Bella's Point of View
The next few days have been full of stress and uncertainty. I couldn't decide if I truly enjoyed becoming a wolf or not. It came with a lot of advantages, like running through the forest, which was such a freeing feeling. Not to mention all this new strength and agility. But there was draw-backs. I still haven't completely gotten phasing under control. I can go pretty much three straight hours without ripping out of my clothes and that's only if I'm not provoked. I've learned that shifting into my wolf form is heavily attached to my emotions. Any thoughts of fear, anger or aggression would trigger the turn. So, Edward was helping me control those emotions.
I'm not sure if either one of us had the patience for this, he was frustrated at my slow progress, I could see it on his face. But he never had an unkind word for me. Mostly, he seemed to be getting more disappointed in himself.
So far, Emmett has been the only one to join in with my training sessions. It's been nice to get to know him a little better. Although, his main role of being here was to push my buttons. He would intentionally try to make me lose my temper. He was getting really good at it.
Today, the three of us were down at first beach, which was a bit more of a public spot to be in. I've mostly been in my back yard or Edward's. There were a few people walking around, which had me on edge.
To keep myself distracted, I listened closely to Emmett and Edward's conversation.
"I'm telling you Edward, something is very wrong with Rose, she isn't herself. She is being so moody." Emmett commented with a concerned frown on his face.
"Isn't she always moody?" Edward said, raising his brow with an amused grin.
"Not like this, we were watching a comedy last night, and she just kept crying. She would laugh, then cry, then get pissed off, all within thirty minutes. The mood swings are driving me insane. I don't even know how to comfort her."
Edward sighed, shrugging his shoulders. "Is it… you know… that time of the month?"
Both of them glanced over to me, gauging my reaction to what was said. I forced myself not to look over to them. There was a slight shudder in my arms. The statement annoyed me, but I didn't allow that feeling to stay. I let it go. I controlled my breathing and ignored it. The slight shaking stopped as fast as it started.
"No, not yet, I can usually smell when that's coming." Emmett muttered a bit quieter.
The thought of that, brought a blanket of blush across my cheeks. Does that mean, they all were aware of me when I was menstruating as well? I hid my face in my hands for a minute. I wanted to ask, but it was too embarrassing. Maybe it would be better if I didn't know. Ignorance is bliss.
Slowly I let myself lay down. The beach blanket under me felt nice and soft. The sky was completely covered in clouds, there was an icy breeze rolling past us. But it wasn't cold. My body temperature ran so warm that I didn't feel cold very often. In fact, I could probably be naked in a snow storm, and not find it cold. It was another positive to becoming a wolf. But the rain still bothered me. Luckily, the rain was light today, just a few random drops hit against my face. The rain would begin to pour soon. We wouldn't be hanging out on the beach for very long.
"I'm sure it will pass, try not to worry." Edward said with a pat to Emmett's shoulder.
"I sure hope so. It's hard not to worry. Just this morning, she got really sick. She puked a couple times. I don't know if she got a stomach bug, or possibly food poisoning."
I sat up now, turning in their direction with an incredulous look. "Are you sure that she isn't pregnant?"
Emmett's face paled as he held up his hands, counting with his fingers. Panic struck his features. "That can't be right. No, we were always careful. There was just one time… a few weeks ago… but it was just once…" He now was pacing back and forth.
Edward made a face. "It only takes one time you idiot."
"I have to go see her." Emmett stuttered, before turning on his heels to jog off into the distance. I've never seen Emmett so anxious. He was usually always calm with a teasing demeanor. He never was one to take things too seriously. But the look on his face was pure fear and anxiety. What would he do if she was pregnant? They both were seniors in high school. Surely if everyone found out, they would be the talk of La Push.
Edward made his way over to me, sitting down to sigh heavily. His eyes went out towards the ocean. He didn't look happy. I don't know if it was because of Emmett's situation or something else.
"What's wrong?" I asked quietly.
He didn't look at me. Instead, his hand came out to lightly lay on my thigh. "Nothing, I'm just thinking."
His touch brought electricity through my body. I shivered quietly as a smile slid onto my face. I enjoyed his every touch. But I wish that he would open himself up more. I knew there was something brewing in his mind. It was hard for Edward to let anyone in. It was getting easier, but there were moments like this, when he would go silent. What I would give to read his mind. I wanted to understand him. I wish he would let me.
"Are you upset that Rosalie might be pregnant?" I wondered, brushing my fingertips across the top of his hand.
A shudder rolled down his spine, before he finally looked at me. "No, I'm not upset. If that's the case, I'm truly happy for them."
"Then why do you have that look on your face?" Hesitantly I reached up to touch his cheek. He leaned down a bit into my touch, a smile coming to his face.
"Well, to be honest, I've never really thought becoming a father would be a possibility for me. So, it was something I didn't have to worry about. But… things have changed." His eyes flickered to me, then back to the ocean. I noted a hint of embarrassment seeping through his words.
"What does that mean," I raised a brow, feeling my heart drop to the pit of my stomach. "You found someone… that you may want to be with… in that way?" The pain I felt at this thought was indescribable.
"It turns out, yes I have. She is beautiful and kind, but has a bit of a temper. She is everything I've ever wanted. I hope someday she will feel the same way about me." Edward said softly, his eyes filled with tenderness as he watched me.
Anger filled me instantly, as I fought against tears. This was so stupid. Why should I care? If Edward is madly in love with someone. How could I ever fool myself into thinking that he would ever give me a chance? He was Edward. The Alpha of the pack. The fearless hero of La Push. I was just me. A nothing. An absolute nobody.
My body began to tremble under my rage, I could feel that I was about to phase.
"Bella, what's wrong?" Edward reached over to touch my face. He frowned deeply. "Did I say something to upset you?"
I turned away from him roughly and stood up, running towards the forest. Luckily it wasn't too far of a jog from the beach. I held my emotions back for as long as I could. But the intensity of my sorrow was almost physically painful. The kind of agony you would want to take your own life, just to escape it. I could hear Edward following behind me, but didn't bother looking back. I just kept running until I made it deep within the woods. I sank to my knees, clutching my chest from the heart break.
Why am I not good enough?
"Bella?" Edward reached me, looking more and more concerned.
"Stay back, I don't think I can hold this one back." I growled between clenched teeth.
"Alright, just go ahead and phase, let me in, I want to see what has you so upset."
With a heavy sigh, I let my hatred and aggression take hold of me. Snarls burst past my lips as my vision began to twist and distort. Fur seemed to manifest quickly, soft white. It was beginning to be a familiar sight. Soon I was pacing on all fours, my ears flat against my head. I glared in Edward's direction.
He was already phased, towering over me with dark ebony fur. We circled each other for a while. The thought occurred to me, a black wolf and a white wolf. It was like yin and yang. Horribly poetic.
What is wrong, it's easier to talk like this. Edward's thoughts were full of worry. He paused in his pacing, watching me closely.
He was right. I always found it much easier to communicate this way. You couldn't misunderstand something this way. Everything flowed easily, like breathing. You can't hide your true feelings. But that made things scary as well. What if he didn't like what my thoughts held? What if it disgusted him? Or he would make fun of me for having these feelings for him.
The truth is, I'm hurt. What you said, about finding a girl that you feel so strong for, it really made me feel… hurt. I admitted, letting my head fall a little.
Edward made a low whining sound, his ears flattening against his head as well. But he perked up a little as he trotted over to me. Lightly he nuzzled the side of my neck. I was talking about you. That girl that I'm so crazy about… is you Bella.
My entire body went still at his confession. All the anger and sadness melted away. My heart swelled in my chest, causing a bit of a dizzy spell to take over. I stumbled slightly, feeling myself begin to phase back into my human form.
I felt myself hit the forest floor, I grabbed at the dress I had ditched off to the side and pulled it around myself quickly. It only took me a couple seconds. I turned to Edward, just as he was shifting back as well. A pair of pants had been tied around his leg. It took him even less time to get dressed than me. I walked over to him, keeping a hard look on my face.
He smiled sheepishly at me. "I'm sorry, I thought you would have realized that I was referring to you. I'll have to be a bit more clear in the future."
I didn't speak. Instead I just threw my arms around his neck, pulling him into a tight hug. He paused, seeming a bit surprised, but soon his arms swept around me. He pecked the top of my head as he leaned in close to rest his chin on my shoulder.
"I didn't know you felt that way…" I mumbled quietly, peeking up at him.
He gave me a crooked smile. "You are the one who has touched my heart, it will always be yours."
I felt tears sting in my eyes. I didn't see Edward's soft side very often. But when he said things like this… all I could do was hang tightly onto each word. Even though it didn't make sense. How such a flawless man could care for me.
"I feel the same way. I can't explain it. There is something deep inside. Something I can't ignore. It's always there. A strong connection. At times, I feel like my heart is going to overflow. I can't contain it. You are the only thing that matters." My cheeks warmed under his gaze.
His smile was dazzling. With a gentle touch he brushed a few strands of hair from my face. "I'm finished pretending," He spoke so quietly, I could barely hear him. His eyes closed as he slowly inched towards me.
My eyes flickered to his lips. My heart skipped a beat as I closed my eyes as well. Our lips touched just briefly. But the feeling of his lips made my legs go weak. Electricity flew down my body. Edward sensed my distress and quickly pulled me up into his arms. He held up most of my weight, keeping me from tumbling to the ground. Our kiss deepened as I pulled him even closer to him. There was nothing better than kissing Edward. I never wanted it to end. But we broke apart after a while to catch our breaths.
His forehead rested against mine, a smirk on his face. "I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to do that."
"So it wasn't just me?" I muttered shyly.
He chuckled, leaning down to kiss me again, a little longer this time. My hormones were going crazy. Against Edward's bare chest. His hands sliding down to my hips and around my backside. My legs trembled. I hadn't worn underwear today, I've gone so long skipping out on it. In fear, that when I phase, I would end up shredding all my underwear. Edward seemed to notice as well as his hands shimmed down my dress. His dark eyes clouded with hunger.
"We should get back, before the others come looking for us." He suggested in a strained voice, pulling away slowly from me. His face was flushed. I could see he was struggling to stay in control.
I wished that we could have continued, but I knew he was right. We both had deep rooted animalistic desires. It was hard to fight against the urge. But if we continued, we would end up making love, right here in the woods. It was something I wasn't sure about. Every cell of my body was screaming for it. I wanted him, desperately. But I had to use restraint. We had only just admitted our feelings. The lust and yearning was there. I couldn't deny that. But I had to hold onto my morals. Even if it felt like a very natural next step to me, I knew it wasn't right. There was a proper order of doing things. Sex would be off the table for a while.
But if Edward kept looking at me like that… I could see myself giving in, sooner than later. His eyes sneakily roamed my body as we walked hand in hand back to the beach.
Jasper was waiting for us as we made it back to where I had my beach towel spread out. His face was masked in seriousness. He kept his eyes on Edward. Not at all seeming to care about the sudden shift in our relationship. We stood there, hand in hand.
"What is it?" Edward narrowed his eyes at Jasper for a moment.
"A bloodsucker is hanging around the north side boundary line. He wants to talk. He said it's urgent." Jasper reported, glancing between the two of us for a half a second.
I felt Edward tense at my side. He turned to look at me pointedly. "I suppose you aren't willing to go home and wait for me there?"
I shook my head stubbornly. "Not a chance. You're stuck with me now."
Edward sighed. "Alright, let's go then. But you are to stay behind me." He gave me a strict frown.
I nodded sharply. "Fine,"
The three of us went running in the direction of the north boundary line. Edward had shown me all the boundaries surrounding La Push. We ran patrol together a few times, just for me to get the hang of it. It was a huge area. But I truly did enjoy running. The wind against my face. The fresh air. Even on the days that it rained, I loved it. Although the feeling of being wet, even as a wolf wasn't something I'd prefer.
The forest was a blur around me as we ran, but I knew exactly where we were going. I easily memorized every route this pack ran. We reached the boundary line in a few minutes. Edward and Jasper stayed in the front, blocking my line of sight.
Stay back here Bella. We will go talk with him. Jasper nodded to me, cut me off. I stopped a few steps behind them. Breathing out something close to a sigh.
Alright, I'll stay here. I replied, backing up a little and making a show of sitting down. Reluctantly obedient. I didn't want to piss Edward off. If I did, he may not let me come along with him anymore.
I watched quietly as the two of them phased back into human form. They threw on pants, while still behind a few trees, before stepping out into the clearing. There was a distinct, invisible line separating one end of the field from the other. Edward and Jasper approached a guy, waiting just a few yards away. His back was turned, so I couldn't get a good look at him.
"What the hell do you want to say?" Jasper spoke up with an annoyed tone.
I was a bit surprised by this. Jasper was always so calm and quiet. He was gentle and laid back for the most part. This was probably the most I've seen him speak out loud.
The vampire finally turned, abnormally pale, but with striking features that were just so familiar. I've seen him before. I tried thinking back to when that might have been.
"I'm here with a warning," He shrugged his shoulders slightly. He didn't seem to care that Jasper had spoken with such coldness.
The sound of his voice brought a memory to the surface of my mind. Back in Arizona, I had a few friends that lived close to me. Rachel and Rebecca Black. I spent a lot of time with them, although they were a bit older than me. They had a younger brother, around my age, that would tag along with us as well. Little Jacob. He was about two years younger if I wasn't mistaken. Last year, before I made the move to La Push, his parents split up, his father took him and moved away. They never mentioned where. What the hell happened to him?
"What is your warning?" Edward asked calmly, watching Jacob closely.
I lost concentration, by the sheer surprise I felt, seeing Jacob like this. It was heartbreaking. Did this mean that he was dead? He was some kind of monster now? Was there any way to save him? I felt myself phase back. I quickly threw my dress back on and stepped out from the trees, to come into view.
Jacob's eyes snapped to me, a beautiful topaz. A look of shock and elation came across his face. "Bella," He said softly.
Edward and Jasper turned sharply in my direction.
"Bella, I told you to stay back." Edward stated with a tense look clouding his face. "It's not safe."
"How do you know her?" Jasper demanded, facing Jacob again.
"We grew up together," Jacob responded, barely looking at him. His eyes stayed on me. "Please, come over, I won't hurt you. I promise, I'm in control."
I took a few steps over, even with Edward's obvious discomfort. He moved to my side, placing an arm around my waist. He allowed me only a few more steps. His entire body was trembling. His mouth was in a tight line. He didn't like me being this close. I didn't want to upset him. But I had to talk to Jacob, just for a minute.
Jacob took a few steps over as well, the tip of his toes almost coming in contact with the boundary line. Jasper growled menacingly at him. "Not another step."
"Jake, what are you doing here? I-I mean what happened? How did you… become like this?" I asked with a frown. We were about ten feet away from each other now.
"It's a really long story, I'd rather not get into it right now. But it is nice to see you." He offered me a warm smile.
That's strange. He seemed like his old self. Like nothing was wrong with him. He had been a good buddy. He didn't act like a cold blooded killer. His gold eyes meant he only hunted animals. I remembered Edward telling me that. If a vampire has red eyes, they feed off of humans. But all vampires had the lust for all blood. They could lose control and attack without warning, just at the slightest scent of blood. I would have to be careful.
"It's nice to see you too. I'm sorry… this happened to you… How is Billy?" I asked gently.
Jacob hung his head, not meeting my gaze. "That's something I'd really rather not think about. But maybe the two of us could catch up some time. I'll tell you everything… just not here in front of your flea-bag buddies here."
"That's out of the question." Edward turned to me with a hard frown. "You are going nowhere near him."
I sighed deeply. There was so much hatred brewing on both sides. I had the urge to back off. If it meant helping the situation. I nodded, looking to Edward.
"Alright, if you think that's what's best."
Jacob's face soured. "No, don't be like that Bells. It's me. We're friends. I may have changed a bit, but I'm the same guy you've known your whole life." It sounded like he was begging.
I felt bad instantly. I didn't want to hurt his feelings. But I'd feel much worse if I hurt Edward. "Sorry Jake, I've changed too." I muttered, before quickly tucking myself behind Edward.
This seemed to calm him down, he threw me an appreciative smile, before leaning down and pecking my forehead. "We will talk more about this later."
My heart stirred in my chest. But I remained quiet. I wouldn't get in his way. He was the Alpha here. He was in control of this situation. I will do what I'm told for now. And later, maybe I could convince him to let me talk with Jake.
"Like we were saying, what is this warning, that you came all the way out here to tell us?" Edward said, raising his head to meet Jacob's gaze.
"We saw some nomad vampires in the area. There have been attacks, starting in Port Angeles. They are making their way closer and closer into Forks. They could end up in La Push as well. Be on the lookout for them." Jake said, his eyes kept wandering over to me.
"Do you have a description?" Jasper interjected.
"Three of them, a blonde guy, a redheaded woman and a man with dreadlocks. They travel mostly together. If we find anything else out, we will be sure to come in contact with you again." Jake said, locking eyes with Edward now. "I don't know what you are filling her head up with, but if you let anything happen to her, I will hold you personally responsible."
Edward snorted. "You are the only threat here. Let me worry about her safety leech."
Jacob rolled his eyes before turning his back to us. Ending any further conversation. I watched his retreating back, wondering if I would ever see him again after today. I couldn't believe Jake was here. And a vampire. I didn't know what this all means? Could I really still be friends with him?
A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Edward and Bella's relationship is finally starting to bloom, just as Jacob enters the picture. If you are enjoying the read, I have a similar fanfiction I'm working on, alongside this one. It's called "unhinged". I'd appreciate it if you would read it as well!