Misery, Company and Pranking a Spaceman

Officially including John in their private war complicated everything, because unlike them, John had a much higher level of access to their lives than they did to his while being nearly inaccessible himself. Pranking their full time spaceman was nearly impossible, not only because of the distance but because of the need to not disrupt emergency calls and the strictures on the use of IR equipment.

Still, 'nearly impossible' wasn't the same as 'impossible' (a concept which IR routinely treated as opt-in anyway) which was all a very roundabout explanation as to why the family was treated to the sight of a laughing-to-the-point-of-holding-his-sides Scott getting reamed out by a freaked out EOS after John's most recent coffee delivery to Five turned his tongue blue.

It didn't help his efforts to unruffle her digital feathers that Scott found the irony of being called 'infantile', 'juvenile' and 'immature' by a being who'd only been sentient for a year and a half absolutely hilarious.

He eventually calmed the AI down long enough to explain about the prank war and the uptick in their mental health whenever they did something like this and she'd begrudgingly allowed it.

To his surprise, an hour later she called him back with a list of ideas of things he could try on John.

Gordon had judged that one a double win for Scott.

0o0o0

The baby of the family with the face to match, Alan had several advantages over his siblings.

1- As the smallest (for now) he could slip into places they couldn't,

2- He'd had all of them to learn from,

3- When he wanted to look innocent, he could look convincingly innocent. All the rest of them (bar Kayo) just couldn't hide that guilty twitch.

Something that his other brothers also forgot was that while he was Terrible Twosome through and through, he was also one half of The Space Bros and right now John commanded his loyalty. Today he was acting as Big Bro #2's proxy in his first independent strike against Scott.

(He would only ever act against Scott though. No way was he going up against their sister- there was crazy, Alan Tracy Crazy and just plain stupid. As far as Alan was concerned, him vs Kayo came under the third category, John would have to deal with her himself.)

Today's mission required a crawl through the underfloor ducting for the various data cables and what not that linked the bedrooms to the comms system. It wasn't entirely the most pleasant, but it was the best way to sneak into someone else's bedroom without using the door and no one else but him fitted. Aside from John, he was pretty sure that everyone else had forgotten that he could still squirm through.

"Okay Alan, the coast is clear." John murmured over the earbud he was using.

"F.A.B." Alan slowly levered up the access hatch and came out in Scott's wardrobe. A little careful reaching let him open the door and he slithered out on his belly so as to not get dust all over Scott's good suits. His first stop was to the bathroom to wash the telltale dust off his hands, then he crept across to the chest of drawers, package in hand. A little careful work and the trap was set in Scott's pyjama drawer. He retraced his steps, closed the wardrobe door and access hatch behind him as he slid feet first back into the duct, then very carefully rolled over and crawled his way back into his room.

Four hours later, Alan and John (who was beaming in) waited with baited breath in Alan's room, the door cracked so they could listen in as Scott went into his room to grab a blanket and change into PJs- Gordon had declared that tonight's family movie night was a pyjama party.

The muffled yelp of surprise and 'Okay, that was a good one' when Scott opened the drawer and was met with a faceful of spring loaded colourful 'snakes' from a 'snakes in a can' prank was worth every iota of effort.

0o0o0

It wasn't because he was afraid of Kayo. No. Not at all. At least that's what John comforted himself with. Healthy caution and respect was sensible and logical and not at all being afraid of 'Tanusha I-can-do-a-four-inch-break Kyrano'.

Just like handling fire. Or neutrazine. Do it properly with healthy caution and respect and it's all okay and perfectly safe.

In any case, he was fairly sure that no one had noticed him slipping down on the space elevator. He'd silenced the usual alerts and alarms and no one in the house itself right now- all scattered about the island or on the mainland on various tasks. He knew Kayo would be down this particular track to her favourite cove eventually, so he'd lay his trap of a biodegradable sugar-based glitter bomb and be safely up on Five with an air-tight alibi when she eventually triggered it. It would be the perfect crime.

The glitter bomb set, concealed and primed, John carefully made his way back up the path, hoping his luck would hold and he'd make it back to his Thunderbird without notice.

Only to stop short when he turned a corner and entered a little glade that lay just below the house.

"Hi John." Alan chirped, grinning broadly from his seat on a low hanging branch of a pōhutukawa tree, his legs swinging back and forth and looking the very picture of innocence.

"Alan?" John stopped short, baffled. "What are you doing here? I thought you were training with Virgil."

"Oh, I was." Alan nodded. "We finished early."

"Why?" The second eldest frowned, he was sure he'd calculated this perfectly.

"So I could be the distraction." Was Alan's impish response, pointing to a spot over John's shoulder.

John instinctively turned to look and was met with a grinning Virgil who burst from concealment behind him. He easily picked up the spacesuit-clad second eldest and swung him over his shoulder in a fireman's carry.

"Hi John!" Virgil ignored the stream of very angry sounding German being fired at him. "Remember the promise I made you?" He said as he carried the furiously struggling John to the other end of the glade.

John stilled his struggles long enough to crane his neck and see their destination- and swore in at least three languages when he saw the large mud puddle waiting for him. "NO! Virgil don't you dare! I'll kill you!" He promised.

"You can try!" Virgil grinned at him, easily swung him down into a bridal carry and extended his arms to drop his wriggling, vigorously protesting burden. "Happy landings!"

As far as Virgil was concerned, John made a very satisfying splat as he landed in the deep, thick mud and his outraged howl of 'That's COLD!' was a perfect cherry on top.