Disclaimer: If there is anything you see that I more than likely do not own, then your prolly right...I prolly don't own it. This is all PURELY humor, and if you don't like seeing the characters get bashed, then please don't read...for your sake and for my mine. This is NOT a list! It is a compilation of things that the DOA characters wouldn't say! It might seem like at list at first but keep going down, it has "action" parts in most of the conversations taking place! So please don't take it off for it seeming like a list! Because I assure you, it isn't nor will it be one!

Thank you Sarah The Hypered Up Jelly Bean!

--means that the characters are doing something.

> >? >? > >> >? > >? >? >? > > >? >>> > > > >? >? >?

Victor Donovan--- Christie Baby! Let's go make like rabbits+is wearing a silk robe++pats the space of bed beside him+Authoress gags repeatedly++Donovan glares at the Author+

Christie--- I love people! And I love cute, little furry animals!

holds a rabbit starts cooing to it and scratching it's belly+

Ayane--- Aren't my purple kunai's so pretty++hyperactive perky smile++Ryu slowly slinks away from her+ Ryu++whispering+ Ayane scares me with those damn things! Ayane: Oh Ryu! Ryu: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! GET AWAY GET AWAY!

Hayate--- Does this outfit make me look fat++is wearing his DOA3 white Ninjustsu outfit++pokes stomach with index finger+ Ryu++coughs slightly+ Yes, yes it does! Hayate: WAAAAHHHH! Ryu: O.O

Ryu Hayabusa--- I feel pretty! Oh so pretty, witty, and gay++flings hair around like one of the Pantene girls++fangirls swoon++several fighter's drool++Ryu is oblivious to any of this+

Brad Wong--- I give up drinking. I wanna be a smoker now. +pulls out a pack of Marlboro from his pocket+ Anybody got a lighter?

Helena--- +singing operaly+ AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH----- +cough cough cough+ O.O I ran out of air...WTFH!111

Tina--- +looks down at her Double D's+ I really need a breast reduction! DOCTOR! IS THERE A DOCTOR IN THE HOUSE!11

Bayman--- +looks down at his Glock+ I'm tired of killing people even though I get payed for it. +throws gun in the crash+

Leon--- +in a sandstorm in the desert+ Where in the hell am I++he's in the desert that he's suppose to know by heart+

Zack--- I hate being rich, having lots of women hanging off my arm, and I hate limos.

Bass--- Tina, you can do whatever you want Sweetheart++big fatherly smile+

Kasumi--- +looks at her favorite food, strawberry millefuille+ I hate this! I want something else that tastes good++throws the plate at a random wall+

Kasumi--- +looks at a random tarot card that she picked up+ O.o What does this mean?

Kasumi--- +to Ayane+ I hate you, you...you bitch you++Ayane runs off crying and screaming how nobody loves her+

Zack--- I also hate random stupid islands with volcanoes that explode, and I also hate perving on women in skimpy swimsuits.

Ayane--- +To Kasumi+ I love you sister++gives her a big hug+ Kasumi: WTF!

Christie--- I love you guys! Group hug++Everyone runs away+ O.O +looks around+ Did I say something wrong? O.o

Gen-Fu--- +to Leon in DOA2+ My Iron Fist may very well kill you! Leon++yawns bored like+ Whatever you say old man. Gen-Fu: What did you say!Leon: I said Whatever old man! Why, what could you possibly do to me++laughs+ Gen-Fu: punches him in the chest with his so-called Iron Fist +hand breaks in three places and fractures in five others+ OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!1111111111 +runs off to the local hospital+ Leon: BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA++lifts up shirt, and we see a steel sheets of armor attached to his chest+ BUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA SUCKER!111

Brad Wong--- +chucks his sake and rum bottles in a dumpster+ I don't need this...why when I have this++pulls out a bag of weed from his inner pocket+ DOES ANYONE HAVE A BONG?

Hayate--- +to his clan+ I resign as your Leader...go do whatever the hell you want. + in the background you can hear hundreds of people cheering+ O.O I guess, they didn't like me all that much...oh well...RYU! Ryu: Eh? Hayate: I wanna join your clan! Ryu: O.O Why? Hayate: points at his village They all hate me?Ryu: O.o...uhm... Hayate: Why thank you Ryu! Your my bestest bestest best friend! Ryu: Uhm...Hayate, I never said that you could join my clan... Hayate: WHAT! pulls out his sword and katana chases Ryu Ryu: GET THIS PSYCHO AWAY FROM ME! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHH HELP! HE'S GONNA KILL MEEEEEEEEEE? Hayate: MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ryu++screams like a little girl+ AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Mugen-Tenshin Clan++sits on the ground eating cheese popcorn and drinking Cherry Coca Cola+ This is better than watching Ayane and Kasumi kill each other!

Ryu Hayabusa--- +to Doku and Mirai+ Yes! Thank you Doku for killing all my people in my villlage and thank you Mirai for betraying me++has a goofy, happy, stupid smile on his features++Doku and Mirai stare at each other before running in the other direction+

Leifang--- +looks down at her slit-up-to-the-hip dress+ MY DRESS IS RUINED++sobs+

Jann Lee--- +looks at the thugs that are standing in front of him++gets into his Jeet Kune Do fighting stance++random thug comes at him with a pipe++cowers+ PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!

Hitomi--- Look Daddy! I can do Karate++tries to a high kick but falls in mid air++hits ass really hard on the ground++sobs+

Bass--- I hate wrestling even though I am the Undefeated Heavyweight Champion. +looks at his title, shrugs, and throws it away++a couple of minutes later we see Triple H and John Cena in a fist fight to see who gets it+ Triple H: That belt is mine Cena! Cena: I don't think so punk! It's my belt, and I'm gonna make it do a spinarooee! Triple H: WTF!

Donovan--- I love it when you guys ruin my plans for world domination++smiles jovially+

Radiou--- +to Ayane Genra+ is not your father--- Ayane: Then who is? Radiou++ glares at her+ As I was saying, Genra is not your father, I am++DUN DUN DUUUUNNNNNNNNN++Ayane sobs loudly and hugs him around the middle+ Ayane: I love you Daddy++ In the background you can see Genra looking at them with his bottom lip trembling violently+ Genra++To Ayane+ But what about me sweetie? Ayane: You don't matter anymore! Genra: bursts into tears and runs away

Genra--- +To Hayate In a Darth Vader voice+ Hayate, I am your father. + breathes in like Vader++crickets chirp++Genra takes off mask and sees that he has been talking to Ryu Hayabusa+ WTF++looks over at Hayate and walks over to him puts mask back on+ Hayate, I an your father. Hayate++stupid grin+ Really? Genra++coughs+ No not really... Hayate: WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH! I want my Mommy! Ryu: You dare hurt my Hayate! Genra: Eeeeeppppp++runs away with Ryu chasing after him screaming obscenities at him while trying to hack to him pieces with his Dragon Sword+

Ryu++is standing in front of a full body mirror and is dressed in his C2 costume from DOA3+ Does this make my butt look big?

Tina--- + to Bass+ I want to be a wrestler forever and ever++overly enthusiastic voice+

Author's Note:

If you do read this, can you please leave a review? They are much appreciated, even flames...so can you please leave on for me? Cuz they inspire me and I love reading them regardless if they are flames.

If you like this, then check out Ch. 2! It'll be full of even more randomness and hilarity!