A/N: Pls keep reviewing I live on them.
They got to their new place to find all the kids waiting and chowing on some Chinese food.
"Save any for your old dad?" He asked looking at the two youngest and causing them to giggle.
Eli handed his parents their cartons and they sat beside him.
"So we're going to look through mom's stuff tonight?" He asked, looking at his dad and he nodded.
"Yeah buddy I thought it would be nice for just me, you, and the big kids to spend some time together, just us," he said cautiously and watched Eli's face fall.
He looked back at his younger siblings and sighed before looking back to them. "Okay I mean well whose gonna watch them?" He asked, assuming Liv would be joining them.
"Baby…" Liv started and her heart broke as his face fell even more. "I just think it would be good to have some alone time… the 6 of you… to do this."
He scoffed and sat his carton down. "That's not fair," he muttered and she looked at his siblings. They nodded and she put a hand on his back. "Eli… I think it'd be good for you all… just being able to bond over stories together and stuff…" she trailed off when he shook her hand off her back.
Liv frowned as she watched him he stand up. "Aren't you all about honesty? Why not just say you don't want to come cause you hated her," he muttered, storming off to his new room.
Everyone was quiet and she sensed Elliott's anger bubbling. He started to stand to go after him but she shot him her captain look. "Don't start, Stabler," she said in a tone that wasn't meant to be trifled with.
The littles side eyed each other and El sat back with a sigh. "Let him relax," she said to everyone, "El, text Lucy the new address, okay? Guys, you'll stay with her tonight."
He nodded obediently and so did the littles, causing the big kids laughed. "Did dad just take an order? With no argument? What did we just watch," Lizzie said chuckling and Mo's husband spoke up. "True love," he teased and Mo smacked him.
The kids finished dinner and left after they helped unload Liv's car. She looked at her fiancé and nodded. "Go with them, Eli and I will be along.
He looked at her hesitantly before nodding. When Lucy arrived, she distracted the kids so Liv could go into Eli's room. He was laying in the middle of the floor listening to music.
"C'mon baby we're going to dads," she said when he took his headphones out.
She could tell he'd been crying, so she sat beside him quietly.
"I'm sorry… that was wrong I didn't mean.. I didn't mean that," he muttered and she shook her head.
"Don't apologize… no need. You're allowed to get upset and have emotions. You don't have to be strong all the time."
He nodded and was quiet for a while before speaking again. "You're a good mom… like you were made to be a mom and I'm so lucky you're mine," he said softly, pausing, "you know sometimes I hate myself cause I find myself wishing you were my real mom," he muttered. "You're just so kind and... I don't know I feel like I connect more with you than I ever did with her. It sucks..."
She wrapped her arms around him tightly. "Your momma loved you more than life," she whispered and he nodded, "but so do you. And you loved her even though she hated you."
She tensed a bit but played it off by squeezing him.
"Sorry…" he whispered, "just something I've been struggling with in my brain…" he trailed off.
"I struggle with things all the time baby," she said, tearing up, "we all do. But it helps to talk about them. Dad and I just had this conversation before we came over," she said and he nodded, laughing a little.
"What do you struggle with…" he asked her softly.
She took a deep breath, debating with herself before remembering his words about honesty earlier.
"Being a mom... a parter... a Captain," she said softly.
His eyes met her and he nodded for her to continue, "I thought I might have been pregnant about a month ago but… it's stupid, I'm old," she laughed halfheartedly. "I didn't tell your dad.. cause of my own insecurities but," she shrugged, pausing to gauge his reaction, "just got me thinking about our family and if there's room for one more and if you guys would even be okay with that…" she trailed off and he took her hand.
"Anyways, my point is is that dad helped me... he talked me down and helped me remember all of the blessings we have... the options we have.. and if you talk to me and him and your siblings, we can help remind you of that stuff too. But you gotta talk it out. Never be ashamed to talk to me."
He nodded slowly, absorbing her words before speaking again.
"It's really funny that you say that, you know, Noah was just talking to me yesterday about how he wants a baby brother," he said causing her to look up at him.
"Really?" She asked breathlessly and he nodded.
They were quiet a moment more before he spoke again. "That would be pretty awesome, not gonna lie," he said with a small smile and she shook her head laughing. "Like I said you were made to be a mom…"
"Yeah well… we'll see," she smiled small at him.
They stayed like that for a beat longer before she spoke again.
"I found myself wishing I had a different mom, like my whole life. She loved alcohol more than me and was miserable almost every second I was around her. But when I got older… I realize she helped shape me you know? Into the mom, cop, and partner I am," she paused and he nodded, listening intently, "Eli I'll claim you as my own every day… and it's an honor that you trust me to be your mom. Just don't forget her, okay?"
He nodded and hugged her before the pair headed out.
When the arrived at El's old apartment, they were greeted with big smiles and hugs.
The 5 adults were sat around some boxes in the middle of the living room. Eli took a seat next to his dad and Liv sat beside him, giving El an encouraging smile.
They sat up, sharing stories, bonding, laughing, crying, and pouring their hearts out until almost 1am.
They'd just gotten to one last box in the pile as they were about to pack up.
"Oh that's mine," El said, quickly, taking it from the box.
They all gave him a looked and then looked at Olivia who quickly ripped it from his hands, causing everyone to laugh hysterically.
"Benson," he gave her a look and she laughed, looking at the kids. "I'm only Benson when he's mad…"
They all groaned, "c'mon open it!" Lizzie said.
"He's not gonna yell while we're here," Dickie said causing everyone to laugh harder.
She gave him a look and he groaned. "It's my keepsake box..."
Unable to resist, she opened it to peak inside before shutting it quickly and looking at him, her eyes filling up. She blinked them away and looked at the kids.
"Alright guys, it's late and we have a long day tomorrow," she said and they all popped up quickly, catching the hint.
"For sure"
"You're right, look at the time."
"Yeah definitely what time should we be back"
"Eli, sleepover?"
They all rushed at once. Eli went home with Dickie and the rest left leaving the couple standing in El's old apartment.
"Lucy sleeping over with the kids?" he whispered and she nodded.
She set the box on the counter and opened it with a shaky breath, to find their faces from 25 years ago staring back.
Pulling out the stack of papers, she found photos of them from almost every year of their partnership.
Cute selfies they took when their FWB lines blurred.
Photos of her with his kids.
All the birthday cards and notes she'd given him, including stickies she'd left on his desk, both nice and mean.
12 years of friendship and love tucked neatly into a box.
At the bottom of the pile was a piece of paper with two small sketches, which she knew to be for tattoos.
The first was their badge numbers written into opposite ends of an infinity sign, and the second was her badge number, repeated to make a heart.
She traced the lines with her fingers and looked up to him.
"I would have gotten them but... Kathy wouldn't have liked that," he whispered and she laughed softly.
Her eyes fell to the first picture. The first year of their partnership. They were babies.
Clean from scars, both physical and emotional, and both trying to navigate a new found relationship with boundaries they didn't want.
"It's always been you and I," he said a little more confidently, his voice thick with emotion, "always."
Her arms circled her waist and they silently held one another for as long as they could.
"If I didn't want another baby with you a few hours ago I definitely do now," she whispered, trying to ease the tension with a joke and causing him to chuckle.
"So let's make a baby," he said, half serious and she laughed softly.
"El…" she said warningly.
"Mrs. Stabler…" he responded in the same tone causing her to laugh again.
"Honey I'm old I've been premenopausal for a long time... it's going to take so many hormones we won't be able to do this naturally and…Jesus we're having a grandbaby…" she trailed off as he shut her up with a kiss.
"We can still practice though… I know we already practiced 3 times today but…" he said against her lips causing her to relax and melt into him.
"Maybe we should," she whispered, "practice that is…"
He growled against her lips and picked her up, taking her to his room and shutting the door.
Dickie woke Eli up with coffee the next morning.
He sat up groggily and stretched, taking it. "What's gotten into you," he said sleepily and Dickie laughed softly, sitting next to him.
"Uh well for one, your hand to my face, and two…" he paused to look at him, "I'm gonna be a dad…"
Eli's jaw dropped and he grinned. "Dude Sarah's pregnant?? No way…" he said in awe.
He nodded smiling, "she's 12 weeks… I'm so happy bro…"
The younger stabler smiled and put a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I'm happy for you… I like dad Dickie," he teased.
He rolled his eyes but smiled. The pair sat in silence for a few minutes before Eli spoke again. "You tell mom and dad?" He asked and he nodded.
"Yesterday… mo…" he paused shaking his head, "Liv was so happy she was crying, and maybe I cried a bit too," he said smiling small.
Eli nodded thoughtfully and Dickie looked at him, "explains a lot," he said more to himself and Dickie raised a brow.
"Dad told me… I take it she told you?"
He nodded and the young men remained quiet for Eli spoke again.
"You know, they've spent their whole damn lives worrying about others and making others happy… I think they deserve to do something they want to do, you know?"
Dickie nodded. "I agree… I mean I think it'd be weird cause they're older but… even now a days I guess it's not that uncommon."
Eli nodded. "You're going soft on me bro… Plus, what's one more kid," he laughed and Dickie snorted. "That's what I said!"
"You think they'll try to like get pregnant or adopt?" Dickie asked and Eli shrugged. "Both. Dad will want her to have another and mom will push for adoption too so Noah isn't the only one."
"Fair point," he nodded. "You really know her, huh?" He asked his younger brother and he nodded.
"Well yeah I live with her and she's my mom so…" Eli said, laughing softly.
Dickie nodded slowly. "Maybe I should hang out with her more?" He asked him and Eli nodded quickly.
"She'd love that. Also, Dick? Never stop therapy," he said, earning him a smack and sending the brothers into a fit of laughter.
"Momma's birthday today," Dickie said when their laughter died.
Eli nodded slowly and smiled sadly. "Yeah... crazy..." he whispered and Dickie nodded.
"I miss her... you know that right? And I love her to death, still," Eli asked, looking at him.
Dickie nodded and gave him a sad smile. "I know... and I'm glad you have Liv... truly, Eli."
They were quiet a few minutes longer.
"You want a boy or a girl?" Eli asked him with a smile and he laughed.
"Always thought I'd want a boy... but Emma way cooler than any of you, so I might just be team girl," he said with a smile.
By the time everyone got to the new apartment, the littles were bouncing with anticipation.
"What is with you guys?" Katie asked laughing and hugging them.
"We have a surprise for you all," Emma said, hugging her big sister tightly.
"Oh?" Lizzie said, going to hug Noah.
They all stood around the kitchen island and the littles handed each of them a gift bag.
"We wanted to her you guys something for Kathy's birthday cause we love you and I know we would have loved her too," Emma said smiling and everyone started tearing up.
Their younger siblings had no idea. They were so innocent and despite how Emma got here and their father's relationship with Liv... the little girl was probably right. They would have loved her, and she them.
How could anyone not?
They all opened the gifts and everyone started to cry. They'd given them framed copies of the final family photo they took together. There wasn't a dry eye in the room and Eli went over, kneeling down to pull them both into a hug. "I love you guys so much," he said and they hugged him tightly.
"Wait the best part issasss," Noah said as he looked up at his dad who produced a cake from the fridge. "Cake for breakfast!!"
Everyone's tears turned into laughter as they ate and prepared for their day.