Note from Author: Well, here it is. The end. I hope I didn't drag you around too long and I hope that this is satisfactory. I also want to say thank you to those who read it and responded with reviews. It's what keeps you writing. PS. This is my real first fan fiction. Thank you. PPS, again forgive the errors, I'm just so anxious to get this on the net, that I am sure I've missed many errors. -Kathleen Russell
Matt pulled on the reins of his horse as he eased up. Standing on the hill, he looked down at Dodge. Five more minutes and he'd be in Dodge, thing was, what would he do next. Once in Dodge, he'd have to go and see her. He was not looking forward to this. He didn't know what it was he was going to say. "Well, Buck, I guess we better get a move on it. It's already getting dark." He said gently kicking his spurs into Buck's belly. The horse began a gentle trot.
Festus sat in the saloon. He was standing at the bar, just waiting for Doc to come by and have a drink with him. It was a warm night, and his noticed his beer had gotten warm again. Uninterested in the beer, he looked down at the floor then turned and leaned against the bar. He noticed the usual crowds, folks from outside of town, come to rid themselves of a powerful thirst. The same folks that been coming in here for years. But something was missing. The light was gone. He noticed that even the young happy go lucky saloon girls were not so happy. Sure, he'd spot the occasional smile, but the light from their eyes was gone. It took him only a moment to realize what that light was. Or to be more specific, who, that light was. The prettiest redhead this side of Mexico, that's who. Kitty always had a way of making people smile. She just entered the room and it light up with smiles and cheer. Because the patrons knew that even for a shrewd businesswoman, she had a heart of gold. She had helped folks on more than one occasion, with a few dollars here and there. But that was neither here nor there, that's not what made them smile. Kitty's smile went all the way to her eyes. And when she was happy, which was most of the time, they lit up. And her laughter, Festus thought, her laughter was like a song from the angels of heaven. His heart began to break, as he realized that that light, may never come this way again. 'It would be a dang shame if they lost her.' He thought to himself
Sam looked up at Miss Kitty's door for about the millionth time. He was worried about Kitty, just like everyone else. Here it was, going on near six o'clock and for the fourth day, she hadn't left her bedroom. He didn't know what to do. No one knew what to do. She was hiding from everyone, including the one's she loved and those who loved her. It just wasn't healthy. He saw Festus and knew that his mind was on the same thing.
"Hey, Sam, can I have another whiskey?" Jake asked from the end of the bar. Sam slowly walked down to the other end and poured a whiskey for the man. He then returned to the other end where Festus stood.
"You want me to freshen up your drink, Festus?" He asked him
"Naw, tain't thirsty no how. What do you think, Sam? Is she gonna be alright?" He asked him.
"I don't know Festus, I just don't know what's gonna happen." He said, wiping the bar with a rag. He picks up the empty glasses on the bar and removes them.
"I sure wish Matthew would get back here right quick." He said moping over his full beer that was warming up. Suddenly Festus's ears perked up. He heard the sound of hooves on the ground, making their way into town. By the sound of the horse, it was carrying someone heavy or big. Matt was both. He was a solid man who was very largely built. Festus and Sam quickly came to the doors of the Long Branch. Matt did not look at them. Instinctively, he looked up at the window, knowing that she would be standing there looking down on him. He was not disappointed. Kitty stood at the window, waiting for him to return. She gently reached up and placed her hand flat on the window, palm out. Matt looked as though he wanted to say something to her, but then he looked over at the Jail. Doc, was coming down his steps, little black bag in hand, when he heard the sound of Buck clopping along. He watched as Matt looked up at the window and then back at the jail. Shaking his head in sadness, he continued on his way and headed for Kitty's room.
Kitty moved back from the window. She felt as though her world had been completely ripped apart. "I'm sorry, Matt." She whispered.
"Did you say something, Miss Kitty?" Sally asked as she came into the room to collect the tray. Kitty did not answer her, she just stood there and continued to look out the window. Sally looked at the untouched tray. She had been delivering Kitty's meals for several days, and the past two or three days, they've gone untouched. As she looked up at Kitty, a tear fell down her cheek. She shook her head in dismay and headed out the door.
Doc came up the steps as she headed towards them. He stopped her at the landing on the top. Looking at the tray, he saw the silver cover and lifted it. "What's this?" He asked, already knowing the answer.
"Her dinner, Doc. She hasn't touched it. She didn't eat no breakfast, no lunch. She just sits there staring out the window." She said. Doc noticed the tears falling down her cheek.
"You give me that, I'll get her to eat!" He said taking the tray from her hands.
"Doc, she hasn't spoken since, well, I think since the Marshal left for Hays City. She hasn't eaten, since two day ago. It's like she don't wanna live. She's dying inside." The tears were flowing freely down her cheeks now.
Doc handed her the tray back. "You take this down and warm it up for her." He says turning towards the stairs and starting down them.
"Where ya' going, Doc?" She asked looking at the tray, then up into those old grey eyes of his.
"To see a friend." He said heading down the stares. He stopped over where Festus and Sam stood. "You keep an eye on this for me, Sam." He placed his black bag on the bar.
"Sure thing, Doc!" Sam said taking the bag and placing it under the counter.
Matt sat at his desk, trying to finish a quick report on what had occurred during the capture and then the trip to Hays. He knew there were more important things to do, like see Kitty, and tell her he loved her, but he was scared out of his mind. What if she told him it was all his fault. And it was, as far as he was concerned, but to hear her say it would be driving a knife into his very chest. He needed her to forgive him. He just didn't know how to approach her. Suddenly the door opened and Doc walked in. "Doc, what can I do for you?" He said going back to his paperwork, pretending as though he were working.
For a few seconds, Doc studied him as he tried to hide behind his paperwork. "Well, for starters, you can get up and go see Kitty, that's what you can do for me!" He said, with just a tinge of frustration in his voice.
"I'm busy right now, Doc, but I'll go see her soon as I'm done." He said looking up for only a moment, but long enough for Doc to see the guilt in his eyes.
"Matt, I don't think you understand how imperative it is to her well being that you go see her. That woman has been through hell and back…" He didn't finish his sentence.
"I know what she's been through, Doc, believe me, Bonner made sure I knew what he did to her." He said closing his eyes, as the nightmare of her being raped came back into play.
"I'm sorry, Matt, but she's not well. Physically, she's healing, but emotionally, she's," He ran his hand through his hair nervously. "she's breaking apart. You should have been to see her a long time ago and prolonging it will only make it worse. She's slowly killing herself. She's not eating, not sleeping." He said angrily as he began to pace the small room. "She's climbed inside some shell and she's just withering away. And if you don't go see her, she's gonna continue to wither."
"Doc! I will go see her as soon as I'm done. I don't need you to tell me what to do." He said angrily.
"You're either afraid, or you really don't lover her anymore, Matt. Which is it? Because whatever it is, you could at least have the decency to tell her, so she could either get on with her dying or maybe, just maybe get on with her healing. You two have a life together, either let her go so's she can die in peace or get over your fear, go over there and tell the woman you love her. No one blames you for what happened to her. Most of all, she doesn't blame you for what happened." He said leaning over the desk.
"How do you know that? Do you know that for certain, Doc? Did she actually tell you that she didn't blame me for this mess?" Angry, he stood and walked around the desk and Doc. "Did she tell you that she didn't blame me for those men taking her. For the fact that she was raped, repeatedly, brutalized by him and his men. Violated and humiliated by those animals, did she?" He raised his voice to Doc, but he understood Matt's pain. Truth was, every one of them felt guilt for what had happened to her. From Doc, to Sam, Festus, Newly, even Burke. They had not been able to prevent her being kidnapped and they felt guilty.
"Matt…" He started but Matt was not listening to him. And he knew that.
Doc realized it was useless. Sometimes he was so stubborn, that talking to him was like trying to move a mountain. Doc shook his head and headed for the door. He looked back at Matt one more time, and proceeded down the sidewalk back towards the Long Branch.
Entering Kitty's room, he noticed that the lights had been dimmed down somewhat. He squinted to see her. She was sitting in the chair by the window, a place that seemed to hold little comfort to her these days. He looked over at the tray that sat on the table in front of the window. Walking over to the window, he gently lifted the silver lid and found the food still untouched. Kitty never took her eyes off of the window, never looking to see who had entered the room. She knew that is was Doc. He was coming in to check on her wounds and apply clean bandages. She was so tired. Her body hurt, and she just wanted to close her eyes and make it all stop. Just make it go away. Breathing deeply, she placed her hands on the armrests of the chair and pushed her body up out of it. She went over to the bed, turned the lamp up and on the edge of it. Doc noted, that she moved as though she were made of stone. There seemed to be nothing left of Kitty Russell. "He doesn't want to see me, does he, Doc?" She said without looking at him. Her voice seemed distant and almost strained as though it were an effort to just talk.
"He had some work to do, Kitty, that's all." He said trying not to look at her. Because if there was one thing he could never do is lie to her face.
"I think you're trying to protect us both from the truth. Matt can't stand to be near me because of what Jude did. He doesn't want me because those men had their way with me. I'm dirty." She said feeling defeated.
"Now you listen to me, young lady, I will not allow you to talk that way…." He said but she cut him off.
"It's the truth, Doc!" She said looking up at him as the tears fell down her cheeks. "I thought he loved me enough to survive anything. I guess I was wrong." She stood and walked back to the chair, leaning against the back chair she continued. "I was a fool to think that he could still love me. That we could go back to the way things were. But his pride has been hurt. His woman soiled by Bonner and his men. I'm no better than a common whore isn't that what you think, Doc? Isn't that what he thinks, the whole town thinks I'm no better than some whore!" She yelled at him.
"Stop it! That's not true! He's scared, Kitty. He's afraid that you'll blame him for what happened, that you won't love him anymore." He tried to reason with her.
"No, you're lying to me. You're lying!" She said thrusting her fists down on the back of the chair.
"He's tellin' the truth." Came the deep voice of Matt Dillon as he stood at her door.
Kitty spun to see him standing there in the door way. His huge frame leaning against the door frame. Matt saw the tears and the fear in her eyes. He entered the room and closed the door behind him.
"It's the truth, Kitty. I'm scared you won't love me anymore. Afraid that you would hate me for what I've done." He said as he knelt down in front of her.
"What have you done?" She asked not understanding his meaning.
"I took Virgil Bonner in, and they hung him. I knew that the Dog Soldiers would try to get him out. I just didn't expect them to come for you. I should have left him alone. I should have let him go." He said laying his cheek on her thigh. Doc took this opportunity to slip out the door. Kitty looked down at the big Lawman, with his head in her lap and she gently reached out and caressed his head. Kitty leaned over and kissed the back of his head. "I'm sorry, please forgive me, Kitty."
"Forgive you for what? What Bonner did to me, wasn't your fault." She said rubbing her hand over his back and shoulders. "He did this to both of us, Matt." Matt looked up into her blue eyes, and he could see the relief in them.
"I love you, Kitty. I'm so sorry I put you through so much. I love you more than anything. Nothing will ever change that. I just hope you still love me, and can find it in your heart to forgive me." He gently cupped her small hands in his. "I love you."
"I love you. I love you." She said as Matt pulled her on the floor into his lap. His large arms circled around her back and pressed her body closed to his. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, whispering against his warm skin. "I love you, Matt."
Doc had been leaning against the door listening. He smiled as he rubbed his chin. Festus looked up at him.
"What are you doing, Doc?" He asked in his gravelly voice, which startled Doc.
"Shhhh!" He pointed to the door. "Matt's with Kitty." He whispered to Festus. Festus smiled than leaned his ear to the door. Doc grabbed him. "What are you doing?" He said pulling him away.
"Well, you was listening." Festus said in a loud whisper.
"Shhhh! You trying to bring them out here, come on you dang fool. I'll buy you a beer." He told Festus, who smiled from ear to ear as he followed Doc down the stares to the bar.
He looked back at the door and smiled, knowing that they would be talking.
Matt continued to hold Kitty in his arms. Only now, he was laying on her bed. He had discarded his belt, boots and vest. She lay there quietly as he held her tightly against his chest. She was silently sobbing, but he could feel her body trembling in his arms. He pulled her closing, absorbing the tremors and comforting her just by being there. An hour later, they were both fast asleep in each other's arms.
Matt began to wake up. Looking around the room, he realized where he was and that the weight on his chest was in fact the only woman he had ever loved. He looked down at the red curls that tickled his skin and smiled. Wondering if their child had been born, would he have hair like his mother's or hair like him? He had hoped that any child born to them would have her hair. He loved her red hair, especially when the sun dance on it and made it look as though it were on fire. "God, you're beautiful." He whispered as she continued to sleep. He could feel her warm breath against his now bare chest and realize that she had to have unbuttoned his shirt in the middle of the night, to be able to feel his warmth against her. Smiling, he closed his eyes for a moment. It was at that moment, that he heard a light tapping on the door. He knew unconsciously, that it was Doc or Festus or even both of them, checking on the two of them. Carefully extricating himself from Kitty's arms, he sat up and slowly got out of bed. He heard her moan and looked back to see her snuggling into his pillow. He couldn't stop the smile that came to his lips if he had wanted to. Opening the door, he smiled at the two scraggily faces before him.
"Morning, Doc, Festus!" He said in hushed tones. Glancing over his shoulder, Kitty sighed contentedly in her sleep.
"How's she doing?" Doc whispered.
"She's sleeping right now." He said running his hand through his hair.
"Well, when she's awake, make sure that Sam gets her a good healthy breakfast and you, make sure she eats.!" He commanded
"Sure thing, Doc." There was a moment of awkward silence. "Hey, Festus, you think you and Newly can handle things without me for a few days?" He asked his old friend.
"I need to be here with Kitty for a few days. I need to…" He didn't really want to go into detail with the men. Even if they were his oldest and closest friends, it was something that he didn't want to have to tell them.
"You don't worry about nothin', Matthew. Newly and I can handle things for a while." He said in a whisper. "You just take care of Miss Kitty." He noticed the moment was uncomfortable for all of them. "Come on, you ole' saw bones. I'll buy you breakfast at Del Monicos." He said as he stepped back. Both Matt and Doc Adams looked on in disbelief.
"Did he just say he'd buy me breakfast or am I hearing things?" Doc asked jokingly.
Matt laughed at the two men. "I believe he did say something about buying you breakfast, Doc. Maybe you aughtta take him up on it before he changes his mind."
"You ole' coot, don't be flappin' your jowls, tain't like it the first time." He said indignantly.
"Actually, I think it is." Matt replied. The three men laughed.
"Matt?" Came Kitty's soft voice from behind the door. Matt looked back to see her sitting up on her hip, and gently rubbing the sleep from her eyes.
"I'll talk to you two later." He said as Festus and Doc nodded. Matt shut the door and the two heading down to the bar.
Matt gently sat on the bed and touched Kitty's cheek. "Good morning!" He said as he kissed her softly on the lips. "How are you feeling this morning?"
"Tired. Hungry." She smiled at him, and he could feel his heart pound against his chest with joy.
"I'll have one of the girls run to Del Monicos while you take a nice hot bath. I heard Sam up here this morning, sneaking up and down the steps. I'm sure the bath is still nice and hot." He said slipping off of the bed and reaching his hand out to her. She smiled as she took his hand and he helped her off of the bed.
"A nice hot bath does sound quite wonderful." She said to him as he walked behind her, leading to the other door on the other side of her bed which lead to her private bathroom.
"Well get to it, woman. I'll see about breakfast!" He said as he kissed her cheek and opened the door for her. Kitty went inside and he pulled the door closed behind her. He then tucked his shirt in and put his boots on quickly. Then headed out the door. As he came to the stares, Sally was coming up the steps with a tray.
"Doc and Festus were at Del Monicos and told me to bring this up for you and Miss Kitty." She said smiling at the big man in front of her.
"Thank you, Sally." He said taking the tray.
"Umm, Marshal, is she…" She didn't finish the question.
"We're working on it, Sally. But I think with help from her friends, she's gonna be just fine." He started to walk away.
"More like the love a good man." She told him as he headed for Kitty's room, but not before turning and smiling at the young lady.
Matt smiled as he took the tray into Kitty's room and gently placed it on the table by the window. He then heard her splashing a bit as she entered the tub. Sitting on the bed, he took his boots off and began to undress.
Kitty lay back in the hot water, relaxing her muscles. She heard the side door open from the bedroom entrance and knew that Matt was standing over her looking down at her as she lay naked in the water. Smiling, subconsciously, she opened her eyes to see him smiling at her. Kitty sat up and moved to the center of the tub, allowing Matt room to sit behind her. They had often bathed together, for no other reason than being with each other and the pure intimacy one achieved just by lying naked with one's lover. Matt discarded thee towel and climbed in behind her. Once his was situated, she moved back against him and laid her head on his chest. Immediately the tears began to flow once more. This was not altogether unexpected, Matt knew that she would have a long way to go to heal, as would their relationship. His hands moved up and down her arms as to warm her, then slipped around her, to pull her tighter against him.
When the water had finally cooled down, Matt got out and grabbed the bath-sheet for Kitty and held it up as she climbed out of the tub. There were still yellowish bruises on various parts of her body. He hesitated to stare at the marks and she knew what he was looking out now. Turning to face him, again, she allowed him to look at her. Matt knelt down and gently touched the bruise on her ribs, the healing bite mark on her breast, stood to examine the bruises on her throat. Leaning over her, he gently kissed the mark on her breast, then gently placed his pointer under her chin and tilted her head up for a gentle loving kiss. In this gentle kiss, his tongue had gently traced her bottom lip. And pulled the lower lip into his mouth as he gently nibbled it, conveying to her, that not only did he love her, but he also found her to be quite desirable. And nothing would ever change that. Wrapping the towel around her, he rubbed her back and dried her off. "I could stay like this forever." She said wrapping her arms around him.
"Sounds good to me, but how to you suppose I continue to be the Marshal? Do you think there will be talk if I walk around town with you in my arms like this?" He smiled as she laughed at him. "Besides, I don't know about you, Kitty, but I'm starving."
"I guess I could use some food. I am feeling a bit light headed anyway." She said wrapping her arms around herself as Matt picked up his towel.
"Are you alright?" He asked her.
"I haven't really eaten much lately." She said looking up at him guiltily.
"So I've been told." He gently leads her out of the room into her bedroom. Kitty drops the towel as Matt turned around, her back to him and he smiled at the gentle curve of her derrière. She reached over for her robe which lay on the bottom of the bed. He had to admit, her posterior was always one of his favorite things about her. She was definitely built a woman. Walking over to the door, Matt pulled his robe off of the back of the door. He remembered the day she had given it to him. It was a Christmas present from three years ago. It was a good Christmas for both of them.
"Ummm, Matt, I thought you were hungry?" She said looking at him as he put the robe on.
"Very hungry." He said as he moved around the bed and met her at the table. Matt pulled the silver cover off of the plates. There was a great deal of food on it. "You think they were expecting Festus up here?" Kitty smiled and sat down as he began to serve up breakfast.
The days wore on and the weeks past by. Kitty continued to cry out in her sleep at nights, but those incidents were becoming fewer. Things seemed to be returning to almost normal. Matt worked his job, and returned to the Long Branch at night which is pretty much where he resided these days. Did anyone think less of them, it was quite probable, but when the truth of their secret marriage was divulged to the townspeople, no one had anything more to say. Knowing the danger it could put her in, the adults of the town, tucked that little bit of info away for safe keeping. They had no idea, that Matt and Kitty had actually been married for almost 11 years. Now they had to forget about it.
3 weeks after their reunion, Matt was in his office looking over the latest wanted posters, when Newly came in with a telegram.
"Morning Marshal, I stopped at the mercantile, than at the telegraph office to send that info out. Mr. Levi gave me this telegram for you." He said handing the envelope to Matt.
Matt took the envelope and opened it. He read the telegram from the Sheriff in Hays City. It seemed that Jude Bonner and his men had been sentence to life in prison. And Bonner had managed to delay his departure from Hays City to prison. He said that he wanted to see Kitty. Matt read it to Newly, who sat there with his mouth hanging opened unable to believe the audacity of Jude Bonner.
"You're not gonna tell her are you?" Newly asked.
"Do I have a choice, Newly? Do I really want her to see him again, after what he's done to her?" He looks at the telegram again, not realizing that Kitty was standing at the opened door listening to them. "I just don't know what to do. If I tell her, do you think she'll wanna go and see him?"
"I'm not sure Marshal, maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea, but then again, you never know. I think it's your call." He said to him.
Kitty stood behind them. She was wearing a pale blue dress and stood holding a basket of food for the two men.
"Don't you think that aughtta be my call?" She asked as she came into the office. "Maybe I should have a say in this?" She said.
Newly felt a little uncomfortable. "Maybe I better go do some rounds or…something." He said tipping his head to Kitty. "Miss Kitty." He said acknowledging her. Kitty nodded back to him as he stepped around her and put his hat on his head, as he stepped out the door.
"Matt?" She said questioning him.
"I don't think it's a good idea to go up to Hays City. Bonner and his men were sentenced to life. He's bound to be resentful of us. We're the ones who put him there." He said looking at her.
Kitty set the basket on thee desk as he stood there looking at her. "I need to do this, Matt, no matter what happens, I need to let him know that he can't hurt me anymore." She smiled at Matt. "He can't touch us anymore, Cowboy." She held out her hand and Matt took it. Her hands were warm and soft and tiny next to his. He loved the fact that they were smaller and softer.
"Okay, Kitty. If you wanna go, we will go." He pulled her into his arms and held tightly. "I knew there was another reason I loved you." He said softly.
"What's that?" She asked against his chest.
"You're the strongest woman I know." He kissed the top of her head.
"What's the other reason?" She asked. He smiled, leaned down and whispered in her ear. Kitty began to laugh at his answer.
"I love you, Cowboy." She said looking into her blue eyes.
"And I love you, Kitty." He gently lowered his lips to hers.
Matt came out of the Stagecoach first. He turned around and held out his hand to the beautiful redhead. Kitty smiled as he gently helped her down from the stage. Sheriff Cooper waited for them and escorted them back to the Jail.
Jude Bonner sat on the cot, waiting to see the woman. As the door opened, Matt held the door for Kitty and she entered the room. There were no other prisoners in the Jail. Kitty walked over to the cell and Bonner stood to meet her. She wore a dark blue satin dress, a dark hat, with a veil covering her eyes slightly.
"You look as though you're going to a funeral, Reds." He state to her.
"In a manner of speaking, I guess I am." She said keeping her distance from him. He had hoped he saw fear in her eyes, but all he saw was determination.
"My funeral?" He asked her.
"Yes!" She said to him.
"In case you did know, I was sentenced to life." He smirked.
"You're still dead to me, Bonner." She said as she stepped up towards the bars. "I want you to know something, from this day forward, I will not think of you. You will not control my life." She said calmly.
"Do you think you can erase me from your memory so quickly, Reds?" He said beginning to feel anxious
"Oh, there's not a doubt in my mind." She told him with confidence. She turned towards Matt and started for him.
"I'm not that easy to forget, Reds. I'll be in your dreams, in your mind." He said trying to get a rise out of her.
"It seems to me, you're speaking from experience. You're the one that won't forget. You're the one whose dreams will be haunted. To me, you are just a nightmare, that will be forgotten. I won't allow anymore than that." She stepped up to Matt and he took her arm.
"This isn't the end woman!" He yelled at her. "This isn't over!"
Kitty looked up at Matt and he saw the relief, the end of her mourning in her eyes, as she smiled. Looking back at Jude Bonner, she showed him her bright alluring smile, a smile that conveyed peace. "Yes, it is! She stated plain and simple.
The End