Chapter Four- Feelings Exposed

It was not long after that he encountered on Jess- the pair of them were washing bedpans. He felt terrible and as wondering just what he had done to upset her. When he opened his mouth to speak, she began to talk quietly, though she refused to look at him. "It was nothing, Dan. Don't worry about it."

Determined, Dan refused to give in. "No, Jess, it wasn't nothing. You looked really upset back there- what have I done? Was it something I said?" Turning a slightly pink colour, which Dan could not comprehend, she muttered something about being overtired. "If it isn't that, then what's bothering you, Jess?"

"I told you Dan, it's nothing, all right?" She turned to leave the room. Despairing, Dan grabbed hold of her arms. "Please, Jess, I want to know what's wrong." While she pulled out of his grip and resumed her scrubbing at the sink, at least she was in the room. "Well… it seems like you and Cate were having a good time together back there." Completely confused, Dan said nothing. It was hard to resist the temptation to say 'So?' When Dan didn't comment, Jess continued. "The pair of you seem to go well together." It was a moment before Dan understood, and when he realised what was bothering Jess he couldn't help but laugh. She had got it so wrong! But a second later he wished he hadn't. Though her back was turned to him, Jess's voice was becoming high pitched.

"I guess you think it's funny… I just don't understand, Dan, I thought we were meant to be friends or whatever- perhaps I was wrong…" She turned to leave, and Dan found himself having to think extremely fast. The situation was turning from bad to worse, and this conversation was not going the way he had hoped it to. "Look Jess, whatever you saw back there, you took it completely the wrong way. Cate's just my mate- you know that. We were just having a laugh together, that's all." Thinking the same technique might work twice; he put on a fake joker voice. "Jess, you should have seen it… Jack in the bushes with Deanna…" He broke off. For the second time he wished he hadn't spoken at all. Jess strode out of the room without saying a word, though wiping some tears from her face.

Her head still reeling from what had just happened, Jess took her break early. She strode into the hospital grounds, the cold wind stinging her face. She needed some time to breathe… to calm down…

But no matter which way she looked at it, Jess couldn't find any positive in what had just happened. She couldn't believe the way she had spoken and acted. If Dan hadn't before, he'd hate her now. Stupid, stupid, stupid… why had she had to say anything at all? If Dan was telling the truth, and there was nothing going on between him and Cate, he'd think her completely paranoid. He would also wonder why her, Jess, took such an interest in him. If she had ever exposed her feelings in such a raw and unromantic way, now was the time. She felt completely humiliated. She wouldn't be able to look him in the eye again. He had wanted to know what was wrong… well, if he wasn't completely stupid he'd figure it out. He'd put two and two together- it must have been so obvious. Jealousy about a relationship like that usually only meant one thing. Tears ran down Jess's face. What could she do to improve this? To repair the damage she had just done?

Forcing herself to take deep and slow breaths, Jess sat down on a bench and tried to think.

Dan's mind was hardly on his job. He couldn't think straight. He had been so surprised, shocked even, by what Jess had said that he could think of nothing else. He tried not to let himself jump to conclusions, though his heart beat fast. He could be completely wrong… or completely right.

It seemed Jess had jumped to the wrong conclusion, and Dan didn't want to make the same mistake. He tried to think logically and put the events into order. Jessica had seen him, Dan and Cate, laughing together. Now how could she have seen this? Well, it was a guess, but a pretty obvious one- she must have thought that he and Cate had something going on, romantically. This matter was laughable, but Dan was not in a particularly humorous mood.

Now, what could have caused Jess to think this? More importantly, what had caused her to react the way she did? He tried to think of how most friends would act if they guessed their mate was in a relationship. That was a hard one, as when he had that assumption with Jess it hurt, but then again, she wasn't any ordinary friend. Most friends would be… Then the memory of this morning came to him.

He thought of Jack and Deanna. The whole idea was almost comical. Indeed, it seemed most likely a friend would be secretly grinning- just how funny it was that the pair were together, trying not to laugh and teasing their friend about what happened (as Dan would do to Jack as soon as he got the chance), not walking away in tears and hurt by it. Perhaps Jess was upset because she thought this could affect their friendship- but Dan did not think this likely at all. This left one option- Dan felt his heart race, and tried desperately but failed to not jump to this conclusion. It must mean… it had to mean… that Jess felt the same way about him as he did about her. This would explain the jealousy, the hurt that had appeared on Jess's face. But slowly, Dan's heart sunk. He could be completely wrong, and he wasn't sure if Jess would still feel the same after he had treated her, after how casually he'd considered her feelings. He had laughed at her, laughed at her! What kind of friend, let alone boyfriend, did that?

He couldn't deal with this anymore, not now. Feeling frustrated and like he had caused himself to miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime, Dan shoved all of it to the back of his mind and went to look after one of his patients.

Time was ticking away, and her break was due to end soon. Jess had calmed herself down, and had worked out an action plan.

She would completely pretend the whole thing hadn't happened. There was a tiny possibility that Dan might feel the same way- though Jess completely doubted this- so it was business as usual. She made a vow never to expose such emotion ever again, in such a way. It would be embarrassing and awkward, for a time, but it couldn't be helped. She just prayed that her friendship with Dan could survive.