MISSION SPECS 05B: SALTING THE WOUND
Trowa tells me daily that I am the purest person he's met, but we know the truth. I see the guilt that haunts my eyes mirrored in his own. I feel his pain as deeply as I feel all of our pain, as deeply as I felt his fear of us. I ignored that fear...no. I used that fear, for the most demented reason in the world.
Because I enjoyed it.
And all because my paranoid delusions had me believing that one of my closest friends had stolen from me. A simple gold chain, worth much in cash, and more in memories, had set me off. A simple gold chain that I hadn't even noticed to be missing.
Allah forgive me, for I am a wicked person.
Every day I say this, for the deeds I have committed are too heinous to be real. I have carved passages of the Koran into the flesh of a man, then laughed at his pain as I peeled that flesh away. I have shoved salt into these hideous designs for no reason, except the excuse of justice.
Allah might have forgiven me for the things I did to the OZ soldiers. He might have forgiven me for the number of people I killed in the name of peace. He might have even forgiven me for taking a man as my lover. But he will never forgive me for the things that I have forced upon Duo.
Every night, I dream of that night we met with Relena. I see myself reacting to the hate that filled her heart.
"You are absolutely disgusting, all of you! He never did anything to you but try to be your friend, and how do you repay him? You torture him! You torture the only one among you worthy of being called brave, worthy of fighting for our cause.
"And you, Quatre. He told me about how you came on him while he bled. Of how you ground salt into his back and laughed. I used to admire you, Quatre, you and your 'purity'.
"You can only be considered tainted now, demonic. Inhuman."
Every night, I wake up with tears coursing down my face.
In the day, I go about as normal, as the CEO of Winner Enterprises Inc. should go about his business. I smile at the office parties, I mingle. I talk to Relena when she deems it necessary, but even if she smiles, her eyes remain cold. She hates me, hates us all.
She's right, I am tainted. I wonder sometimes if the fact that he had been Relena's brother would have made a difference. I wonder if we would have even believed him. We were so horrible to him, I'm amazed that he never tried leaving. (SS- Little do they know... dumbasses)
We all feel guilty. Wufei and Heero have this guant, haggard look about them, and I know that neither of them have been sleeping regularly. They both have a shrine of sorts to Duo. I used to think it was so they'd never forget him, but now I wonder if they keep it out of hope that he could be alive. It's always been a possibility, just not one that we ever expected. Those bombs demolished everything, took a good chunk out of that OZ building too.
But...
If Duo is truly alive... I pray that I will have a chance to see him again. If he never forgives me, fine. If he wished to do everything to me that I did to him, I'd let him. Knowing that he's alive would be worth it. As it stands, he is dead to my knowledge. Hopefully, Shinigami is somewhere better. Hopefully, his shade doesn't wander this world full of torment. Hopefully, he's at peace, be he dead or alive.
I don't think my mind would be able to handle it if he weren't.
END MISSION SPECS 05B
SS- Alright people, you wanted to know what they thought, so you got it; Quatre tells his sad little story, and now it's time for the real chapter to start.
Kali- If you were just interested in hearing about what the other pilots have to say, well, sorry.
MISSION SPECS 05: PERVERTS AND FREAKS GALORE
Duo stared really hard at the zombie in front of him; he cocked his head to one side, then to the other. Anita just scowled at the clients.
"We just raised a woman for no reason, is that what you're saying?" she demanded to know. Duo turned around to glare at the nerdy little man with the huge bodyguards. The little man, whose name was Ronald Quentin, just rubbed his glasses and smiled strangely up at Duo.
"Oh, no no no," Quentin protested, "I needed proof that a lycanthrope could actually be an animator, and one that's as powerful Anita Blake at that! Why, just look at this girl; with the exception of the bullet wound, she could be truly alive. It's remarkable!"
Duo edged towards Anita. "Uh...thanks man," he said with a jerk of his head towards the slightly shorter man. Did the man not know that staring was rude?
Quentin seemed to not notice Duo's actions and seized the were-leopard's hands in his own. "Now that I know what you can do, I simply must have you!" he exclaimed with a fervently adoring look in his eyes. "I'm something of a collector, you see, and you would be—"
"No." came the curt reply, not from Duo, but from Anita. She glared at Quentin, and pulled Duo behind her. This man was pushing all her buttons, and he wanted to collect her son! Not over her goddamn body!
"Oh, but Ms. Blake, surely this...extraordinary young man can make his own decisions, hmm?" the pervert tittered with a leer. His nervous laughter was cut short at the hostile glare thrown towards him.
"Sure he can, but as his mother, I say no way in hell. We're leaving now. If you or your goons follow us, you will all be singing falsetto for the rest of your lives." The goons backed off with wide eyes, because yeah, she looked that serious. Anita whirled around and stalked off, pushing Duo ahead of her. She continued to fume the entire ride back to their house, slamming doors and muttering about little perverts when she went to give Nathaniel his hello kiss.
Nathaniel arched a delicate eyebrow at Duo. "What gave her an early case of PMS?" he asked.
"Some..really freaky client told us that he wanted me to be part of his collections," he sighed with a shrug. He moved into the warmth that was Nathaniel, dropping his head so that it could rest on the older man's shoulder. Nathaniel smelled like vanilla and coconuts, like some sort of exotic dessert. More importantly, he smelled like home.
Nathaniel maneuvered them so that they could lie on the couch facing each other. They smiled at one another, Nathaniel chuckling softly when Duo yawned sleepily. "Go ahead and sleep, Duo-kitty. I'm watching you," he said softly. Duo smiled, placed a light kiss on Nathaniel's neck, closed his eyes and slept.
He woke up later, when he noticed that two powerful auras had entered the house, one of which was standing over him. He opened his eyes; Nathaniel had left, was talking animatedly to someone in the kitchen. Turning his head, Duo found that Asher was the one standing over him, smiling gently down at him. For some reason, the blond vampire wanted to protect him. It was a strange thing, but Duo didn't question it often.
"Hey there," he greeted the Master Vampire with a small yawn. "When did you and Jean-Claude get here— I'm assuming that he's with you and that I'm not imagining that powerful aura in the kitchen." He stretched, cat-like, before sitting up to regard Asher with sleepy eyes. He reached a hand up, and was pulled into a warm embrace; the vampire had fed before showing up.
"Non, mon cher, it is my Richard you sense." The pale-eyed vampire looked fondly towards the kitchen. Duo's face crinkled in mirth as he kissed the taller man's cheek.
"You know, I'll never understand how a man, who everybody told me was straighter than a pencil, fell in love with you," he chortled, "or how you managed to convince Jean-Claude that you weren't insane!"
"Didn't you know? Vampires are quite persistent when they really want something," Richard called as he strode through the kitchen door. His eyes lit up at the sight of his lover and a smiling Duo. He tore Duo away from his lover, engulfing him in a bear hug and tickling him while growling, "That's MY lover you're feeling up!"
"AHHH! AHH! OKAY, OKAY, HE'S YOURS! NO MORE!" Duo shrieked in the midst of his laughter. Satisfied that his point had been made, he tossed the braided man to Nathaniel, then swept his lover up into a passionate kiss. Asher pretty much melted into the strong warmth of his lover's body. Richard gave the finger as a response to the catcalls from Anita and her leopards.
Nathaniel grinned at Anita and Duo. "Alright you two, gimme my money!" he crowed. The two mentioned grumbled, fishing in their pockets for a twenty. How the hell had Nathaniel known that Asher was bottom? More importantly, did they really want to know how he knew?
"I saw them at the Circus," he whispered mischievously, "and it was getting caliente, when I closed the door, but you didn't believe me, and I now have forty dollars! Yay me!"
"Why you!—" Nathaniel had started running, so Duo gave chase. They laughed joyously together, neither one losing or gaining any distance. Duo gave a final burst of speed as they neared the living room for the third time and tackled the older were-leopard to the floor. They twisted and turned, wrestling and snarling in jest. Anita and Asher shook their heads in mock frustration when Richard howled.
"Knock it off, Richard, you're forgetting that you still haven't told Duo the news." Anita grumbled. At the mention of his name, Duo perked up.
"¿Que pasa?" Duo asked. "What news, is there going to be a fight? Tell me tell me tell me!" Everyone stared at him; he rubbed his head with a nervous laugh. "Maybe too much caffeine in one sitting...?"
"How much coffee have you had so far today, mon cher?" Asher asked suspiciously. Duo stared around the room at everything and nothing in particular.
"...between seventy-five and a hundred, but that's not the point! What's the news!"
"The news is, I finally understand why you're so short!" Richard snickered. Duo launched himself at the alpha with a growl as their friends laughed. This was something that happened fairly often in the Blake household. Predictably, he was caught midair and pulled into a headlock. "Okay! Okay! The news is that there are two new wolves in town, and I'm sensing some major guilt from them. They were asking about where they could find Anita."
Duo paused in his childish behavior of gnawing on Richard's muscled forearm long enough to ask why. Richard shrugged— or rather, tried to shrug without losing his hold on Duo. "They said that they wanted her to find a friend for them, or at least recommend them to a decent private investigator."
"Sounds suspicious," Duo relied sarcastically. "You can let me go now."
"Nope. You're going to try and attack me; this is preventative self-defense." Duo stopped squirming and tried to follow that logic.
"Be careful, mon chat, do not hurt that pretty head of yours," Asher snickered. Duo pouted.
"But that didn't make any sense! Anitaaaa!" They all laughed at him as he struggled in Richard's grasp, blissfully unaware as to what tomorrow would bring.
MISSION SPECS 05 STATUS: COMPLETE
SS/N- Wow, it's been a few months since I've updated, and you guys haven't killed me yet:Catches a flying shuriken and hands it off to Duo to put in the four foot high pile of weapons: Thanks for all these nifty gifts.
Kali- The subject that our dear authoress is avoiding is her habit towards writer's block when she's bogged down with work.
Athena- Quite sad really.
SS- Eh heh...Simple truth is that midterm and finals have come and gone, and I'm working on rehearsing lines and dancing for the Wizard of Oz play that my school is doing. :bows and holds up a sign up that reads 'I'M SORRY!' with a chibi author crying:
Duo-Yeah, whatever. Sure you are.
SS- Annnyhow, chapter six is being written as we speak. I won't be putting any review response up for awhile, but thanks to everyone who did...you know who you are, Tatsu-san!
And as a little incentive for all you with opinions, whose POV should go up next? Wufei or Trowa? Or should Relena get her share?
All- Read and review! Bai-bai-buu!
Shinigami's Sister