I'd gotten myself into quite the mess. I should've just listened to father, but I didn't and now…
I sighed. Sadly, I was the only one to blame.
As angry as I was, I wasn't a fool. Charles Xavier wasn't stupid. If the room was built to withstand my father, I had no chance. I sat on my bed, staring at the (clear) ceiling.
The door opened and closed. I didn't react. I heard the scraping of my (clear) chair moving across the (also clear) floor. The intruder coughed. I said nothing.
"Chris," the woman began. "I am Dr. Jean Grey."
"Angry at me for electrocuting you?" I asked.
"No, it's just-"
"Good, because I feel absolutely no remorse." I stated, finally meeting her eyes. "You do not understand how much I want to kill Xavier right now."
She looked at me, disturbed, before opening up her briefcase and taking out a folder. She swallowed, obviously nervous. Her eyes flitted to the side briefly.
Oh, that's interesting. Logic commented, leaning forward to catch more of her movements.
"I'm here to conduct-"
"No." I said, cutting her off. "I will not cooperate with any of it."
"Chris, this psych eval can lead to you getting better," she pleaded, closing her eyes.
"Don't need it." I snarled.
"But your voices-" she started, gripping the paper tightly.
"Haven't hurt me before," I hissed. "I've lived with them for 15 years now and I've had no issues."
"'They', Chris, are nothing more than auditory hallucinations," she said, slamming her pen on the table harshly.
"So? Besides when did my mental health become the priority of the X-Men?" I challenged, raising an eyebrow at her,
"Since we found a boy that murdered with glee."
"Well, it was fun," I snapped.
She froze, then shook her head. "I don't know what happened to you, Chris, but whatever Magneto did to make you like this…" She waved her file around in exasperation. "It doesn't have to be like this, you know? I'm not your enemy."
"I was kidnapped," I stated blankly.
"We apprehended-"
"A fancy term for kidnapped," I sneered. "What right do you have to do this? You're not the police. At least in the Brotherhood we don't speak in euphemisms about what we do."
The redheaded woman said nothing for a good five minutes, just fidgeting with her papers, leafing through them in deep thought. She didn't seem to be reading them, though.
"You really want to go back to Magneto?" she finally asked, giving me an unsure look.
"Of course, he's my father," I scoffed.
"Chris," she began with a sigh. "he's using you. If he really cared about you, he wouldn't be using you in his war." She rubbed her forehead. I clenched my fists.
"I don't believe you." I told her. She stayed silent again.
At this moment, I decided to go to sleep. I lay down on my bed and turned over, making it clear to her that I was done.
Dude, do you really think they're going to get rid of us? Optimism asked, worried.
I won't let them. I thought.
The moment I woke up, I was battered with the same questions by the good Dr. Jean. Of course I once again refused to cooperate. In fact, I refused to eat or drink anything. I didn't want them putting anything into what I ate. Yet another difference between Xavier and my father. Father would just shove the pill down my throat. Much less subtle.
Father used you honestly, genuinely. He ruled people out in the open. Xavier, on the other hand, he was sneaky. Xavier was a snake. He made you think you wanted what he wanted. And he didn't even need his powers to do so.
"Chris, you have to eat." Jean said, frustrated by my lack of compliance.
"Hm. Not for at least another two weeks. Usually, it's three but considering my lack of body fat..." I told her, plucking at my t-shirt, trying not to grin. It was so much fun to try to push her buttons.
"I know that!" she snapped. I smirked. "I'm a doctor!" She recomposed herself. "You just really do need to eat, Chris." I glanced at her. She had a point. If I continued this, I would lose a lot of strength. I sighed. This whole situation was just such a pain.
"Fine," I relented. "As long as you give me sealed food and bottled water."
"Chris, we'd never-"
"You guys kidnapped me," I told her with a glare. "Don't fool yourself, Dr. Grey. I trust you as far as I can throw you." She raised an eyebrow. I felt my temper rising.
Yeah! Deal with it! Optimism said, trying to sound tough. It didn't really work.
"I suppose that's… Reasonable," she said, collecting her papers. "I will discuss your demands with the professor."
And thus I had a way of making sure that my food and drinks weren't laced with anything. The X-Men were just too easy. My father would have stuffed the food down my throat even after I gave him simple and reasonable demands. He knew that by giving in that he'd lose power.
In addition to my hunger strike, I acted as recalcitrant as possible knowing that they really couldn't do anything to stop me. I refused every test and even told them point-blank "If anyone comes into the cell to try and make me do anything I'll kill them," knowing that they couldn't do anything about it.
The X-Men simply didn't know how to respond. They certainly weren't dealing with some naïve, weak-willed kid. All I had to do was wait and stall. Why not have fun while doing so?
They tried to nudge me into doing some tests, for instance by offering books to me. Dr. McCoy even promised to show me a model of the universe after hearing about my love of science. Not the solar system, the entire universe rendered in beautiful detail. I'd heard about the specific model myself, but I refused all the same.
Once the team was at their breaking point (day two, really) I told them, "I want to talk to Marie and I'll do whatever tests you want for one day."
"There's no way we will let you corrupt her, too," Scott said through a speaker, sitting in a separate security room elsewhere.
"Corrupt?" I asked, taunting him. "You mean teach her how to actually control her powers? Why don't you watch us while we're talking? I don't really care if you hear us or not, but it will probably shed some light on our relationship." Scott stayed silent. "Look, those are my terms. You're not getting anywhere like this. You might as well agree."
My friend soon arrived in my cell. She was -of course- devoid of all metal.
"Hello, Marie." I greeted her.
"I can't believe they're keeping you in here!" she stammered, looking around my cramped cell sadly. I shrugged at her while sitting on my bed.
"So, tell me something," she began silently. "Is it true? About the voices?" She stared at me in a way that she'd never done before. This time with far more attention to detail as if she expected to see signs of mental illness on my face.
I like Marie, but she's such a complete and utter moron. Cynicism muttered.
"Very."
"Oh my God! I'm so, so sorry!" she cried, looking devastated.
There she goes again, apologizing for nothing. Cynicism commented.
I rolled my eyes. "Don't be. I'm alright. Unlike many, I'm able to go about my life just fine."
"But…" she mumbled. "But what if it gets worse?"
"Then it just does. I don't like wasting my time on what if's." I sighed. "Marie, I'm sorry."
I had quite a bit of time to think about things while I was in the cell.
"What for?"
"I was a bit harsh with you earlier. It wasn't fair. I may have been angry at the time, but it still wasn't right of me to lash out like that."
"It's cool," she said, thrown off guard. "Ya know… I was actin' a bit mean too."
I nod. "I can't wait until my father gets me out here."
"Then what?" She asked.
"Oh the usual."
"More killing?"
"Those who deserve it, of course," I said before grinning. "Though it seems my father's doing a great job on doing that on his own at the moment." She blanched a little.
"ah," she said before coughing. "Though ain't it a bit scary?"
"Killing or him?" I asked, one eyebrow raised.
"Both," she said nervously.
"If you don't know him he's scary. Killing is not frightening at all. It's actually quite easy when you get used to it."
"I don't think I ever want to, though," she said with an awkward smile.
"Understandable." After all, I'd felt the same only a few months ago.
"So… I heard about the fact that you're giving the others a hard time."
"Not my fault it's child's play," I smirked.
"Do ya at least mind tryin' their medication and stuff for me?" She looked at me with her Big Brown Puppy Dog Eyes Look™.
"Is that you speaking, or..." I trailed off.
"Of course it's me speaking you idiot! I don't want to lose you!" she cried, waving her arms around.
"I see," I said, sensing that she wasn't lying. "Hmm, I'm not taking any medication."
"Chris!" she yelled again.
I crossed my arms in front of me. "That's final, Marie! I don't want it. I don't need it. And I sure as hell don't trust Charles Xavier."
"But-"
"If it gets too bad, I'll be sure to get help. But not here." I smiled. "Relax, Marie. At the rate my father's killing people, I doubt I'll be in this place in longer than a week."
"You sound like you're happy 'bout that," she accused.
"I am. I'm getting out." I decided not to take offense. She didn't know better, after all. She had been with Xavier for so long. Enlightenment doesn't happen overnight.
"But... Loads of people will die!"
"I probably would have ended up killing them myself anyway," I shrugged. She was silent.
"Well, looks like it's lunchtime," she said suddenly. She said not looking at a watch of any kind.
"See you. And when Watts shows up, do me a favor and bring him down here, please," I said with a smirk.
"Watts?" she asked, confused.
"Beagles are hunting dogs with good noses. I wouldn't be surprised if he showed up here."
I did tell her he was originally being trained as a hunting dog.
"Kay..." She said, obviously not believing me. Perhaps she realized that I was a bit crazy after all. She left.
"All right, Doctor." I said, looking at where I knew was a camera. "A deal is a deal." The door opened and Doctor Jean Grey entered.
"I'll start with something simple a complete the sentence problem." Jean said holding a clipboard.
I reclined on my bed looking every bit the stereotypical psychiatry patient.
She said looking at her papers "Peace is..."
"Nice but short-lived."
"War…"
"Sometimes makes perfect sense."
"Humans are…"
"Unfortunately, trying to kill mutants at the moment," I said with a small smirk.
"Killing…"
"Should be done when necessary."
"Killing is necessary when…"
"I am, or anyone else is, in danger."
"My voices in my head are.."
"Great," I said before grinning. "Hilarious, even."
If somehow possible, the doctor became even more disturbed. She wrote down something before flipped over a page.
"How many voices are in your head?"
"One hundred, give or take."
"One-" she sputtered, mask broken for a moment. "One hundred?"
"Yeah but most are pretty quiet. There's the big three. Erm. They're pretty chatty, I suppose."
"Big three?"
"Rebellion, Logic, and Cynicism." I said, counting on my fingers. "Optimism pops up around from time to time, but no one likes him because he's stupid."
Hey! Optimism shouted, waving a fist.
It's true. You're a bit of a pansy. Rebellion sneered.
But, but... Logic does all the work around here and all you and Cynicism do is complain! Optimism croaked.
Yeah, but at least it's funny when we do. Cynicism told him.
Plus, you're totally weak. When was the last time the kid's actually been influenced by you? Oh, yeah! Never. Rebellion snarled. And hey, correction? I do work. Where do you think all that fighting came from? Nowhere?"
And now you're admitting you're a violent maniac. But I'm still the uncool one here? Optimism muttered.
Yup. Pretty much. I thought. Don't blame yourself. You're pretty much my opposite. Of course they hate you.
Out in the real world, Dr. Jean was staring at me. I'm sure she saw how my lips were moving ever so slightly. Once I was done done she asked, "Stupid? So these voices, they do things?"
"Yeah, for instance, Optimism likes to binge on sugar. And when that happens…" I smiled. "Well, it's never good."
We talked on and on about the extremely complicated maze that is my mind.
"So, you don't have dreams?"
"No. I'm always very aware of time passing in my mind."
"That sounds exhausting," she laughed.
"Imagine nightmares in real time."
She froze, a sad look coming to her face. "Oh. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. It's my life. It's completely normal for me, all of it." I couldn't understand why she felt bad for me. I electrocuted her! I could have killed her. And yet...
"And you don't want to change?... I understand that, Chris, but you should know that these voices in your head are ticking time bombs. Whatever company you derive from these voices should be gotten from real kids your age." she then left.
Sometime later, I heard of pair of wheels approach. I looked up from my book and saw the Professor outside my cell.
"I see Dr. Grey finally got a word out of you," the Professor said, rolling in.
"You're a brave man. You do realize that the only thing that stopped me from killing you was the fact that you're my father's friend, right?"
"I understand."
"Why are you here, Xavier?" I asked, frowning.
I glared at him but only minutes later…
We were playing chess in the room.
"Are you stupid or crazy?" I asked suddenly, putting down a pawn.
"I'd like to believe I'm neither," he said, smiling as he observed the situation on the chess board.
"You came in here after I simply promised not to kill you. Such a foolish thing to do," I said, shaking my head. "So, which is it?"
"Considering the fact that I willingly live with 50 teenagers at a time, I lean towards the latter." I smirked at this. "I came in here because I know you wouldn't kill me. You're a good person, even if you work for Magneto."
"Just not good enough for you let me leave," I mocked.
"Your father is hurting you by using you in this war. Even if we forget about your homicidal tendencies, I still can't let you go back to such an unhealthy situation," he said, moving a knight.
"My father has me do more than chase girls and play video games, you know. Oh, how neglected I am!" I laughed while boiling inside.
Neglect? My father has allowed me to unlock my potential! I've learned so much because of him. I would've had to drop out of college to take care of Mom. I would have had no one to keep my powers in check and would been kidnapped and, at best, killed, at worst, used to kill my own people.
Xavier, you know nothing.
He tsk-ed, a eyebrows raised. "You're not chasing any... Marie for example. What about her?" I laughed again.
"Not a chance," I snickered. "It's called a platonic friendship. You do know what that is, right?"
He hummed, obviously not believing me.
Why do people believe that boys my age aren't capable of having a platonic friendship with a girl?
"How long have you had your powers?" he asked. I tried to look as if I hadn't noticed his 'smooth' fishing for information.
He's such an unsympathetic man when you see through his ooh-look-at-me-I'll-save-everyone-facade.
"A bit less than a year."
He stared at me, wide eyed. My father wasn't capable of manipulating electricity until his 50's and yet, I had learned how in less than a month. And please note he'd never actually taught me how. I spied on him around the house and tried to replicate it.
I was a prodigy. My powers came to me with ease. Still, I wouldn't have known it. My father adjusted my training that it would be hard even for me. He believed that telling me I was gifted would cause me to either slack or become arrogant.
"You must have had a rather strict teacher. I've never known Erik to be lenient."
"Nope," I said, moving a rook. "But it gets results, that's for sure."
"I take it you approve, then?"
"Of course."
"It seems you want nothing more than to be just like him."
"Who wouldn't? My father is a great man," I said, trying to smile despite my anger. "Plus, what we are doing will change the world for the better."
"And the emotional trauma from all this warfare?" he asked, moving one of his bishops. I smirked.
"A risk I'm willing to take. I'm willing to pay any price to achieve our goals."
"You mean your father's goals," Xavier argued.
I could feel the not so hidden condescension that he couldn't help but send. He'd not see me as an equal. Not while he was several times my age.
"Think what you want Xavier," I said before moving a chess piece. "Oh look at that? While you were talking to me, I put you in check." I grinned and toppled his king. "Always think long-term, Xavier."
He left, a bit frustrated at my win.
Say what you want, Xavier, but my Father will get me and soon, you will pay.
I think it was a day later when I heard strange noises coming from the speaker in my cell.
"Wait- What are you doing? Where are you going with that?" The person in question was Doctor Jean. I looked up from the book I was reading, confused.
"Oh, this is my friend's puppy. He snuck inside! Such a good boy, aren't you?" A familiar voice cooed. "Look at him! He's so cute!" Realisation hit me. I smiled. It was a long shot but I may have a chance..
"He is… What's your name little fella?" The doctor asked.
"Woof! My name is Watts. I'm the best boy ever," Marie giggled. "I'm gonna give him to Chris. What? It's his puppy."
"I can't allow that! What are you- Oh, come on, don't give me that look!" Doctor Jean said.
"I'm not going to harm my dog, Doctor, but it's good to know you still think so low of me," I smirked.
There was a shocked silence.
"Fine," the doctor relented.
Now, the moment of truth. To be honest, this relied more on Marie than me.
"You ain't gonna be puttin' mah baby in no metal detector!" Marie's voice screeched through the speaker. I could just imagine Marie holding the dog close, glaring at Dr. Grey as if she had suggested skinning the animal alive.
"He'll be fine." The doctor tutted.
"How do you know that? You're a human doctor. You see how high powered that thing is."
Jean was silent. She knew that adverse effects were possible but didn't say say so. Maire caught on to their lie.
"You know bad stuff could happen! You know it could!" I smiled, thinking of how my training her in lying had paid off. "Plus, he's got nothing but a collar on. And its plastic! Feel it."
"Rogue, I'm just not supposed to make exceptions."
"Use sense, Ms. Jean, please. This baby came all this way and it ain't because Chris has an evil way to kill us all!" I almost laughed as I imagined the sour face Dr. Grey must've been making.
She sighed. "Fine. But he goes in through the tunnel. I won't have him wandering in the lab. If he, by chance, does have metal it won't matter anyways." Marie whooped before going back to baby-talking Watts. "But! If this all comes crashing down on us it's your responsibility!" Dr. Grey said sternly.
And so, they let the puppy into the horizontal tunnel where they gave me food. The dog rushed in. He patted over, not caring about the lack of ground below him.
Thank goodness Beagles do nothing but follow their noses.
We embraced and I was engulfed in a flurry of licking. So, so much licking.
I smiled "Thank you Doctor for seeing reason." I placed one hand on the beagle while the other rested on his collar and in a flash pressed a small almost invisible button.
I'm going to need to give him so much bacon for this.
He looked at me as if to say "yeah you are".