CHAPTER 18: Great Mother Goddess

Roger was scaring her. She turned a corner—and he was there. She sat down to dinner—and he was there. She opened her eyes—and he was there. He was stalking her.

Alanna, heart beating like a war drum, knocked her heels against Moonlight's sides, urging her to speed to a gallop as they raced through the Royal Forest. Three months had passed since that fateful fight with Sir Dain of Melor, since she had begun feeling Duke Roger of Conté watch her. She had to get away from him. Even if it were just for today, she had to be rid of his ever-haunting eye.

Ages after racing like a hunted deer from the palace, Alanna slowed, gasping, to a trot, and then, hesitantly, to a walk. Cautiously, she took in her surroundings of the Great Royal Forest, and then stopped altogether next to an enormous willow tree at the top of a hill—a secure place to think in peace—and soon had a fire blazing.

Alanna leaned back against the trunk of the tree, trying to calm her jumping nerves, but ended up shrieking and jumping to her feet when something prodded against her lower back. Suddenly, she sneezed twice and coughed, and then looked down at the ground where she had been sitting. To her surprise, a small, black kitten rolled playfully in the dirt, purring charismatically. Alanna couldn't help but laugh and bent to pick it up, noting out of the corner of her eye the cat's masculine features. It mewed softly, and then clawed its way up her sleeve to settle comfortably on her left shoulder. Alanna wondered if she should bother pondering its instant tameness, and decided against it. She had enough on her mind as it was.

Another sneeze of hers sent her new pet toppling off her shoulder, and she only just caught him as he yowled frantically. More sneezes hit her one after the other, stunning her momentarily and causing her eyes to flood. It took her minutes to get under control again, and when she finally opened her eyes, they locked with her kitten's. She froze. His eyes were as purple as her own. "Goddess," she breathed.

"Yes?" a strong, melodic voice asked from behind her.

Alanna started and spun. Standing on the other side of the fire was the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes on. Thick black hair and lively emerald eyes perfectly accented smooth olive skin, a faultlessly-cut nose and chin, and a full red mouth. But, oddly enough, she dressed her finely-curved body in the simple garments of a tunic, a shirt, breeches, boots, and a cloak. She was no normal lady, though that much was clear enough just by her presence in the forest, without even a horse for a companion.

"Hello," Alanna greeted suspiciously. "May I help you?"

"You most certainly may, my daughter. Please sit," the woman replied smoothly, dropping to the ground into a cross-legged position.

Alanna followed suit, setting the cat in her lap, but never took her eyes off the stranger woman. She knew that voice. It was as light and wonderful as a cool breeze in the summer, and yet, at the same time, as strong and powerful as thunder. She had heard it a year or so before, in a dream or something, giving her help, saving her life...

Suddenly, Alanna remembered. She froze. This woman had helped her and Jon defeat the Ysandir. She had told Alanna to use Lightning to fight Ylon, in that same gentle, dreadful voice.

"Goddess!" she gasped, and when the woman nodded, Alanna swore and jumped to her feet, ignorantly dumping the cat to ground, wondering how she curtsied to a goddess and what happened when she couldn't curtsy because she was wearing breeches, and what was she supposed to say?

She faltered, and the Great Mother Goddess laughed softly, petting the kitten as he crawled into her lap. "Sit down, my daughter. We have much to talk about and very little time to do it in. Roger of Conté has been troubling you."

Alanna stiffened. She had never spoken to anyone about Roger before. After all, it was all her imagination. She swallowed and shrugged. "Duke Roger is a good man. All of my friends trust him, so I should too."

"But you don't."

The force keeping her thoughts about Roger in her head and away from her tongue shattered. "No, I don't!" she shrieked. "He stares at me like I'm some kind of prey. I hate him. I think he's evil. I have no reason to, none at all, no proof that he isn't divine. But every other day, now, Roger works on the spells while Jarinth works with His Majesty on Tusaine, and every day after that, Jarinth and Roger trade places, and she works on the spells, and it's as if Roger hadn't been doing anything at all, or even that he's been backtracking. She's confronted him once about it, but nothing happened. 'It's slow going,' he says. 'It will take long years before any visible progress has been made.' But I know that's crap—this shouldn't take years and we should already be seeing progress. Jarinth is too tired and therefore too braindead to argue, so she just accepts it and moves on. But I still hate his guts."

The Goddess nodded. "Good. Your eyes are open. Keep them open, and you'll see more. Remember that he is a mortal man, and you can use that against him."

Alanna jerked back, startled by the unexpected statement. "'Use that against him'?"

"The Ysandir told you that you were to kill the king's worst enemy. Has it never occurred to you who that enemy is?"

"Not Roger!" Alanna gasped. "He loves the royal family!"

"It appears that way, doesn't it?"

"But even if he is, that doesn't mean that I'm necessarily going to kill him! That was an entirely different life! I mean, if that were to stay the same, then who's to say I'm not to become the King's Champion, or even not to become a knight at all?"

"Yes, who's to say?" the Goddess replied. "Surely you've realized you're not like other ladies, Alanna. After all, you are one of my Chosen."

Alanna stared harder than ever. She was one of the Goddess' Chosen? A mortal selected—singled out—by a god to help bring a certain twist to life? Chosen Ones were nothing but trouble.

"You've started well already: at least you're training. But enough chatter. I need to leave soon, but before I do, I have a gift for you."

If she hadn't been wary before, Alanna was instantly so now. Those who wielded gifts from gods rarely had good things to say about them, and she had an inkling this time would be no different. Keeping an eye out for any hidden tricks, Alanna watched suspiciously as the Goddess reached for the fire. The Mother, disregarding the heat, smoothly dipped her hand into the roaring flames and picked up a glowing ember. Then, she held it out. Alanna stared at it in astonishment, understanding the silent request and not wanting to obey at all. "Mother, I know you mean the best, but—must I?" she whispered, wincing at the very thought of daring to question a god.

The Goddess smiled. "You must."

Bracing herself as she reached out, Alanna gasped when her fingers received not a burning coal, but, instead, a cool ember. The fire and its heat glowed from within a glass, diamond-hard coat, smooth save for a holed bump just wide enough for a thin chain to slip through: the perfect necklace. Calling such a gift "beautiful" would dishonor its magnificence.

From across the fire, her temporarily-forgotten pet mewed for attention, causing Alanna to jump in surprise. For a moment, the ember had held her full attention while the Mother waited. Shocked that her Goddess had failed to interest her more than a new present, she blushed furiously and bowed her head. "My apologies, my Mother. Your ember is incredible."

"Your ember, my dear. It's a gift from me to you. Keep it always—you'll need it very soon. Now, I must be off. Farewell, my child, and good luck." Just then, the black kitten shrieked and pawed at the Goddess' leg. To Alanna's surprise, the Mother picked him up and said firmly, "And you must stay here. Protect her; she'll need all of the help she can get."

Then the Goddess rose, and Alanna jumped to her feet and bowed. "Thank you, Mother. I won't fail you." When she stood straight again, the god had vanished, leaving the black kitten to mew pitifully on the ground. Glancing at him, Alanna could only laugh in wonder at the day's events.

"Alanna!" a man suddenly shouted, relief flooding his voice.

Before she could react, George had swept her up into his arms in a tight embrace.

"Hey George," she whispered, hugging him back just as strongly. Somehow his presence didn't surprise her. "Thanks for coming."

"Don't you ever do that again," he told her fiercely. "The next time you feel the urge to run out into the woods like some insane, hunted man, you come to me, alright?"

"Alright."

"Good." He sat, pulling her down next to him, and nodded toward the cat. "Who's that?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully. "I just found him here. He seemed to like me, so I figured I'd keep him. How did you get here?"

"On horseback, of course. You left clear tracks in your rush to get here. My birds told me you had left and that you were headed for the Royal Forest, and I did the rest."

Only now did Alanna spot the bay—Apple, George called her—nibbling on grass with Moonlight. She started to hoist herself to her feet to tether the mount to the tree, but George tugged her back down. "She'll stay," he promised, "and you, lass, aren't going anywhere until you explain yourself. What's the matter? Jarinth, my ma, and your boys—especially Jon—are worried sick. What happened?"

She rubbed her head and then leaned against the tree behind them. "Roger," she finally said.

"Ah, are his good looks finally getting to your head?" he teased quietly.

"No, it's just that—oh, I don't know. He scares me, I think," she admitted.

"My lass? Scared?"

"It's weird," she said needlessly, and then explained her suspicions as she had to the Goddess. "But I have no proof. I could just be terribly paranoid and looking for someone to blame."

"You could be," he agreed, "except for that I've noticed it too. What's more, I've thought about it a tidge more fully than you have. You need a different perspective. Think of it this way: if he first gets rid of, one, Queen Lianne; two, King Roald; and, three, Jon, where does that he leave him? As the royal family's closest relation, he'll be the almighty king of Tortall."

Alanna jumped and stared at him in shock. "But Roger would never do such a thing. He loves Jon. He taught him how to ride his first horse, and now they do everything together."

"The perfect alibi once he's king," George reminded her.

"But then why doesn't he send a huge disease and kill them all right now?"

"He's already tried. Mother told you about it your first day back from Persopolis. The sickness drained the healers of their magic and killed its worst victims in less than a week. The Queen was one of the really bad ones, though she lucked out and didn't die. Chances are that there had been plans to make Jon or Roald catch it once the healers were too weak to help."

"But the illness failed. And Roger was in Carthak. You don't really think he's strong enough to send such a spell all the way from there, do you?"

"I do, but not a spell that big and special, limited to just one city. He had help—from the strengthening spells. Someone, I'm willing to bet, found out and destroyed the strengthening shield, which was quite possible now that it was weakened from helping Roger's spell. In destroying the shield, this new mage also terribly weakened Roger's spells, forcing him to draw back before a mage traced the spells to him, or he died trying to continue the illness. This incident probably made the acid red-Gift contamination." He paused to let his words sink in, which they did. Alanna shuddered and laid her hurting head on his shoulder. "I suspect he's doing plenty now, too, by weakening Jarinth, one of Their Majesties' greatest guardians. He keeps her busy with the repairs and the doll—I'll bet that's his doing, too. If the doll weren't there, she could easily progress the work on the spells. If the repairs weren't there, she could easily trace the doll back to him.

"He also keeps you busy—stalking you, like you said. I have people watching you, and you and Jarinth are regularly followed to your talks with Ma and me, and you've been followed twice on your night trips to the Dove. You're a threat because you can help Jon—with magic and fighting. Roger wouldn't strike until he's gotten rid of you."

Alanna thought about this silently, and finally groaned, "But there's no proof."

George glanced at her and shook his head. "Nothing physical, no. But we can think without proof. Now, however, we should get back before they send out a search party for us."

She agreed, and they both stood. The ride back was calm and comfortable with the cat riding in his chosen spot of under Alanna's ear, where he fit perfectly. At the edge of the Royal Forest, where their paths split between the town and palace, they dismounted for a small snack. It was just before they mounted again and set off on their own paths that George locked his gaze with Alanna's.

"No more running off," he stressed firmly one last time. "I have many birds watching you after today. They're in direct contact with me, so you'll not get far before I catch up to you, understand? You come to me."

Alanna grinned and gave him a quick hug. "I promise."

He smiled and touched her cheek. "Lass, have you given a thought to your courting life yet?"

She looked at him quizzically. "George, what a random question!"

"For you, maybe. When you start thinking about it more, you'll keep me in mind, won't you?"

"George, I don't understand. What—"

He leaned down and kissed her gently. She let him, too stunned to react. When he pulled away, she could only tremble.

"Just a thought," he told her softly and yet somehow playfully.

Alanna forced a laugh and stepped away, only too aware of her flushed cheeks and chaotic insides. "George, what have you been drinking?" The teasing tone did not quite hide her uneasiness.

"Nothing of consequence," he replied, eyes shining with something hot that made Alanna look away.

"You're insane," she said flatly.

"If you say so." He mounted Apple. "Will you still come down to the Dove tomorrow night, even after this?"

She stared at him. "George, you just get stranger and stranger. Why wouldn't I come?"

He smiled. "Good. I'll see you then." With that, he ruffled her hair and prodded Apple into a trot, heading quickly for town.

Alanna groaned and mounted Moonlight. "Why do men have to make things so difficult?"

Funny, her kitten replied. I was just about to ask the same about you.