Part Six

He saw her standing by the window seat and stepped through the doorway. She seemed so lost and he was afraid he was too late despite what Piper revealed. And, as he carefully closed the door behind him, he realized he had no idea how to begin. "Hey…"

Phoebe's breath caught in her throat when she heard the soft click of the door and the sound of his voice but she couldn't turn around. "Hey," she responded in a croaked voice.

"I can't stay long," he quietly said as he remained in his spot by the door.

She nodded, "I know…" Slowly, she turned around but she couldn't bring herself to move towards him. "I didn't know about limbo…"

"In a way you did," Cole told her. "There was that one moment."

She closed her eyes when she immediately knew which moment he spoke of and she brought the image to her mind, "I thought…I thought I sensed you but I knew it was impossible. You were gone."

"I am, Phoebe."

She opened her eyes and, in a quivering voice, asked, "Are you real?"

"Am I real meaning at this moment? Yes, I'm right here." And he took a step towards her. "But am I real meaning can I stay? No, Phoebe, I can't."

Unknowingly, she took a single step towards him too. "Why didn't you tell me when you realized where you were? I would've tried to --"

He held up his hand, "No, Phoebe, you couldn't. You were still hurting, still angry and resentful. You needed time, the time I didn't give you before I was vanquished."

She immediately looked down at the floor, "I'm sorry."

Cole took a small step towards her, "It wasn't your fault."

She looked up and met his gaze, "Wasn't it? Even though it was over, I wanted things to be good between us and when you needed help, I should've been more supportive."

"I was beyond help by that point," he quietly admitted. "Phoebe, you were in pain and I was already lost. The only person who could've stopped my descent was me and, in a way, that's exactly what happened."

"You were in pain too," she argued, "and I hate that I didn't let myself see."

"You did see," he said, "but I kept pushing at you because I was desperate and that pushed you further away." She was about to protest and he shook his head, "I was, Phoebe. I was desperate and obsessed with making you see what I saw."

"I knew you loved me, Cole," she shrugged helplessly, "and I loved you too. That was never the problem."

"No, it wasn't," he agreed, taking another small step. "But I didn't understand the rest of it until it was too late."

"Me either," she softly confessed. "I was in pain for so long, Cole. And even when I found love again, it was never the same because of that fear, that fear that something terrible would happen and I'd be left alone. Truth is, I think I see now how I was the one who sabotaged each of those relationships."

"You didn't --"

"I did," she interrupted. "I didn't trust in their feelings for me because I didn't trust in my own feelings. It's no wonder Coop's so worried about me closing myself off from love."

"There was one, though," Cole suggested, "one who nearly broke through that protective shell you created."

Phoebe smiled wistfully, "Drake…He came along at a time when I…That, that was you, wasn't it? You sent Drake?"

"He seemed to be a perfect match," he replied, "everything you could've wanted in a mate. I'm sorry about the timing."

Phoebe was silent a moment and watched him. Even without her empathic powers, she'd been pretty good at reading him and she knew, without a doubt, he was utterly sincere. Cole had guided someone, someone he thought she could love, into her life and had regretted the way she'd lost him. "Thank you, Cole…Drake was, he was pretty special. And maybe, maybe if we would've had more time…"

"He loved you, Phoebe," Cole pointedly stated, "and if he could have stayed…"

"Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you let Piper tell me?"

"Piper didn't say one way or the other what she would tell you," he responded, "but I didn't think it was a good idea to say anything so I didn't suggest it. The whole purpose of saving Piper was to help you move forward, not backward."

"Didn't you think maybe I needed closure?" she asked a bit bitterly.

About to step closer, Cole stopped and remained where he was. "I didn't want to reopen old wounds and after what Piper went through I wasn't sure you'd appreciate my involvement."

"I wish you would've said something. I wish Piper would've said something."

He shook his head, "It wouldn't have changed anything. I'd still be there and you'd still be here."

She looked back at him with tears welling in her eyes, "But maybe…"

"No maybes, Phoebe," he spoke firmly, "I'm where I'm supposed to be and you're where you're supposed to be."

Her voice cracked, "What's it like?"

"Honestly?" He waited for her reaction and sighed, "It's peaceful. I'm not torn anymore. I've got a clear idea of who I am and what I want to do, what I need to do."

She took an unsteady step closer, "Isn't it lonely?"

He couldn't lie to her, "Yes, it is." When she hung her head, he quickly added, "But I've accepted it, Phoebe. And I'm not always alone. I hear the calls of souls in trouble and I interact with them. And sometimes, if I fail, I pass them as they wander through limbo."

"But it's not the same, is it?" She raised her eyes to glance at him, "You heard Piper's calls?"

"And Leo's," he confirmed. "And…yours."

She swiped at a tear that fell from her eye, "I'm sorry, Cole. Sorry for your pain and for not understanding when you counted on me." She wanted to go to him and throw her arms around him but couldn't get her feet to move. "I'm sorry we didn't have the time to recover from our mistakes before it all went wrong and I'm sorry you're suffering now."

"I'm not --"

"You're alone," she nearly cried, "for eternity! How can that be a just punishment for whatever evil you did? What about all the good you did? Doesn't trying to overcome your demonic nature count for anything?"

"Of course it does," he smiled, "why do you think I'm in limbo? Phoebe, I tried to recreate the world and was vanquished there. By all that's logical, I shouldn't exist anywhere, much less limbo."

"That's supposed to make me feel better?" she sniffled.

"It should," he chuckled before somberly adding, "Phoebe, I'd much rather be in limbo where I can still try to atone for the pain I'd caused for over a century. I've been able to help souls find their way and --"

The words burst unexpectedly from her lips, "Can you ever forgive me?"

Cole ached to hold her but was afraid of what might happen given her emotional state so he remained glued where he was as he replied, "On two conditions."

Not what she was expecting to hear, Phoebe looked at him startled, "I don't understand."

"One," he raised his index finger, "you forgive me in return." He watched the tears fall from her eyes as she quickly nodded. "Then, two, tell me why I'm here now."

Again, taken aback, Phoebe sniffled and admitted, "I don't know. Honest. I didn't even know you still existed until five minutes ago. And that was to find out you were in limbo where you have to be dying to get int-- omigod, am I dying? I can't be dying! Not now, not when I --"

"Slow down," he held up his hands, "you're not dying, Phoebe. But I was pulled here tonight by the call of a soul and it wasn't Piper's and I'm not so sure it was yours either."

Phoebe gasped, unwilling to believe what he was hinting at. Cole couldn't know about the baby. But she caught his gaze travel down to her abdomen and she brought her hand to it as her eyes met his. "I'm pregnant, Cole. I'm pregnant with your daughter."

He heard the words but couldn't believe them. "What did you say?" he whispered.

Her hand nervously rubbed the area as she repeated, "I'm pregnant. We're going to have a little girl and she'll be so beautiful, Cole. She'll…" But thinking of that vision only made her fears about the baby that much stronger and she hugged herself as she started to cry, "I can't do this…I can't…I can't have this baby…"

Cole moved quickly and caught her as she sank to her knees. He wrapped his arms around her and tried to soothe her, "It's okay, Phoebe, it's okay…"

"No it's not," she sobbed. "I want this baby. I want this baby more than anything." She lifted her chin up to look at him, "Especially now, especially when I know you're her daddy. But I changed everything, don't you see…"

When she broke off in fresh tears, he tightened his arms around her and began to rock her gently.

"Don't you see," she repeated in a choked voice, "don't you see, Cole? I'm carrying the next Source! This baby, this baby, she's your heir who'll know no rival, remember?"

He froze. He'd been so caught up in discovering she was pregnant that he hadn't questioned how she'd gotten that way. "That night?" He felt her nod but he still couldn't move. He'd been the Source when this baby was conceived. No wonder Phoebe was terrified. Finally, he gently pushed her back so he could focus on her, "It's different, Phoebe. She won't be raised in the Underworld."

"Technically…" Phoebe sputtered before burrowing as close as she could to him.

"Don't throw my words back at me," he teased, "you know what I mean. She'll be surrounded by good, Phoebe."

But she suddenly pushed herself free from his embrace and somehow got to her feet. She couldn't face him as she confessed, "I've already killed with her power."

Cole considered her comment as he also stood, "Somehow I don't think it was on an innocent or Piper wouldn't have greeted me like she did and I wouldn't be standing here talking to you."

"I don't understand," she said as she turned around.

He held out his arms to her and was relieved when she willingly stepped into them. "Piper apologized and I think forgave me. Either way, she was all set to call for me."

"Why?"

He kissed the top of her head, "For you. Guess she thought you needed me."

Phoebe nuzzled his chest, "I did."

He stiffened, "Pardon?"

"I did," she repeated before she gazed up at him, "I mean, I do. God, Cole, I thought I was over you. I thought I'd put you and that chapter of my life in the past. And I was doing great until Coop came along and I let him convince me that I was closing my heart again."

"Met the guy," Cole snorted.

"He means well," she chastised as she pulled away again and sat on the edge of the bed. "It was supposed to be a quick trip back to the past, y'know. Go back, get the answers about the Triad and Christy, and return. But it went wrong."

"Because I was the Source," Cole sighed.

She wanted to comfort him and tell him it wasn't his fault. "I was so scared of seeing you, period. It's one thing to relive memories or look at a picture but you were real, Cole, and I could talk to you."

He shook his head, "But you couldn't or you'd change the past."

She wiped away a stray tear, "And there you were, so concerned about me and about the baby. And I knew, I could feel, your love for me. You were the Source, how crazy is that?"

"I did love you," he reached out and caressed her cheek, "I still do. Maybe even more than I did before because now I know and understand what I've lost."

"Cole, I…"

"It's okay, Phoebe," he assured her with a smile, "you don't have to say it. I don't need to hear the words."

"But maybe I need to say them," she declared as she stood toe-to-toe with him. "You have to know, Cole. You have to know that I…"

Afraid to move, he waited.

Tears fell quickly now and she reached up to trace the contour of his chin, "I love you, Cole. I always have. But I had to bury it because I couldn't deal with the pain. And I'm so sorry. That wasn't fair of me, I didn't --"

Cole framed her face between his two hands as he bent his head, "I'm sorry, Phoebe. I never wanted, never meant, to hurt you."

Suddenly a golden glow emanated from within Phoebe and formed a bubble around them. Her legs wobbled and she clung to Cole as he guided her down on the bed. Weakened slightly, she snuggled into his side and watched as he tested the shield by bringing a finger to it. "What is it?" she whispered when his finger was met with tiny colorful sparkles.

"Something familiar," he murmured before a grin slowly spread across his features. He turned to gaze at her and lightly brushed his finger across her lips, "Close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling."

"I don't have empathy anymore," she shook her head. The golden bubbled shimmered brightly and she felt another drain of energy and she closed her eyes with a tired sigh, "Fine, whatever…" But after a moment, she opened her eyes wide in amazement and her eyes welled again with tears as she gazed back at Cole.

"I think we know who called me tonight," he softly told her.

"She can't keep us in a magic bubble," she sadly declared. "Didn't we learn that the hard way?"

"It's her way of letting us --"

"It won't change what has to happen," Phoebe tearfully interrupted. "You're leaving and she'll be --"

"Innocent!" he angrily stated as he suddenly sat up and burst the bubble with a muted pop. "She's an innocent, Phoebe."

"But the flame-throwing," Phoebe protested as she leaned forward on her elbow. "What about that?"

Cole quickly knelt before her, his angry outburst fading, and he reached for her hand as she sat up, "It's a power, Phoebe, no more evil than premonition or levitation. You'll teach her how to use it for good. You and your sisters."

She couldn't meet his gaze, "How can you have such faith in me to raise her right? After all the times I've screwed up…"

"Because you had such faith in me," he immediately told her. "Because even when I was the Source, you stood by my side and defended our love. And because if you really believed, deep down, that this baby was the next Source, you would have already vanquished it."

"I couldn't," she whispered, "because…"

"Because you wanted to believe she was good," he finished for her.

Phoebe leaned forward into his arms and added, "Because maybe she's the one thing, the only good thing, that will come from all of the pain." She buried her face in his neck and kissed him, "Because everything happens for a reason and maybe, maybe, she's the reason you had to become the Source."

Cole hugged her even tighter and could barely find his voice to agree, "Maybe she is…"

"I don't want you to go…"

He almost didn't hear her plea, muffled as it was against him. "I don't want to go either," he admitted. "But I have to."

"I know," she sniffled as she finally pulled back. "And I know you're watching me."

"Both of you," he corrected as he hesitated from touching her abdomen. To his surprise, Phoebe guided his hand for him and pressed hers on top of his. "Always," he added in a choked voice.

"Thank you," she whispered, "thank you for loving me and for giving me our daughter."

"Thank you for loving me," he echoed with a light kiss to her lips, "and for giving me our daughter."

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"Hey…" Phoebe quietly greeted with a knock on her sister's open bedroom door.

"Hey," Piper uttered in surprise as she quickly set aside her novel and held her arms open to her younger sister.

Phoebe eagerly accepted the hug and squeezed her sister tightly, "He's gone…"

"He'll be back," Piper declared.

"I…I hope so…"

"Trust me, I'm your big sister," Piper stroked Phoebe's back, "I know what I'm talking about." Phoebe didn't answer and Piper simply held her sister and rocked her long after Phoebe fell asleep in her arms.

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