A/N: Here's another bout of exhausting inspiration for you. I've been wanting to do a Jiraiya fic. But until today, I couldn't figure out how to do it. Then, I was listening to some music (as I am wont to do when thinking), and "Hometown" by Chamber began to play. Oooh. That did it. And Voila. Here you have what I think is a nice fic. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the angsty love! This is rated for a bit of limey action in the bathtub.

Legal Stuffiness: I don't own Naruto, silly.

Time period: Um, not sure about the math. Brain hurts. Just suffice it to say that Jiraiya and Tsunade are around 28 (note: Dan is not in the picture. I've ignored his existence. So there.).

You Give Me A Headache

He was tired. How long had it been since he'd slept in a real bed? At the moment, it didn't matter. He looked around, sighing. His hometown looked much as it had when he'd left. For half a second, he wondered why it was that he'd changed his appearance to come home for his research. Then, he remembered. There were those here that would not be that happy to see him. He adjusted the small pack on his back, and then pulled off his headphones. The music still blared, and he couldn't quite reach the "off" switch on the portable CD player just now, so he'd have to let it go until he could get into a place where he could sit and have a drink.

Sake. That blessed nectar of the gods, awaited him, somewhere nearby. He knew this, because this was his hometown. He would have sake, lounge, relax, then find a room. And he would avoid anyone he knew, like they had the plague. That meant not going to the bath house, like he really wanted to. He needed a good soak, with all of the traveling he'd done in the past year.

There was a bar not far away. He saw the sign, and smiled. All he had to do was get in there, and he wouldn't have to worry about anything, for at least a few hours. Until the sake wore off. Then, he could worry. As he entered the nearly-empty bar, he looked around for any sign of people he might know. There was no one, so he went to a table in the back, sheltered from the door by screened partitions, and sat. He signed in relief, and toed off his sandals. Flexing his toes, he smiled. Damn, but it felt good to be off of his feet.

"What can I get you, sir?" The young serving girl asked him.

He didn't even look at her. "Sake, please. A large sake." The girl giggled at his tone, showing just how young she was. He wondered briefly how a girl of younger than fifteen was working in a bar. Then, he turned his thoughts back to the task at hand: lounging. His backside slid closer to the edge of his seat, and he let the back of his head rest on the seat back. "Ahh."

"You look comfortable." His eyes shut tightly. That voice was too familiar. Maybe if he just closed his eyes, they'd go away. "Look at me, Jiraiya." He opened his eyes to see exactly who he'd expected. A woman, of average height, slender, with blonde hair and far above-average sized breasts. He knew better than to leer, because she'd nearly killed him for that when he was fifteen. "What are you doing here, you pervert?"

She slid into the booth opposite him. He really didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to talk to anyone. He was here for research, and not for his new book. There were things that had been troubling him, and he needed to resolve them. Quietly. "Tsunade, please. I need to remain…anonymous."

Her eyes narrowed at him, but she lowered her voice. "Well, then, why are you here?"

"I can't tell you that, woman. Now, please, leave me be." He rubbed his temples, eyes closed. Why did she always give him a headache? There was a reason he'd left. And she was sitting right in front of him. He kept his eyes closed, and remained silent. Maybe, if he didn't say anything, and ignored her, she would go away. Maybe. He didn't want to talk to her. He didn't want to feel her sitting there across from him, staring at him, asking questions, and looking like she wanted to kill him, all at the same time. Jiraiya's head felt like it was going to split in half. He hadn't had a Tsunade headache in nearly eight years.

"Can you tell me how long you'll be in Konoha?" He still didn't open his eyes to look at her. Tsunade, he knew, was looking at him, those brown eyes boring holes into him, her arms crossed under her more than ample bosom. Her mouth would be twisted into that half-frown-half-smile, the one that said she was both annoyed and amused. He sighed. Why did it have to be her that recognized him?

"I'll be here for a month. Now, please, leave me alone. I've got a splitting headache, I've been walking for a week, and I need sake." He leaned his head back against the cushioned booth again. She still wasn't going away. Damn her. He could feel every muscle in his body tensing. Damn her. He felt like she was going to hit him any moment. It was a feeling born of many years of experience dealing with this woman. Jiraiya's instincts where the other jounin were concerned were very accurate. It was just that he seldom followed the advice that those instincts gave him.

He heard a loft clinking noise, and knew that the girl had come with his sake. He reached out blindly, but before he could even touch the cup he knew to be there, Tsunade said, "Bring another, and another cup." He groaned. She was staying. Why did she feel the need to do this to him? He had always had the distinct impression that she did not enjoy his company, and only tolerated it when they were younger because they had been on the same team. Thrown together, so to speak. So why was she staying?

The only comfort he took was that the sake would get rid of his headache. That was the only thing that ever helped his mood when she was around. Half opening one eye, he watched her watching him. She sat, as expected, in the precise way that he'd seen in his mind's eye. He sighed. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. And she was the most evil creature on earth. She drove him insane, with her sneering smiles. He just wanted to yell at her to get the hell out of his booth, but he simply didn't have the energy.

When he closed his eye again, she made a noise in the back of her throat. Not quite a cough, but almost. Just to get his attention. He sat up straight, looking over at her. She seemed satisfied that he was not going to fall asleep. He reached over to take the sake bottle—rather large after all, thank goodness—and pour himself a cupful. Once it was full, he raised it to his nose, smelling it. A ghost of a smile appeared on his face. He drank.

"Do you have a place to stay, Jiraiya no baka?" He nearly spit out his sake. Instead, he swallowed it, trying not to seem as shocked as he was.

"No, not really. I was going to find an inn." He poured himself another cup. This time, he started to sip slowly, not just gulping it down as before. That was much better. He was not going to ask her why she was asking so many questions. He wasn't. He was just tired, and he wasn't going to play whatever game it was she wanted to play. Jiraiya was sure that she was playing some kind of game, because he could feel the amusement coming off of her. How could he get rid of her?

Escape or getting rid of her seemed nowhere in sight, however, because the too-young serving girl brought Tsunade's sake, and the woman grunted her thanks, immediately pouring a cup and downing it. It was only two in the afternoon. He hoped that she didn't have any missions to complete. The way things were looking, she was going to be completely drunk by around two thirty in the afternoon.

Jiraiya suddenly realized that he'd been staring. He looked away, and Tsunade spoke again, after her second cup of sake. "Why don't you come and stay with me? I have an extra bedroom."

There was no hiding his shock. His mouth hung open, and he lowered his cup slowly to the table before saying, "Huh?" For a moment, he laughed at himself in his own head. He was just so…articulate. "Tsunade, I'm trying to lay low. How am I supposed to do that if I'm staying with you? The sheer amount of chakra concentrated in such a small space will be like a beacon." He sighed. She was looking at him, those brown eyes boring into him, a slight alcohol induced blush on her cheeks. With one eyebrow raised, she formed a familiar expression. This face said, Just try to say no, Jiraiya no baka. See what happens.

He was not going to argue with her. He couldn't. But the sake wasn't helping his headache just yet, so he downed another cup quickly, willing the alcohol to do its work, and receiving another sharp twinge of pain in his head for the trouble. For what seemed like the hundredth time, he sighed, and let his eyes drift shut. "Why?"

"Excuse me?" Her voice drifted over to him, as if on a light breeze.

"Why would you invite me to stay with you? You don't even like me." He paused momentarily, then amended himself. "No, I'm pretty sure you hate me." Eyes still closed, he nodded. Yes. That was it. She hated him. Hated his face, his hair, his voice, the way he looked at her, everything. He set his cup back down on the table, and rubbed at his closed eyes with the heels of his hands, groaning with fatigue. When his hands came down from his face, he felt another hand, very quickly. Tsunade performed a perfect full-arm slap to Jiraiya's face. That's a first. I didn't even make any lewd remarks. His eyes flew open, staring at her.

Her mild annoyance with him had blossomed into full-fledged anger. An angry Tsunade was dangerous, indeed. The proof was still stinging on his cheek. He blinked, and blinked again. She was still staring at him, boring holes into him, but she was looking directly into his eyes. Jiraiya was, for the first time in years, truly frightened. "How dare you say that, Jiraiya?" Her voice was barely a whisper, though he heard it loud and clear. She looked like she was going to rip his arms off. Then, she shook herself, gathering her thoughts. Her tone was low and dangerous. "No. You will not argue. You are going to stay with me. Finish your sake." Jiraiya frowned. He hated being ordered around. He despised it, actually. But he wasn't about to get himself killed because he had an authority problem.

"Yes, ma'am." The two of them sat in silence for the next half hour, drinking their sake. When Jiraiya was through, he slipped his shoes back on, and stood, swaying slightly. He hadn't eaten anything today. Maybe the sake hadn't been such a good idea, after all. Tsunade rose as well, and was far more collected, though she did still have a flush on her cheeks. She turned her head to see him, and crooked a finger at him.

"Follow me, Jiraiya no baka."

In his sake-soaked mind, he sulked. He hated it when she did this. She would put on that oh-so-superior "my grandfather was Hokage" attitude, and push him into doing something he certainly didn't want to do in the first place. Why did he let her? Usually, there was a lame excuse. Right now, he was just tired. He needed a bath, and sleep. Then he could worry. When he was rested, sober, and clean, then he could worry. His research was something of a worry in and of itself.

After about twenty minutes of him trailing behind her, they came to her apartment. He didn't know how she could afford such a nice place on a jounin's salary, but he wasn't going to question. Jiraiya was going to be able to sleep in a real bed, for the first time in about a month, and he wouldn't care if it was in Konoha Prison. The place was spacious, with creamy walls. The living room was large, with a few chairs, a couch, and a table. However, the overwhelmingly obvious feature of the room were the bookcases. There were six large cases full of books. In fact, it was a wonder that he could see any of the creamy painted walls at all.

"Tsunade, can I use your shower? I smell." The woman stepped into the apartment after him, then walked over to where he stood. She took an experimental sniff at his chest, and wrinkled her nose.

"You're right. It's the second door on the right down the hall. Watch your head in the shower. It's a bit small for you." She seemed amused at the thought of him hunched over in the shower. For once, he thought he could see her mind swerving into the gutter. His suspicions were confirmed when he raised a questioning eyebrow. "What are you looking at me like that for, baka? Go and clean yourself up before smell up the entire place!" Yep. Defensive. Her mind was in the gutter, all right.

"Okay. But if the shower's too short, I'm gonna take a bath. Not keen on smacking my head on the ceiling." He trudged down the hall without waiting for her answer. She was just going to have to deal with a dirty bathtub, as far as he was concerned. This wasn't his idea, anyway.

Unlike most of the apartment, the bathroom did not have cream-colored walls. This was obviously a special place for Tsunade. The walls were a deep blue, and there was a thick white rug in the middle of the pale green tiled floor. A shelf of a few choice books was set next to the tub, as well as a small cupboard, most likely containing bath supplies. Apparently, this was the only place the woman truly relaxed. Jiraiya dropped his pack to the floor, and walked over to the oval-shaped tub. The ceiling wasn't too low, but he thought that since he couldn't go to the bath house, he would have a nice soak here, instead.

Once he got the water running, he released the jutsu that had changed his hair color, eye color, and the set of his nose. He thought it had been sufficient. He'd even changed the length of his hair, but it apparently wasn't that great, because Tsunade had seen through it. Looking in the mirror, Jiraiya frowned. Prematurely white hair stuck out in all directions, and he still had those red tattoos on his face, as if he were crying blood. He felt old. Knowing very well that he was only twenty-eight did no good. His father used to say that one was only ever as old as they felt.

Snorting, he thought he must be about a hundred and fifty at the moment. Then, he looked at the clothes he was wearing. Again, he had thought them sufficient. A dark red kimono, with a pale green sash both of which fit him well, and he had thought that they looked nice. Oh, well. He reached into his pack, and pulled out a small packet of medicinal salt, putting some into the water. The stuff smelled like antiseptic, but it really helped to work the knots out of his muscles. God knew he needed it at the moment. Just being in Tsunade's presence made him…ansty. He always felt like she was going to hit him.

To cover up the smell of the bath salt, he thought that maybe Tsunade had some kind of bath oil, or bubble bath. Maybe he could use some of that? Surely she would have something. Women always seemed to have such frivolities. Opening the small cabinet, he indeed found a large container of bubble-bath. The label said that it smelled like lemon grass and ginger. Can't argue with that. He liked both of those things, so they couldn't be bad when you put them together. When he took it out and opened it, he sniffed, and thought it was nice, but that a little would go a long way.

Jiraiya took some of it in his hand, and let the hot water rinse it from his fingers. Once the tub was filled with steaming water and bubbles, he put the container back into the cupboard, then removed his clothes. The head plate that he'd taken to wearing joined the kimono on the floor, and he settled himself into the water. The heat worked into him, loosening his muscles, burning away his annoyance at Tsunade. After a moment, he dunked his head under the bubble-covered water, and then came back up. Damn, but that felt good. He wiped the bubbles from his face, and then just leaned back in the tub.

He could see why women liked taking bubble baths now. He felt himself becoming slightly sleepy, and contented. There was a clean washcloth sitting on the edge of the tub, and he took that and plunged it into the water. After he wrung most of the water from it, he flicked it open and put it over his face. Breathing in the steam from the cloth, he felt something in his chest loosen. He hadn't even known that tightness was there.

"You look comfortable." Behind the cloth, he began to blush. What the devil is that woman doing in here? Jiraiya peeled the cloth from his face, and looked toward where the voice had come from. Tsunade was standing near the sink, leaning on the counter. If he hadn't been so relaxed from the water and the sake, and so tired that he could barely keep his eyes open, he'd have yelled at her to get out.

Instead, he smiled. "Taking up peeping, Tsunade?"

"It isn't peeping if the person knows they're being watched." She had a point, but she still hadn't stated her purpose for intruding into his private time. He liked his private time. That was one of the many reasons why he'd become a hermit at the tender age of twenty. There were just far too many reasons for him not to continue the life of service that he'd forced himself into as a child…

"What do you want, Tsunade?" His frown deepened, brow creasing. "I'm trying to relax. Can't do that if you're in here." Trying to wave a dismissive hand at her turned into his arm merely flopping over the edge of the bath, fingers grazing the cool tiles. It sent a shock of cold up his arm. Damn, but that felt good.

"Why are you here, Jiraiya? You aren't acting like yourself." She was advancing toward him, and sitting on the bench by the tub. This was making him thoroughly uncomfortable.

"How would you know how I act? I'm a hermit." His logic only really made sense in his own head, he knew, but he said it, and was sure that she was going to start something. He closed his eyes. If he didn't have to look at her, he could forget the fact that he was naked. Maybe.

"I'm being serious." He could hear her shifting on the bench.

"So am I, Tsunade. You apparently feel that you know how it is I'm supposed to be acting. You haven't seen me in eight years. I've lived alone for eight years, in many different places. I have learned much, and forgotten even more. So please, don't assume that you know anything at all about me." He dunked himself back under the water, wishing he could stay there. But, as he was human, he had to breathe eventually. He came back up, sputtering and wiping bubbles from his face.

Tsunade was still there. Damn her. Why was she still there? Wait. When had she moved? The woman sat on the edge of the bath. For a long moment, he looked into her face, and saw the same anger there that he'd seen in the bar. He was, to put it lightly, in a compromising position. The best he could hope for was that she didn't kill him. He could live with being maimed, but he didn't think that his spirit could rest peacefully if he got killed by a big-breasted bitch of a woman who…was…what was she doing?

That question was answered quickly. Her hand reached into the water and took the cloth from him, and then started to rub slow circles over his left shoulder.

Water trickled down his back from the cloth, and he tried unsuccessfully not to shiver. Tsunade's face was strangely serene as she ran the cloth over his skin, looking not at his face, but at the bits of his body she washed. After less than ten seconds of this treatment, his brain simply shut down, abandoning its original task of trying to figure out what she was up to, if anything.

Jiraiya's eyes slid shut, and his head tilted back to meet the wall. The cloth was now making its circles over his neck and chest, the water running over his skin in a way he had never known it could, sending tingles through his body. With a groaning sigh, his entire body seemed to relax. He hadn't realized that he'd tensed. There was a soft noise, and he felt a weight settle onto his thighs.

Brain starting back up again, he opened his eyes and removed his head from where it had been resting. He blinked. Tsunade had come into the bathtub, in her jounin uniform. "Um, Tsunade?" He seemed to recall distinctly a conversation they'd had just over eight years before. She had said she wouldn't go near him if he was the last man on earth. Granted, he'd just said something he shouldn't have, but really, no one says that sort of thing and goes back on it. Do they? At that moment, his brain went into overdrive. This is it. I'm a dead man. She's gonna freakin' kill me! He tried to press himself into the wall, but it wasn't working. Damned tiles.

Now he didn't feel the cloth anymore. It had been replaced by hands that were calloused but still oddly feminine. As his mind raced, his heart decided it was going to try to jump out of his chest, and he sat there, frozen. What was she doing? The woman shifted, one of her hands leaving his chest. It reached to her own thigh, and he heard a familiar noise. She had unsnapped her kunai holster. Still, he couldn't move, even though she was obviously about to carve him up. The sound of metal grating against leather was muffled by the water, and then he saw it. In the fluorescent lighting of the bathroom, the kunai glinted eerily.

She met his eyes, her expression still serene. He wondered how anyone could look so peaceful and beautiful just before the killed someone. Tsunade's wrist flicked, and the kunai flew. Everything went black, but only because she'd taken out the light fixture. The room completely dark, he could feel the blackness pressing against him, just like the body that was sitting on his legs. Speaking of said body…it started shifting its position.

Tsunade slid herself further up his thighs, and pressed herself against him. Was he dreaming? Was he really that drunk? Was she? Now there was a horrifying thought. If she was drunk, then how bad off was he? He'd had three times as much sake as she did. He swallowed audibly. If this was some kind of alcohol induced hallucination, then why did it feel so real? Drawing a shaky breath, he reached out and took her by the shoulders and pulled her away from him.

"Are you all right, Tsunade?" If you wanted to talk about people not acting like themselves, this was as unlike Tsunade as you could get. She had said she wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole. She'd said that he was an idiot. She said he was a pervert. She said—then, he realized that he was doing the same thing she had. He was assuming that she was the same person she had been when he still lived in Konoha. Biting back a curse at his own stupidity and narrow-mindedness, he simply gave in.

Allowing himself to hold her, he pulled her to his chest. She lay her head on his shoulder. This felt…nice. Her voice came then, muffled. "Why did you leave?" This, he did not want to answer. If she had asked him about his reasons for coming back, he would have told her without hesitation. He did not now think she'd say anything to anyone about his reasons for coming back, so that was a safe topic. But this? He stayed silent. He didn't know what to say, but he did. He simply didn't want to.

When he didn't answer, Tsunade's fingers tightened on his shoulders, and she repeated herself. "Why? Why did you leave?" Her voice was clearer now. What he heard there was making the tightness seep into his chest again. She was about to start crying. He knew she was. Then, he felt the warm wetness of her tears beginning to flow, running down his shoulder, onto his chest. He certainly didn't understand what was happening, and he wasn't about to ask her. She seemed to need this, and he wasn't going to stop her. Just when he thought she was simply going to cry on his shoulder, she said something he never thought would come out of her mouth. "Why…why did I have to miss you?"

His breath stopped. He blinked. His mouth hung open. Then, something in his head just…clicked. Her slapping him, snapping at him, everything. It all made sense now. And so did his headaches when she was around. His lips curled into a smile, and he started to breathe again. Jiraiya took her face in his large hands, and placed a tender kiss on her forehead. "I missed you, too." Though he could not see her face, he knew that there was a smile there. He could feel it in the air. It was a soft smile. Leaning down, he kissed that smile.

Then, he heard something that made him want to squirm. There was the sound of a zipper, then something heavy being thrown to the floor. Tsunade was taking off her clothes. Oh, now, I'm not sure about this… It wasn't as if he had never been with a woman. He had been with more than a few. Being a self-proclaimed super pervert has its advantages…but he just didn't know if he was quite ready for that sort of thing with this particular woman. "Tsunade?"

"Jiraiya, please," There was a pleading note in her voice, to be sure, and he was fighting the urge to simply do what she wanted without question.

"Wait, please." His hands found hers in the dark, and stilled them. "I wanted to ask you something."

"What?" There was that pleading tone, shot through with urgency. God, this was difficult.

"Why do you want to do this?" Difficult. Very difficult. The words seemed sluggish coming from his mouth, as if they didn't want to be heard.

Silence fell, washing over them both. Then, she said, "You're going to be leaving again, aren't you? When you're finished with whatever you're doing?"

"Yes."

"I can't stop you, and I won't try. But I want to have a good memory with you. It doesn't matter what happens for the rest of my life. I just want to remember a time with you when we aren't at each other's throats." Jiraiya was at a loss for words. That, admittedly, did not happen often. "Please, Jiraiya. What if I never see you again?" The though of any such thing sent a shock of panic through him. He suddenly crushed her to his chest, not wanting to let go.

"No, Tsunade. I'll always come back." At that, he heard a strangled half-sob escape her. "But I think it would be good to have such a memory. As long as you're sure that this is what you want." His chin was resting on the crown of her head. For a long moment, they simply lay back against the wall of the tub, listening to the silence that surrounded them. He didn't need to ever be with anyone like this again. It was so painfully sweet and beautiful, he didn't think he could take it for much longer.

Then, Tsunade's head shifted, and he heard her say, "I'm sure." Her lips pressed against his, softly, gently, relentlessly, insistently. How had he never known this feeling before? Had he not been with enough women to know every feeling that could possibly be given by a woman? No, this was different. He wanted Tsunade, but it was different. It was different because he cared for her. She was the most beautifully evil creature on earth. He wanted to breathe her in, take her into himself. Every part of him knew that this was different, and that there would be no going back to the way he once was.

Hands moved over his skin, and left trails of fire in their wake, a burning just under his skin. His hands moved hesitantly, tracing her jaw line, the column of her throat, and all the while, his lips were on fire, being attacked as they were. Tsunade's hands left him, and he heard cloth ripping, and buttons clattering in all directions as she used her inordinate strength to rip her shirt open. Something similar happened to her uniform pants, and she slipped off her shoes.

When she leaned over onto him, he felt as if he were being burned alive. And damn, but it felt good. He held her to him for a long moment, simply feeling the moment, his hands running through her hair, down her back, sending tiny shivers through her, and through him, as well. Then, she moved against him, and the tremors moving through him weren't so tiny. They grew larger, as did the burning sensation he felt growing in his stomach. Her breath was hot against his neck, her lips barely grazing the skin there, producing a shiver, and causing him to hold her tighter against him. He wasn't going to be able to take this much longer. He knew she wasn't doing it on purpose, but…it was getting to be a little too much.

With his tightened grip, it was a simple matter to stand. Walking was a different matter altogether. He stepped out of the tub, with Tsunade wrapped around him bodily. He didn't make it very far, though. His knees gave out when her mouth attacked his ear, warm wetness caressing the flesh of his earlobe. They fell to the ground in a slick, wet heap, Jiraiya laying on his back, and Tsunade sprawled over him. He was dazed, to say the least, but the feeling only increased with each movement she made, with hands, or body, or mouth. Soon, there was a flood of sensations all competing for dominance in his mind, but they were all centered on the woman that was here with him, all around him.

Together, they moved, and the silence was filled with murmured admissions of emotions neither knew they had, cries of a desire that had become the entire world, and the beating of two very fierce hearts. When silence fell again, Jiraiya breathed. The tightness in his chest was gone, and he knew it would never return. They lay on the bathroom floor, and they held one another, in the dark. He took her in his arms, and stood once again. He opened the door, and walked in the direction of the main bedroom. She did not protest. He placed her gently on the bed, covering her with the blankets. Sliding in next to her, he pulled her closer to him, and they fell asleep.

Before he was taken by sleep, he said, only half awake, "I'll always come back…for you…"

A/N: I've been thinking as to if I should turn this into a multi-chapter thing, or just leave it as is. Ideas? Let me know via the review button (hint, hint), or pm.