Right Out of a Hat
When Tsunade gets drunk, she decides that our favorite ninjas should finally get a lovelife. Will these awkward pairings ever get off the ground? Or will they change unexpectedly?
Thinking
"Yelling"
Alrighty then! One last thing. In this story, Haku is a GIRL! G-I-R-L! For the sake of this story's plotline, "SHE" is a GIRL! Good, now that we have that settled...
On with the story!
Chpt 9: First Night in the Cabins! Whoopdeedoo…(insert sarcasm here)
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Neji: Mmmm… This ham sandwich sure is Wilberlicious!
Temari: (Spits out sandwich.) Neji! That's horrible!
Neji: Get it? Wilber the pig from Charlottes Web? And we're eating ham sandwiches? Aren't I a genius?
Temari: You're a sicko!
Gohan209: Okay, I think I've dragged this thing out long enough. Exit! Stage left!
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The Shizune's Ramen Raft Sailboat Extravaganza let down its gangplank, and everyone ran out as fast as possible. The Jounin tried to leave, but were trapped by their students staring at them with puppy eyes.
"What?" Kakashi asked, looking confused.
"I SEE! YOU ARE ALL CELEBRATING YOUR YOUTH BY GIVING US THE OH SO YOUTHFUL PUPPY DOG STARE!" Gai declared in Kurenai's ear.
"GAI! I'M RIGHT HERE! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT!" Obviously being a hypocrite herself by shouting in his ear.
"LE GASP!" Gai slapped his face with his hands. "YOU HERITIC! I AM MITO GAI! I MUST EXPRESS MY YOUTHFULLNESS BY SHOUTING ABOUT THINGS THAT HAVE NO RELEVENCE IN YOUR LIFE WHATSOEVER!" (Come on, I mean like that turtle that turned up for one episode and we never saw ever again! That was completely pointless!)
"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto whined. "Please take them off!" He gestured to the handcuffs he was wearing.
"I don't know…" Kakashi muttered, scratching his chin. "I think they look cool." Everyone went from puppy dog face, to downright furious.
"WE HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!" They all screamed at once.
"Oh!" Kakashi exclaimed, having forgotten that minor detail. He reached his hand into his pouch on the back of his pants. "Let's see… Icha Icha Paradise volume one… Icha Icha Paradise volume two… three… four…" As Kakashi dug around some more, Asuma leaned towards Kurenai because he'd really rather not talk to Gai.
"How many of those books can he fit in that thing?" Kurenai shrugged in response. It was one of those mysteries of the universe that can never be solved. There are a lot of unsolvable questions in life, like: 'Why are we here?', 'Where do we come from?', 'Who can eat more, Chouji, or Naruto?', 'Why does Sasuke's hair look like a chicken's ass?', and, 'Why don't any of the Naruto characters wear socks?' Unfortunately, we will never know the answers to these things, so let's move on with life.
"Aha!" Kakashi pulled out the remote control. "Found it!" He frowned suddenly. "No wait, that's the Icha Icha Paradise with the remote control-like cover…" Everyone started shouting furiously. They really had to go! Now! "Ah! Here we are!" He pressed a big red button at the top left corner, and everyone's handcuffs clattered to the ground.
The Jounin gawked at the carnage their students (with the exception of several of them) had made as soon as their handcuffs were taken off. Over 30 pedestrians were thrown into the water, where the Shizune's Ramen Raft Sailboat Extravaganza promptly ran over them, and let their corpses get devoured by sharks just like Mr. Jenkins. Honestly, what's a few lives in the whole scheme of things? The Jounin shrugged and followed their students in a less frenzied manner.
"I'm gonna go check out the cabins." Kakashi said, waving goodbye to the other Jounin. Kakashi took a street that led to the left, while Gai, Kurenai, and Asuma continued in the direction of the bathrooms. Kakashi winced as he heard Gai bust into song.
"GLISTENING IN THE SKYYYYY! WITH DAAAAIIIMONDSSS! GLISTE-YEARGH!" Gai collapsed as Kurenai kicked him where the sun don't shine.
Kakashi shrugged at his 'eternal rival's' misery, and strolled onwards. Tilting his head towards the sky, Kakashi lazily watched a bird fly about in slow, winding circles. It was a nice, calm atmosphere, until someone shouted, "LOOK OUT!"
Kakashi brought himself down to Earth, just in time to receive a telephone pole in the face. Since he had been lost in thought, he obviously hadn't noticed the pole right in front of him. Pretty lights flickered in and out of his vision, making his head throb uncomfortably and his limbs twitch slightly.
A gentle hand on his shoulder made him turn around. A girl with dirty blonde hair, pulled back in a pony tail, green eyes, a tan tank top, green camouflage styled pants, and combat boots was staring at him with a concerned face.
"Are you alright?" She asked, easily lifting him up to his feet.
"Me encanta pollo con queso…" Kakashi gasped. He just said that he loved chicken with cheese in Spanish! "AYE NO!" Kakashi began to run round in circles screaming. "NO HABLO ENGLES! HABLO ESPANOL!" (I don't speak English! I speak Spanish!) Kakashi began to cry anime tears. "NO ME GUSTA HABLO ESPANOL PARA NADA!" (I don't like speaking in Spanish at all!) Meanwhile, the girl, whom we will call Georgette until we find out her real name, stood there, suppressing a giggle with her hand.
As Kakashi continued his roundabout rampage, Georgette innocently stuck out her foot. Kakashi, who was too busy whining in Spanish, tripped right over it, sending him flying into the telephone pole for the second time today. Kakashi rolled over and groaned as Georgette stood over him, her hands on her hips.
"Better now?" She asked.
"Hopefully…" Kakashi sighed, grateful that he was talking in good old English. In actuality, he would be talking in Japanese, but since I only know several words in Japanese, we'll just use our 'imaginations' to pretend that they're really talking in English. Now that we're all on the same page…
"Thanks a bunch for… uh… tripping me." Kakashi rubbed his head nervously.
"No problem! I do it all the time?" She grinned mischievously.
"You trip people on purpose?" Kakashi asked, somewhat confused. Georgette moved her eyes shiftily back and forth.
"You didn't see anything…" She whispered into his ear.
"Okay then, Georgette." Georgette raised an eyebrow, her mouth opening slightly.
"Did you just call me Georgette?" Georgette asked.
"Well yeah! That is your name, right?"
"Ah… no." She shifted her weight to one foot. "Do I look like a Georgette? That doesn't even sound like a girl's name!" The Obviously-Not-Georgette person said.
"True," Kakashi admitted. "But that's what Gohan209 calls you."
"Well, I've got news for you." Ms. I-Hate-The-Name-Georgette leaned forwards a bit. "My name is Kristy. Not Georgette. That's something I'd name a hamster."
"Do you have a hamster?" Kakashi asked.
"No."
"Then how would you know what to name it if you've never had one?" Kristy smacked her face.
"That's not the point…" She sighed. "So, you know my name, what's yours?" He seems familiar somehow… Kristy thought.
"I'm Hatake Kakashi." Kristy stood stone still. "What? Something wrong? Is there something on my mask?" Kakashi turned to look in a window that appeared out of nowhere, and studied his mask for anything offensive. While he was turned around, Kristy quickly pulled out her translated version of Naruto. She looked up and down, comparing Kakashi from the manga, to this Kakashi she had just met.
Nah… She waved her hand dismissively. Can't be… Because we all know that stuff like that doesn't really happen……… does it?
"So, what are you doing here Kakashi?" Kristy asked, all thoughts of this Kakashi being the Kakashi from Naruto out of her head.
"Well, I'm taking some students of ours out on a vacation. Well, more like forcing them on a vacation, but you know what I mean…" Kristy agreed. "Well, I've got to go and make sure they don't try to run off! Catch you later Kristy!" Kakashi jogged off in the direction of the cabins that they had rented and smiled slightly. That Kristy girl was nice. He hoped to meet her again
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"I hereby proclaim this cabin as mine!" Naruto jumped up and latched himself onto the nearest cabin like a leech.
"That's nice…" Ayame sort of turned away.
"Well, before you all try to get settled, we have to review some rules and stuff." Kurenai stood on a tree stump, raising her voice over Gai's quiet sobbing. "Now, remember that thing that Asuma went over?"
"You mean the thing with the crossdresser?" Kiba asked.
"Yes… Kiba…" Kiba withered under the glare Asuma gave him.
"Shall we go over it again?" Kurenai asked.
"No. We understand." Everyone grumbled.
"Well too bad. I want to lecture you until your ears bleed!" Kurenai exclaimed happily. "Now, if Ino leaves Kankurou behind to go with Sasuke, she can not stay with him for longer than five minutes and vice versa. Nina goes to Kankurou, they can only stay with each other for no more than five minutes and vice versa. If for some unknown reason, Sasuke and Kankurou want to hang out, or Nina and Ino want to hang out, again, they can not do that for more than five minutes. However, if both Nina and Sasuke want to hang out with Kankurou and Ino, then they can do that for however long they want. The point is, you can not leave your 'assigned person', for more than five minutes."
"My God woman! You took that word for word from chapter six! You even used the same names!" Shikamaru complained. "One question though, just how long are we stuck here on this island with each other?"
"My dear Shikamaru, you are stuck here… forever!" Gai snuck up behind Shikamaru and stuck a flashlight under his face to give him a creepy look. Well, creepier than he already is anyways. Shikamaru whimpered and began to cry. Wouldn't you start to cry if you were stuck on an island with Gai? I know I would…
"Gai!" Asuma stopped glaring at Kiba for a moment. "Stop trying to traumatize my prized Chuunin!" Ino and Chouji glared at Asuma; they were Chuunin too! (A.N: Just a reminder, they are all 15-16 years old!) What were they, chopped liver? Luckily, they weren't chopped liver, because if they were, Chouji would try to eat himself. Trust me; that would get very messy.
"One last thing," Kurenai continued her long spiel. "That rule that I blatantly took from chapter six, we mean it. If you even try to disobey that rule, we will know. Trust me, we will know…" She ended on a creepy note.
"Hmm…" Kakashi scratched his head, pulling out a scroll from his seemingly bottomless pouch. "I have the cabin assignments right here. Kiba and Ten-ten get cabin one, Neji and Temari get cabin two, Kankurou and Ino get cabin three, Lee and Haku get cabin four…"
"HA!" Gai shouted triumphantly. "I KNEW IT!"
"Knew what?" Kakashi asked, looking up from the scroll.
"Obviously, Kakashi, my students are better than yours because they are all in the top five cabins!" Kakashi blinked several times. "That's another win for me, Kakashi!"
"Okaaayy…" Kakashi went back to the scrolls. "Shino and Kin get cabin five, Sasuke and Nina get cabin six, Gaara and Sakura get cabin seven, Chouji and Tayuya get cabin eight, Shikamaru and Hinata get cabin nine, and finally, Naruto and Ayame get cabin ten."
"But I want this one!" Naruto complained, rubbing his face on the cabin he was latched onto. Kakashi quietly slipped Naruto a 50 dollar bill. "Like I said! Cabin ten is the way to go!"
"Now go into your cabins! It's late and you should all go to bed and get to know each other!" Asuma said cheerily.
"Not only did that come out so wrong," Sakura interrupted. "But if you haven't noticed, it's only two o'clock in the afternoon."
"Don't worry about that darling. Our creepy friend Gai can make the sun set anytime he wants, thus making it time to go to bed." Asuma pointed to Gai, who had miraculously made the sun set behind him on a beach setting. "Now go with Gaara." Asuma pushed Sakura and Gaara through the door of their cabin without a second thought.
Grudgingly, everyone went into their cabins, leaving the Jounin all alone.
"Say, where are we sleeping?" Kurenai asked.
"Oh, we get a giant luxury hotel that's just around the corner." Kakashi pointed to the rather large building. "The kids get to go there when they've proven themselves trustworthy."
"They have to be trustworthy?" Asuma stamped his old cigarette into the ground and lit a new one.
"Nah, I just wanted to spend at least some of this vacation without them. They can get rooms in the hotel later." Kakashi shrugged. "Now, I've bugged each and every cabin so that we can keep a close watch on them, and have a good laugh at the same time." Kakashi pulled out a large square box from his bottomless pouch. "This thing opens into 20 large television screens so that we can watch all of them at once."
"How does he do that?" Asuma asked Kurenai again. Still, neither had the answer to such a question.
"So, let's barricade the doors so that they're all stuck inside until morning." Kakashi pulled out his handy dandy 'Barricade Your Children Inside Of A House' kit from his mysterious pouch. Everyone stared at him. I mean come on! Who knew such a thing existed?
"Where in the world did you get that?" Gai asked dramatically, even though this really wasn't the time for it.
"Sadist's Weekly." Kakashi said calmly, pulling out a pile of bricks and some quick dry cement. "I love that magazine… Almost as much as Icha Icha Paradise; Super Censored Version." So it was true. Jiraiya had been up to a lot lately…
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Ten-ten sat in her room, looking out the window at Neji's cabin. Well, the window was facing cabin number two, so what else was there to look at? She sighed, twirling a kunai on her finger. Her first impression of Kiba, wasn't really all that great. Heck! She barely knew him at all!
And he smelled like dog. A wet dog. Disgusting… Ten-ten's nose crinkled up in disgust. Sighing, she stood up and flopped down on the King size bed they were provided. And go figure! There was only one bed! Typical of the senseis to plan that out as well…
Kiba was in the shower; Ten-ten had made him take one, no 'ifs', 'ands', or 'buts'. The crash of splashing water reached her ears as she buried her head in a pillow. Of all people, why Kiba? Honestly? For one, he was a whole year younger than she was. Two, Ten-ten liked dogs, but she didn't like it when the owner of the dog acted like one. And three, Kiba was downright annoying. Well, he was sweet and all, but he was annoying most of the time.
Ten-ten could no longer hear the water running, so she began to grab her own shampoo and soap. Rather loudly, the door to the bathroom banged against the wall, and Ten-ten almost choked when Kiba came out with nothing more then a towel around his waist, a dripping Akamaru held up to his bare chest.
"Get dressed. Now." She commanded, her voice monotone.
"Why?" Kiba asked, brushing aside a mass of damp hair out of his face. "We're going to bed, aren't we?"
"Exactly. Put on a pair of boxers and a shirt." Ten-ten's voice remained monotone.
"Oh no, I sleep in the buff." Kiba replied, forgetting that he was in the presence of a girl. Ten-ten blinked several times, and walked slowly towards the bathroom.
"By the time I come out, you will be wearing something." Her eyes glittered dangerously as she shut the door of the bathroom. Kiba stared stupidly at the door, holding up his towel with one hand.
"What's her problem?" He asked Akamaru.
"Arf! Erf woof!" Akamaru said quietly, glaring at Kiba.
"Oh yeah," Kiba said, blushing a deep crimson. "She's a girl… hehehe, oops!" He grinned nervously.
Meanwhile, Ten-ten washed her hair, trying for at least a moment, to forget what was happening to her. In short, her 'lovely' boyfriend was Kiba. (Note the sarcasm) But she had other feelings. Feelings that were meant for someone else, someone completely different than Kiba. Ten-ten stood under the stream of the faucet, letting the hot water wash away her troubled thoughts.
Turning off the flow of water, Ten-ten dried herself, grabbing a large, baggy t-shirt, and a pair of sweatpants. She swung the door open, and braced herself. Luckily, Kiba had slipped on a pair of dark blue shorts and a red t-shirt with a pawprint in the center. He grinned sheepishly.
"Sorry, I kind of forgot… you know… girls and all…" He turned around, patting Akamaru on the back gently. "You don't mind if he sleeps on the bed, do you?" Kiba asked, his voice impossible for anyone to turn down.
"Nah, I don't mind." Ten-ten sat down on the bed, scratching Akamaru's chin a bit. "As long as you stay on your side of the bed, I'm fine."
"Fine by me." Kiba gently scooped Akamaru up in his arms, a tender look in his face. "Night night buddy." Within seconds, Kiba had curled up on his side of the bed and was fast asleep.
Well, Ten-ten smiled slightly. We should get along alright. Being tired herself, Ten-ten bowed her head, whispered something softly, and collapsed onto her pillow, a kunai clenched tightly under her head.
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"Well, that was boring!" Kakashi put his hands on his hips and stared at Kiba and Ten-ten's screen. "No arguing or anything!"
"Isn't that a good thing?" Asuma asked.
"Well yes," Kakashi confessed. "But it's not as fun when everything works out like that!"
"You'd better not do anything to Ten-ten or Kiba, Kakashi." Kurenai warned.
"Why would I?" He asked innocently.
"Because you're a mischievous pervert that likes to pull pranks on helpless victims, that's why." Asuma blew out a stream of smoke, almost killing Kurenai with the evil second hand smoke.
"Well, that seems to fit." Kakashi switched his attention. "Now, let's see how Neji and Temari are doing…"
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"So, you were number one in your class, right?" Temari asked Neji.
"Hn…" Neji grunted, staring blankly at the wall
"Is that a yes or a no?" No response. "Do you have a stick up your ass or what?" Temari asked huffily. "You know, I try to be friendly, and you act like you're too good to even give me a response!"
"Alright, fine." Neji turned around on the bed and met her eyes with his pupil-less ones. "What is it you want?"
"You know, just to talk. Let's try and get to know each other since we're going to be living with each other for a while."
"Talk?" Temari nodded. "That's it? You just want to talk?" Neji shook his head. "Girls…" He rubbed his forehead where his bandages were neatly wrapped around his head. Neji had already taken off his forehead protector for the night. "What in the world do you want to talk about?"
"Stuff." Temari shrugged.
"Could you be a little more specific?" Neji asked, already tired of this pointless conversation.
"I know you're not interested in anything but training, so let's talk about that." Temari suggested.
"Our fighting styles are completely different. It would be pointless to discuss them." Neji ignored Temari's flabbergasted face, and crawled under the covers, thinking about something that he'd rather not share with Temari, or anyone else.
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"Well, they were pretty boring too." Kakashi said huffily. "What is wrong with these students of ours? Are they doomed to a life of boringness?" Kakashi went over to screen three with Kankurou and Ino.
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"It was completely your fault." Ino said stubbornly, unwrapping the bandages from her arms.
"I did absolutely nothing!" Kankurou folded his outfit neatly on the floor by his sandals. "You jumped, and dragged us both down!" Neither of them was willing to take the blame for the boat incident.
"Of course you didn't…" Ino said sarcastically. "Why don't you just admit that it was all your fault?" She pulled the hair tie from her hair and set it down on the bedside table.
"Because it wasn't!" Kankurou shouted from the bathroom. He held a damp washcloth in his hands that had purple smears all over it. "Can't we just drop it?" Kankurou continued to scrub his face clean of the kabuki paint that he wore daily.
"No!" Ino insisted as she brushed out her hair. "Because someone has to take the blame for it!"
"Then blame it on Kakashi for putting those handcuffs on us!" Kankurou pulled on a loose fitting black shirt and boxers.
"I don't think so!" Ino pulled on a white shirt with a pink logo and a pair of black shorts.
"Forget it." Kankurou sighed and pushed open the bathroom door. "I'm just going to…" His voice trailed off as he saw Ino. Likewise, Ino was also speechless.
She looks kind of nice with her hair down… Kankurou thought, standing still as a statue.
He's kind of nice looking without that silly makeup on. Ino blinked dazedly. Well, not as hot as Sasuke-kun, but kind of…
They both stood there, just staring at each other, until they realized that they were indeed standing there like idiots with their mouths open.
"Uh…" Kankurou turned away and rubbed his head. "I guess I'll be going to bed now…" Ino snapped back to reality herself, and turned her head down, trying to hide the blush that was creeping onto her cheeks.
"Yeah… I guess I am too…"
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"Ooh! I see some sparks flying already!" Kakashi giggled like a school girl with some juicy gossip.
"You are having far too much fun with this Kakashi. It's only day one!" Asuma exhaled once again, making Kurenai's head spin round and round with the horrible stench of cigarette smoke.
"LEE'S CABIN IS NUMBER FOUR!" Gai yelled, running out to join them. "LET ME SEE MY PRIZED STUDENT FULL OF YOUTH!"
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Haku sat glaring at Lee, her hand twitching slightly. Lee on the other hand, was ignoring Haku, and trying to think about something else. Like the color green for instance…
"I have a question for you Haku…" Lee said, trying to choose his words carefully.
"What?" She snapped back.
"What was Zabuza like?" Haku was taken aback. Why did he ask about something like that? "You know," Lee looked down at his hands. "How did he make you feel?"
"You sound like some sort of guidance counselor…" Haku muttered. "Goodnight, Lee." She turned around and turned off the lights. Lee knew he had hit a delicate subject.
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"LEE!" Gai cried anime tears as he held his fist up in the air. "YOU DID IT ALL WRONG! THAT WAS THE WRONG YOUTHFULL APPROACH TO TAKE!"
"Not only is my lifespan being shortened by Asuma's second hand smoke, but now I'm going deaf…" Kurenai said, a dazed look in her eyes.
"Well, onto cabin five." Kakashi turned to the fifth screen.
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Shino knelt in front of a Buddhist shrine.
"What are you doing?"
"Showing my respect to the one and only religion." Kin raised an eyebrow.
"But I thought you were a vampire nun sworn to silence who will eventually rule as our Mysterious Supreme Ruler of Earth named SUPER SHINO THE BUG BOY!" Kin waved her arms dramatically.
"Yes, that is true." He said quietly, pushing his sunglasses farther up his nose.
"But," Kin was now confused. "If you're a nun, then that would mean that you must be Catholic or something to that extent. Not Buddhist…"
"I know that." Shino turned around to look at Kin. "You see, Onish is a Buddhist monk." Shino turned back to the shrine. "Since Onish is asleep right now, I, Shino, am honoring his religion for him."
Shino knelt in front of a Buddhist shrine, while a confuzzled Kin stared at him like he was crazy.
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"You know, Shino really creeps me out sometimes." Kakashi muttered, scratching his chin. Kurenai would have said something, but she was in her death throes from Asuma's second hand smoke. "Let's move on to cabin six, shall we?"
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Nina sat huddled up against the backboard of the bed, a blanket pulled over her bare feet. She stared suspiciously at Sasuke, who was reading another book and talking quietly to himself. Nina cringed as Sasuke cried out yet again, "Bridget! No!"
"Good God!" Nina stood up on the bed. "What in the world are you reading?"
"None of your business!" Sasuke shoved the book in his pillow case. "Go study one of your stupid scrolls or something!"
"Oh, so now my scrolls are stupid, are they?" Nina glared down at a chibi Sasuke.
"N-no! That's not what I meant… I-I…" Sasuke stuttered frantically. Nina sighed and turned her head.
"Pft, you're not worth it…" She jumped off the bed and landed lightly on her feet. "I'm going up on the roof." Nina went over to the window and tried to lift it, but for some reason, it refused to open. "What in the world?" Some sticky stuff rubbed off onto her hands. "DAMN IT!" She whacked her head against a wall. "They've barricaded us inside!" Nina began to cry anime tears. "Why me?"
"You're kidding, they've trapped us inside?" Sasuke ran down the hallway to their cabin's front door and opened it. A large brick wall blocked the opening. Nina came up next to Sasuke and stood still for a moment. Then, completely unexpectedly, she doubled over and started laughing.
"This is just like a cartoon!" She giggled, wiping away a tear. "Geez, why am I laughing anyway?"
"I don't know…"
"It was a rhetorical question baka." Nina interrupted him. "Go back to reading your book or whatever… I'll be out here if you need me." She gritted her teeth and lay down on the couch. "Only if it's important though." She closed her eyes and immediately drifted into a light slumber.
Sasuke tip toed back to the bedroom and almost stepped on one of Nina's scrolls. Being the nosy person that he is, he untied the string and unrolled the scroll. To his surprise, the scroll was completely blank. Not a single mark was written anywhere. Wait, wasn't she reading these scrolls? Sasuke looked closely at the parchment, but it truly was blank. Sasuke carefully rolled the scroll back up and placed it near her rucksack. That girl was as mysterious as she is violent…
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"Boring…" Kakashi turned his lazy eye to screen seven, ignoring Kurenai's desperate gasps for air.
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"Are you positively, absolutely, sure that you're one of the good guys?" Sakura asked warily.
"For the last time, yes!" Gaara closed his eyes and continued to meditate. If he didn't meditate, he was sure that Sakura would drive him to the brink of insanity. "You did save me that one time, and I didn't exactly try to murder you in cold blood."
"Oh yeah…" Sakura remembered that whole incident with the Akatsuki that hasn't appeared in the anime yet because of those damn fillers… "Um, aren't you going to bed?" Sakura asked, untying her forehead protector from its usual spot.
"I don't sleep."
"Excuse me?"
"You heard me. I don't sleep."
"Don't you get tired?" Sakura pulled her pajamas out from her suitcase. Gaara stared at her, a 'are you kidding me?' expression plastered on his face.
"If I sleep, then my personality will be eaten away by Shukaku until there isn't a single drop of humanity left in my veins."
"0.o'" Sakura didn't know what to say, so she went into the bathroom to get changed.
"Honestly, if she listened to me the first time…" Gaara slid his gourd off his back, and propped it up gently against the side of the wall. He also unbuckled the straps of his vest that he had been wearing since he had become Kazekage, pulled off his overcoat, and pulled off his sandals. After that, he went back to his meditation, wearing nothing but his fishnet shirt, a black tank top, and his long baggy pants.
Gaara had just gotten comfortable again, when he heard Sakura scream bloody murder, accompanied by a loud thump. Forgetting all sense of modesty, Gaara went to go investigate.
Sakura was splayed flat out on the floor of the bathroom, luckily still wearing her undergarments, a large lump on her head. Gaara went quickly over to her side, and poured some cold water over her face. Immediately, she began to sputter and quickly sat up, rubbing her eyes.
"How in the world did you fall down?" Sakura only just noticed that Gaara was in the bathroom with her.
"I slipped on your stupid sand! That's what!" Sakura yelled, pointing to the sand strewn all around the bathroom. "Could you at least clean up after… yourself…" Sakura stopped for as second, and then screamed even louder than before.
"What?" Gaara asked, looking about. "There's nothing…"
"GET OUT!" Sakura screamed, grabbing a towel and holding it over herself. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!" Gaara leapt to his feet and ran for the door, shutting it as quickly as he could behind him. He was just in time, because Sakura's fist went straight through the door, an inch from his face. "YOUR SAND WON'T BE ANY OBSTACLE TO ME! SO I SUGGEST YOU STAY ON MY GOOD SIDE, PERVERT!" Gaara whimpered slightly. What did he do wrong?
…………………………
Kakashi was doubled over in a giggling fit, tears streaming from his one visible eye.
"Ka… ka… shi… uhgg…" Kurenai desperately tried to get Kakashi's attention. "I need a gas mask!" Her face was ashen white.
"There should be one in the closet Kurenai…" Kakashi said, unburdened by such problems as cigarette smoke since his mask filtered it all out. "Shall we take a look at cabin eight?"
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Chouji sat on his side of the bed, looking at the wall, while Tayuya sat on her side of the bed, staring at her little section of wall.
"Sorry that I had to sit on you before." Chouji said grudgingly. Tayuya grunted in response and continued to look at the wall. "Listen, I know that this whole situation is awkward, but why don't we at least try to get along a little?" Tayuya turned around and saw Chouji holding his hand out. "I'm not asking for you to like me, just, you know, try and get along a bit so that this entire thing isn't completely miserable."
Tayuya looked in his eyes, and saw no trace of trickery. Slowly lifting up her own hand, she clasped Chouji's and shook it slightly.
"Deal." Chouji grinned slightly.
"And could you try not to swear so much?" Tayuya's face darkened.
"That's not part of the deal." Tayuya placed her flute on the table, and turned off the light. "Damn it, I'll swear whenever I want."
Chouji sighed in the darkness. He could tell that this vacation was going to be rather unpleasant, even though Tayuya had promised.
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"I can not believe this…" Kakashi rubbed his head. "Why aren't they at each other's throats?"
"Maybe –kkch- because they think that this –kkch- whole thing is –kkch- pointless –kkch-." Kurenai sounded like Darth Vader with that stupid gas mask on. Well, it was better than trying to deal with Asuma's cigarette smoke.
"On to cabin nine…"
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"This is troublesome…" Shikamaru stared at the floor. "Are you sure you don't want to play more Shougi?" Shikamaru could feel Hinata's eyes on his back.
"Positive." She said coldly, completely unlike her usual attitude.
"Fine fine…" Shikamaru tried looking at some clouds from his window, but there was nothing but that stupid sunset that Gai had summoned. He sighed, undoing his ponytail. This was already too troublesome for his taste.
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"Shougi Shougi Shougi…" Kakashi turned to Asuma. "Does he talk about anything else?"
"Well, he talks about things being troublesome…"
"Oh golly gee… isn't he just great a conversation starter?" Kakashi said sarcastically.
"HIS YOUTH IS MUCH IN JEOPARDY!" Gai called out from his bean bag chair the hotel had so kindly provided. Bean bag chairs are fun… Unless Gai steals it, then it becomes very, 'uncool'.
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"So, Ayame nii-chan, how are you?" Naruto asked while scratching his head for no real reason.
"Annoyed."
"Why?"
"Because I said so."
"Um… Okay." Naruto began doodling about how he would kill Sasuke on a piece of paper.
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"You know, I've had it with these boring kids!" Kakashi pressed a small black button on the top right corner of the television screens. Several loud explosions along with several shrieks were heard.
"What did you do? -kkch-?" Kurenai yelled at Kakashi.
"Use your imagination Kurenai, use your imagination…"
"Kakashi, when we see those kids in the morning, nothing bad had better have happened to them." Asuma warned.
"Don't worry!" Kakashi held up his hands. "They'll just be a little shook up! That's all! Now," Kakashi whipped out a large platter. "Who wants potato boats?" All the Jounin cheered and grabbed a cheesy potato boat with bacon. Mmm… potato boats…
"Hi yall!" Kakashi almost choked on his potato boat. Kristy was standing in the doorway of their hotel room. "How's it goin?"
"Kristy!" Kakashi exclaimed, after some difficulty with his cheesy potato boat. "What are you doing here?" Kristy walked over and grabbed a potato boat herself.
"I love potato boats!" She took a big bite. "Num nums!" She cheered. "Bye now!" She left the room, waving goodbye.
"Well, that was odd…" Asuma scratched his head. "Kakashi, do you know her?" But Kakashi didn't answer. He was still staring at the doorway where Kristy had left.
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Doo dee doo! Finally! I finished this chapter! Well, I'm sorry I haven't updated in over two weeks, but I've been really busy with school and all. Got my CMT's coming up next week, so yeah… Great fun… (not) Don't expect an update too soon, unfortunately, because I'm still really busy. You know, one day, I hope all my teachers catch pneumonia and the school just explodes. Then, I would be a happy camper! But since that won't happen anytime soon, I'm not holding my breath…
Anywho! I hope you liked this chapter EarthenAngel! You'll be in more chapters to come!