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The Real End to the Trilogy

He dismissed me and my essence was pulled back into the Other Place, my home. It was good to be back, no doubt about that, but did he really have to do it like that?

I mean come on, I'm inside his body, keeping that staff from exploding, and he tells me he can't trust me to do it right? Can't trust me? Give me a break. I could have devoured his mind in a nanosecond, but did I? I don't think so!

I'd like to give that little pipsqueak a piece of my mind. (Not literally, he wouldn't be able to handle it, but figuratively. Like, I'd like to tell him what I thought of him. Sheesh! Humans!)

I think I'll just let my essence drift about for a bit if you don't mind too much. Never mind. I don't really care what you think.

No earthly bounds. Now this is the life. Nothing to tie me down, no memories, worries, cares. Ah.

I suppose there was one thing I had to thank old Natty boy for. I was probably never going to be summoned again. My name, for eternity, would have a little footnote by it saying, 'presumed dead'. No going back to earth for me. Zippity-do-da!

Still. I would have liked to see how Kitty got on. That kid was crazy. I guess that's what I liked about her. But still, you can't get too attached to humans, they're always dying on you. Maybe I'd get to see her next time I was summ-

Oh yeah, that's right. No more summoning for me. Darn that Nathaniel. Always getting in the way of my plans and-

No! Wait! What am I talking about? I don't want to go back to earth. No. What am I thinking? Earth is a bad place. Naughty djinn! Shouldn't be thinking like that.

See. Look what he did to me. Nathaniel's corrupted my mind! And now I have to live with myself for all eternity. (On the plus side, I do make exquisite conversation.)

Good thing Farqual's gone. Wouldn't want to run into him in the state I'm in. (At least this time I wouldn't be a pile of slime. Come on. Anything is better that that.)

Ah, Kitty. We were the best of friends. (As much as any human and djinn can possibly be, that is.) I would have liked to thank her for all that she did for me. But alas-

Nope. I'm not going to go there again.

Okay time to wipe all thoughts of Kitty, Nathaniel, and London in general form my mind. Ready. Set. Go!

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Hey! Look! A shiny speck! Let's follow it!

"Bartimeaus!"

What was that?

"Bartimeaus!"

Hey. There it was again.

"Bartimeaus!"

Jeez. I wish that voice would stop calling my name. Oh yeah, my name. I wonder who wants to see me. (There's something they always say about curiosity. I can't really recall at this moment what it is.) Hmm. Maybe I'll just go see who it is.

"Bartimeaus!"

Gosh, I'm coming. Settle down. This voice reminds me vaguely of this one master I had. What was his name? Umm, Peter. No. Uh, Jok. No that's not it either. Jonathon, perhaps. No, but that sounds closer. Natha-

No.

Okay. Calm down. Take a second here and think. He's dead. Dead and gone. Never, ever, coming back. Probably incinerated into a million, bajillion, different little pieces. Okay. I can deal with this. It. Is. Not. Him. Okay. I'm good now.

"Bartimeaus!"

Not good. Not Good! It's getting closer! He's coming to get me. I'm going to go hide behind that shiny speck over there. Maybe he won't see my essence.

"Bartimeaus, I just want to talk."

Uh huh. Yeah. I'm so sure.

"I just wanted to say I'm forever grateful."

What? Do my ears deceive me or was that a thank you? Maybe it wouldn't hurt to talk to him.

"There you are Bartimeaus," a perfect imitation of Nathaniel said to me.

"Uh huh," I answered. (So witty, I know.) I was waiting for him to get to the 'thank you' part. "You were saying."

"Yes. I just wanted to say thank you to you for everything."

I really could not believe my ears. (Another figure of speech.) Nathaniel was not the 'thank you' sort of person; I told him so. "Took you long enough."

"I suppose so."

"You suppose?" I snorted. (You know, in a regal sort of way. Well, I pulled it off, and that's all you have to know.) "What are you doing here anyway?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Not the answer you like to hear.

"After I dismissed you, there was a bright light from the staff and then I was here."

Now that was even worse.

"I have a feeling that our essences are somehow tied together, so that when I dismissed you I just sort of followed you to the Other Place. This is the Other Place, right?"

It just kept getting worse every second didn't it? (Not like there's time here, but you catch my drift.) "So what you're telling me, is that you are somehow tied to me? I'm understanding you fully here?"

"Yes, I believe so, Bartimeaus."

Great. "Okay," I was problem solving here, "so we just need to find you a way back."

"How do you think we'd be able to do that? Besides, I kinda like it here. I wouldn't mind staying here." He started to let his essence dissolve.

"No!" He stopped disinigrating. I proceeded. "I don't think you fully understand," I told him in the most mater of fact way. "I am not going to be stuck with you for all of eternity. Kapeesh? You need to think, in that tiny magician brain of yours, of a way to get yourself out of here. Now!"

"Jeez, Bartimeaus. I thought you enjoyed my company."

Yeah, right. "Nope, wrong. I enjoyed Kitty's company."

He looked hurt at this and at the mention of Kitty's name, he turned himself into a small lumpy ball.

"Come on, Nat, perk up! You don't want to be here forever. You'd get bored. Trust me; no one is ever going to be summoning me again. They'll all think I'm dead. So it's time to think of a way out."

"I suppose you're right."

"Great, now you're talking so sense."

"Maybe, Bartimeaus, if we drew out the circles and I dismissed you properly."

"I'm up for anything, but remember, we can't draw anything out here," I motioned around. "You'll have to hold the image in your head, oh yeah and don't forget the incense and all that smelly stuff you crazy magicians use."

"Okay," he said. He was really good at this sort of thing. Better than Ptolemy or Kitty. Maybe it helped being dead and all. Soon he had the circles, and he was ready.

"Oh, one more thing, Nat. If this works and if, for any reason, you should happen to turn out alive, promise me you will never ever summon me again."

"Deal," he agreed.

"And another thing."

"Yes, what is it, Bartimeaus?"

"You're a good kid, so don't go all corrupt on me again, and say hi to Kitty for me!"

He spoke the words of dismissal and was gone.


Kitty did not want to stay in London anymore. She was leaving as soon as she could manage. She really didn't care how the Empire faired. It could crumble into tiny pieces, and she wouldn't even bat an eye. There was one thing she had to do, though, before she left. She had to go back to the Glass Palace one last time.


She stepped into the ruins. Everything she saw was scorched and black. She reached the middle of the wreckage and the only spot untainted by the blast. She dropped her one red rose on top of it and turned to leave.

"Kitty," a voice said. She knew that voice, but she didn't want to turn around. She didn't want it to not be him.

"what?" she asked.

"Turn around, please," it begged. "I'd like to see you one last time."

She turned slowly and was greeted by the shimmering form of Nathaniel. "Nathaniel!"

"Kitty!" He tried to hug her, but he was just essence. "I don't have much time. I just wanted to say that I love you."

"I love you, too," she said back.

"Oh, yeah and Bartimeaus says 'hi'." Even as he said this his form wavered and flickered. But at the last moment, when both of their hopes had sunk their lowest, a renegade demon bounded into the wreckage and devoured them.


Ah. No bonds. No earthy ties. No Nathaniel. No worries. No cares. Just me and the Other Place, for all eternity.


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