Right Out of a Hat
When Tsunade gets drunk, she decides that our favorite ninjas should finally get a lovelife. Will these awkward pairings ever get off the ground? Or will they change unexpectedly?
Thinking
"Yelling"
Alrighty then! One last thing. In this story, Haku is a GIRL! G-I-R-L! For the sake of this story's plotline, "SHE" is a GIRL! Good, now that we have that settled...
A.N: Right now, they're all about 15 or 16 years old. Sorry that I forgot to mention that before. But yeah, this takes places after the 3 year interval.
On with the story!
Chpt 4: Of Arcades, Jacuzzis, and Martini Stands! (Part 1)
…………………………
Everyone filed a lawsuit against the captain for endangering their lives, but then he told his sad tale about his starving family, and all was forgiven. So instead of being brought to court, the captain only has to pay a five dollar fine. How nice of our favorite ninjas to let him off easy!
…………………………
The inside of the cruise ship was humungo! I mean, it was so big, I had to make up the word 'humungo' to describe it! Everyone lugged their bags through the extremely humungo, and carpeted, hallway when a member of the crew came strolling by with a huge trolley.
"Welcome aboard the, newly named, Shizune's Ramen Raft Sailboat Extravaganza!" He exclaimed, putting on a cheery smile and spreading his arms wide. "Well, it used to be called the Floaty Boat, but that is no more. My name is Jeff. I came here for work from America!" Yet again, this 'America' place came up again. Would it haunt them for all eternity?
"Here, let me take your luggage." Jeff scooped the luggage out of their hands and dropped it on his trolley. "Now, if you all follow me, I will show you your rooms." Everyone trotted to keep up with Jeff, who was able to walk very fast even with the large amount luggage. He pushed open a large door, and they entered another hallway with a number of doors on either side.
"Hey!" Sakura yelled, "There's only ten rooms!" Jeff stared blankly at her. "Uh, hello? There are 20 of us in total here!"
"Oh!" Jeff cried out, scratching his head and laughing. "Your Hokage, Tsunade-sama, told me that you would be sharing rooms with one other person!" Right then, they all stared at him open mouthed, except for Shino, he didn't do anything, or so we think. "Lets see," Jeff said, pulling out a sheet of paper. "From what it says here, Ten-ten goes with Kiba in room number 2, Neji and Temari get room 3, …" Jeff continued to call out the doomed pairs, while tossing the matching luggage into different rooms.
"This is so not fair." Haku muttered under her breath while staring at Lee.
"Well, at least we'll be sleeping in separate beds." Kin said, who was having a staring match with the wall.
"Separate beds?" Jeff said, finally done sorting the luggage. "Oh no! You'll each be sharing a king size bed!" At that, there were huge outbursts from everybody there.
"THAT'S BULLSHIT!" Tayuya screamed. Chouji started eating his chips at high speed.
"How troublesome!" Shikamaru sighed. Hinata poked her fingers together furiously, if that's even possible, and was blushing a deep tomato read.
"I REFUSE TO SLEEP WITH A GUY THAT WEARS MAKEUP!" Ino yelled, pulling at her hair.
"AND I WON'T SLEEP IN A PIG STALL! WE'VE ALREADY GONE OVER THIS! IT'S KABUKI PAINT!" Ino and Kankurou soon got into a large argument with each other while everyone else kept on shouting.
"…" Shino shouted. Well, it's what he was implying that counts. Kin was crying anime tears and hitting her head against a wall, cursing her misfortune.
"YOU SLEEP ON THE FLOOR!" Temari yelled at a little chibi Neji who was cowering against a wall. Ten-ten was standing on the ceiling, quite noticeably far away from Kiba, and glaring at Temari for yelling at Neji. Kiba just stood there like a rock.
"CAN I SLEEP ON THE FLOOR?" Lee yelled, edging away from Haku who was looking very scary. Scary in the bad sense.
Naruto was rubbing his head and glancing nervously at Ayame who was doing the same thing.
Sakura was crying anime tears and punching a wall in fury. Gaara was clenching a fist of sand, trying not to do something very violent. Yey violence!
"Uh… hehehe…he…" Sasuke nervously laughed. Nina was holding the hilt of a katana in a death grip and slowly advancing on Sasuke, her eyes blazing with black flames. "Where did that katana come from?" Nina growled dangerously. "Alright! T-that's your business!" Sasuke was now backed up against a wall. "Listen, we can work something out, can't we? Please?" Nina twirled the blade around expertly around in her hand, and sent it flying at Sasuke's head. He ducked, and it flew straight over his head.
"Nice reflexes." She grunted. She placed her foot against the wall and tugged the katana out. "Next time, you won't be able to dodge it." She kneeled down next to him. "I'm sleeping outside in the hallway. Don't even come near me, or else." Sasuke nodded slowly, and she put on a false smile. "Good."
"Is everyone settled?" Shizune asked. "Great!" She said without waiting for a reply. "Now, Kakashi? Would you like to do the honors?" Kakashi poofed out of nowhere, holding large scroll.
"Ahem." He coughed, un-scrolling the scroll. "I have to read out this scroll Tsunade gave me. It says;
Dear everybody,
You are all partaking on a vacation that I have set up for you. Now, some of you may be wondering why! Well, by now, you are all mature teenagers and decent ninjas that I am very proud of. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that none of you have a love life whatsoever! I have taken the duty upon myself, and arranged this trip so that in the end, you all have a girlfriend or boyfriend!
I am sending along your Jounin sensei, except for Nina's, Haku's, Kin's, and Tayuya's, because Nina's sensei is out on a mission, Haku's sensei would technically be Zabuza and he's dead, Kin's sensei is Orochimaru and I can't have him accompanying you, and as far as I know, Tayuya doesn't have a sensei.
They are going with you to make sure that you spend every moment of this vacation with your assigned person. This is also to make sure that no ugly love triangles form. Trust me, love triangles are only a good thing in soap operas. Blah blah blah, in short, I expect you to fall in love and have a good time with it! See you soon, as new couples!" Kakashi finished, throwing the scroll over his shoulder.
Everyone groaned ALL AT THE SAME TIME! We all know that they were planning on just sneaking away instead of going through with this oh-so-queer punishment. But now since the senseis would be watching them, that would be impossible.
"Shizune, how much sake did it take for Tsunade-sama to come up with this idea?" Kakashi asked. Shizune, pondered for a little while.
"I think she came up with the idea after her 23rd bottle. Maybe it was 24, but, you get the picture. She's going to have some serious liver problems. Good thing she's a medic-nin!" Shizune said, pulling out a large box.
Kakashi reached into the box and pulled out a pair of handcuffs. He slapped one of the metal bands over Sasuke's wrist, and than placed another on Nina's wrist, who immediately tried to snap the cursed thing. "Now, these are specially made handcuffs that cannot be broken or taken off until the cruise is over. These are to insure that you all spend your quality time with each other!" Kakashi placed the handcuffs on everyone so fast that no one had a chance to escape.
"WHAT!" Everyone yelled. It was bad enough that Tsunade expected them to become couples, but being chained together was all too much.
"THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" Kiba and Ten-ten yelled. Kiba was hanging down from the ceiling by his handcuffs as Ten-ten was still standing on the ceiling. "WHY SHOULD SHE HAVE ANY SAY ON WHAT GOES ON IN OUR LIVES?" Kakashi shrugged.
"Well, I think you should all just go have a fun time. This ship is full of fun things to do!" Everyone still stared at him, mortified beyond belief. "No, you only have to get to know each other until we reach the island." Everyone sighed and walked out into the main part of the ship.
There were gasps of amazement all around. Yet again, I shall stress how humungo this ship was! They stood in the main lobby, and there were over twenty doors, all leading to different locations. Then, for the first time in history, Nina smiled, little stars shining in her eyes.
"No way…" She squealed, clasping her hands together. "They have A GAME ROOM! HOOOORAAY!" She ran through the door, dragging Sasuke along the ground with her. Naruto held his hand over his heart and looked sadly at the door in which Sasuke had been dragged through.
"Poor Sasuke. We knew him well." Funeral music began playing from a nearby speaker. "Oh, let's go to the kitchen Ayame!" He hopped gleefully towards the kitchen just like Nina had done, dragging Ayame along with him.
…………………………
Nina leapt into the arcade room happily. The arcade room was yet again, humungo! Giant arcade boxes lined the walls, and more games were scattered throughout the room. Sasuke carefully got up and winced. He had major rugburn from being dragged along the ground so much.
"They have everything I've always dreamed of!" She cried happily. "They have so many different arcade games! Look! They've got a Gamecube, an Xbox, Xbox 360, a PS2, even a PS3! Those aren't even on the market yet! Even all of the really old systems like the SNES, Nintendo64, Playstation! They even have all the handheld consoles!" She pointed towards a glass cabinet that held many different versions of Gameboys and PSP's.
Sasuke looked around, pretending to be interested so as not to incur her wrath. "You like video games?" He asked, trying to keep her from getting violent again.
"Like them? No…" She said, holding up her hand. "I love them!" She shouted, running towards a Tekken 4 machine.
Go figure. She runs straight towards a fighting game. Sasuke thought, watching her play as a knight with huge swords against some sort of leopard creature. He turned away and looked around the room. He had to admit, the sheer amount of games was astonishing. Must have cost a fortune! He saw a dark corner of the room, lit by only a flickering light. "Say, what do you think is over there?" There was a loud beep as Nina stabbed the leopard through the chest as her finishing move.
"Hmm, I'm not sure. Lets go check it out!" She ran off, this time, Sasuke kept pace with her so he wouldn't further irritate his rugburn. Under the flickering light, the words, Bend Room, were visible.
"What do you think's in there?" Sasuke asked. But Nina wasn't listening. She traced the words with her hands, staring at the door with awe. Her mouth moved up and down, but no words came out. "Are you alright?" Sasuke asked, afraid she might get violent again.
"Alright? I-I'm more than alright…" Her voice sounded somewhat shaky. "Is this what I think it is?" She grabbed the handle of the door and pushed it open. They took a step into a completely white room. Along the wall were a large number of white capsules with the words, Reality Bender, written in black on each capsule. "It is!" She gasped.
"What are these things? They look like giant medicine pills." Sasuke said raising an eyebrow. But Nina kept on ignoring him and placed her hand on the single, raised pedestal in the middle of the room. A touch screen popped into view on the flat surface.
"I just can't believe it! I heard they were working on this project, but I didn't think it would actually work!" She turned to Sasuke, amazement in her eyes. "You don't know what these are, do you?" Sasuke shook his head. "The Reality Bender is the most highly advanced RPG machine ever made. An RPG is a Role Playing Game if you didn't already know that."
"I know what an RPG is!" He said back stubbornly. In truth, he had never figured out what RPG really stood for. Sure, he had heard of it, but he thought it stood for, Romantically Portrayed Genera. (A.N: That last sentence will make more sense in later chapters.) "So what? It's just a game." Nina whacked him on the head.
"Just a game? What are you, stupid? Oh wait, let me answer that for you. Yes. You are stupid." She said, hitting him on the head again. "Geez, lowerclassmen are so naïve! Anyways, this isn't any normal RPG! It's the first ever virtual reality RPG ever! It taps into all five senses, and lets you enter a 3-D universe! It's not just an RPG either! You can use it as a fighting game too! When multiple people enter the one man capsules, you can either fight each other, or work together, depending on what mode you enter and what you decide to do." She kept on talking about a bunch of other things until Sasuke was bored to tears.
"Come on! Let's play! I have to try this out!"
"I don't want to. You play, I'll wait for you to finish." A lightning bolt struck in the background and her face was covered in shadows.
"Do you have a sudden death wish Uchiha?" She asked, looking violent. Again. You know, maybe Nina would have gotten along with Gaara better than Sasuke. Oh well! Sasuke's just going to have to deal with his rather violent fate. Fate. Hn. That's Neji talk. Maybe I should say something like; 'Sasuke's just going to have to deal with his rather violent 'future girlfriend'. Yeah. That way, it doesn't sound like Neji's taking over this fic.
Neji: You just wait. I will take over this storyline. I'll show you, I'll show you all!
Gohan209: I thought your main goals were to demolish the Main House and find a way to remove your cursed seal?
Neji: Well… Now I have three goals for my life! To take over this storyline and make myself not with Temari, to destroy the Main House, and to remove my cursed seal! Say, don't you have a story to write? Like, this one?
Gohan209: OMG! I totally forgot about the story! Thanks for reminding me Neji! (Glomps Neji to death) I wuv you!
Neji: Your name is Gohan209, and you just glomped me. I suddenly feel very sick.
Gohan209: I'm a girl, not a boy stupid! I just love Gohan from DBZ and decided to call myself Gohan209! And if you call me a boy again, I will throw you out a window. A 20 story high window!
Neji: 0.o' You forgot about the story again…
Gohan209: Eeeek! I did it again! Uh… where was I? (Stares at keyboard)
Neji: You were at the part where Sasuke is being threatened by Nina to play the Reality Bender game or die a horrible death.
Gohan209: Oh yeah! Thankee much!
"I-I'll play!" Sasuke insisted. "But how are we going to get in when we're handcuffed together?"
"Pft! No problem. I've already thought this all out!" She formed several hand seals and pressed her first two fingers on the chain. Instantly, the chain went limp. "It may not be able to break or be taken off, but I can make it stretch!" She walked over to a capsule, the chain stretching like a rubber band, and pressed a button on the side panel. The front of the capsule slid open and she stepped inside, the door shutting behind her.
Sasuke walked slowly up to one of the capsules and did the same thing. When the door sealed behind him, a small red light flickered to life on the ceiling, revealing a black chair built into the back of the wall. He sat down, and nearly scared to death when a mask was pressed over his face. He felt cold, metal wires being pressed against every inch of his skin, giving him goosebumps. A strange whirring sound emitted from a small vent in the mask, and a bad smelling gas poured in. Sasuke began struggling as his vision dimmed and the rest of his senses seemed to be sucked away. Had he made a mistake?
…………………………
Almost everyone else decided to go to the pool area. Why? I don't know! Why don't you go ask them yourself instead of asking me such a silly question? Anywho, yes they all decided to go to the pool area because they wanted to. However, they couldn't really swim since they were handcuffed together. They realized this after the incident where Kankurou and Ino drowned. Yes, they drowned. Yes that does mean they're dead! Usually, that's what 'drowned' means. You drown by breathing water and no air until you die. AARGH! STOP ASKING ME SO MANY QUESTIONS!
Neji: No one was asking you any questions.
Gohan209: Neji! This is the second time you've interrupted this chapter! Could you just shut up? (Neji walks away sadly) Honestly! He is so rude!
Then, a magical coconut wearing a lampshade was carried into the ship by a small sparrow. However, it must have been an African sparrow because an English sparrow is much too small to carry a coconut. But, African sparrows don't migrate, so maybe it was two English sparrows carrying the coconut on a vine… I love Monty Python and the Holy Grail! It's such a funny movie!
"I'm dying even as we speak!" The coconut cried out. Yes, I know coconuts can't talk, but this was a magical coconut! "Please, take my life and transfer it to one of them so that they can live on! The fate of the world rests on their shoulders!"
"It does?" Everyone asked the coconut.
"No, not really. But it sounds much more dramatic when I say that." Everyone nodded in understanding. "Now! Take my life and give it to either one of them so that they may live!"
"Wait, so you can only bring one of them back to life?" Temari asked, who was all for bringing Ino back. She didn't really like either Ino or Kankurou, but Kankurou just got so annoying sometimes! She liked him better off dead.
"Well," The coconut shrugged. No, I don't have any clue how a coconut could shrug! Just pretend it shrugged, alright? "You could sacrifice this here sparrow and bring the other one back as well." Ten-ten whipped a kunai out of nowhere and stabbed the coconut and the sparrow in one strike.
"Even while you're swimming, you're armed?" Kiba asked, now very frightened. "How are you able to store the weapons without a holster?" Ten-ten glared at him.
"I have my ways…" She said, staring at Kiba until he looked away. A ghostly light rose up from the husk of the coconut, followed by another light that rose up from the corpse of the sparrow.
"Thank you!" The coconut ghost said in a wavering voice. "And remember, beware the fatheaded fairies! They are eeeeeeeeeeevvviiilll! And somewhat stupid…" It cried as it zoomed off towards Kankurou's corpse. The ghost of the sparrow glared at Ten-ten for killing it and went off to Ino's lifeless body.
"Did it say, fatheaded fairies?" Temari asked. "Just what kind of garbage is that?"
"I assume that it means a fairy with a fat head." Kiba pointed out to her. Temari smacked her face and huffed.
"No really? I think I could figure that out."
"Then don't ask such stupid questions!" Kiba exclaimed. "God! If a magical coconut wearing a lampshade comes in and starts talking about fatheads, I don't think it will make any sense!"
"Wha happened?" Kankurou sat up rubbing his head. "Why do I suddenly have the urge for coconuts?"
"Can I fly?" Ino spread her arms and waved them up and down, apparently trying to become airborne.
"Lets see! No hollow bones, no feathers, no wings. Yes! Of course you can fly! Just jump up and down until it works!" Shikamaru said with more than just a touch of sarcasm.
"Since we can't swim, WOULD ANYONE LIKE TO COME WITH ME INTO THE JACUZZI?" Lee shouted, destroying more than just a few eardrums in the process.
"I don't want to go in the Jacuzzi." Haku muttered.
"YES YOU DO!"
"No. I really don't."
"YOU DON'T?" Lee shrugged. "TOO BAD FOR YOU!" Lee started off towards the Jacuzzi, an angry Haku in tow.
"Ooh! Me! Me! I wanna go in the Jacuzzi!" Ino ran at top speed after Lee, leaving flames in her wake. She burst through the doors, and saw that Haku was tightly holding onto a pillar, holding both herself and Lee away from the Jacuzzi.
"LET GO!" Lee yelled, struggling as hard as he could, trying to dislodge Haku from the pillar.
"I HATE HOT WATER! NO WAY AM I GOING IN THERE!" Haku yelled back at Lee, glancing nervously at the nearby Jacuzzi.
While Haku and Lee continued their struggle, Kankurou and Ino continued towards the Jacuzzi where Shino and Kin were in.
"Hiya! Mind if we sit here?" Ino asked cheerily.
"Yes." Shino and Kin said at the same time. "We do mind." Kin glared at them. Shino, uh… Shino didn't do anything. Why? Because he's too busy plotting to take over the world to show any sort of reaction. Completely ignoring them, they lowered themselves into the water anyways.
"So!" Kankurou said, trying a rather lame attempt at starting some conversation. "Do either of you like coconuts?"
"No." Kin glared even harder at them.
"…coconuts…?" Shino said, RAISING AN EYEBROW! Thank God! He does have some emotion in him! "…go away…"
"Yeah yeah Mr. Anti-Social. You don't have to hide it!" Kankurou chuckled and grinned. "I know you love coconuts!"
"…go away…"
"I have undeniable proof that you like coconuts Shino!" Kankurou grabbed Shino's hair with a hand. Shino immediately tensed up. "Your hair kind of looks like a coconut! Get it? It's spiky like the husk!" Shino slowly turned his head towards Kankurou.
"…my hair…"
"Looks like the husk of a coconut! See! I told you so!" Kankurou interrupted him.
"…you're touching it…" Shino continued. Shino's left hand shot out from the water and grabbed Kankurou's wrist, breaking his hold on Shino's hair. "…you were touching my hair…" He held out his right hand, letting bugs swarm out from along his arm. They flew the small gap and attached themselves to Kankurou's skin. Shino stood up quickly, dragging Kin and the now spastic Kankurou up with him.
"Don't ever touch the do!" Shino said, suddenly looking like someone from the age of disco. With the glasses, the hair, and the disco ball that randomly appeared out of nowhere, accompanied by music from Saturday Night Fever. Like I said, no one really understands Shino!
…………………………
Geez. I'm sorry I haven't been able to update in like forever. Now, here's the deal. I'm probably only going to be able to update my stories on the weekends this month. Why you ask? Well, it's that time of the year, and not just for me either. School is about halfway through, and guess what that means! Midterms are coming ever closer. I've spent the last week studying, and will probably spend my next few weeks the same way. This is worth 1/5 of my grade of this entire semester. But I promise. When midterms are over, updates will be made more frequently. Till then!