'm a bit excited, but anxious because I know my friends are going to be worried and asking a lot of questions." Izuka didn't bring up how she was panicky about seeing All Might for the first time. There would be a period of time in the morning, before classes, when Aikawa and Bakugo would walk her by the hero. To test her reaction and see if she should attend his class or skip it for the day.
"I know it's going to feel overwhelming but you're ready for this. I wouldn't allow you to go if I didn't think so. Everyone would have settled into the new dormitories last week, which is exactly the reason why I made it to where you and Bakugo would be moving in tomorrow. It gives them time to adjust and calm down from the exciting new change and you time to adjust back into everyday life. It'll be one less thing to bombard you with."
"It'll be nice to get back into a normal routine again." This was something Izuka had been looking forward to the most. Being able to train again, throw herself into schoolwork, and begin to feel like her world was righting itself once again. It wouldn't be an immediate, or magical, fix, but it was a step in the right direction.
"Don't worry, I'll be there for you, and if things get out of hand all you have to do is come to my office."
Izuka hoped that this would be an easy adjustment, and Bakugo would go back to normal soon. She wasn't sure how she felt about all the changes that had been happening, but him going back to avoiding her was not one she would take well.
Starting tomorrow she would truly be tested in all she had worked for in the last two weeks. It would be her first step forward and show how far she had come.
She could do this.
Izuka was strong.
She had not been broken beyond repair.
She was still fighting.
How do you guys feel about this chapter?
Are you as excited as I am about getting to the Provisional License Exam? I know I am! Especially the arc afterwards.