Chapter 14

Disclaimer: The owner of these characters. Who is Dick Wolf?

Bobby walked over to his mother's bed. She was sleeping fitfully, the doctor told him. Between leaving home and arriving at his mother's side, his mother's fever had broken. She was going to be okay. It relieved Bobby a little to know that she wasn't in so much pain. His mother started to shift on the bed. She opened her eyes and focused on him.

"Bobby?" She struggled to keep contact with him. Her eyes kept closing, and opening and closing.

"Yeah, Mom. I'm here. How are you?"

"Bobby? Where's Bobby?" Frances frowned at her son. "You're not…what did you do to him?" There was a knock at the door. Dr. Shimo crossed the threshold warily.

"Frances, are you awake?" Dr. Shimo approached Frances carefully. She was still eyeballing Bobby, her eyes narrowed. She reached up and slapped Bobby.

Inwardly, Bobby sighed. Bobby helped Dr. Shimo control his mother while an orderly came in to sedate her. When Frances was calmed down enough, Bobby and the doctor walked out into the hallway.

"I'm sorry Robert. The good news is she has snapped out of that flu she had. She's doing good physically." Dr. Shimo patted Bobby on the back.

"Listen, just let me know when she has a good day. I need to tell her something important. Whether she'll retain it or not…She should know though." Bobby turned to leave. Dr. Shimo let him go. Bobby walked out to the parking lot and started his car. He looked at his phone – five messages all coming from Alex. He called her back. He got her answering machine. "Alex, it's Bobby. I won't be back tonight." He turned off his phone. He sat in the car and thought about everything. He was upset about his mother. He wanted to tell her about the baby, let her know her boy was going to be a father. Her one and only grandchild would be here in 3 months. He wanted her to know, she deserved to know. But would she even remember? Would she have another break? What if she got sick again and he never got to tell her. The sun started setting; the visitors' lot was nearly empty. Bobby thought about Alex and their baby. Her family would be there and love this baby. Her mother would make a good grandmother; she had tons of practice. His child would only know her side of the family. And what if this child ended up like Frances? What if…? The sky grew darker. Robert Goren did something he hadn't done for a long time. He put his head down and cried for all the things he couldn't bring himself to think out loud.

Alex's…

It had been a bad day at work. Alex had gone in for the swing shift. Her legs kept cramping, her hands were cramping from the paperwork, the baby kept kicking and just as she got home she got a message from Bobby saying he wouldn't be home. Well that was just great. All she wanted to do was take a hot bath and snuggle in bed watching "What NOT TO Wear." She was so wiped out and it was only nine thirty at night. Her cell phone rang. "Eames? Bobby, what- " Bobby was hysterical on the phone. It scared her more than anything. Robert Goren did not succumb to hysterics. "Bobby! Slow down, calm down, I can't understand you!" All she got out of him was Carmel Ridge. Something happened to his mother. Still on the phone with him she grabbed her keys and got in her car, knowing it was illegal to drive and talk at the same time. She didn't care.

Bobby…

Bobby hung up his phone and got out of his car. After he had calmed down from his first breakdown, he started the car and drove away, almost to the gate. His phone rang again. Hoping now that it was Alex, he picked it up without looking.

"Robert, it's Dr. Shimo. Come back now, she's not doing good." And then he hung up. Bobby whipped his car around. He ran back into the facility and ran right into Dr. Shimo.

"What is it? What's wrong?" But Bobby concentrated on the doctor's face.

"I'm sorry – " Dr. Shimo was cut off. Bobby took off behind him and ran into his mother's room. There was another doctor he had seen before, along with a nurse. They looked up, both startled and apologetic. "Robert, I'm sorry. It just happened. As soon as I hung up with you, it was over. She was gone."

"How did this happen?" Bobby was eerily calm.

"You know we have to do the autopsy. I think it was cardiac arrest."

"I'll be back for the arrangements. I have to go." Bobby all but staggered out of the building. As soon as he got back into the car he called Alex. And for the second time, he lost it again. He could barely get the words out to her, to let her know what happened. Every time he tried to say it, he thought about all he wanted to tell her, about the baby, and he started sobbing all over again. He got Carmel Ridge out of his mouth. He sobbed a little longer and just gave up, turning off the phone.

When Alex got there, his car was nearly the only one in the parking lot. She pulled up next to him, got out and opened the passenger side door. "Bobby? Bobby, I am so sorry." She put her hand over his. He jumped at her touch. He kept staring out the windshield, a blank expression on his face, lips moving but no sound. She tried again. "Bobby, get in my car, I'll drive you home. I'll get your car towed." He didn't acknowledge her, but did as she said. She began to drive. She looked over at him and saw silent tears rolling down his face. He cried himself to sleep. She reached for his hand and squeezed it, the baby kicking her in the ribs just as she did so. They arrived at Alex's place. She helped him up the stairs and let him in. She directed him towards the bedroom and tucked him in. He was wordless as she did all this. He fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. Alex sat by his side, watching him, making sure he was still breathing. She rubbed his forehead affectionately before leaving the room to call Lewis. She had to tell him about Frances, and maybe get him to tow Bobby's car to her apartment. She flopped down on her couch and started making phone calls.

Later

Alex opened the door. Lewis stepped inside and gave her a hug.

"Whoa, Alex. Bobby didn't tell me you were helping your sister again." Lewis blushed and handed her Bobby's car keys. "His car's behind your building. How are you?"

"What do you mean he didn't tell you?" Alex was confused.

"He didn't tell me. Listen, is he asleep?"

"Yeah, he's been passed out for hours now."

"Have him call me when he wakes up. I have to work tomorrow. I'll stop by again too. If you need anything, let me know." Lewis started to leave.

"Lewis? This isn't my sister's baby. It's mine. And Bobby's." She stood by the door, taking in his genuinely shocked face. "He really didn't tell you did he?"

"Sorry, Alex. He didn't. Not a peep." He hugged her goodbye again. "Call, anytime, for anything. And congratulations." He left. Alex was left alone with her own demons now. Why wouldn't he tell Lewis? He was his best friend. She padded back to her room. She found Bobby sitting up on the edge of the bed. "Bobby?" She went to his side and sat down next to him. The silent tears again. She rubbed his back and his tears came faster and harder. He sobbed and hiccupped. She laid him down on his stomach and kept trying to comfort him. He wouldn't look at her when he flipped over. He rested his huge hand on her belly, his long fingers spreading across the expanse. He inhaled raggedly and turned himself around, facing the window. Alex pulled the blankets over both of them and wrapped her arms around him best she could. The baby started kicking again. Bobby jumped. "Alex? Please, can you…I need to…" He nodded off before finishing his sentence. Alex turned onto her back, making sure his breathing was steady. Only then did she let her tears flow.