Disclaimer: ......what if I did own Eva.....hmmm.....oh well, I don't.
Okay, okay, okay....here's the deal. Homework has been at a minimum lately, so I had more time than I thought to do this chapter. I hope that the homework flow stays like this for a long long time...
I've been waiting a long time to do a chapter like this, so I'am rather pleased with how it turned out. Here ya go!
Chapter 5: When Shinji Found Asuka.
Setting: Deep inside Tokyo-2. Early Afternoon.
Shinji: WHERE THE HELL ARE WE?!
Shinji's voice's could be heard throughout the whole city. And if anyone could have guessed, he who yelled out was kind of irriatated. Ok, so he was extremely irriated; as a matter of fact, he was down right pissed off. But who could blame him? He and Rei have been searching this whole damn city for Asuka since early that morning. And so far, they had not found even the slightest hint of red hair anywhere.
Shinji looked around him. Everyone on the sidewalk was staring at him like he was a cheap street performer.
Shinji (nervously): kon-ni-chi-wa..?
The spectators just shook their heads and continued on with their business, not giving any thought to the weirdo without the umbrella.
Shinji did notice that he didn't have an umbrella on hand, but how the hell was he supposed to know that this city left the rain on all the time?
Shinji picked up his phone and began speaking to Rei again.
Shinji:....all right....she's supposed to be nearby....but how hard can it be to find her in this crowd of freakin' zombies?! What the hell is wrong with this city anyway?!
Rei: Many people call this place "the City of Broken Souls". It was given the name because the majority of the populace has supposedly suffered severe emotional drama. Of course, that's just an urban legend around here. Everyone's like this because of the atmosphere. It rains all the time around her. Imagine living in a world with no sunlight at all.
Shinji: Yeah. I'd get bummed out like that if it rained all time. I can see why people think that the city is home to thousands of 'broken souls'. It's because of this rain....
Considering this fact, it was no wonder that Asuka decided to run away here. She could be among others that felt the same way she felt. It was perfectly logical. But this place was just way too bleak for any kind person, why would you want this existence?
Shinji: Man, this place is really starting to piss me off. We can't find Asuka anywhere, everyone's got the 'rainy day blues' 24/7, and the damn UN is still looking for us!
Rei: Calm down Ikari...We haven't even checked the buildings in this region yet. I traced her spot to this part of town, and she is obviously not on the street. So the most logical approach would be to check the surrounding structures. If I can get into one of the buildings, we may find her.
Shinji:...sigh...sorry. All right, we'll check the buildings then.
Rei: good. But there is a problem...
Shinji:...What Rei?
Shinji looked all around him to see what was the matter. He never did take the opportunity to look at the scenery around him.
His eyes got all big again.
The buildings he was supposed to check were all VERY tall high rises that seemed to go all the way out to the sky. Apparently, he was in the good side of town....
Shinji: oh fuck. This is gonna suck so bad...
Meanwhile, in one of those buildings, Asuka sat on a chair against the side of the kitchen wall. The restaurant was as busy as ever, and she needed this break more than anything; she had been pushing herself too hard lately...
Boss: Aki, could I speak to you for a moment?
Asuka tilted her head to the side and looked at her supervisor with tired eyes. He just happened to pop out of nowhere again...
Asuka: what is it?
Boss: It's just that, well, you haven't been yourself since you collapsed yesterday. Are you sure you're all right?
Asuka: I'm fine. I just was a little surprised by what happened in Tokyo-3, that's all...
Boss: I don't know...pardon me saying so but ever since then, you'd been screwing up left and right. The customers are starting to get concerned too.
Asuka:.....
Boss: You should probably take the rest of the day off. Go to bed you know. Get your head all cleared up.
Asuka decided that it was best for her to give in. She did not want to hurt her performance anymore.
Asuka: I guess you're right....I really need to rest. But I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning, ok?
The boss just smiled with relief.
Boss: sure. Take all the time you need.
Asuka grabbed her coat and umbrella while going through the back entrance. Once again, the rain was still there. She opened the umbrella and began talking to herself again.
Asuka: That stupid baka. Even when he's not around he's still bothering me...why can't I get him out of my head...
Little did Asuka know that the man she was just thinking about had just stepped out of the building right near her.
Shinji: Well she ain't in that one.....
Rei: Ikari! I found her!
Shinji got excited all the sudden.
Shinji: REALLY?! WHERE?!
Rei: 10 feet straight ahead! Look!
Asuka heard a couple of voices yelling behind her. She recognized one of them right away, but she wish she couldn't.
It was him.
It was purely coincidence, but this moment had come at last. She turned her head slowly and looked at the man in front of her. He was back.
Shinji looked straight ahead on the sidewalk and spotted a feminine figure with lovely red hair looking right at him. She looked just as surprised as he was, and for Shinji, that was EXTREMELY surprised.
It was her.
Shinji: ASUKA!
The minute Asuka heard her name being called out, she began feeling the anger rising up out of her again. She wanted to go over and just kick the living crap out of him, but another part of hear told her to run away.
Asuka didn't know what to do. She knew he would show up like this sooner or later, but she had no idea on what to do next. As much as she hated to admit it, the best option would be to run, to get as far away from him as possible.
Shinji saw Asuka's expression changing from surprise to utter fear.
Shinji (to himself): oh no...what's wrong now...
She dropped her umbrella and started sprinting down the sidewalk. She was running again; running away from her problems. But Shinji wasn't gonna let that happen.
He clutched the cell phone tightly and began darting down the street after Asuka.
Asuka looked back in terror and saw that the baka was heading right for her! She couldn't take this. Not now.
Asuka: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Asuka started running faster while ramming into the crowd of people simultaneously. She was already several feet ahead of him.
Shinji looked in bewilderment.
Shinji: Damn, I thought I was fast. But she can't keep this up for long...
Shinji hurdled over the few people who suffered Asuka's battering ram-like strength. He was not getting tired yet, and Asuka was most likely capable of slowing down first.
He was right. Asuka had been exhausted all day, and that did not help her chances right now. She starting tripping on her feet a little, but she still kept a fast pace. Her body was going into overdrive and she would surely pass out if she did not slow down a bit.
Asuka: G-go....pant...away....pant...please...
The ground beneath her was starting to get very slippery from the rain...
Asuka:....please...
She tripped.
Asuka felt her body fly up in the air as if a giant bird had picked her up and swooped her into the sky. But then she felt herself plummeting to the wet ground below her. She hit the solid concrete surface, hard.
Shinji: Asuka!
Shinji quickly closed the running gap between them and sat next to Asuka as she tried to get off the ground.
Shinji: Asuka, are you ok?
Shinji tried putting a hand on her shoulder, but she slapped it away with the little strength she had.
Asuka: I'm fine just go away! Please...just...go....aw...
Asuka collapsed on Shinji's lap. She had completely exhausted herself out.
Shinji: Asuka...
He looked down at her and checked to see if she was still breathing. She was fine. The fall didn't do any damage to her, it was the fact that she needed sleep desperately.
Shinji had done it. He found her. Probably not in the best way, but he found her.
Shinji (to himself): that's a fine way to make a good impression. Scare the girl to death, and then make her pass out.
Shinji lifted Asuka off the ground and sighed.
Shinji: I really need work on my social skills...
Asuka opened her eyes and saw that she was in some kind of white room, a void if you will. She couldn't see anything in this room; in fact, she couldn't even see her hands or anything.
She did her voices coming from this void though. But they weren't the voices of the baka or the girl he was talking with. The voices were from herself.
The first one was a voice filled with arrogance and anger.
Angry Asuka: So, he's back again huh? Good, now we can kick his scrawny little ass!
Asuka: He isn't that scrawny anymore. He actually looks pretty good...
The second voice was very timid and weak.
Little Asuka: He looks strong though! He might hurt us if we let him get too close to us! We have to run...
Asuka: no... he would never hurt us...
Angry Asuka: what are you, stupid?! Of course he would! Remember what he did to you six years ago!?
Asuka: he tried to kill me...he tried to hog the glory...
Little Asuka: That's right! That's why we ran!
Angry Asuka: And that is why we must beat him down.
Asuka: Why? What good would that do? He only wanted to help me out back at the hospital you know. I'm sure of it...
Angry Asuka: You stupid little girl, you really are no different from the baka himself. You think that he wants to help you and may even care about you. But that's not true! Remember your father? He left you without looking back....
Asuka: shut up...
Little Asuka: and what about your mother? She wanted you to die as well. She wanted you to go to hell with her...
Asuka: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
Angry Asuka: Just accept it. The only thing that you can really rely on is yourself. Not even your own parents will be there for you in the end. The best thing for you now is to show the baka who's boss. Beat him up.
Asuka: are you sure that....
Angry Asuka: do it.
Asuka: I don't know if that is such a....
Angry Asuka: Just do it.
Asuka: but it looks like he wants....
Angry Asuka: DO IT!
Asuka flung straight up out of her futon. She was breathing rapidly from the dream...no...nightmare she had. She slowly calmed down and looked around. She was in her apartment. But how?
Was the pursuit with Shinji really just a dream?
But it couldn't be...She could feel his touch right before she passed out...so that means....he's still here.
She looked to the side and saw Shinji lying against the wall. It looked like he was soaking wet, like she was, from the rain (stupid baka didn't have an umbrella). He was asleep as well; this whole scenario reminded Asuka of the time when Shinji and her were both riding in the amublance six years ago..
And just like six years ago, the baka needed to learn his place around Asuka. The dream filled her with new revelations, and she knew what she had to do now...
Asuka stood up and walked over to the sleeping form of Shinji. She started kicking him lightly, to get him to wake up. He started jerking a little in response to the kicks, and then he finally came into consciousness.
Shinji looked around groggily and tried to remember where he was. He then came to the realization that he was indeed in Asuka's apartment. He brought her there. Seeing that Asuka was absent from the bed, he looked up and spotted her looming over his sitting position
He smiled softly at her.
Shinji: hi Asuka....
Asuka took her foot and rammed it into Shinji's gut. He fell over on his side in response and started growling in pain. She then kicked him over and over again in his already aching chest. The pain was bad enough at this point...
But she wasn't finished with him yet.
She picked him up by the collar and gave Shinji a hard punch across his tear-ridden face. She decked him so much that blood started forming from his lips and nose and began trailing down his face. Now was the time for the finale. She took her good knee and shoved as hard as she could into Shinji's most sacred place.
Shinji shrieked out in utter pain.
She ceased her mindless rage, though she wished she had done a little more. She tossed her punching bag onto the ground and began speaking to him softly.
Asuka: why did you follow me? I told you to leave me the hell alone. I hate you. I didn't want to see you ever again.
Shinji still remained on the ground but now he was looking up at Asuka with his bloody visage. He heard this from her before. But she couldn't possibly mean it, right? Did she really hate him that much?
Asuka: Get out of here. Never come back. Or else I'll do something much worse...
Asuka plopped down on her futon, trying to avoid eye contact with Shinji. The deed was done. She no longer had to worry about Shinji.
She smiled a little bit at her success. Now she could live her life without worrying about the baka anymore. No more mixed feelings....
But why did she still feel so bad? Could it be...guilt?
Shinji: Asuka...I'm sorry...
She felt a sudden warmness on her face. Shinji had reached over and put a hand on her face the same way she had done to him after Third Impact. The touch radiated with a certain warmth that Asuka never felt before, and she was afraid to find out what it was...
Could it be...trust?...understanding?...caring?...
She turned her head and looked at Shinji straight in the eyes. Well, one eye at least. The other was too bloodied up.
Asuka (angrily): what are you sorry for baka? I'm the one that hurt you this time..
Shinji: no Asuka, I was the one that hurt you. I should have stopped you from running six years ago but I never did. I ran away from you...I should have helped you...or else you wouldn't be here right now...in this terrible city...
Asuka sat up in front of Shinji, not bothering to move the hand from her face.
Asuka: This city is my home. I like it a whole lot better than that pathetic existence with you and Misato. No one loved me there anyway...
Shinji interrupted her, cringing from the pain in his gut.
Shinji: No, you're wrong. You were around people who cared about you in your old life, you just didn't realize it. You ran away to a place where you may never find love....
Asuka was a bit taken aback by Shinji's rebuttal, but not even his new-found spine could stop her from arguing back.
Asuka: YOU are the one who is wrong Shinji. People here do care about me. They think I'm an excellent waitress and they always want me around to help them....
Shinji: Is that it? They love you because you are a waitress? That's no different from being an Eva pilot: once you're done with it, they won't give a damn about you anymore. And no matter how many times you try to change yourself, they will only love you because of one thing: your job. That kind of love is not real.
Asuka was speechless. The baka had grown a bigger spine than she could ever imagine....
Shinji: But there is a better kind of love out there. There are people out there who care about you because of who you are. Those people will always love you no matter how many times you change, for better or worse. Those people are like Misato and...myself...
Asuka:...Shinji....
Shinji: That's why I'm sorry. I should have showed you six years ago that there are people out there that care for you truly. Those are the people that will make you happy Asuka. Not Evas or waiting jobs, but family and loved ones. For that...I'm sorry...
He slowly removed his hand from her face and looked deeply into her eyes. He noticed that not only were they different colors, but they glittered like the crystalline stars that were seen in the night sky. He saw this before....right after Third Impact when he tried to kill Asuka...It was compassion...
Then the glitter disappeared again. Asuka lowered her head and scoffed at Shinji.
Asuka: It's just like you to apologize all the time. Stupid Baka. Get the hell out of here, I.....I need to sleep.
Shinji: sigh. Fine. But just to let you know, I've said my peace. Now I will leave like you requested, never to return again.
Shinji tried with all his might to stand up and limped out of the doorway.
Shinji: Goodbye...Asuka...
Asuka slammed the door behind him and laid face down on the bed.
Not even Asuka saw what was coming next....
She started crying.
She hadn't cried like this since she was a little girl; back when she swore that she would never cry again. She promised herself that no matter what, she would be stronger than all the rest.
But why didn't she feel that way now? Shinji was finally taken out, shouldn't she be feeling happy? What that hell was wrong with her...
Her long loud sobs put her to sleep, but even in her dreams she was still crying. She couldn't see anything or anyone around her, but she didn't give a damn. All she wanted to do was get out these mixed emotions out once and for all...
An angry voice spoke out to her from the void. It was her again.
Angry Asuka: What the fuck is the matter with you?! You got rid of that pathetic piece of shit, and now all you do is cry?! Why are you crying anyway?!
Asuka managed to get a few words out between her sobs.
Asuka: I...don't...know!
Another voice stepped in. It was the other part of her.
Little Asuka: Maybe they are tears of joy. You no longer have to run from him anymore after all.
Asuka:....N-no...that's not it...
Angry Asuka: Then would you shut the hell up! Man, you are more fucked up than I thought...
She was right. Asuka didn't know what was going on either. All she knew was that it had to do with something Shinji told her. That's what set her off.
Asuka (still crying): but why....sniff...why do I feel this way?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!
Asuka started balling her head off in utter confusion. Then another voice spoke. It was her voice but it was not like the other two voices here. It was softer and more compassionate.
Other Asuka: calm down Asuka.
Asuka had never heard this side of her before, but for some reason, it made her feel more at peace. She obeyed it immediately and stopped crying.
Asuka: Who are you? Why haven't I heard you before?
Other Asuka: You HAVE heard me before Asuka. It's just been a long time since you been in touch with me.
Asuka:.....
Other Asuka: I'm the part of you that is your true self: the side of you that is strong, loving, determined, and compassionate towards others.
Asuka: But....I thought I was like that right now anyway....my job....people there love me because I care about them...
True Asuka: That part of you is also fake; just like the other two. It was just another part of you reaching out for acceptance. Did you ever feel uneasy when you were this way?
Asuka: yes. Whenever I thought of the baka, I thought about how much I wanted to have vengeance...
True Asuka: Don't you see then? There was still part of that fake personality left whenever you thought about him. The part of you that was arrogant, selfish, and also scared. Because that part of you was still there, that means that you are not truly at peace with yourself. Nothing has changed for the better.
Asuka:...So that means that the other voices are...what I thought I was? They were me but not really me?
True Asuka: As confusing as it sounds, yes. They are the parts of you that craved the attention of everyone. Those are empty hopes.
Asuka: That is what Shinji said, but why? Why is it bad to be loved by everyone?
True Asuka: Because they don't truly love you. You are not an Eva pilot anymore so those who admired you then, no longer now. That is the same with your new lifestyle. Humankind can be very fickle...
Asuka:....That's so cruel...
True Asuka: Yes...but Humans can also be loving and compassionate. And to do that only requires a much smaller number of people. It may not be the whole world, but you will be among others who care for who you really are, not for the masks you wear. They care for you no matter what...
Asuka gasped.
Asuka: Does that mean that the baka...
True Asuka: Yes. He was always there for you Asuka. He knew that you weren't being yourself and he tried taking action. He tried being...your friend....
Asuka:....
True Asuka: Unfortunately, that pushed him to the breaking point. He tried to kill you because he regrettably thought that you would never change. He wanted to end the pain he caused you as well as the pain you caused him...
This realization hit Asuka hard. This whole time she thought that Shinji was always out to get her. But in truth, she was the one that nearly killed him, mentally that is.
Asuka: It....was...my fault?
True Asuka: and that was when I stepped in. I had to stop him from making a horrible mistake he would regret for the rest of life. I had to give you, Asuka, the chance to make things work out for all of us.
Asuka: Then that means that...
True Asuka: It's time. We must become one again Asuka, like six years ago. Then you will find the path to your happiness as well as a chance to set things right with Shinji.
Asuka kept quiet for a while. She knew what she had to do, for real. She had to find a way to apologize to Shinji. It was not too late yet.
Asuka: All right. I'll do it....I have to learn to have trust in others as well as myself. I must become the Auska Langley Sohryu I was meant to be.
Angry Asuka: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!! COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE BITCH!!!
Little Asuka: This was inevitable. She doesn't need us anymore.
Angry Asuka: WHA....NO WAY?! IT CAN'T BE LIKE THIS I Will...not..be.....
The two other voices were beginning to diminish into oblivion. Asuka no longer needed them to keep her going.
Angry Asuka:.....defeated......
Asuka: goodbye. I no longer need these masks. I'am now the person I should have been this whole time...
True Asuka: congratulations.....we are...finally one....
The void all around Asuka was slowly disappearing. She could the outline of her six-mat apartment coming into view. She sat up a little and put her hand on her pillow. It was still wet; she was back home.
Asuka: I did it.
She could not believe how great she felt now. She felt so stress free and could be capable of doing anything. But something still didn't seem right....
Asuka: oh no.....Shinji! I have to find Shinji!
She bolted out of bed and slammed open the door. The baka couldn't have gotten too far away with that wound. He was probably in an alleyway or something...
Another thought came to her. What if he was dead? What if she really did mess him up so bad, that he was unable to keep on living....
She didn't even want to think about it. He was alive she knew it!
Asuka started sprinting across the wet terrace that connected all the apartments together. The elevator was her only destination right now. After that, she honestly didn't know where to go...
She jolted back to reality as she fell to the ground the second time that day. She was really getting pissed off from falling all the time.
Asuka: Stupid junk! The neighbors should really learn to take the trash straight to the dumpst...
She stopped in mid-sentence. It wasn't trash that she fell over; this particular object had fabric on it. She reached out a hand and ran her hand up it. It was blue denim. And this was a leg!
She looked up and saw the face of Shinji Ikari, and man was he a mess. He was still badly injured from Asuka's assault, and apparently, he did not get that far away. It looked like he was dead...
Asuka: oh no....Shinji...
Asuka reached her hand up quickly and checked for a pulse above his neck. He still had one. He wasn't dead...hell, he wasn't unconscious either. The stupid baka was just asleep.
Asuka smiled with relief. She couldn't help but feel how humorous this was. She thought that he was dead in an alley far far away, but here he was, asleep on the terrace thirty feet away from her apartment.
She took her hand and began playfully bonking Shinji on the head lightly. Shinji started rustling around in his sleep, but he did not wake up.
Asuka: come on. Wake up baka.
Shinji slowly opened his eyes. The first thing he saw was Asuka's beautiful face smiling back at him. This caught him completely off-guard.
Shinji: A-Asuka! I'm sorry! I didn't know where else to sleep! I was going to go find shelter downstairs but the sky was so beautiful up here (even though it's raining) and...
Asuka grabbed on to the babbling Shinji and pulled him into a warm embrace. Shinji just kinda froze; he didn't know what the hell was going on...
Asuka:....I'm sorry....I should have listened to you years ago...
Shinji was blushing like crazy. And did he hear her say 'I'm Sorry'?!
Asuka: You were only trying to be my friend and I just kept pushing you away. If only I listened...then you wouldn't have gone mad and we wouldn't be in this mess...
Shinji did know what to do. This was the first time he ever saw Asuka like this...and he liked it.
Shinji:...Asuka...
Asuka: It's my fault things turned out this way, and for that I'm sorry. Shinji...please forgive me....
Shinji: Of course I forgive you Asuka. Why wouldn't I? We all make mistakes; it's the reason we are human. And as humans, we have to learn from those mistakes and move on. Now I will be able to...
Asuka pulled away from Shinji a little.
Asuka: Wh-what? You want to leave?
Shinji: I just wanted to make amends with you Asuka. And now that I have...
Asuka: YOU are not going any where in this condition Shinji Ikari! You'll freeze to death from the rain out here, let alone you injuries...
Shinji was starting to get a little bit curious of Asuka's actions.
Shinji: What are you saying Asuka?
Asuka (blushing): I....I want you to stay with me, at the apartment for a few days. I want to make sure you get better before you decide to go on...
Shinji's face was turning beet red as well. She wanted him to stay in her apartment? Just the TWO of them?
Shinji: I don't know about this...
Asuka: plus, I'm responsible for you injuries, so it is my duty to take care of you. As a friend, I'm responsible for you.
Shinji thought it over a bit. She really wanted him to stay...and he could hide out for a while from the UN...
Shinji: All right, you win. But, only for a few days...a week at most.
Asuka's face beamed and she hugged him tightly
Asuka: ...Thank you. Come on, we better get you out of the cold.
Asuka grabbed one of Shinji's arms and wrapped it around her shoulder. She used the other arm to help him get off the ground. Pretty soon, they were both stumbling slowly back to Asuka's apartment.
Shinji: Hey..uh...Asuka?
Asuka: Yes?
Shinji (blushing): how are the sleeping arrangements going to work....
Asuka smiled evilly.
Asuka: Oh, I have an idea....
Shinji:..gulp...
Asuka rolled out her futon and began undressing out of her waitress uniform. After a couple of minutes, she was clothed in her nightwear and ready for bed.
Shinji on the other hand, was tied up in a sleeping bag next to the futon. Asuka had him blindfolded too so that he wouldn't get funny ideas when she undressed. This position made him feel rather awkward, but besides that, he was actually pretty comfortable.
He objected nonetheless.
Shinji: What the hell?! You just can't tie up an injured person like this!
Asuak: Oh, be quiet. The ropes are not that tight...
Shinji: I can't move my arms!
Asuka: sigh....stop whining. You know as well as I do that it's wrong for two friends of the opposite sex to sleep in the same room, let alone the same futon.
Shinji: That ain't a very good excuse! Besides, having me stay was YOUR idea!
It really wasn't a good excuse, but Asuka didn't want to ruin this friendship after having it just built up. That would defeat the purpose of actually trying to be friends. In the end, something like sex could create problems for the both of them.
Asuka: True, but you are still a pervert and you agreed to stay with me tonight remember? Don't worry; I'll untie you in the morning.
Asuka turned out the light and rolled over in her futon, away from Shinji.
Asuka:..yawn....good night Shinji.
Shinji: but....aw man...
Shinji decided that it was best to give in. He did like the fact that they were friendly terms for once. It was a big day for both of them, so he'd better quit while he was ahead...
Shinji: sigh....Good Night...Asuka....
That was such a fun chapter to write. And there is more to come too. I do have some Evangelion action scenes planned up ahead, but that won't be for a few chapters.
Please R&R everyone. I'm just a lowly writer, reviews are all I ask for. Nothing more.
Oh, and I think Konnichiwa is "hello" or "good afternoon" in japanese. I'm trying to study the language, so I hope that is right.
So until next time, Later:)