The Marriage of a Lifetime: A Sly Cooper Story
By: John H. Stubbs
Narrated by: John X
I guess some people have their days. A friend of mine (known as Sly Cooper) asked my wife, Hotaru (also known as Sailor Saturn), and I to attend a wedding with him. Normally, I would refuse, but what the heck! I was bored and going to a wedding would be great for my kids (Peter and Haruko). I was shocked that it was going to take place at the church where I was baptized: St. Leo's Church. "I wonder why they're having it there? Knowing Sly, he's probably doing it because he's going to stealing the gold there. Maybe he's doing it because he knows that I live near St. Leo's Church and he didn't want me to walk a lot. That's sly to ya. Always cares for his close friends. Anyways, it was going to take place at St. Leo's Church, this Friday at 11:35 am. I had my tuxedo ready and everything else. I asked him if it was his wedding and he said, "Oh no! Not mine. I'm already married." "To whom?" I asked. "To Carmelita," he said. I smacked myself in the head. "But she's a cop. She could've arrested you at the spot," I thought to myself, but shook my head and said, "Congratulations!" "Thanks! Anyways, the wedding's for my two good friends of mine: Bentley and Penelope," Sly said. I remembered Bentley and Penelope, the two lovebirds. They were everywhere. At McDonalds on Torresdale Ave. At the Mayfair Shopping Center. And even at the AMC New Orleans Theater in the Roosevelt Mall. They were made for each other and it was no surprise to me that was going to get married. "So, will you and your be there, John?" Sly asked. "Of course! I've got nothing to do, anyways," I said. "Great! See you on Friday at 11:30 am. Be on time," he said and hung up. There was nothing to do, but sit and wait.
It was Friday. The day that Bentley and Penelope would get married. I had to hurry because I overslept (no thanks to my alarm clock). I got my tux on and hurried downstairs. My wife was ready before me (go figures. She always gets up before me). We hurried to St. Leo's Church and got into our seats. It was a miracle that we got here on time. Sly was looking at me and smiled. It was about time to begin the wedding ceremony. Bentley was still in his wheelchair. "I thought he could walk after all these years. Oh well," I said to myself. I've attended many weddings in my life, but Penelope looked …………well, it's hard to describe it, but WOW! I wasn't paying attention to what the priest said in the beginning, but I did listen carefully. It was almost ending when the priest asked, Do you, Bentley, take Penelope, to be your wife?" "I do," Bentley answered. The priest nodded and asked Penelope, "Do you, Penelope, take Bentley, to be your husband; to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, 'till death do you part from him?" I do," Penelope answered. The priest nodded and said, "By the power of God, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." Penelope had to go to her knees, in order for Bentley to kiss her. Sly was happy for them. So was I (this makes it my 50th wedding that I attended. Still working on my record of 100 weddings).
The wedding party was amazing! I got to dance with the love of my life, Hotaru. We danced for the whole night. But the night was really for Bentley and Penelope. It seems like Bentley was able to dance with Penelope, with or without (don't even ask) his wheelchair. I was happy for them. I really was. I just had a great time. I REALLY did.
By the way, Murry caught the bouquet. Guess you know what that means? Right?
The End