A/N: I know I owe an update on Game, but one chapter for this turned into 5 and I couldn't stop. Game coming next, then a one shot I've been working on.
We love smut.
I live for suggestions and reviews.
Happy Reading!
A few weeks later, Liv was sat at the dinner table, mid week, with her two littles.
You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.
Noah had gotten better after his talks with his big brothers, but has regressed after not seeing Elliot for almost a week.
He'd had to go undercover for a few days and when he came up, he was swamped in the office, pulling all nighters with his crew.
To make matters worse, somehow, Eli has enrolled in a 2-week intensive soccer camp after school each day. With Elliot not staying over, it meant Eli wasn't staying over either.
She and Noah had just had an argument prior to sitting down at the table. The little boy was in tears as he ate his spaghetti. Emma sighed watching him, glancing from him to their mom.
She missed El, too, but she understood her parent's work and knew they'd be in a more permanent situation, soon enough.
He'd called them every night around 5, but tonight he was in an interrogation and couldn't get away. Noah had had a full on meltdown when she told him, even tossing out a "I wish you hadn't adopted me," line.
Olivia's heart was in two and she was close to tears herself as she ate quietly. She knew he didn't mean it- that this was overwhelming for the young boy. She couldn't blame him- it was overwhelming for her and El, too. But right now, she couldn't help her frustration.
They'd developed a great co-parenting relationship and this week had put them to the ultimate test. Aside from all the kid, busy schedule, and house hunting bullshit— she just missed her partner.
She was just about to say something when they heard keys in the lock. All three heads shot up as an exhausted looking Elliot walked in with Eli in tow.
Noah about knocked his chair over, sprinting to him and crying. "Daddy…" he muffled into his chest. He hugged the young boy tightly and Eli made a slit throat motion at Liv and Emma from behind him, indicating a bad mood.
Olivia knew him like the back of her hand and braced herself. Her frustration has gotten the best of her earlier and some unsavory texts had been sent his way after Noah's meltdown. She knew this was the reason he cut his interrogation short and came over- it was just 6:30.
She was surprised when he pulled away and gently, but sternly and fatherly said to Noah, "I'm not happy with your behavior towards mommy. Go to your room. I will be in in a few so we can talk about this. You can finish dinner after. Am I understood?"
Noah nodded, his tears welling up again. "C-can I give Eli a hug."
Elliot hesitated and then shook his head. "After we talk. Go."
His tears began to spill out again and he ran off to his room. Eli snuck past his father to say hi to Liv and Emma, before looking at his dad.
El got up and slowly walked over to the table. He wrapped Emma in a tight hug, kissing the top of her head.
He smiled tiredly down at her when he released her and looked at Liv. "A word?" He asked, and began walking to her room.
Liv sucked in a huge breath and followed him. He shut the door and she looked up at him, biting her lip.
"I need your permission to parent him. I know I'm not his dad on paper," he paused, referencing their fight from an hour before, "but you've allowed me to be his dad in life. We're moving in together and I don't plan on going anywhere so I need your permission and support to have this conversation with him."
She began to talk but he held a hand up. "I know you can handle it and stand up for yourself, but sometimes a boy needs his father to show him that is no way to treat any woman, especially your mother. And what he said to you earlier is not how any son of mine will speak to you."
She nodded and slowly closed the space between them, resting her hands on his chest. "I'm sorry…" she whispered and he sighed, wrapping his arms around her.
"I know… it's been a hard week and I understand. And I'm going to talk to Ayanna about not going under again. But it still hurt, Liv."
She nodded and hid her face in his chest. "I know, I'm so sorry…".
He nodded and tilted her chin up, accepting her apology with a sweet kiss.
"Will you stay tonight," she whispered against his lips and he nodded.
"Standing right here, Captain."
The pair emerged and Liv gave the two elder kids a thumbs up before sitting back at the table.
El headed towards Noah's room and Eli sighed. "I told him to go easy on him…"
Liv reached to grasp his hand. "He will."
He walked in to find Noah face down in his pillow and still crying. He sat at the edge of his bed.
"Sit up, buddy.." he whispered.
Noah slowly sat up, looking at him. "Please don't yell at me…"
Elliot shook his head. "I'm not going to. That isn't going to accomplish anything. But we need to talk and son, you need to know that this behavior will never be acceptable in my house."
Noah nodded, starting to cry again. "Listen… stop crying." Elliot said gently and he sniffled, wiping his face.
"There's a time for tears and a time for manning up and admitting you're wrong. Okay?" He said to him and Noah nodded again, taking a moment to compose himself.
Once he had, El spoke again. "Why did you say what you did to mommy… about wishing she never adopted you?" He asked him.
Noah hung his head, ashamed and embarrassed. "I don't know…"
"There has to be a reason, Noh…"
"It's dumb," he muttered and El shook his head again. "If it's causing you to be sad and say hurtful things it's not dumb, son."
He paused, thinking for a bit and then looked up at his dad. "It's just not fair. At least before we found out you were Emma's dad, I wasn't the only one without a real parent but now…" he groaned. "I just wish you guys were my real mom and dad too…" he whispered.
El sighed and wrapped his arms around the little boy. "We are, Noah. Blood means nothing. Paper means nothing. All that matters is that we're here with you every day, loving you and raising you. You're our real son in every way, Noah."
"But you're not here everyday," he said, looking up at him with tear filled eyes.
El's jaw dropped a bit and he frowned, "I.. I know… and I'm sorry Noh… I'm working on it. And we're working on getting a place. But until then you gotta be kinder to mommy. Until I can be here full time you need to be strong and patient. And if you're mad or sad or missing me… call me and be upset with me. Not your mommy. She doesn't deserve it."
Noah nodded tearing up again and burying his head in his chest. "I'm sorry daddy…" he whispered and El shook his head. "It's okay… it's okay… I need you to say that to Mommy though, alright?"
Noah nodded, remaining clutched to his dad for another several minutes before he pulled back and wiped his eyes. "W-will you take me to school tomorrow?" He asked him softly and El couldn't help his smile. "Absolutely."
El walked out with Noah in front of him to find Liv washing dishes, Eli finishing homework, and Em in the shower.
El gave Eli a nod of the head, and he retreated into the room he and Noah shared when they stayed over. They'd recently gotten bunk beds, which overjoyed both boys, surprisingly.
El gave Noah a gentle push and he walked forward, clearing his throat. "Mommy…" he said in a small voice, causing her to turn.
She set the towel down and leaned back against the counter.
"Are you ok baby?" She asked gently, kneeling to his level. He flew into her arms and let the tears go. "I'm so sorry mom…" he whispered and she sighed, hugging him tightly.
"It's okay baby… I forgive you. I do. You just gotta talk to us instead of lashing out…" she whispered into his hair and he nodded.
"D-dad said I could call him if I was sad instead of taking it out on y-you cause it's not nice." He sniffled and Liv nodded in agreement.
"It's not… but I hope you'll talk to me if something is hurting you…" she asked him gently.
He shook his head. "I told dad and he made me feel a lot better," he said hesitantly before continuing. "He said you guys are my mom and dad cause you raise me and love me every day not cause of blood or paper."
Liv's eyes filled with tears and she looked over his curls at her partner, who nodded.
"Oh baby…" she whispered as she squeezed him. "He's right… we both loved you the minute we saw you. And that's what matters baby…"
He nodded, finally pulling back. "Go shower… I think Emma is done. I'll reheat your food and you and dad can eat when you're done okay?"
He hugged her again, nodding and heading to the bathroom.
She stood quickly and turned so her back was to Elliot. She popped his plate in the microwave with a shakey hand. The tears released like a flood when he came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.
"Don't cry… please?" He pleaded into her ear, but the tears spilled harder and faster. He spun her around and she buried her head in the crook of his neck.
Whispering soothing words to her, he rubbed her back softly until she stopped shaking and relaxed in his arms. They stood in each others embrace for a while longer before she spoke.
"Ive been dreading that day since I brought him home…" she whispered and he shook his head. "He didn't mean it."
"I know… but it still hurts," she said, echoing his words from earlier.
He squeezed her tightly and kissed her head. "I talked to Eli… we're just gonna start staying here full time."
She looked up at him, shocked, and he laughed a little at the mascara that had pooled under her eyes. Using his thumb, he gently wiped away the smudge and kissed her nose.
"I don't like being a single parent. You don't like it. I miss our kids. Eli misses you. I miss all of you. He's fine with sharing with the 9 year old until we can get a bigger place," he nodded, "let's just rip the bandaid and do-" his words were cut off by her lips that pressed strongly to his.
He let out a soft and involuntary moan, kissing her back and letting his hands drop to her waist. She physically relaxed in his arms and pulled back. "I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders," she whispered into his chest.
He let out a content sigh and held her. "I'm sorry you were carrying it in the first place. That's my job." He looked down at her and she shook her head.
"Equal jobs. We're partners." She smiled small, pulling back as Noah came out in his PJs.
She kissed his head. "I'm gonna go shower. Enjoy dinner with dad okay? I'll be in to say goodnight in a bit." He nodded and hugged her tightly. "I love you mom…" he whispered and she hugged him back. "I love you more, sweet boy."
She came from the shower to hear Noah and El reading together from his Harry Potter book.
Deciding to let them be for a bit more, she went into Emma's room and curled beside her.
"You okay mommy?" She asked and Liv chuckled. "Yes baby… are you?"
She nodded and played with her mom's hair gently. "Yeah.. just want Noah to be okay," she said and paused for a moment. "I'm sorry he said that to you."
Liv shook her head. "It's okay. It's over and done with," she nodded. "You're doing okay with all of this? There's been a ton of change lately."
Emma nodded. "I'm really happy… I feel like we were always missing something you know but… now we aren't."
"Wise beyond her years," Liv mused and she smiled at the baritone that responded to her statement.
"Like her mommy," El said from the door.
Emma looked up grinning. "Hi daddy," she said holding her arms out and scooting over. He climbed in on the other side of her and kissed her cheek.
"I was just telling the boys that I'm off Saturday and we should have a kids and dad day… what do you think?" He asked and Emma grinned, nodding. "Yes please!!!"
Liv smiled, watching them interact. She loved it more than she could ever put into words. They'd become best friends in such a short amount of time, and it made her heart swell and 10 years of tears and stress worth it.
"Maybe we can even meet up with the big kids for lunch huh? Sounds good?"
Emma smiled bigger and hugged him. "That would be super awesome, dad"
He kissed her head. "Alright, get some sleep- I'm taking you guys to school tomorrow so maybe we can leave early and get a special breakfast." He wiggled his brows causing the girls to giggle.
"Spoiled," Liv said, kissing her head. "Night baby girl, I love you."
"Love you mommy," she smiled hugging her tightly before giving El a squeeze. "Night daddy, love you."
"Night princess," he kissed her head. "I love you more."
The pair said goodnight to the kids, shutting their doors. They got changed into their pajamas and emerged from their room.
Liv sighed, sitting on the couch and El came over after a few with two glasses of wine.
She smiled small at took hers, sipping it and settled against him.
Wrapping his arm around her shoulder, he turned the tv on, putting on their favorite comedy.
Liv yawned and set her wine glass down, curling up into him a little more snuggly. He tightened his grip on her and gently played with her hair until her breathing went steady and he knew she was asleep.
He set his own glass down and set an alarm on his phone before leaning back a bit and closing his eyes.
They woke when his alarm went off at 6:30. She groaned, both from the thought of being awake and the position they'd slept in all night.
He blindly reached over to shut his alarm off and yawned. They both sat up, stretching a bit before he readjusted on the couch and she settled on her stomach on top of him.
"Let's take the day off," she muttered against his chest.
He breathed out a sleepy chuckle. "Olivia Benson? Is that you?"
She laughed softly and shook her head. "Shush," she teasingly scolded him, and he tightened his grip around her.
"If I didn't have to finish up this case I'd force you to follow through and spend the day in bed with me," he whispered against her hair and she let out a soft giggle.
They were quiet for a while and she looked up at him. "I get to wake up to you every day for the rest of my life," she said softly, smiling.
He grinned down at her and kissed her nose. "Hell yes," he said, beaming and kissing her softly.
His morning wood was hard against her belly, and twitched the moment their lips touched.
"Detective…" she whispered and he smiled against her lips.
"Think we have time?" He asked in husky voice and she nodded. "If we're fast," she whispered, kissing him again and letting out a small moan as his hand slid down her back and under her shirt.
The light flipped on behind them and they pulled away from each other quickly, jumping up like they were on fire. They both groaned when they found Eli laughing in the kitchen. "What are you guys 13?"
Liv was red with embarrassment and laid back down, hiding her face in his chest as Elliot laughed.
"Dude I almost pulled my gun on you!" He cried and Eli shook his head. "Yeah that what you were gonna pull." He teased and Elliot flipped him the bird, settling back in with Liv.
"Make some coffee huh?" He called to his middle son who laughed. "Yes, sir."
Liv was laughing now and holding onto him. "Im gonna shower and get ready, you're taking them to breakfast?"
He nodded. "Was thinking donuts on the way to school."
She nodded thoughtfully and picked up her phone looking at her schedule. "What time do you have to be in?" She asked, scrolling through her calendar.
"They're picking the perp from lock up at 9am, so 9:30?" He said and she nodded looking up at him.
"Want me to bring back breakfast and coffee and we can hang for a bit?" He asked and she smiled big, stretching up to kiss him.
"Perfect, baby," she said smiling.
He watched her as she stood and stretched. "Jesus my back is killing me," she laughed and he shook his head. "Yeah I don't think I can stand…"
They both were cracking up at one another as she helped him up and the little kids emerged from their rooms.
"You guys are weird," Noah giggled, going over to hug them good morning.
"No they're old," Eli said laughing and Emma cracked up, yawning, and going to hug her mom.
"Alright guys go get ready if we want donuts for breakfast!" El said and they both grinned, sprinting away.
The family got ready and Liv came out in her short bathrobe after her shower, giving them kisses goodbye. "Bye guys, have good days."
"See you tonight, honey," she said to Eli who grinned and looked at the littles.
"You're staying tonight??" Emma asked him with a grin and he smiled. "Dad and I are gonna stay here permanently and maybe that'll make them get a new place sooner," he teased and Noah jumped up into El's arms, hugging tightly.
El gave him a squeeze and kissed the side of his head, then set him down so he could hug Emma. "Okay! Donuts!"
The kids headed to the door, waving and saying final goodbyes to Liv. El leaned in and pecked a kiss to her lips. "See you soon momma."
She smiled kissing him back and watched four of the loves of her life head out to start their day.