Disclaimer: I do not and will never own Card Captor Sakura.
The shell
She was beautiful.
Her family, her friends, her mother's coworkers, even strangers; they always told her she was gorgeous. She had flawless skin, pale and glowing. It looked soft to the touch. Her long glossy hair tumbled down her back in thick waves, always framing her face perfectly. Her eyes were a deep amethyst colour, a most unusual yet charming shade, and her lips were full and pouty. She was petite and thin, yet curvaceous, like Nadeshiko had been.
She was graceful
She moved with grace and ease, each of her movements controlled. She walked in beauty, light and flowing like the wind. Men and women alike would watch her as she went by, intrigued by such beauty and grace. She was the incarnation of elegancy.
She was talented.
She could sing. Her voice was light and melodious. They told her that she had the voice of an angel. She charmed the audience when she sang, bringing each single person with her into the melody. She could paint. She brought images to life with a few strokes of her brushes and pencils. She could sew. She drew and created clothes, creations that could be sold like those of designers, made with the utter care.
She was sweet.
She spread caring and tenderness to her loved ones, always ready to help, always ready to comfort. She gave freely to those that deserved and did not deserve it. Her heart was opened, read to accept everyone, rich and poor all the same. She did not judge those who were different. She smiled to everyone.
She was intelligent.
She excelled in every area. School was easy for her; History, Mathematics, Physics, Literature... She was amongst the best students of her school. Her grades were exemplary. She also had a vast width of knowledge. Her mother had made sure that her daughter get the best tutors in every field of study she found important, in addition to her schooling. She had read numerous books, often alone in her home, a solitary child.
She was rich.
Her mother owned one of the biggest and most successful businesses in Japan. She could have everything she wanted: the new clothes and shoes, the last beauty treatment, the new cars, the best teachers… She could have everything that struck her fancy, as crazy as it was.
Yet…
She was unhappy.
She used to be such a joyful child. Had it been pretending? Maybe, maybe not.
Even as a child, she had lived through difficult things.
Fatherless. She never knew her father and, when she had dared bring it up, her mother had always hushed her, telling her that it wasn't important, that her father was dead.
Alone. From the moment she had been born, she had been alone. She had had nannies and bodyguards, all females, of course, since her mother greatly distrusted men, something that had been partly passed on to her daughter. It hadn't been enough.
She was grateful though, she had had friends, one in particular, a girl like no other. That girl was made of sunshine and love, bringing warmth and compassion, making her feel not too lonely for once. There had been others, boys and girls from schools and children of her mother's associates. They had brought her joy too.
And later on, the girl, still growing into a woman, got broken. No one could stay innocent and happy all their life. So many things happened, too many to tell.
The pain ate at her slowly, gnawing at her soul.
How do I know, you wonder?
That girl was me. I am now naught but the shell of that woman, of the person she used to be.
Still beautiful.
Still talented.
Still intelligent.
Still rich.
Still unhappy.
Do not cry for her, nor for me, my loved ones.
It was also time for me to leave. A shell cannot live without a soul to keep it hoping, to keep it breathing, fighting, loving. To keep it living.
Goodbye
Tomoyo Daidouji.
September 12th, 2010