Once we returned I headed back to my room and waited on my bed. When Magneto walked into my room a new wave of fear hit me.

What is he going to do to me for not killing the soldiers?

"You did quite well today."

I didn't at all expect that.

"Quite well?" I repeated in disbelief.

I couldn't bring myself to shoot the soldiers.

"For now your killing of the director will suffice."

He handed me a glass of water and anti-nausea pills. I took them.

"You'll grow used to war as time goes on. The important part is that you've taken the first step."

I nod thinking of what I seen that day. There were more anti mutant fanatics where that came from. If things continued as they did politically violence against mutants would only get worse.

"After seeing what you have do you really think there is a way for us to peacefully coexist with humans without fighting for dominance?"

After what I'd seen I could only say "No. I don't."

"Then you understand."

I nod sadly.

"I see what you've been trying to show me."

I didn't like it, but I couldn't ignore reality. Magneto wouldn't let me. Actually, that didn't matter at all. My conscience wouldn't let me look away now that I knew what I knew.

I couldn't go back to my ordinary life after what I saw. People were suffering for simply being what they are. As a moral person, I had to do something to stop this. As a mutant myself, I had to resist this so I could survive.

I was so stubborn that I wouldn't listen unless I was shown something like. That's why he brought me -to show how the world really treats mutants.

"It's not an easy lesson to learn. How humans would treat our kind if we give them half a chance."

"So we don't give them one at all." I finish.

"Exactly. Get some sleep it's 2 a.m."

Sleep sounded like an awful idea. Then I'd have to spend hours walled up in my mind with nothing to do but think about what I'd seen. Still, I was exhausted and worn down. I had to rest.

Knowing something is a dream doesn't make it any less frightening. My nightmares scared me awake gasping.

I couldn't see, but I could feel how the metal on the walls had turned into spikes on the ceiling and the walls adjacent to my bed. Just when it occurred to me that my bed was floating in the air, it suddenly dropped and crashed onto the floor.

The door to my room opens and the lights came on revealing the condition of the room. It looked beyond trashed. My clothes were scattered across the room, the books had fallen out the book shelf, and the desk I often sat at was upside down.

The other being in the world capable for manipulating magnetism said "For a moment, I thought there was an earthquake. The whole base was shaking."

"Oh sorry about that... is anyone hurt?"

"They're quite fine and think nothing of it. You did nothing wrong. You had a nightmare then?"

I nod.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

I normally wouldn't. Not ever. But, I was afraid and my brain was still very fixated on the horrors I saw that day. Not three minutes ago I was drowning in blood and the normally distinct line between dream and reality blurred. Worse, I had none of the usual control I had over my dreams. That was the scariest part, I was locked in my own mind with no way to escape. I just couldn't get it out of my mind. If talking about it could help, I'd give it a shot.

So I told him about the dream. He sat on the bed next to me and listened to me the whole time.

"You dreams are clearly the result of what you've seen in the last day."

I didn't reply.

"Do you feel wrong for killing Matthews?"

Without censoring I spoke the answer that first came to mind "No."

There was a pause before he said "But, you expected to."

Exactly.

"I was so angry-no forget that I'm still angry about what he did so I killed him. But I'm disturbed by everything else, but not the fact that I killed him. Thats..."

I pause.

"Good." Magneto said.

"Terrifying." I finish.

For a moment, we stared at each other in silence. Magneto took note of my fear and said "You've done nothing wrong. Would our brethren have gotten the justice they deserved from their courts?"

'Their' obviously meant humans here.

There was only one answer to that question.

"No."

"So we obtained it ourselves. We gave everyone involved the same pain and fear their victims felt. If anything we were merciful as they were killed in minutes while our kind languished for weeks."

I was just thinking the same thing about the director.

"There is nothing to worry about. Your lack of concern for the vermin of the earth shows that your aren't a fool and have a bit of pragmatism. You know that people like Matthews are unreasonable and dangerous like mad dogs. And what does one do when a mad dog attacks?"

"Shoot it." I answer.

He nods.

"But as you can see, you have nothing to fear now. None of the things you saw in your dreams are real."

The older man excused himself and I barely just barely resisted the urge to ask him to stay as he left my room. He returned carrying a sleeping pill and a cup of water.

I down this next pill unquestioningly.

"Thanks." Wait did I?

Everything slowed my train of thought broke and my eyes grew heavier. I blinked once, twice, but didn't have the energy to open my eyes a third time.

I'd forgotten how wonderful Non-REM sleep also known as dreamless sleep was. It was something that most people completely took for granted, but was almost always denied to me. When I did first experience it at nine, it was no surprise that I'd quickly became addicted to the complete lack of worries and cares the state brought. Of course as you know, I don't have dreamless sleep naturally. It has to be induced by artificial means.

Yes, I had an addiction to sleeping pills at nine… It's a long story.

I woke up the next day and after checking my alarm clock found that I'd slept till noon. I felt so light and relaxed in a way that I hadn't been in a long time and instantly craved another dose of whatever pilI I was given. Why would I want to feel as I normally did when this was so so much better?

It took Magneto what- two minutes to get the sleeping pills? They're on this floor. Completely unsecured likely. In minutes, I can figure out which bathroom he got them from, but I already have a good guess..

I shook my head No, cold turkey means just that.

I spent a bit of time cleaning up my room before I grabbed some food. I got a bit of flack from Mystique for sleeping through breakfast mixed with the bitterness I'd always heard in her voice, but never paid any attention to.

The walls were still messed up and I wondered if I could fix them myself. This sounded like a great idea to me because it would get my mind off the fact that I really wanted another pill so badly.

Yes, this isn't the normal reaction to sleeping pills, but my family on my father's side has an uncanny ability to become addicted to things. On his side of the family, it wasn't a matter if you'll be addicted, but what you'll be addicted to.

My vices reading, using my mind, and sleeping pills were pretty tame in comparison to street drugs or alcohol. It's a good thing I'd never joined a gang. If I did I'm sure I would've never had left unless it was through death. Drug habits are expensive to finance and there was no honest job open to me that could sustain one.

After I'd once again reminded myself that I'd quit years ago, my thoughts quickly turned to rationalization.

Other people get to have dreamless sleep why can't I?

In case you haven't noticed the magnetic powers or ability to think for myself I'm not like other people. Cynicism pointed out.

It's not even illegal.

Like that matters to me. I'm a mutant me existing might as well be a crime. I follow one law my code of right and wrong. Rebellion took over.

You have no problem with addicts remember.

I don't. Logic had to agree.

Then why not?

I do have a problem with self destruction. Logic said.

It's only going to destroy us if we don't control it.

And what are you some sort of doctor? Last I checked the cycle goes take drug, repeat, gain resistance to said drug, and need more to get the same high. Rinse wash and repeat. There is no controlling something like that. Logic retorted

I sigh. I might've bought myself 10 minutes with that comeback.

Just to be sure, I should tell someone.

Fixing the walls could wait. I needed to tell someone.

Mystique? Toad? No, they'd just laugh. Sabertooth would give me the pills so he could watch the result.

That leaves Magneto. Logic said.

I'll risk the addiction, thank you very much. Rebellion said.

Good thing this isn't up to you then. Logic had appreciated Rebellion's help over the last few weeks. So seeing him slide back to his childish ways was disappointing. I went to Magneto's office and told him.

He was of course shocked. "You were addicted to sleeping pills?"

"Mom's bosses had gotten tired helping her and put everything on me because I 'was old enough'. I didn't know how to deal with it myself. She tried to kill me for the first time right before and Oh- this is just excuse making -pathetic."

I shook my head.

"Yes I was. I'm asking you to keep an eye on your supply of sleeping pills. No, I'm serious this isn't a joke."

The man said "I never said it was."

I blush "Sorry that's the general reaction. People when they think addiction they think cocain, or meth when in reality you can be addicted to anything. It's… Frustrating to be told you don't exist."

"I've done the same… Too many times to be offended by you doing it to me."

Attributing the wrong emotion to the wrong person is something he does a lot? Oh.. he get's angry and it scares everyone around him even if he's not upset with them personally.

He continued "I'll be sure to secure our supply of these pills."

I sigh in relief. I had a lot of self control but to be honest being forced to quit by circumstance was much easier. All I had to do was wait it out for a day and then the cravings as intense as they are would go away.

This as you can see is why I don't take drugs. If sleeping pills draw me in like cats to catnip I'd never give up any real drugs with or without a 12 step program.

Magneto being the person he is asked "What brought it on?"

"Stress. Need for escapism. I don't actually have Non-REM sleep like most people."

"You... have a perfectly normal perception of time when you sleep?"

I nod " It usually works math problems get solved,I figure things out, build things, but of course my mom's illness was completely out of my league to handle on my own. Sleep doesn't get rid of my problem for a few hours it leaves me to wrestle with them all night."

"Because your brain never properly cuts off." The older man finishes.

"Which meant that when I did experience Non-REM at 9 I was hooked. Dreamless sleep is a wonderful thing."

The man completely agreed with me there.

"That it is. Still you broke your habit before."

"Yes, because I ran out. It had nothing to do with morality or self discipline. I ran out and when I got the money to get more I couldn't just return from the grocery store with no food. Well I could mom had another breakdown soon after but it wouldn't be right."

"So given the opportunity to satisfy your habit you chose not to because you didn't want to cheat your mentally ill mother. And you say morality had nothing to do with it. It clearly does. You had a very strong moral compass even at that age."

Huh never thought about it like that. It's just one of those things I do because it's normal to me.

He smiled at me."You never cease to amaze me. I'm certain you'll do great things."

Even if I had tried there was no way I could've restrained the smile that appeared on my face.

I actually had the whole day to myself. I was honestly unsure what to do. I decided to take my dartboard outside. I attached it to a tree and got to was just something thrilling about throwing a knife. I suppose It comes from the fact that knifes if improperly used are dangerous.

My second knife struck true and landed in the dartboard's red center.

"Why do you bother?" Magneto had been watching for a few seconds and honestly I didn't care. I was far too focused on my task to.

"Bother?" I say as I pick up another knife.

"You can simply..." A knife flew out of my stack and hit the center- bullseye.

"True but can you do that with your hands."

A pause.

I'm better than you at something. Great. About time.

"What does it matter if it gets to the center all the same?" The man said.

"How you get something is often just as important as the goal." I threw another knife which joined the other three in the middle.

"Aiming with my magnetism- easy. Developing hand eye coordination to throw well. Not so easy. Which is why I do it."

I pull the knife out with my magnetism and it came back to me.

"Like a throw." I offer.

"That won't be necessary." I shrug and aim again.

"You were closer to the target last week."

"I've gotten better since last week."

The man smiles at my rare show of cockiness. "Indeed." My knife landed a few inches left of the center.

"Work in progress." I smile at the error and start to look for my mistake.

Was it my stance?

After Magneto watched me throw some more knives, he told me to walk with him. eventually we reached the beach. Magneto turned around and pointed In the direction of his base.

"Why do you think my base is made of metal?"

"Readily available ammunition. A person would have to be an idiot to attack you in there. But if they did, they'd be a dead idiot. Natural selection."

The man laughs at this. "True. You're correct there.. but there is also another more personal reason."

I frown "Then I'm lost."

"It's a symbol of our power."

"Our power?"

"Yes, yours, mine the collective power of mutantkind."

He continues.

"If I on my own can build this." He gestures to his immaculate Palace.

"Imagine what we can do if we all banded together."

"Anything." I thought about it and it filled me with sense of awe.

"Exactly, anything at all. How do you feel about that?"

"It's exciting but a bit frightening."

"After you fully hone your mutation you will have far more control over it."

He must think I'm talking about how I shook up the base last night.

I shook my head "I'm talking about using our mutations to do immoral or wrong things."

I wanted to say 'We could become worse to humans than the humans are to us.' But I didn't want to anger the man by suggesting this.

"First, you must understand that rules and laws aren't static and those with power make and enforce the law as they please." He kept going.

"With the power we have new laws can quickly written in our favor and so on."

I shook my head "No."

"What?"

"No. That would be exchanging one wrong for another. Mutant or human I don't care what a person is if you do things like abuse children or force people into involuntary servitude it's wrong. I don't care how to connected a person is. I don't care how powerful a person is. It's wrong."

The man's face became cold. "If I didn't know any better... I could think that you were accusing me of these things."

My breath caught in my throat. That wasn't my intention. When he talked about making laws that favor mutants I wanted to say that injustice is injustice and wrong is wrong no matter who does it. Those crimes just happen to be the first things I thought of

"Of course, you know better. I don't take false accusations lightly. They are attacks. Verbal ones but attacks nonetheless."

I certainly remembered the last time I attacked Magneto.

"You yourself know what would have happened had I not intervened.."

I would either be dead or be forced to do the government's bidding. Fight for the same people who'd rather kill me than let me live freely.

"While you didn't wanted my help, it doesn't change the fact that it was help. Children even precocious ones like yourself often don't know what's best for them."

"What do you know of involuntary servitude and the world's cruelties?" He asked in a way that chilled me to the bone.

"Nothing." I sounded far less calm than I'd like to be.

"And it would be best to keep it that way, yes? Remember your place boy."

He glared at me for a moment before he took in my expression and sighed.

"No accusing me wasn't your intention. If it was you'd either be arguing with me or attacking me by now."

I shook my head slowly unable to comprehend what had just happened. How he became instantly terrifying in a way that I hadn't ever seen before. I had not only angered the man but it seemed like he'd like nothing more than to kill me on the spot.

"Since you're concerned about this there are more than enough mutants to stop the less moral among us."

"Noted." I answer.

"Electron." I looked at the man.

"I'm sorry for frightening you there. You didn't mean to offend and I snapped at you."

What did he just apologize? First he says he cares about my welfare and now this an apology?

My response was far less eloquent "Uh.. ok."

"Normally people would say something along the lines of you're forgiven.. Why am I not surprised?"

"You know that my generation lives for shortening words lol,rolf and so on" Some of my shock was starting to wear off.

"Why?"

"Easier to type on a cellphone. It's gotten to the point where you can tell a story with emojis."

Instead of clearing up his confusion it only added more. "What is an emoji?"

Did he go from threatening me to asking what an emoji is in under two minutes? Yes, he did. Magneto's a very straight forward 'get it over with' person. If he apologizes he expects things to be instantly forgiven and doesn't think about giving people time to mentally process the emotional whiplash he gave them.

Still, even if it did feel strange I let the conversation's tone drastically change. I'd take any chance I'd get to get off the subject anyway.

I stared at him as if he'd announced that the earth was flat."You don't know what an emoji is? They've been around for years. You can't use a cellphone without seeing them. Even disposable cellphones have them."

"I use a specially made phone that has far more security."

As we talked and I tried to explain to the man how smiley faces made with punctuation marks could be so popular, I filed away a new bit of information.

Don't accuse Magneto of anything unless you're prepared to get the verbal attack of your life.

After that ordeal, I decided to do something very childish. I built a sand castle. This quickly turned into the Alster hydroelectric dam.

"Guaranteed to be washed away in an hour." I smirk before I start thinking of the last time with I did this with my mom.

I miss her.

That's not going to bring her back. Logic said.

True. According to Magneto I'm going to do great things. Rebellion said.

He's not lying we've been on that track since we decided to become an engineer. Logic said

And now we can be as powerful as him. Manipulation added.

And we also have a very long list of people who hate us because of how we were born. Cynicism pointed out.

Manipulation only shrugs. Comes with the territory, I suppose.

I fine I accept it. Things would've went terribly terribly wrong as Magneto not kidnapped me. Logic said.

Odd way of putting it, but you're right. He's right and I was so stubborn that I refused to acknowledge the possibility. Rebellion said.

I had to leave to see that my world leaders were trying to get with Genocide. So I had no choice. I had to fight.

With these conditions you would think this would be far more clear cut than it is.

I sigh. I've killed someone. A vile a evil person that hurt mutants. Who as Magneto said would've never been punished for his crimes. Still, I hate war. I can't stomach it.

We do hate war. But, I get why I need to do it in this case. People like that can't be reasoned with. Logic said.

So what we're extremists now? Rebellion said.

Extreme problems do require extreme Action. You don't put a bandaid on a bullet wound. Wisdom added.

Everyone agreed with that.

Accepting the reality of the situation is the first step to fixing a situation and I'd accepted mine. War would happen and I needed humans to lose for my own sake. At the moment, the only the group that thought the same was The Brotherhood. So I'd work with them and be a bit of a moderate as I still didn't think we had to crush the humans completely underfoot..

A military victory was required yes. But, turning humans into slaves? Never. Still, even if I didn't agree with them my hands were tied because they had my mother. While I was learning from Magneto I could become much more powerful much quicker than if I were alone.

Out of all the possible outcomes it was the best. It wouldn't cause anyone's health or well-being to suffer.

That being said I didn't mean that I had complete unquestioning loyalty to the Brotherhood. An early Suffragette said it best I'm paraphrasing here "The only thing I unconditionally obey is my sense of right and wrong."

If the Brotherhood for some reason became corrupt beyond repair and it became more of a monster than its enemies then I'd work against it. I headed back to the palace with an understanding that I lacked before.

Over the next week, Magneto seemed to make it his personal mission to nurture my fragile ego. This was in response to my reaction to him saying that he expected great things out of me. He called me intelligent when I did something right before but he was generally very critical of me.

He was just as critical as ever but he often used phrases like "I expect better of you" or "You're more than capable of doing X."

This type of feedback amazingly didn't make me want to punch him in the face. I responded well to it. After 2 months of focusing on what I can't do, which is a very long list defeat Magneto, beat Mystique in a fight, be a threat to anyone without some metal nearby or a lot of adrenaline (more on this later) etc being told that could do something felt wonderful.

You see when you go your whole life without anyone believing in you, it feels wonderful to find someone who thinks you are capable of better. Their belief gets rid of your own doubts and fears. So you want to get better because it proves that you can excel. I secretly loved when people have high expectations of me and it hurt when people expected nothing from me. I hadn't had so many compliments at once before and because of the source I believed them. I could almost feel my self-confidence build itself back up brick by brick.

What to do with that self-confidence? I wasn't sure.

A few days passed and it seemed like I was back to square one. I felt content. Which was odd because I just gotten some important information that I could use to escape. I knew where my mom was. More importantly, if I looked up the number Magneto used to call her I could figure out where she was. Specifically, which hospital. I already knew every mental hospital in Chicago. If I just asked about the activities that her mental hospital had I could figure out where she was. Still for some reason I didn't do anything to act on this information.

Why?

One it could be a trap and I didn't want to take my chances.

Even if I did leave and helped her and everything went well I'd still be on the run with my mentally ill mother, who hates mutants. Worse if she attacks me, I won't be able retaliate because I know that I wouldn't be able to. And if she finds out that I'm a mutant... It could be terrible. The threat of losing what little family I had stopped me in my tracks.

At the same time, a sense of loyalty started to form in my heart, but not to the Brotherhood. I don't have faith in organizations. They change too much for me to have too much for me to be very loyal to them. The organization that works for change isn't what matters. It's the change itself.

My new loyalty instead was to other mutants stuck in camps like the one we'd just attacked. After lunch as we were walking down the hall I asked Magneto a question.

"We're going to go free more mutants right?"

He said "Of course."

I said "Good." There was a pause before I decided to ask about what was bugging me.

"What happens after the Sentinels?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I'm curious."

Magneto being himself would never turn down a chance to lecture me. "That my boy Is when the real war begins. The humans will throw everything they have at us after we've destroyed their toys."

"Think they'll pass the MRA after it?"

"One can never overestimate the stupidity of the public. I think they certainly would." He said ever the cynic or realist depending on your point of view.

I thought of the implications of that course of action."Which would likely alienate the neutral mutants."

"There are no neutral parties in this war. Only non-combatants."

I turn my head to him "What do you mean by that?"

"They might not fight but everyone in someway contributes to the war."

"I see."

"Remember that the humans will stop at nothing to defeat us. if we show any weakness they'll exploit it to the fullest. The only people we can stand with completely are our own."

A few hours later, Magneto says "Walk with me. I'd like to talk with you."

I followed the man closely. He seemed pleased about something.

"I've discovered that Joseph Phelps is the traitor who told BOF about our attack minutes before we got there for money."

I felt extremely disgusted at this. Quiting I could get. Maybe you don't agree with how the place is run. But ruining a plan to save 50 people for money is beyond horrific. How could someone do that?

"Then he's just as guilty as the Director and those who worked there."

Magneto nodded with approval. "Exactly."

"He's a traitor and must be dealt with director was warned that the attack would happen a month from the actual date so they didn't expect to see us. Once we attacked, he expected to be able to disappear in the confusion. Anyone who knew of him was killed right after our attack."

"So because the Brotherhood had just attacked the BOF he expected us to believe that they retaliated." I hadn't noticed but I'd been using the word "us" when referring to the Brotherhood often.

"Exactly except we're much better at tracking funds than he gives us credit for."

"So what are you like the IRS with Al Capone."

"Al Capone?"

"Al Capone wasn't stopped for any of his numerous murders or any of his trafficking of alcohol. He was put in jail because of tax evasion."

He smiles at the new factoid.

"I suppose you have a point with that then. Anyway we're going to Tokyo today pack 2 days worth of clothes."

I wasn't actually told what time we'd leave and the best answer I could get out the man without literally telling him to cut the crap was soon.

One does not simply tell engineers or scientists for that matter soon. Measurements of everything have to be exact in science so it's no surprise the answer "soon" made me want to scream. When is soon? Is there an hour called soon o clock? If so how many hours is it from the present time so you don't wake me up in the middle of me sleeping?

He probably did this on purpose to mess with me. He knows I hate ambiguities.

Well, I'd just figured out what to do with my newly found confidence.