Thank you to my beautiful betas Lin_Lamont and k8tj17

When Usagi had woken abruptly, panicked and in a cold sweat, she knew deep in her gut that something was horribly wrong.

Mamoru.

It seemed they were still deeply connected despite his complete amnesia, and he was in danger.

She had almost been too late.

Just like Tuxedo Kamen in the old days, Sailor Moon had wrapped her arms around Mamoru and scooped him to safety and out of harm's way. Well, maybe safety wasn't totally on the mark, but she had shielded him, protected him, saved him.

Tuxedo Kamen would be so proud of her.

Mamoru, with his sweet, dirt smudged face, had watched her with complete awe and admiration, had gazed into her eyes and leaned into her touch. It took every ounce of self control not to pull his face down to hers and kiss him until she couldn't breathe; to not shake his shoulders and scream "Mamoru, it's ME! Don't you remember me?"

Now there was a chance that maybe–just maybe–he did. For the first time in five years, Usagi felt real hope. Whatever threat the Black Moon Clan threw their way, now they could face it together. She settled back into bed just after sunrise, hugging her pillow, softly petting Luna, and fell into a restful sleep with a smile on her face.

Thanks to her accelerated Senshi healing, the shallow cuts from the barbs faded after the first day and were almost nonexistent by the second. Her lip was a different story. It was more of a stab than a cut, and she had barely convinced Ami not to give her stitches. If for some reason, Mamoru's memories hadn't been jogged, he could at least see her scabbed lip and conclude that she, Tsukino Usagi, the girl he forever kept at a safe distance, was his personal hero Sailor Moon.

Over the following days, Usagi spent every minute of free time at Crown waiting for Mamoru to appear. When he hadn't shown up by Friday afternoon, her anxiety doubled. She didn't know the extent of his injuries…what if he was worse off than she had thought? Clearly, his leg or his foot was hurt, but she wasn't there when it happened. Was he in the hospital? She didn't have his number and was apprehensive to broach the subject with Motoki.

Was anyone checking on him? If Mamoru was horribly injured, surely he would have at least informed someone like Motoki…right? Did Motoki know that Mamoru had no family to take care of him?

It was Saturday by the time all five girls could meet up at Crown. Usagi had outright refused to meet at Hikawa Shrine until she could see Mamoru again, and they relented without much argument. It was desperate, Usagi was well aware, but she knew they wouldn't take this away from her, no matter how much Rei pretended to bellyache. Plus, it was nice to have her friends there to distract her, as she was seconds away from marching straight to the counter and demanding Mamoru's address.

"Their leader, that Demande guy, has been showing his face a lot more often at battle," Makoto observed, polishing off her grilled cheese. "What do you think it means?"

"Either they're desperate, or they're close to getting what they want," Rei spoke gravely.

"He's let Rubeus and Esmeraude do all the heavy lifting for years," Minako chimed in. "And suddenly now he wants to observe the action. We still don't know where they even came from or what they want. They just seem hell-bent on destroying whatever part of the city they can."

"And us along with it," Ami added.

"Regardless of what they're after, we can't let Demande get close to Usagi," Rei pointed her fork. "I've seen him try more than once."

"Trying to take the Silver Crystal?" Makoto asked.

"It's not just that," Rei shook her head. "I get a sense he craves more than just her power. The way he looks at her…almost like he knows her. I don't like it. There's something in his eyes that's…not necessarily sinister but–"

"Lust," Minako interjected.

All eyes shifted to Minako. Even Usagi, distracted as she was every time the sliding door opened, gave Minako her full attention.

"That's what you're sensing," Minako said quietly.

"You really think so?" There was an edge to Makoto's voice now, her posture straightening in her natural protective manner.

"You know I'm never wrong about this sort of thing," Minako said. It was true, there was no short-sightedness with the Goddess of Love.

Now everyone's eyes flicked from Minako to Usagi, taking in what the former had said.

Usagi gave her best attempt at a giggle, but it was clipped. "I don't think so, V-chan. I think he's just power drunk."

"Usagi," Ami said soothingly. "Just be careful when he's around. And when he's not around. I know you've been worried about Mamoru, but don't let your guard down in the meantime. We don't know what Demande is capable of."

Ami was right. Demande was mostly a spectator while Rubeus and Esmeraude conjured and consorted with the Droids. Usagi had certainly been taken aback by how handsome he was, but something about him gave her pause, and not just that he was their enemy. His deep, level voice was alluring, almost hypnotic; it had whispered threatening promises to her in dreams.

In truth, she had felt a shiver down her spine once or twice when his gaze lingered on her. It wasn't a particularly good sensation; it felt possessive and domineering. As attractive as he was, Usagi didn't want to know how he'd behave if he ever got close enough.

"Of course," she promised, trying to remain nonchalant. "I'll keep a better eye on him."

"So will I," Makoto seconded.

Before they could discuss the matter further, the sliding doors opened for the millionth time, and all the pent-up anxiety and tension Usagi had felt whooshed from her body in a single breath.

Mamoru was here. He was alive.

Despite the pronounced limp in his gait, Usagi recognized the determined, if not a little nervous face he was wearing. He was a man on a mission.

This could be it. What if it all came back to him and he was here to profess his undying love?

She tried to morph her face into one of unattached curiosity when his eyes locked on hers. He barely gave her a nod, making his way to the counter.

Not exactly encouraging, but that didn't mean anything! He surely had theories and suspicions. Mamoru had told her at the Starlight Tower of the prophetic dreams he'd always had. Maybe he was having them now?

Only one way to find out.

Just as she was sliding out of her seat, Rei's hand took a soft grip on her forearm.

"Usagi," she warned, a gentle caution in her violet eyes. "We're here for you no matter what."

There was a lot more meaning within Rei's simple statement: prepare yourself for the worst, don't be too hopeful, please don't get your heart broken all over again.

She squeezed Rei's hand. "Just hold onto some hope for me, okay?" She couldn't look at the other girls; didn't want to see the doubt likely painted on their faces. It was fine. Usagi would have enough hope for the five of them, for the entire world if she had to.

Because the alternative was too unbearable.

She took a deep breath as she slid from the booth, straightening her shirt, and gathering every ounce of courage she could spare.

Mamoru's back was to her, hunched over and stiff, and Motoki's brow was creased with concern. Crap, were they having an argument? Usagi halted in her tracks, suddenly questioning if approaching him was the right move. But then Motoki gave his trademark smile and left to take someone's order, and Mamoru's shoulders relaxed slightly.

Good. Alright Usagi, this is it.

She slinked into the empty stool next to him and made her best attempt to be smooth as she spun in her chair, resting her elbows back against the counter.

"Why are you limping?" She asked, a little smugly.

"Got jumped by a gang of thugs," Mamoru smirked at her, sipping his coffee. "Apparently I owe their leader money. I was lucky, though, they said they'd give me three days to come up with the cash before they broke down my door."

Usagi stared blankly at him, stupefied. Was he really making a joke right now?

"Don't worry," he winked at her, and a warm flush bloomed in her chest. "I gave them your address."

"Dummy," she spat, not knowing what else to say. Was he teasing her? He had to be. Maybe he was waiting on her to reveal something and put the final piece of the puzzle together?

Usagi suddenly felt extremely awkward, not knowing what to do with her body under his scrutinous gaze. She looked around and grabbed the first thing she saw, a menu that had long become redundant to her, having memorized it at the age of 14.

"I fell and sprained my ankle while I was jogging," Mamoru sighed. "I was cutting through some grass and didn't see the gopher hole until I had face planted. That's the less cool story."

And the totally fake story. He was totally messing with her, he had to be.

Fine, I'll play along.

"It's hard to imagine you, of all people, having a klutz attack," she grinned at him, eyes narrowed.

"More your ballpark, I know," he gave a dramatic sigh.

"Does it hurt?" She was dying to know.

"Not too bad anymore." He took another sip of his coffee.

Usagi felt her jaw clench. Come on, Mamoru, give me more! Why was he being so stubborn and refusing to tell her anything? She just stared at him, silently willing him to open up.

Mamoru looked back at her, his eyes warm, a rare treat when directed her way. This was a good sign. She definitely didn't miss when his gaze darted to her lips.

"Speaking of klutz, what happened to your lip?" He cocked an eyebrow. "Walk into another light post?"

Oh right, her busted lip.

Her busted lip!

If he hadn't realized before that she had left the bloody kiss on his cheek, he surely would now!

"Why are you looking at my mouth?" She countered, hoping her attempt at flirtation was selling.

"Because there's a big, gaping sore on it, Odango Brain," he snorted.

"Ew!" Her hand self consciously covered the injury. "Don't say it like that!" Why did Mamoru only want to embarrass her? Her heart was sinking with each passing nanosecond. "I'll have you know, this time it was a mailbox," she lied defensively.

Mamoru let out a laugh; a joyous, musical sound at her expense. "I'd hate to see what the mailbox looks like."

All at once, Usagi's body was as heavy as lead, her stomach threatening to violently expel the lunch she'd eaten so quickly. Her face was hot, and her chest felt like it was weighed down by a thousand pounds of concrete, crushed irreparably under the intense pressure.

Nothing had changed.

Mamoru was as clueless as ever, and Usagi was still the pining, lovesick thorn in his side. Rei was right. It had been foolish to hold out so much hope for a stupid, brain-damaged man who felt nothing for her; had never done anything for her since his memory of her was erased.

She needed to leave before the tears came, before he could laugh in her face and stomp her into the floor more than he already had. But her body wouldn't move. Her mind spun, her vision going black around the edges–

"-bleeding." Mamoru's voice called to her from far away.

Something flimsy and brown waved in front of her, and it took her mind a moment to realize he was holding a napkin. That's when she tasted the blood. She didn't even feel the sting of the wound she'd accidentally bitten open.

Pull yourself together. Do not let him see you crumble.

"Thanks," she swiped the napkin from his grasp and held it to her lip, blood soaking through it instantly. Mamoru's feelings for her had not changed, and his interaction with Sailor Moon left him seemingly unaffected.

Put on a brave face and get yourself out.

Usagi forced her body out of the stool and took a moment to collect herself before she faced him with a forced smile. "Glad you're okay, baka!" She spun on her heel and trotted away with a deliberate spring in her step, never giving Mamoru the chance to respond.

The thick, silent tears came the second she turned her back to him. The pain in her heart far outweighed any embarrassment she felt at facing the girls. They were the only people who understood. Her true friends would always be there for her. Usagi didn't even know what jumbled words poured out of her mouth as she sputtered through her tears, trying to force back the sobs until she could escape. She faintly heard Makoto volunteering to leave with her, which Usagi gratefully accepted.

They were out the door in seconds. After storming out and around the block, Usagi came to an abrupt halt, spinning and falling directly into Mako's arms. That's when the dam broke, passersby and witnesses be damned. Usagi wept, her sobs choking and heaving in her chest. She hadn't cried like this since she was a child with big feelings and emotions too big for her body.

Of course…how could Usagi ever believe Mamoru would look at her with the same adoration as Sailor Moon? How many times would she be forced to mourn him? Was she cursed in every life she ever lived to lose him just as she got him back? How could one person give her so much pain?

Usagi hardly registered that she was being carried. Makoto had hoisted her onto her back and walked her home, letting Usagi squeeze her neck and hide in her shoulder. When they were safely inside, she thanked the gods that her parents were out and Shingo was spending the weekend with a friend. Her sobs had lessened, but the tears still flowed heavily down her blotchy face, the salty taste in her mouth all too familiar. Mako carried her up to bed, removed her shoes and socks, and tucked her in.

"Mako–!" she cried out as Makoto turned to leave the room.

"I'm getting a glass of water for you, I'll be right back," she smiled warmly.

Usagi settled back onto her pillow and Luna quietly nuzzled next to her head, purring in an attempt to comfort her, and not asking questions.

Mako returned with her water, which Usagi drained in two quick gulps, dehydrated from her episode. Mako stayed with her, stroking her hair and softly humming as she fell into a restless sleep.

"Luna?" Usagi spoke weakly from her spot in the bath, hugging her knees to her chest. "Why did you never restore his memories like you did for us?"

Her guardian perched at the edge of the tub, regret set in her deep, ruby eyes. "Usagi.."

"Please just tell me. I won't blame you."

"I didn't want you to know," Luna spoke carefully. "But I tried, Usagi."

Usagi's head snapped towards her. "You what?"

Luna sighed, speaking slowly. "Back when the Black Moon first attacked, I thought you would need him by your side. So while you were at school one day, I set out to find him. I tried to reach his mind, Usagi, I really did. He just gave me a funny look and said 'weird cat for a weird girl.'"

Usagi let out a humorless laugh, her lower lip quivering.

"I think," Luna continued, "it didn't work because he's not a Lunar guardian; he never was. Mamoru and his powers have always been bound to Earth, so he couldn't be awakened using Lunar magic. I'm sorry, Usagi, I should have told you back then. You were already so devastated…I guess I just wanted you to hold onto any shred of hope you had left."

Usagi rested her head on her knees, turning to face Luna. "That would have been a nice surprise if it had worked."

She felt so numb after the crushing blow Mamoru had served her, but maybe this was a much needed reality check. If Mamoru hadn't been in the park that day and encountered Sailor Moon, would Usagi have spent the rest of her life yearning for the day he would magically wake up and return to her?

The idea that Mamoru would one day marry another woman had seemed too absurd and far in the future for her to ever let it threaten her mental health. Now it wasn't just a scary afterthought, but most likely a devastating reality. He would outgrow Crown Fruits Parlor, pursue his medical career, and leave her behind forever. Some smarter, prettier woman would come along and sweep Mamoru off his feet, and she would have his babies while Usagi fought monsters into her middle age, likely getting killed by some youma in the process.

Mamoru had had girlfriends, albeit few and far between, and everyone knew he was a catch. Usagi had handled seeing him with other girls to the best of her maturity: by bringing dates of her own into Crown so he would see what a catch she was, and wow, baka, look at what you're missing. Do you see how Haru watches me walk away? Look how adoringly Kae looks into my eyes!

Those days were over. It was time to let Mamoru go for good. Pining for the rest of her life would do her no favors. Usagi had an enemy to defeat.

Four battles in one week.

If the Black Moon Clan was attempting to kill her slowly via exhaustion, they were succeeding. Usagi could hardly pay attention in her classes and sleep was now a rare luxury, plagued by nightmares of the enemy and the man she refused to obsess over.

Last night, Prince Demande had almost been close enough to touch her. For the first time, she took in the unique amethyst shade of his eyes, the jagged cut of his silver hair, and full, pale lips curled into a menacing grin. His gaze had her frozen, his intensity locking her in place as he soundlessly approached. For once, she actually felt lucky when Esmeraude's droid pummeled her with its swinging limb and sent her flying. Getting the wind knocked out of her was worth it, snapping her back to reality.

Prince Demande terrified Usagi in a way no enemy had before. His enchanting gaze spoke not only of possession, but ownership. Trapped under his spell, she came to the horrific realization that he wanted her in every way he could have her: her power, her body, and her very soul. And she had almost given it to him.

She could never allow him that close to her again.

To say Usagi was on edge was the understatement of the century. She felt bad for snapping at her mother that morning when all she had done was ask if she was getting enough sleep. Finals were only three weeks away and she was desperately behind on her studying. If one more person asked her if she was getting enough sleep, if she had lost weight, or nagged about how important school was, she was going to lose it.

Studying with the girls was out of the question. Truthfully, they'd seen so much of each other the last week that nobody really wanted to hang out. One of the many benefits of their Senshi bond was that this didn't need to be verbally communicated. They all knew when to give each other space, and Usagi was grateful for it.

So she had decided to haul her books down to Crown, order her usual comfort foods, and slide into a corner booth to be left alone to study. The chatter of others would help her focus, and she knew he had class this afternoon and wouldn't bump into her.

The open textbook before her held nothing to draw her in. The previous owner of this book hadn't been kind enough to highlight all the important stuff, so that task, unfortunately, fell to Usagi. She rubbed her hands over her face in frustration. Why was she even taking an economics course?

The booth was too comfortable, and her eyelids felt too heavy. The large basket of fries she had ordered suddenly seemed unappealing. She had read the same page four times and hadn't absorbed any of its contexts.

Maybe it was her exhaustion, or the understanding that she would never comprehend what she was trying to read, but all at once, her emotions toppled over the edge, caving in on her. She tried to subtly cover her face so no one who looked over could see the tears pooling in her eyes and sliding down her cheeks. Between school, the constant fighting, fear of Demande, and shoving down her feelings for Mamoru, Usagi felt as if the weight of the world was on her shoulders, and she'd never felt more alone in her life.

Then a low, all too familiar voice broke through her spiraling trance.

"You know, you're supposed to turn the pages when the words run out."

Thank you for patience with this chapter! A close family member was hospitalized so things have been a bit rough on us. This story is my saving grace. And I promise, things start looking up in the next chapter!

I also wanted to bring attention to the first ever Sailor Moon Rare Pair week coming up, hosted by heavenly_pearl. The event runs the same as the overall Rare Pair week, March 27th-April 2nd. I know a lot of authors contributing, and I'll be posting my piece on March 31st, so be on the lookout for some NSFW Reinako coming your way!

Then April 10th-16th is the first ever Dendy Week, hosted by Lin_Lamont. Get ready for loads of steamy Dark Endymion themed fics. I'll be contributing 3 fics, two of them being VERY NSFW!