Notes: Well, the Zexion/Demyx revolution is underway! Shikyou and I have already converted a handful of people... What's after the site? The world, of course!

Hey, you've gotta' have high goals, right?

This one's angsty, too. It's the half-sequel to "Smile," which you can read by going to my profile, scrolling down, etc., etc., etc. I'll post the complete sequel eventually... Probably soon, considering I'm totally devoting myself to this pairing! As for now, deal with this short, smutty thing.

Gotta' get some good stuff on the site for these guys. Mmm.

This it takes place before or during Chain of Memories. Repetition is intentional.

Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts and all related characters are property of Square Enix. I claim no ownership to them.

Real
By Nina Lynn (Oblivion Sky)

This is real.

It has to be. It doesn't matter that they have no hearts, that they're not supposed to feel. He knows it's real. He can sense the surge of emotion that fills him when Zexion looks at him that way. He can hear his nonexistent heartbeat accelerate when Zexion holds him. He can feel the proud look that settles on his face when Zexion nuzzles him in front of the others, dropping tender kisses to the top of his head, unafraid of what anyone else will think about them... It's there, it's tangible...

It has to be real.

Why else would Zexion reveal this side to him, the side that shows true emotion and lets down the cold-as-ice barriers? Those dark eyes glittering as they rest together, legs entangled and wrapped in sweat-soaked sheets, the older Nobody's pale lips moving as he whispers things to his lover, sometimes comforting, sometimes pondering, sometimes filled with self-hate.

Demyx doesn't care which it is. Zexion's actually talking to him, that's all that matters.

And when Demyx occasionally interrupts the conversation to burrow closer to Zexion and bury his face in the other's chest, he knows that the lilac-haired man doesn't mind because arms encircle him a moment later, embracing him protectively.

That's right. Zexion promised to protect him.

So far, he's done a wonderful job of it, always appearing at Demyx's side at just the right time. Larxene doesn't bother him anymore, not after those first few encounters. Axel no longer steals his things, Marluxia doesn't lecture him. He can walk the halls of the castle without being afraid that someone will point out a mistake and hurt him for it.

Zexion will never let anyone hurt him. He knows that for sure.

He knows that Zexion cares for him. Even if the man doesn't realize it, Demyx does.

He can tell from the way Zexion kept it slow the first time, not wanting to hurt him, treating the blonde like a fragile porcelain doll that could shatter at any moment if things became too rough. Everything had been gentle and unhurried, but Demyx doesn't dare to call it loving. Never.

They can't love. They have no hearts to do so.

Then why does it feel like we do, Zexy?

It changed after that, of course. Once Demyx reassured him that he could take anything and anyone, Zexion became wilder, more aggressive, actually taking him fucking him not "love"-making and oh he "loved" it writhing screaming begging for more--

It doesn't hurt, though. Never.

If this isn't love, what is it?

They've only been "together" for five days, and already they've had sex countless times, in countless places. The library, the meeting hall, in the kitchen and the lounge room. Zexion says he wants to try something different, more dangerous

"I want to fuck you on the Superior's throne... Please, Demyx, this is something I need to do."

but Demyx isn't sure, and says that they shouldn't take such a risk. The Superior's angry enough with Marluxia, though the reasons for that are unknown to both of them. If Xemnas finds out that they're disgracing him in such a way, they'll both die. For real.

I don't want to "die" now... Not when I have Zexion...

Demyx manages to convince his "lover" to do something else, something equally dangerous, somewhere that they can be caught. And so they fuck in the middle of the hallway. Demyx braced against the wall with his legs wrapped around the other. Zexion thrusting into him with everything he has. Cries escalating in volume as they're both driven towards completion.

Demyx knows they're being watched. He can feel eyes on them. Yellow ones. But his focus is switched when Zexion arches his back and enters him at a different angle, drawing out a high-pitched keening noise, and Demyx forgets all about the yellow eyes.

I think I love you, Zexy. I really think I do. I know I do.

They somehow make it back to Zexion's room, which they've chosen to share because it's more secluded than Demyx's. They curl up together in the bed, one sore and the other tired, and everything is tranquil and quiet until Zexion starts crying.

"I'm sick of this, Demyx. I want to be real. I want to have a heart, I want to feel something for you..."

And though Demyx is concerned about the other, he only seems to hear the last phrase. He pulls away, eyes filled with hurt, or something like it because they don't have emotions, only illusions. "You don't feel anything for me? You don't care about me?"

He's angry that his voice is so weak, but Zexion's is even weaker as the older Nobody starts sobbing quietly, crystalline tears trailing down his face. "N-No, I do, but... We don't exist, so whatever I do feel for you doesn't exist, so it doesn't matter, even though I w-want it to... I want this to be real, Demyx, I really do. I do feel for you, believe me, I..."

Demyx listens to Zexion ramble, sobs mixing in with his words so that they're barely coherent, but Demyx understands. He understands what the other is saying, all of it, even what he's not saying.

Zexion's trying to say that he loves him.

But love doesn't exist here, does it?

Demyx returns to his previous position and the other clings to him, tears now falling against his shoulder as Zexion rests his head there. The younger of the two just pulls him closer, whispering what he hopes are comforting things.

Zexion calms down after awhile, but he stays wrapped in Demyx's arms, so Demyx takes the opportunity to whisper one last thing to him, fingers combing through lilac hair as he lowers his mouth to Zexion's ear.

"This is real, Zexy. Don't listen to what the Superior says. We can love each other if we want to."

Zexion lets out a soft whimper, and Demyx is worried that he'll start crying again, but he doesn't, instead tilting his head to press their lips together. It's simple and chaste, but it still sends a wave of warmth through Demyx, and he smiles, keeping Zexion in his arms long after the older Nobody falls into unnecessary sleep.

He's content with this. Their "relationship." It's fragile, he knows that, but it's okay. It's enough for him. He never wants it to end.

It does.


- fin.