CHARMED

"The Key to Ultimate Power"

by shel

© april 2006

disclaimer: the charmed ones, cole, and leo, and the rest of the cast of characters we've come to know and love, belong to spelling television, inc. and possible other copyright holders. i intended no true infringement on their copyrights; i only wanted to borrow these marvelous characters for a short time in my own scenarios and hopefully return them no worse for wear; the only things i've gained from this story are the satisfaction and pleasure of having written it and in knowing that others may have enjoyed it too…

rating: pg-13

summary: phoebe's decision to research the christy situation involves a trip to her past…

timeline: the evening after the events of s8's 'engaged and confused'…

archive: please don't without expressed permission…

notes: minor references to s2's 'heartbreak city,' s8's 'hulkus pulkus,' and 'vaya con leos,' s7's 'seven year witch,' s3's 'all halliwell's eve,' and s4's 'long live the queen'…please let me know if you enjoyed my tale and why and, if not, why not…and, please, don't bother wasting your time or mine by sending any flames…

Part One

"You're trespassing," Phoebe warned without lifting her eyes from the page in the Book of Shadows. But almost immediately, she regretted her harsh tone and looked up at her visitor. She'd only known this particular Cupid for a few days but, despite his poor timing, she knew he meant well. He was a Cupid after all. "Sorry, Coop, it's been a long day."

"Weddings are pretty emotional events," he suggested as he observed the witch. "Can wipe out even a Cupid."

"You're kidding," her eyes widened with surprise and she leaned back into the attic sofa's cushions. "Who knew?"

"Cupids are all about love," he shrugged, "and love's a powerful emotion, especially at a wedding. It's not just the bride and groom, you know…it's everyone. And it's not just love, there's also much sadness, sometimes even bitterness. Weddings can be hard on a Cupid, particularly a newbie."

"I didn't realize," Phoebe murmured before returning to her place in the Book. "Too much for you, huh…"

"For instance," he continued, ignoring her tease, "yesterday, Paige and Henry were radiating sheer love and happiness. Their feet probably never touched the ground and that had nothing at all to do with your kind of magic. Everyone who witnessed those solemn and loving vows, surprised at attending a wedding instead of an engagement party, was truly happy for the couple and with the opportunity to share in the joy."

"But…" she prompted.

"But then we have you," he warily began.

Phoebe gripped the edges of the Book in her lap, "Are you saying I wasn't happy for my sister?"

"I'm not saying that at all," he quickly apologized. "I know how much you love Paige. And she knows it and feels the same towards you. But your loneliness was equally as strong, pulling at me just the same. And it wasn't all on Piper's behalf either. Piper was actually handling this wedding better than you and she's the one with the missing husband."

She'd heard enough and reminded him, "You're trespassing and I'm busy."

"How 'bout some company?" he offered instead. "I'm a good listener, could even introduce you to a few nice g--"

She held up her hand to stop him, "Look, Coop, I appreciate that you want to help make up for the Elders' interference in our lives but I've told you a hundred times already, I'm not interested in meeting anyone right now. If my life wasn't busy enough, we've also got our hands full with this big evil we're supposed to defeat so unless you've got some suggestions about that…"

He pointed to the small low table that displayed a small black cauldron and a variety of filled glass vials. "You think by researching on your own, you can spare your sisters from being hurt? That because somehow their lives are more fulfilled than yours, that because they've got others counting on them, you're the one who can afford to be sacrificed if necessary? You think you're being noble but --"

He was hitting too close to home and tears stung the corners of her eyes as she denied, "That is so not true!"

"Oh, you're brave," he corrected himself, "and no one denies the sacrifices you've made for the good of the world. But what you're doing here, alone in the attic in the middle of the night, you're not researching, you're hiding."

She focused on the page and spoke through gritted teeth, "You've got no idea what I'm doing."

"I know you're hiding your heart again," he gently accused. "You think if you concentrate on this great evil, you won't have time to deal with your loneliness or your pain. But, Phoebe, if you don't deal with it, I'm afraid…"

Her head snapped up from the Book and her tone was just as sharp, "What?"

He gazed sadly at her and took a moment before he replied, "The deeper you bury your heart, I'm not sure anyone, not even me, will be able to reach you to pull you out."

The retort she'd been about to make died on her lips. "You're really worried," she commented with some surprise.

"I don't want you to become one of the lost," Coop admitted. "My colleague told me to be kind and give you space but maybe I got too enthusiastic about my assignment."

Phoebe couldn't help but smile as she recalled her time with Cupid, "I sure gave him a run for his money. Good thing we helped him get that ring back or, never mind. Y'know, you're not so bad yourself. I really do appreciate the attention. It's just, I told you, I've got other things on my mind right now, more important things."

"Excuses," he uttered. "That's all they are. You can't hide your feelings from me, Phoebe. I know you feel love isn't worth the pain because of all the times it's let you down."

She tried to shrug nonchalantly, "I'm over that now. I gave love a shot and lost. Several times actually. End of story."

He dropped to one knee and placed his hands on hers that were still holding the Book of Shadows, "But see, it doesn't have to be the end. All you have to do is open your heart, just a little, Phoebe, and love will do the rest."

"I've heard this before," she gently told him as she set the Book to her side, "from my family, from that annoyingly lovable Cupid, and from some pretty special men, even a demon or two. And I think love is wonderful. Honest, Coop. I've seen it in my sisters, in my friends. I've seen it in my audience. And I've felt it myself. Love has made me the happiest woman alive and if you can really feel my emotions, you know I'm telling you the truth."

He rocked back on his heels, "Then why hold back now?"

"Because I'm tired," she confessed. "Because love has also given me the worst moments of my life and I'm not ready to go through all that pain again. I need to enjoy being Phoebe before I can even think of sharing my life again with som--"

As soon as she moved in order to rise, he grabbed her wrists to keep her in place and interrupted, "But you don't have to go it alone. And you don't have the time to try."

"You know about this evil, don't you," she suddenly accused.

"I can't see the future," he assured her, "at least not the way you mean."

But she was already riled and stood as she yanked her hands free, "I'm so sick of everyone knowing our future and leaving us to fend for ourselves. You want us to save the world but you won't lift a finger to help us."

"That's not true," he argued. "I am here to help you, Phoebe. Love is still in your future and that little girl is still waiting for you. You've had the vision, more than one. You've even talked to your future self and she assured you it would --"

"So?" she impatiently uttered.

"So," he urged, "you know it's real. It's, she's, your destiny."

"I know nothing of the sort," Phoebe hissed. "Some visions aren't meant to ever come true."

"This one is," he promised, "but it won't happen if you don't believe in love. And that won't happen if you close your heart to the world around you. Please, let me help you."

"I just moved into a new apartment," she testily informed him as she swiped the Book off the sofa and returned it to its pedestal, "to meet new people and have a life of my own. How's that closing my heart? Why don't you go back and tell the Elders that I'll open my heart the day Leo comes home. How 'bout that, huh?"

Coop watched her seethe and grew disheartened. How had the Cupids let her situation deteriorate to this point? "You're not ready yet. I'm sorry, Phoebe, I thought I could…" She didn't respond nor look at him and he sighed, "I won't be far away. All you have to do is call…"

Phoebe merely folded her arms across her chest and glared at him. It wasn't until a few minutes after he'd disappeared that she meandered back to the sofa and wearily sat down. "Dammit," she whispered. Coop had only been doing his job.

"Hey…"

Startled from her thoughts, Phoebe looked up to see her bleary-eyed older sister stumble into the room. "Didn't mean to wake you."

"'Sokay," Piper mumbled as she flopped onto the sofa next to her sister. "What're you doing here?" she yawned.

"Research," Phoebe admitted.

Piper opened one eye and peeked at her sister, "At this time of night?"

"I couldn't sleep," Phoebe shrugged. "With all the excitement over the wedding, we still can't forget about Christy."

Piper shut her eye again and sighed, "Billie's trying, we all are, but it's gonna take time to remind Christy how to be human again, to teach her how to fit in."

"Which we don't ha-- Look," she shifted position and faced her sister, "we know that Christy's the key to this whole big evil thing but we don't know what that means. We don't know why the Triad took her in the first place or whether the Triad will reform again or whether others will still come after her. And I can't…"

Suddenly more alert, Piper opened her eyes and leaned forward, "You can't what?"

"I can't…We're running out of time," Phoebe suddenly whispered. "I can feel it, Piper."

"Your power's back?"

Phoebe shook her head, "It's not empathy. It's," she stood and began restlessly pacing, "it's this feeling that, that things're happening too fast and I, I'm sorry, I don't know how to explain it but I know it's true. Time's running out. It's all coming together now and I'm not sure we'll have any control over what happens next."

"Everything happens for a reason," Piper murmured. "Billie coming into our lives…finding Christy….the Triad…"

"Losing Leo…" In frustration, Phoebe blew some hair from her face and stopped in front of her older sister. "The Angel of Destiny told us next to nothing about this evil and, after what they did to Leo, I don't have much faith in the Elders."

"So wha'd'you suggest we do?" Piper asked. "It's not like we've got other sources that can help with this."

"Remember that Halloween when we were thrown back in time?" Phoebe countered. "Remember how helpless we felt to rescue Charlotte because we didn't have the knowledge we needed?" When Piper warily nodded, Phoebe tried to smile confidently, "I'm gonna make sure we get the knowledge we need now. It might be the most important tool we'll have to fight this evil. The answers are out there, we just have to find them and connect all the dots."

Piper indicated to the vials she'd spotted on the table, "You made an all-knowing potion?"

Phoebe smiled for a second or two before she shook her head, "Not exactly."

Piper frowned at her sister's deliberately vague answer, "Phoebe, what've you done?"

Phoebe went to the table and picked up an envelope that was next to the cauldron. After a moment's hesitation, she carried it back to her sister, "Don't open it yet…"

Now terrified of what Phoebe wasn't saying, Piper stood and shoved it back at her sister, "I won't let you."

"Won't let me what?"

"Do whatever it is you're planning," Piper anxiously declared. "I'm not about to lose another sister." And before Phoebe could say a word, she pointed at the envelope, "That's a goodbye letter. God, if I hadn't heard the floorboards creaking… How could you think of leaving like this!"

Phoebe immediately pulled her resistant sister into a hug, "I love you, Piper, but we need help. We need answers and information and I'm the only one who can get them."

"Paige and I --"

"Paige is enjoying a few days of honeymoon bliss," Phoebe argued, "and you have to consider Wyatt and Chris. It has to be me." She kissed her sister, "If all goes well, I'll be back long before morning and you won't even have to open it."

Piper glanced down at the envelope clenched in Phoebe's hand and her voice cracked, "And if it doesn't…"

Phoebe squeezed her sister tighter before pulling back, "You need to go back to bed while I need to concentrate…" She gently shoved Piper towards the door.

Piper turned in the doorway, "Phoebe, please, I love you and I don't want to lose you. Wait a few days until we can talk to Paige. Together we'll come up with something."

Phoebe gave a quick peck to Piper's cheek, "I'll be back before morning." And with Piper still standing there, Phoebe closed the door and locked it. She faced the empty room, took a deep breath, and then she got to work.

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