A/N: Welcome back. I promise I'll finish the next chapter of Game. Maybe.
The family, by some miracle, made the 11am mass.
They took two separate cars so that Liv could take Eli and Sammi out to lunch and ice cream after.
"Baby you're sure you don't want to go out just the two of you?" Liv asked her middle son, who she realized she was starting to have to crane her neck to look up at.
He chuckled. "Nah I want you both there, needing some more advice on Dickie and stuff." He nodded and she smiled small but proudly.
They found Sammi in the crowd and she ran over, hugging Eli before moving to Liv.
"Hi sweetie- I feel like I haven't seen you in forever!" The young girl let out a shy giggle. "Yeah, I've had a ton of homework that I left for the end of the semester cause of school and dance."
Liv laughed and looked from her to her son, "you guys are made for each other."
She hugged El and the littles goodbye, laughing when Noah whispered his ice cream request in her ear. "We'll see, sweet boy. Be good for daddy."
He nodded and the trios headed in separate directions.
"Dickie okay this morning?" Sammi asked when they sat down in the booth.
Eli shrugged. "I mean he was ok as Dickie can be. He was kinda hungover. But he did leave Emma and Sarah to chat and engaged with me and Noah which was nice."
"Hey that's a start…" Liv smiled encouragingly and Sammi agreed.
"What'd you guys talk about yesterday?" He asked, looking across the table at her.
She took a deep breath. "It was a lot baby… I don't want to stress you out cause I haven't even told dad yet… but I think we made good progress."
He frowned softly. "Honesty momma… you can tell us anything, practice what you preach…" he half teased and she chuckled.
"Using my own words against me is evil," she chuckled and mulled over their conversation.
"Dad worked a lot when they were small and now… now you know we still work a lot but we have a better balance. And I was always close with your dad, obviously, but also the girls. And he was so close with your mom...so he feels resentful towards all of us."
Eli nodded thoughtfully, "he was always mom's protector," he said and she nodded. "Exactly, and so he's working through that and wants to try with your dad. But because he and your mom were so close… he's grieving really hard. And I think it kills him inside that he wasn't there to protect her from the incident."
Eli looked down and nodded. Sammi placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, leaning again him slightly. "Talk to him? Just the two of you, get his perspective. I just hate watching you be sad…"
Liv's heart melted at the scene in front of her and Eli nodded. "Ok… ok ok I will," he breathed out a sigh.
Both women grinned and visibly relaxed. "What else did he say?" Eli asked and she shook her head. "Let me tell dad first okay? Come on, let's order I'm starving."
They both nodded.
At home, El and the kids were making peanut butter and jellies.
"Guys, the secret is two layers of peanut butter. So one on each side and then jelly in the middle."
The both nodded and did as they were instructed before settling on the couch for a movie. He texted Liv a selfie of them and she laughed, loving the photo and sending kissy faces.
All three ate quickly and were out like lights just 20 minutes into the cartoon.
Liv walked in to find them passed out on the couch, having dropped Eli off at Sammi's.
She chuckled softly to herself and slipped off her shoes, sitting on the coffee table in front of El and watching them.
Her eyes burned with tears as she admired three of her favorite people. Her hand instinctively moved to her stomach and she sighed. What she would give….
Her train of thought was broken by El's hand on her knee. "You okay?" He whispered and she nodded slowly. "Yeah… yeah I'm okay. Can we go lay in bed? Eli's with Sammi."
He nodded and stood, careful not to wake the littles and grasped her hand, walking to their room.
Laying back on their bed, he watched her strip from her church clothes, choosing one of his t-shirts and a pair of his boxers. He held an arm open to her and she curled under the covers with him, settling one of her legs between his.
"Talk to me?" He asked gently and she shrugged, "I'm okay baby…"
He knew she was lying and had to change his line of questioning. He opted to nod against the top of her head. "How was your chat with Dickie?"
"Hard," she said softly, moving her angle so she could see his face. "But needed. I think he and Eli are gonna hang out tonight and chat…" she said, curling into him again.
"That'll be good… I hate that they're fighting," he said softly and she sighed, sitting up and looking at him.
He raised a brow and she turned to sit criss cross against him, breaking down and recounting their conversation through tears. El was rocked that he knew, but not necessarily surprised.
"I'm trying to not be angry but... I'm so angry for Emma..." she whispered as some tears fell.
He rubbed her knee gently and took a deep breath. "I am too... I..." he shook his head breathing out a sigh.
They were quiet for several minutes, both lost in thought.
"Am I a bad person?" She asked out of the blue and he shook his head. "Not at all how could you think that?"
She shrugged and put her head in her hands. "I feel like one."
"I have 7 kids, a whole squad, and at least 5,000 victims that could say otherwise."
She sniffled and grasped his hand, mouthing a soft thank you through her tears.
"Tell me… what else is bothering you? Why were you holding your belly?" He asked gently and she shook her head.
"Just… thinking about the other night when we were talking about babies. I wish I could have had more with you… I know, I know, I'm so blessed… we are blessed… I just wish…" she shook her head and he sat up to pull her into him.
"You're allowed to wish and hope to me babe, we're a team. I wish it too. But you're right we are so blessed… I'm sorry I made you sad," he said into her hair and she shook her head.
"You didn't. I'd was just something that'd been on my mind for a while. The kids are growing so fast and it just has me wishing you could have been here for every moment. Hearing about it aloud was… made it real."
He frowned and kissed her. "You know if I could, I'd give you as many more babies as we could handle," he said, causing her to laugh.
"I know…" she pecked his lips and they laid back together, again.
"I love you, El."
"I love you, Liv. Now c'mon. Let's enjoy the rest of this lazy Sunday," he said, wrapping his strong arms tightly around her.
They were able to sleep for a few hours and woke up only when Eli came in and gently shook them awake.
Opening their eyes quickly and sitting up, ready to pounce, they sighed when they realized it was just him.
He laughed. "Have cops for parents, they said, it'll be fun, they said."
El smacked him and he laughed. "I just got in.. kids are gaming. I was wondering if you guys minded if I went to dinner with Dick tonight? I know it's a school night, I won't be late."
They both nodded immediately. "Of course bud," El said and Liv nodded. "Text us if you need anything?"
He nodded, "for sure," he said before hugging them goodbye and going out to wait for his brother.
He got home around 8:30, looking visibly relaxed.
Liv smiled up at him from the couch and he gave her a grin, going to sit beside her. She wrapped her arm around him.
"Dads in the shower... you wanna wait till he's out to update us?" He nodded and they sat quietly.
El came out in low riding sweats and sat down. "How'd it go buddy?" He asked his boy, leaning back.
Eli took a deep breath. "He knew about Emma?" He asked, looking at them. They nodded slowly. "Yeah... but we need to move past it," Liv said gently and he nodded.
He was quiet a few more moments and lounged back into Liv's side, facing his dad.
"After we got past the heavy shit... it was nice. I realized I never knew what it was really like to have a big brother you know..." he said after a few minutes.
"Give him a chance," El said softly and Eli nodded. "I'm gonna... I have to right I mean? He's my brother. I would hope Noah would give me a chance, so..."
Liv hugged him tightly. "I'm so proud of you, son."
He hugged her back and stood up. "Thanks momma..." he said kissing her head and going to hug his dad. "Get some sleep, boy," El said and Eli retreated to the room he shared with his baby brother.
El looked at Liv who was smiling small. "Best mom ever," he whispered to her and she couldn't hide the grin that spread at his words.