Disclaimer: Don't own Eva.
I'am very VERY sorry for the late update. I have no excuse for that, other that I'am a lazy good-for-nothing.
Thankfully, this is my longest chapter yet! I hope you all enjoy it!
Chapter 14: Blank Ticket
"…hmm….unfamiliar ceiling."
Shinji stated as he stared up at the light over his head. The room was still very cold, and the night was far from over. Even with the extensive amount of covers at his disposal, Shinji still couldn't get comfortable enough for a long winter's nap.
He was completely exhausted as well. He had been traveling for God knows how long, and had finally found a permanent residence in which he could rest and rebuild his strength. He had plenty of food available to him, and could regain his strength completely within about a week or so.
But even if that was the case, then this current state of insomnia seemed impossible. Something like exhaustion should have put him to sleep almost instantly, and yet here he was: wide-awake and still well aware of what time it was.
"4:36. I've been awake for over six hours now."
It never would occur to Shinji that his little sleep problem wasn't due to physical weakness, but to mental anguish. True, it had been six hours since he first decided to depart into slumber, but it had also been six hours since….the quarrel he had with Asuka. Something he really didn't want to think about right now. He had long thought over this subject for the many hours he was awake, and all the painful realizations he drew from the experience made him sick to his stomach.
But nonetheless, images of that night replayed backwards and forwards within his cranium. The hurtful words that she said….the physical pain he felt….and the undesirable good bye she had given him. It was almost as if she had used him like a tool this whole time. The reason why is unknown, but he did know one thing:
She wasn't different. She still hurt him. People who love each other shouldn't hurt one another; that is pure logic. Therefore…..she must have never truly loved him in the first place (and to think, Shinji blamed himself for their quarrel….).
But if that was true, than she certainly was a good actress. She could even make her eyes deceive the poor boy; those eyes of love were nothing more than a thick disguise used to mask the truth of her loath and disgust for him. Then when the time was right, she would reveal her true self and…..hurt him. Hurt him for whatever reason she had for doing so.
What could her motive possibly b-
Shinji's eyes widened, "Eva."
That's it. She wanted to destroy Shinji once and for all, because she was jealous of his skills as a pilot. She always had been; ever since they first met, she had established a rivalry between them, and continued to pummel him with insults and pain so that he may finally crack and surrender to her 'superiority'.
But that plan backfired…big time. She had a chance to show her superiority in the final battle with the opposing Eva units, but she ultimately failed…and paid a horrible price. She lost her unit and her mother to the icy black hand of death, which managed to grab her as well….
For a short time.
Shinji, with his God-like strength acquired during the final battle, managed to bring everyone eternal salvation and unity. And in return, he also got his own personal salvation; the loneliness he desired (at least, what he thought he desired…). But then….something odd happened. Asuka returned to him; the girl he thought he loved returned from the grave in order to bring him more torment. His new world turned to hell; the girl he loved, had all of eternity to express how much she despised him.
But then, something even stranger happened: she disappeared. She decided to stop tormenting him and left him for a good long time. The moment she left, was the very moment when a new hope was born in Shinji. A hope that told him that…..things could still be changed. He could change this women, and bring her into the light of hope.
This revelation gave him something to look for; it gave him a new meaning to life. And that was the reason why he took the Evangelion back: in order to fulfill his purpose.
This all lead to the last few weeks' events: the Eva escape, attack on Tokyo-2, everything.
And then, the dark truth broke out. The revelation he longed sought for, the love of another, was soon shot down by deceit. In other words, Asuka only pretended to like Shinji in hopes of destroying him once and for all. If she couldn't be an Eva pilot, then he couldn't either.
"If I'm going down, I'm taking you with me." Shinji mumbled silently. That phrase pretty much expressed what Asuka was thinking. The worst part of it is…….her plan worked…….almost completely.
She had left him in a state of complete self-loathing; an emotion in which Shinji could destroy himself from the inside out….a type of mental suicide. And with that part of her vicious scheme completed, Asuka decided to leave the rest of the killing up to Shinji's own self-conscience.
And if this elaborate fabrication was her reason for 'loving' him, then she had succeeded.
Tears began to form in Shinji's eyes.
He turned around and caught his face in the pillow, drowning his tears directly into the soft piece of fabric.
"Why? Why did have to fall for the one girl that hurts me the most?" Shinji muttered quietly against his futon. Irony had certainly dealt him quite a hand: a boy who absolutely abhors pain, finds his love in a woman who can do nothing but deliver turmoil.
Shinji chuckled silently at his own foolhardiness. He cursed himself for being so stupid as to trust a devilish woman such as Asuka, and he regretted ever saving that worthless bitch in the first place. At least….that is what his mind told him.
Repetitive laughing soon conquered Shinji's tears. The laughter was quiet, and completely unlike Shinji.
"…I guess….I'm no good at loving another either. Or at least, I'm no good at finding someone to care for me back. Why is it that no matter what, I always manage find someone who hurts me? Is it because I hurt them?"
Shinji moaned and clutched his head in exasperation, "..ugh….I…don't know. And…I can't go back to Asuka, that would be just dumb.."
Shinji wiped away a few loose tears and began to feel a strange confidence arise inside of him. A confidence that said, 'you don't need a girl like her anymore. Forget her and start over again.'
And even stranger, Shinji obeyed the voice of confidence. If the only person he trusted for compassion gave him pain, then she was not worthy to love or be loved.
Shinji smiled slightly to himself, feeling proud about his new-found revelation. He stared at the unfamiliar ceiling again, and let warmth fill his body. He could start over again; just like six years ago; but this time, things would be different. He was no longer chained to the desire of seeing Asuka again, meaning that he truly was free to do whatever he wanted from this point on. That alone gave him the warmth he had been searching for all night long.
However, something….felt wrong Very wrong.
Asuka shivered in her sleep.
She still couldn't repress the trauma of the previous nights events out of her mind, and the cold weather among her didn't help matters much. All that stood between her and the bitter cold winter were several sheets of thin newspaper. And the park bench was rather uncomfortable in its own right….
Yes, it's true. Asuka is sleeping on a bench in the middle of the park in a cold winters night; but no one can really blame her, seeing as she really had nowhere else to go. She was still unsuccessful in finding Hikari or Kensuke (though she really wasn't searching for the latter.), and that stooge Toji was nowhere to be found. He disappeared sometime after Shinji and she arrived to their new humble abode.
So there she was: barely protected from the frigid world amongst her sleeping body, with no living soul in sight. But believe it or not, Asuka was pretty used to sleeping without a shelter. After all, she didn't instantly find a place to live once she arrived to Tokyo-2 six years ago. She spent many days sleeping on dirty park benches and wet cardboard boxes before actually finding a decent place to live. In fact, Asuka was rather lucky to find a place at all; it was all thanks to her kind boss back at the restaurant. He somehow had a knack for spotting potential within an individual, and then he came across Asuka. He gave a place to live, a decent paying job, and of course, the chance to live once again.
Too bad that didn't pay off in the long run. Six years of hard work, and the appearance of one person changed everything. And in the course of a few weeks, she somehow managed to slink her way back to the derelict position she had originally came to be. She was back to were she started now…..homeless and…..lonely….
Asuka's teeth chattered slightly from the wind chill; the newspaper flapped around fiercely and began to flutter away; page by page. Her cover was becoming shorter and shorter with each passing moment, and the wind was getting gustier with every page lost. Soon, the only protection she had left was her fall jacket.
Asuka curled into a fetal position across the park bench; the cold was much worse than she expected. She opened her eyes slowly and began looking around for and sort of heat she could find. Unfortunately, no such warmth could be found; the whole park was completely empty, apart from the lonely lamp dangling in the wind and the empty wastebasket next to her.
"…..shciess…", was the only thing Asuka could manage to get out. The fresh chill of the wind woke her up instantaneously, meaning that it would be nearly impossible for her to fall back to sleep. Besides, no human being in the right mind would sleep in this type weather without proper protection; and Asuka was no exception. Whenever things looked cold for her, she would bundle up with the closest thing near her: a pillow, a second blanket layer, or another person…
That other person being only Shinji and no one else.
"Shinji…." Her body flowed with heated fury at the sound of his name. The warmth felt good but it was far from comfortable. Just thinking about that spineless jerk only brought back the painful thoughts about the previous night….and memories from long ago as well. Memories that she thought were gone completely…until now.
"Damn Shinji…."
Asuka cursed the boy with a passion. He was the one who led her into a false sense of security, pretended to love her, and then later unleashed that cowardly personality which was within the boy the whole time. Asuka felt enraged at Shinji for masking his true self (the spineless baka), and she also felt embarrassed for ever loving such a boy. What kind of girl would love a worm anyway?
Also, she could never EVER forgive him for luring her back to Tokyo-3. Figures that a baka like him needed someone to cling onto, and Asuka was his primary choice. He was nothing more than a leech, looking for the best host possible. Once he found that host (Asuka), he deceived her, drained the only worthwhile emotions she had left, and left her for misery and suffering. For that, Asuka could never forgive him.
"….Why did he have to come back anyway?….I thought he was different then…..I thought he was different…….."
She took deep breaths in hopes of releasing some of this unnecessary stress. Unfortunately, that was harder than it looked; considering that every breath like was like inhaling fire straight down her throat. Thankfully, it calmed her down enough so that she was able to think straight.
'Okay, so what do I do now then?….I can't stay here….. I only came back to this awful city for…him……'
Asuka didn't want to think about him anymore; it was just too painful, albeit that was the only thing that would await over the horizon. She had nothing to look forward to, except a life of sorrow.
…..Or did she?
Asuka curled up even tighter, attempting to preserve the remaining heat she had left. Fortunately for her, the wind was dying down; she just might make it through this night alone….without having to resort to begging.
As she lied there underneath the moon-basked night, strange thoughts began to fill her mind. Thoughts that almost seemed…..to not come from her.
'Shinji's gone. The spineless baka that abandoned us is finally gone…..so shouldn't you be happy Asuka? He really is no different then your father you know; He abandoned you in your time of need also. But did he show any remorse for it?'
"no," Asuka said, as if the thoughts in her mind were sitting right next to her, speaking as if they were an actual person.
'That's right. He was a selfish, callus man; just like that useless pilot, Shinji Ikari. He's a worm. Nothing more than a worthless little grub. Why would you fall in love with such a…thing….Asuka?'
"…..I don't know. For some reason…..he just….called out to me. And I accepted." Asuka stated with a slight monotone.
"….that's called animal magnetism Asuka. It happens to everyone, regardless of his or her personal strengths and weaknesses. That is why you wanted to be closer to the baka; the real problem is that you actually accepted your attraction to him. You didn't deny the fact that you were attracted to someone who is lower then the ground he walks on. That makes you weak Asuka…terribly weak…."
Asuka's eyes winced slightly, "…that's right…..I' am weak. But…..the great Asuka can't be weak….never…."
'Correct. Your love for Shinji made you absolutely pathetic. But now that you have broken ties with the boy you so hopelessly followed….'
"…I can go on by being myself." Asuka finished for the voice.
'Not only yourself, but better than ever. You can become more powerful then you can ever imagine; even stronger then the Eva you once piloted long ago. You can once again become….the Great Asuka Langley Sohryu.'
An arrogant grin spread across Asuka's face like a bad infection, "Yes. I don't need anyone to become a stronger person…..nobody……nobody at all….."
The voice remained silent as Asuka continued.
"…..I don't need the Eva, I don't need mama, I don't even need Baka Shinji in order to survive! I can do it all on my own without help!"
'…yes. You can. Those people you have so helplessly clinged onto over the years are only obstacles standing in your way. The road to your dreams….must be clear.'
Asuka nodded in agreement. But…something didn't seem right. Something was still amiss……
Only two words came to mind: "Baka Shinji"….
'See what I mean Asuka? Those people you have come to trust are hurting you, even when they are not around you anymore. You have to break free from their holds on you, and aim for your true destiny. Do you understand what I' am saying Asuka?'
Asuka thought this over for a moment, and nodded hesitantly.
'….good……..keep that in mind……when I come back……'
"………" Asuka remained silent. There was not a sound to be heard for anywhere, not even from her general surroundings. The voice…..from wherever it came from…was gone.
Asuka's eyes wandered anxiously, "…who was that?…..and….how did it know my name?" At first, wonder girl came to mind (seeing as she was the only one capable of such a feat). But the voice didn't sound anything like her at all.
No….this voice sounded more….ominous…..and dangerous.
Asuka turned her back towards the bench and attempted to rest her uneasiness. She had nothing more to worry about anymore; the events of tonight and anything before that….would be nothing more than void. For tomorrow, was the start of her new life.
She smiled serenely at the thought of starting over again. It was hard to imagine; She would finally have a life…..without Eva….without all those painful memories….without those horrible angels, and most of all….a life without…..
"Baka Shinji…"
Asuka's smile fell.
Shinji stepped into the living room after a long day's slumber. He was ready to face another day, but this time he was not under the restraining temptation of that bitch he once called his lover. Today was different; today, he would start things anew and just forget about the events that happened prior to yesterday. And from this moment on, he would be the happiest bachelor the world has ever known.
First, he would go out and look for his buddies, Toji and Kensuke. They never really steered him wrong…ever; Shinji could still trust them. He could just abandon his place here, and make tracks for some foreign town like he did long ago. And this time….his friends would be with him. After all, they would understand his current situation.
Problem was…..he had no idea on where either of them were. Toji ran off somewhere, and he still unsuccessful in finding Kensuke anywhere. But if luck was with him, they would most likely run into Shinji sometime; or maybe even visit his place. After all, Toji knew of Shinji's new residence, and he would never let down the opportunity to come and visit him.
So for now, all Shinji had to do was sit down, derive his new plan for escaping, and wait for his friends. That was all he could do, and was perfectly content with that.
Shinji walked into the kitchen and looked for something to drink in the fridge. All that he could find was soda; though he didn't complain much. He really needed some caffeine right now, and was relieved to see that his refrigerator wasn't jammed packed with liquor. Misato (being a heavy drinker) did provide all of this for Shinji, so it's a surprise to see that she at least got her priorities straight.
Shinji opened up the can and took a big gulp of soda in a fashion that mimicked Misato. He really couldn't help but feel happy ; Asuka was gone, and so was his source of anguish. He was perfectly happy with that fact.
He plopped down on the couch and flicked the TV on with the remote. He continuously clicked to different channels, but was unlucky in finding anything to watch. All that was worth watching was the reports about 'the beast that terrorized Japan', but he already lived that experience.
Shinji flicked the TV off and tossed the controller onto the adjacent chair. He laid his back against the couch and stared up at the ceiling. Now would be a better time then any to began contemplating his escape plan.
'…where can I go anyway? Can't really do Tokyo-2 again…..they'll find me there for sure. What about Old Tokyo? Or maybe Kyoto? I'm not even sure if any of these places are still around….'
He took another sip of his soda while counting all the little dot on the ceiling tiles.
'It should be somewhere small….like last time. And I can't really go back to the same town either. 'They' knew I was there, so that would be pointless. Come to think of it, how I am going to get out of this city? Can't take Eva again…'
Shinji's mind was beginning to spin-cycle at this point; he had so much to think about with so little time.
'…Guess I'll have to walk….but NERV will find me in no time if I do that! And they'll block off every exit once I leave, no matter how I travel! Grrr………this is going to be much harder then I thought….'
Shinji shook his head from side to side and took a deep breath; what he really needed right now was focus. Therefore, he relaxed his head against the back of the couch and looked near the front of the room.
There were several cardboard boxes at the entrance. All neatly stacked as if someone was planning to move in…
These certainly were not Shinji's things; all the stuff that Shinji had was in that backpack he brought with him.
"Asuka…."
Finally he remembered. Misato said that she was having Asuka's stuff being brought in. Apparently, Shinji must have slept later then he thought. He sat up from the couch and stalked towards the boxes.
"Asuka," Shinji eyed the boxes cruelly. All the stuff that was in these boxes were just terrible reminders of his past life with that girl; and since she left without hesitation, then she would no longer be needing these items……she was on her own from now on….Shinji wasn't going to be responsible for her personal belongings.
Angry words echoed in his mind:
'you're worthless Shinji. You don't even love yourself. Worm. Worthless. Nothing. You will never change you spineless baka…..never change…..'
The words took on the voice of Asuka, angering Shinji even more. These were just the terrible memories he had of Auska, coming back to him at the sight of these cardboard momentos. In response, he violently tore open the tape on the nearest box and flung open the sides rapidly.
On top was a small handwritten note:
Asuka,
These are all the belongings we could collect from the apartment in Tokyo-2. Nothing was left behind I'm sure. I hope these packages remain undamaged by the time it reaches you, or else there will some Hell to pay…
Misato.
P.S. play it safe with Shinji, Asuka…hee hee…Shinji smirked darkly and chuckled; the irony of that last statement was enough to make him throw up. He crumpled up the letter and threw it against the other side of the room, landing on the couch.
He then scavenged the box for anything that he might find useful; some money, jewelry, etc. Anything that could help him get by. But to his dismay, all that was in this box was clothes. Clothes, clothes, clothes.
"Doesn't that wench have enough to wear?"
He pushed the box aside and reached for the next one. He opened the box in the previous fashion, and looked around for any goods. Once again, there was nothing here but clothes, clothes, clot-
Something caught his eye. It was a hint of gold.
He reached for the valuable piece of metal and pulled it from the endless sea of fabric. Unfortunately, the gold wasn't real; it was just a coating used for a locket on a generic red diary…..
"a diary?," Shinji's eyes scanned the booklet with curiosity. He never knew that Asuka carried a diary, nor did he believe that she was compassionate enough to write in one. It mustn't be that private either, seeing as the lock was broken and could easily be penetrated by any intruder.
Shinji, being one who wouldn't hold back in his current state of mind, flung the diary open with no conscience. He flipped through the pages one by one and scanned everything to the finest detail.
"These are nothing but blank pages," It was true. The diary was not even written in for the first thirty or forty pages. It appears that Asuka really did have no passionate emotions to record. Shinji was right in guessing that she was completely cold-hearted….
He found an entry. It was small…..but it was better then nothing.
December 2My first day as a true Evangelion pilot. Kaji brought me aboard a naval aircraft carrier where we would await the arrival of the Japanese NERV members (including Misato). When they arrived, I was surprised to see that Kaji knew Misato. Though she really is no match for me…no threat at all. Kaji will forever be mine.
There was a boy there too. Kind of scrawny, and is about as stupid as he looks. His friends are about the same way too, only dumber. But the first is apparently an Eva pilot, though it looks like they really were desperate when choosing their candidates…
Shinji scoffed at the entry in disgust. Nothing new under the sun; just the same old Asuka as usual. He flipped the pages and found another entry, dated several days after that.
December 6
I don't believe it! Misato actually expects ME to spent my every waking moment with this…this…baka! It wasn't my fault that this baka threw me off during the battle! And now as punishment, we are forced to stay together! Sick bastards…we're teenaged, and yet they force us to share one room together!
Mein gott, what where they thinking?! Don't they realize that this boy is nothing more then a whiny, insecure kid?! Do they really expect me to believe that this boy is the famous Third Child?!
I really hate that baka…
Shinji shrugged. Nothing new to read in this entry either; the same bitchy Asuka. He flipped to the next entry (apparently, Asuka knew that the latch was broken and decided to hide her entries deeper inside of the book.)
December 10
…I was wrong about Shinji…
Shinji's eyes widened for a second and he dropped the book on impulse. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating and picked up the book again. He reread the entry.
December 10
…I was wrong about Shinji…
Yesterday, he did something that was actually…very brave. It was my mission to recover an Angel egg from an active volcano, which turned out to be not as thrilling as I imagined. I still shudder at the size of that plug suit…
Anyway, I did manage to capture the egg successfully, but it surprised us all by hatching too early. The Angel attacked me from all sides, and knocked my prog knife away. I defeated the monster nonetheless, thanks to Shinji's prog knife. But…I was afraid that it was too late for me. Instead of ascending to the top of the Lava pool, I only sunk…faster and faster and faster. I thought it was the end…
Until he saved me. I couldn't believe it at the time… but that Baka, the one I called spineless and weak, saved my life without hesitation. He really is…the famous Third Child.
Why? Why did he save ME? I realize that I was very unkind to him in the past…so why did he go out of his way to save me?
…I have to find out…but I can't ask him. He would think there is something wrong with me…
"no…..no….I wouldn't," Shinji spoke slowly and softly, as if he were speaking to her in the pages. He quickly turned the next page in hopes of finding another entry. He found one a few pages later, dated a couple of months after the volcano incident.
February 10
It has been several months since I first came to Tokyo-3, and I' am still unable to ask why Shinji saved me that day…
But…I don't know why. Sometimes, whenever I look at him, I feel warm inside; and when I see his eyes, they tell that everything is going to be just fine. But when I look at him other times…I feel angry. Angry at him for being a better pilot than me. Therefore, I can't show him that I am interested in his well-being; the sudden change of my emotions might frighten him as much as they do to me.
I just treat him like I normally do…though that is not how I always feel. And that is why I cannot discover the truth behind his saving me. I tried to repay the favor by supporting him in battle a few weeks after the volcano, but it wasn't that much of a reward…and…I don't know how I could possibly help him..
That's it. There is no turning back; I have to find out the truth this instant. The truth of why he saved me.
I have a feeling that when I do ask…there won't be an easy answer…for the both of us.
Shinji thought hard over this last statement. He couldn't recall ever discussing such a thing with Asuka, nor did he ever realize that this was bothering her for so long. He flipped to next page; this entry was dated for the next day…
February 11
He's gone…my Shinji is gone…
I feel…empty…
Those were the only words in that entry. Something big must have happened that day…though the memory escaped Shinji...
'….February 11…that was around the time when that one Angel swallowed me she be thinking of the same incident?'
That seemed like the most logical explanation, though the sorrowful words in this entry were a bit unlike Asuka. The page was even stained with…what appeared to be tears.
Shinji felt a small warm sensation inside his heart; someone actually cared…that he was gone.
He smiled softly and turned page to the next entry.
February 15
He's back. Shinji…MY Shinji…was finally rescued from that awful shadow. I don't how they did it, all I know is that he's back within my reach now.
I still can't believe it; it must be…it HAS to be a miracle. Not only a miracle, but a second chance to get closer to him…I can't blow it this time…if I don't do it now, I may never get another chance. But it has to be subtle; everything has to planned.
I can't let him know that I…love him.
Shinji's heart skipped a beat when he read those words. He continued reading the following entries, completely compelled by the strong attraction to her words.
The next entry was dated three weeks later.
March 3
…Hikari asked me to go out with this one guy she knew. She must figure that I'm lonely or something. Of course I can never be lonely, as long as I have Shinji near me.
I accepted. I figure this would be the perfect opportunity to see if Shinji does have any feelings for me; try to get him jealous. If that doesn't work, then I have no choice…
I'm going to have to kiss him. That is the only way to know for sure…whether my feelings for him are real, and if he has any for me.
Shinji gulped slightly, seeing what was going to happen next.
March 4
…I did it. I can't believe it myself, but I finally got a hold of Shinji and gave him something he will never forget.
Of course, I did plug his nose the whole time…but what could I do? His breath was too ticklish…
The point is, I finally found out what I needed to know about my feelings. They ARE authentic…true love at last…I know it is!
As for Shinji…I…can't tell…
Shinji shuddered slightly. This happened every time the thoughts of that kiss came back to him. It was one of his first kisses, and it ended up being the most frightening moment of his life…
Shaking his head, he continued to the next entry. This one was odder then the others. No date was posted…and the handwriting seemed…shaky.
…I can't go near him…not anymore…
Mama…
Shinji raised an eyebrow. This was weird; and Shinji could only guess that this was written around the time of Asuka's incident with the angel in the upper atmosphere. Since the writing was so short and erratic…Auska must have been in a lot of pain at the time.
Shinji turned the page. It wasn't dated, but the handwriting matched the previous pages.
..Help me Shinji…help…please…
Shinji gasped slightly. It was strange; at that moment, he swore that he could hear Asuka shouting those words out to him…a cry for help.
Shinji turned the page, but to his dismay there was no entry. Frantically, he turned every page hoping to find some more of Asuka's words.
…nothing. He turned the pages back to the final entry, and held the book lightly in his lap.
…Help me Shinji…help…please…
He started sobbing, and soon tears fell from his eyes; soaking the book in the process. For some strange reason, he actually felt…pity. Pity for Asuka, the girl he thought he loathed and accused of being cold-hearted.
But more ever, he felt regret for not being there when Asuka needed him the most. And now, there was nothing he could about it. Asuka was gone from his life, and never coming back. His sobbing became more spastic as warm tears poured down his face.
'Why am I crying? Why do I suddenly wish to see her again? All she did was hurt me…'
But Shinji knew damn well that that wasn't the truth. True, she was rather annoying…but she still took notice of him. And she did treat him differently from other people she interacted with. She had to have felt something for Shinji…and she did. The diary told him everything he wanted to know.
…Unfortunately, it still came all too late. He had his chance, and there was no turning back. He would never be able to find Asuka…and if he did, she wouldn't want to talk to a pitiful man like him…
For the first time in his life, Shinji felt true inner pain. Not the petty kind he would feel when moping, but the kind that is felt when something important is lost.
But there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do was cry, nothing more.
Setting: earlier that morning.
"hm?"
It was a typical Sunday morning; a nice brisk morning, where a long stroll through the park seemed more than necessary. Everyone was doing it nowadays, ever since Tokyo-3 was rebuilt. And it was no different for this middle-aged gentleman, who happened to find the park as his source of tranquility. He came here almost every morning after all.
He was a fairly handsome man, though age has done a small toll on him. His hair was purple and his eyes shined brightly against the bright sunrise. He seemed like the type who liked to care for children, or maybe a significant other at the very least. Though that was the belief, this man was surprisingly unmarried, and currently uninterested in a proper love interest.
No. He was just an ordinary man who hoped to find his happiness someday, and so far no luck has come to him. But he really wasn't the type to get down about it; instead, he would just lift himself from his feet and carry himself onward into the light of another day. Someday…a sign would reveal itself and direct him down the path he needs to go.
…..but never would he believe that such a sign would come from a homeless girl sleeping on a park bench.
'hm?' He repeated after confirming that the person curled up tightly was indeed alive and human. He was lucky to spot her actually; it was still sunrise, and she seemed perfectly camouflaged within that coat of hers. It wasn't her appearance that gave her away, it was the consistent mumbling in her sleep that did it.
Reluctantly, he walked over to the restless girl.
"um….Shinji…please…..help me……"
He stopped in his tracks suddenly, in fear that his loud walking my have caused her to stir. Luckily, she was still fast asleep; but she was still whispering about…something.
The man continued forward.
"leave me alone baka…I….I …hate….."
the man stopped again. He was almost certain that she was talking to him, because her voice was a little louder and distinct. But regardless of that, she kept her eyes closed; she was still sleeping.
The man reached out an arm and shook her gently on the shoulder.
"Shinji….don't leave me…….I hate you…I don't need anybody…especially an idiot like him…..Shinji…help.."
He shook her a little harder, but that didn't seem to work either. This time, he needed to try something a little different; like actually talking to her.
"Excuse young lady, but are you-"
"LEAVE ME ALONE BAKA HENTAI!" The young girl jumped up and began flailing her arms at the intruder. The frightened man jumped away instantly and began talking the girl the down calmly.
"Whoa! Whoa! Calm down….I' am not going hurt you….calm down…."
The young lady's eyes opened, and her breathing became less and less hyperactive. She looked at her surroundings and slowly began to realize where see was.
"..the Park." The girl sat back against the park bench and slowly attempted to remember the events of last night.
"Yes, that's right. And why exactly are you sleeping here?' The young man was quick to ask her, seeing as she was finally coherent enough to deal with.
"….I don't remem-," Asuka stopped in mid-sentence as dark memories slowly began to emerge. She could see the dining room…..the dinner Shinji prepared…..Shinji, smiling at her genuinely…herself, talking energetically…..a turned over table….Shinji on the ground, battered by the contents of the table….Asuka, looking down at him with uncontrollable rage….she left the room, with Shinji burnt and wounded.
"Baka…" Was the only word she whispers.
The man turned his head and looked at with peculiarity, "baka? who?"
Asuka snapped from her light daze and giggled slightly, "no one important. Just some….boy I know. Or 'knew' anyway."
"a boy you knew huh? Did he die or something?"
Asuka shook her head, "No, he's just nothing more than a big liar. I can't live with someone like that"
She turned her head and faced the man, "And why are you asking?"
The man chuckled weakly and nodded, "I'm sorry; I was just curious on why such a young lady like you is out here in on a freezing morning like this."
"oh. I see…" Asuka said with a slight blush, "well then, I should at least give you my name first. My name is-"
"It's Asuka, right? Asuka Langley?" The man asked nonchalantly.
Asuka looked at him with astonishment. "That's right. How did you know?"
"sigh….clearly, no one remembers who there own doctor is…."
Asuka could only draw a blank. She did not recognize this man.
"Alright then, I'll tell you. My name is Heoken Noeseke. It took a little while to figure it out, but you were once a patient in the hospital here around six years ago. I was pretty sure I knew your name, since I rarely forget a patient." He explained while taking a seat next to her.
Asuka knocked herself on the head, " that's right! Your that man that was with Shinji in the hospital!"
"Shinji? So it that the big liar?" Heoken asked teasingly.
Asuka stuck her nose in the air, "hmph. I really don't want to talk about him right now. He's nothing but a spineless baka anyway…completely useless…."
"I see…" The man spoke with a slight degree of curiosity.
"Are you still a doctor Mr. Noseke?" Asuka asked in hopes of changing the subject.
"No, not anymore. I quit doing that about 4 years ago," Heoken stated promptly.
"Why?"
"Well this may sound crass, but I suppose that it is because I didn't enjoy doing it. It was all about work and money apparently; not about the people you treated. I tried to believe that I was doing it to save lives, but I found no such joy. So I just quit, end of story." Heoken explained.
"What do you plan on doing now?"
"Well…I'm not really sure. I do know that I like to help people, but the problem is that I don't know how. But I will find out, someday. Hopefully someday soon." Heoken added with a chuckle.
Asuka nodded with understanding and smiled weakly. Heoken looked over at her and studied her condition. She seemed very fatigued, and especially cold. This was no place for a girl her age to be in the early morning…
"You look like you can some use some food. Care to come with me?" Heoken asked bluntly.
Asuka looked at him with suspicion, "Don't get any funny ideas…I still don't trust you…."
Heoken took the hint, though the 'ideas' she was talking about never really crossed his mind in the first place.
"Look at me Asuka. I have to be at least 15 years older then you, I wouldn't even dream of such an idea. And you can easily beat down a man like me anyway…..believe it or not, I am incredibly feeble."
Asuka looked at him and saw sincerity and truth in face. He really wasn't lying; and if he was, then he would to face a very uncomfortable death from Asuka herself.
"Alright. I'll come…..food sounds pretty nice right about now…"
Heoken smiled again and lifted himself off the park bench. He brushed off his jacket and turned towards Asuka.
"Alright then. Follow me."
"Shinji! Asuka! I'm here!"
A jovial Misato opened up the door to the silent apartment and peeked inside. At first, she was expecting to see a couple of signs of life around here, but there was no such life around. In fact, not a single light in the house was on. And the room was absolutely freezing, meaning that the thermostat has been touched in some time. This worried Misato at first; Shinji and Asuka may have once again abandoned their home to live life elsewhere…
But she dismissed that idea instantly. They had no reason to leave now, especially in this time of crisis. Besides, they couldn't leave town even if they wanted to; the roads were blocked off by the authorities, and were only opened during a large-scale attack. No one would be let out or into the city until further notice.
So escape really wasn't an option to anyone at this point, especially to the two occupants of this home. Misato took off her shoes and walked inside the empty apartment. She looked in the kitchen and found signs of struggle: an overturned table, silverware and food on the floor, chairs turned over, etc.
Misato panicked and turned on the kitchen light. She bent down and investigated the cold floor carefully; there were no signs of blood….the only stains were those caused by the food that cascaded downward when the table was overturned. That mean that either this struggle wasn't that intense, or someone may have gotten a hold of both Shinji and Asuka…
Misato really wished that she put surveillance on this building now. She walked around and began turning on all the lights, seeing if there was anything else out of the ordinary. And hopefully, she could find some sort of clue that would explain their disappearances…
"Shinji?! Asuka!? Is there someone in here?" Misato called out with worry. She would never forgive herself if something happened to either one of them.
She stepped into the living room and flicked on the lights. Her eyes widened with joy.
"Shinji!"
There he was, Shinji on the couch with his head facing the ground. Oddly enough, he didn't answer her when she called. He held a book in his hand, but was no longer looking at it. He stood perfectly still….like a statue in the park would.
Misato took a few steps and stopped a couple a feet across from Shinji. She looked at the ground to see what Shinji was looking at; there was nothing…apart from the dark stains on the ground. But they weren't bloodstains in the least. They appeared to be tears….
"Shinji…what's going here? Where's Asuka?" Misato asked worriedly. Something bad must have happened to Asuka….she could feel it…
"..She's gone. She left last night, " Shinji stated with absolutely no emotion in his voice.
"Gone?! Where did she go to Shinji?!" Misato shouted.
Shinji stared at the ground and didn't say a word, as if he didn't hear her.
"Where did she go Shinji?! Answer me!" Misato demanded. She was too worried to be playing pity games with Shinji.
"…I don't know Misato. We had a fight and she left. She hasn't been back since." Shinji said in a matter-of-fact tone.
Misato looked back at the mess in the kitchen, "Is that what happened in there?"
Shinji raised his head and nodded. His face was stained with tears, like he had been crying for hours. Misato sighed and took a seat adjacent to Shinji. She felt relieved that her children weren't hurt, but she was disappointed in them.
"Shinji….what am I going to do about you too? I thought you worked things out…"
Shinji nodded again, "I thought so too Misato, but something went wrong. Asuka….she still treats me the same way…..she still calls me baka and abuses me; it's like she hasn't grown up at all. Nothing has changed…"
Misato looked at him oddly, "so she treats the exact same way as she did six years ago?"
Shinji thought that over for second as thoughts about his intimate moments with Asuka went through his mind.
"…No, I guess not. But Misato, she still does call me baka….all the time. And when I told her to stop it, it eventually lead to this," Shinji stated while gesturing towards the kitchen.
Misato sighed again, " Shinji, are you really so fragile? Haven't you grown up enough to realize that she was joking….no…flirting with you? You are the only one she calls baka after all."
Shinji didn't realize that at the time. Asuka did tell him that 'baka' was his pet name; nonetheless, that didn't stop him from retorting.
"Still…those words hurt…."
Misato was finished yet, " then has it ever occurred to you that you haven't changed that much either? You used to act this way whenever something bad happened."
"………Yeah…..I know that…..but…I don't know what to do about it…."
" It's simple Shinji, just accept the fact that you haven't changed and move on. You don't have to be this way if you don't want to. you can learn to be more accepting of Asuka's displays of affection for starters.."
"Displays of affection? Misato, she practically abuses me!" Shinji replied.
"Well then you don't have to be with her Shinji! You always have that choice! If you don't love her, then don't stay with her! It's perfectly logical." Misato added, though she herself wasn't too fond of the idea.
"That's actually what I thought at first…until I read this." Shinji handed the diary to Misato, who took it with reluctance.
"….Is this Asuka's diary?" Misato asked, looking at the red book with the gold lock.
"Yeah…I'm sorry that I read it, but I wasn't myself at the time…I was still angry with Asuka…" Shinji exclaimed guiltily.
Misato opened up the booklet easily and scanned the pages. They both remained quiet as Misato read the entries carefully and considerably. By the look on her face, she seemed as surprised as Shinji was with these entries. After about ten minutes, she closed the book promptly and looked over that Shinji and smiled.
"These…are all about you Shinji."
He smiled back and nodded, " Yeah…"
Misato couldn't help but keep on smiling, " don't you understand Shinji? She couldn't help but think about you, even in her darkest moment. She loves you Shinji….she loved you for so long…"
His face saddened, " I know she does. And I'm glad I know that now but…it's too late. There's no way that she would to be with me now. And that's probably for the best anyway…"
Misato almost slapped the boy, "Shinji, what are saying?! Go find her! If she truly does love you, then you have nothing to fear. Why are letting a petty fight you had a few hours ago get in your way?!"
"Because she still hurts me! That's why it's too late! How can I live with someone who treats me like that?" Shinji added stubbornly.
"….That's something you have to talk about with her. Listen, I have a feeling that Asuka has some of her own problems to work out right now. I'm sure that that is the real reason why she left. Once you find her, I'm certain that she will be more understanding."
Shinji didn't say anything.
"Listen….she doesn't hate you Shinji. And apparently, she never did hate you; she just has a hard time expressing herself, like you. But unlike you, she expresses her romantic feelings by insulting you. After all, you are the only one she calls 'baka'. To her, it seems like the only way to get your attention."
Shinji still didn't want speak.
"….Like I said Shinji, you can still change. You can stop taking her light insults seriously, and learn to accept them as her way of showing affection. As for the abuse….tell her that you don't like it. Simple as that. If she truly loves you (and I am certain she does), then she will understand."
Shinji didn't answer. Instead…..he smiled.
"Shinji?"
"Ok Misato, I understand now. I….I do love her. And I want to continue being with her. If that is the price to pay, then I'll take it. I'll change for the better."
"….Thank you Shinji. Asuka and myself will both be proud of you. Now go out there and find her fast. It's starting to snow."
Shinji looked out the window and saw bright white snowflakes falling against the glowing twilight. It was starting to get dark outside as well.
Shinji grabbed his coat and darted for the door. He opened the entrance as a cold chill filled the room.
"Misato?"
Misato turned her head away from the diary and looked at Shinji, "yes?"
"….thank you."
He smiled at her and walked through the entrance, shutting the door behind him. Misato smiled back at the empty hallway and looked down at the diary. She flipped the pages with her thumb and glanced at the entries as they sped by.
"…Love at first sight. It is possible…."
Setting: Late that evening
"How does ramen sound?"
Asuka gave the man a disgusted look. She really didn't feel like eating ramen right now; after all, that was the primary meal of choice during her little adventure with the Evangelion.
"ugh! I'm sick of ramen…do have anything else? Oh! Do you happen to have curry instead?"
Heoken nodded in response and headed to the kitchen to prepare their meals. His apartment was about the same size of Asuka's back in Tokyo-2; it wasn't too tidy either….typical for a male's apartment. However, it was very warm and at least she could get some food.
Heoken and herself were out all day window-shopping around Tokyo-3, in hopes of taking her mind off of current events. It was all her idea, though Heoken was willing to go with it (seeing as he had no choice). They went out to a small restaurant where Asuka enjoyed a delicious meal, then they arrived back to his apartment later that evening. She got no shopping done whatsoever, but at least it took her mind off of things.
Asuka took her seat at a nearby couch, the only one in the whole apartment to be honest. It was actually very fortunate that this apartment reminded her so much of hers. It made it easier for her to get comfortable; and if she stayed here, she would have a reminder of the good old days back in Tokyo-2.
She laid back against the couch as she contently remembered her first day on the job. She smiled as she remembered the time when she first found her apartment. Soon a whole foray of memories bombarded her all at once…..the shopping mall…..her few friends from the restaurant….the kind customers…..the everlasting rain…..someone else there….a boy….a boy whom she loved…..Shinji….
Asuka gasped and clutched her head, as if she were in some serious pain. She made a mistake coming here; it only reminded of the one person she had been desperately trying to forget. And now, she felt her mind overflow with all the memories she had once shared with that…Baka…
'urgh! I can't even call someone an idiot without thinking about him!'
Heoken stepped into the room, noticing that something odd was happening with his guest. She was sitting on the couch; bent over and clutching her head as if she was experiencing the world's worst migraine.
"Are you alright?" He asked.
Asuka stopped clutching her head and looked up at the worried Heoken. She managed to push away those recollections…for now.
"Yeah, I'm okay," She remarked while putting on a feign smile.
Heoken wasn't convinced. Something was seriously bothering this girl; he noticed it ever since he found her on the park bench. And it didn't take a genius to figure out that it had something to with that boy Shinji.
He took a seat on the floor across from Asuka and spoke carefully.
"Listen, I only met this Shinji boy once, and from my point of view he seems like a really nice guy. He doesn't look like the type to make stupid mistakes often."
Asuka chuckled. This guy couldn't be more wrong about Shinji.
"Then you don't anything about him. He is an idiot, and he does make mistakes all the time. Those are the only things he's ever good at."
Heoken nodded in understanding, "I see. But I'm sure that he has some good points; you know…those rare moments when he doesn't make mistakes?"
Asuka scoffed. Everything he seems to do right always goes awry in the end. Like when he brought her back to this city, for example. But she decided to humor her host, and thought hard about any time when Shinji wasn't a total idiot.
After a few minutes, she shook her head in defeat. Asuka could not find a single good thing about Shinji.
"Come on…there has to be a time when he did something honorable. If not, then how did you fall in love with him in the first place?" He exclaimed.
He was right. There had be some impressive qualities to Shinji. She certainly would never fall in love with a completely submissive boy. There was definitely something more to Shinji, and only one question came to mind.
'When did I first fall in love?'
Asuka thought these words over, triggering a sequential display of images in her mind. First, she saw Kaji; the man she gotten to become quite attached to. Though, she only really did it to prove that she wasn't a child; so, in the strictest sense, she was really only using him.
Then she saw images of when she first met Shinji aboard the 'Over the Rainbow'. She remembered how weak he looked compared to her, and how he would always appear to be uncomfortable with everything. His expression was always the same: innocent, dumb, and uncertain. That's it. She couldn't believe that he really was the Third Child at first, so she had to rival him to be certain. And if he was, then she had to prove that she was better than some famous child.
That attitude got her a one-way ticket to Misato's apartment, where she was required to spend her time with Shinji. One would think that spending time with another would expose all their good qualities, but they are sadly mistaken. True, he made good company when she was absolutely desperate; but besides that, she found nothing.
Then another image appeared in her head: the volcano. The only time in her young life where she stared at death straight in the eyes and nearly lost her life. It was also the only time that she was ever truly afraid; and the first time she wished that someone was there to help her….
"Shinji…."
That's right. It was Shinji who rescued her from the volcano. He reached his hands into the burning magma and grasped Asuka tightly; another second later, and she would have been toast. Asuka remembered looking into his eyes then…and she didn't see that usual innocent, dumb, and uncertain look. Instead, she saw the eyes of a courageous young man, saving a young lady in distress. It was then that she realized that he really was the famous third child…..and a hero. That was when she fell in love.
"hm? Did you find something?"
Asuka remained silent for a second, and nodded.
"I remember that he was really courageous sometimes. It was very impressive…."
"heh. See? He does have his good points. So then why all the fuss? Why don't you openly love him for good traits anymore?"
Asuka took a deep breath. She truly didn't have a straight answer to that question.
"Well whenever he did something amazing, I tend to get…jealous. I thought that I was better, and that I should be the amazing one."
"I see…so, you're saying that you don't love him because he makes you jealous?"
"yeah. That's about it," Asuka replied, "he didn't deserve to be amazing and famous when all he really did was mope and sulk. He's just a spineless idiot who happens to get lucky."
"Man. if jealousy destroys the love all around the world, then we would all be cold and lonely. You see Asuka, jealousy is something that cannot be helped. Everyone is born with it, and everyone dies with it. The only thing we can do is control it to a point where we aren't affected by it. So to me, it sounds like the problem is you."
Asuka's face tweaked with anger, "WHAT?! Are you saying that it's my fault that I hate him? "
Heoken shrugged, "Of course. It was your choice to hate him, not his."
" Well then let me tell you something idiot! I wouldn't hate Shinji so much if he weren't so weak and passive! If he were more courageous, then things would still be the way they are."
"But then wouldn't you get jealous? Wouldn't you hate him even more?" Heoken added.
"Well……I……." Asuka stuttered and ended up with no response. He was right once again; her jealousy would only get in the way of the truth. The truth being that Shinji is truly a nice guy and that he deserves to be loved as much as anyone else did. Sadly, her jealousy contained that love for Shinji, and the only person he saw was the annoying, competitive Asuka.
But didn't she tried to get rid of that jealousy once before? A few weeks ago, she met Shinji for the first time in six years. He tried to get closer, but she drove him out; and that very night…she had a revelation. She decided to change herself so that she could be closer to Shinji, and it worked. She became a new person and received true happiness in return.
But happened to that Asuka now?
She spoke quietly, "…I thought I changed. Really, I did. I wanted to be a different person for Shinji, and I thought it worked. Heh….it looks like it didn't. After I learned that he was still weak-hearted, I just went back to being my jealous old self….as if nothing has changed…"
Heoken smiled in agreement.
"That makes sense. And you did the right thing, attempting to change for the person you love. But then you realized that he hasn't changed that much either (though he's tried), meaning that he is not so loving as thought." Heoken took it all in carefully.
Asuka nodded.
"You can still do something about it, you know. You can still change, and that will make him want to change too. As a great man once said: 'your ticket to the future…is always blank.' ," Heoken explained.
Asuka looked at him oddly, "so that's what I should do? Learn from my mistake, and attempt to change again?
"That is exactly what you should do. Don't give on a relationship so easily," Heoken stated, "if you truly love him, then don't let jealousy get in the way. Control it before it controls you."
It sounded simple; too simple for Asuka to believe.
"But that's not realistic. Sure, I can learn to be less jealous, but what about Shinji? What if he doesn't change and continues to be the whiny baka he has always been?"
Heoken put a hand on his chin and thought this over seriously. After a few seconds, he gave her a clever smile and replied.
"If he doesn't learn to change, then he clearly doesn't take this relationship seriously. But if he is willing to bite the bullet and become just a little more assertive, then I would have to say that he truly does care about you….deeply."
Asuka smiled. Those words touched her heart big time. At one point in time, Shinji was more assertive and dependable; meaning that he did truly care for her then. But what about now? Does he still hate her? She really couldn't blame him for not wanting to see her anymore, but she had to talk to him and show him that she was capable of becoming more loving….truly loving. And if he still loves her…then he will believe in her.
Trust is what truly matters.
"Thank you, Mr. Heoken. I know what I have to do now."
Heoken chuckled slightly and stood up off the floor.
"Your welcome. I trust that you don't want any curry then…"
"Yeah…sorry, to make you go to the trouble. Can I ask you a question though?" Asuka said as she stood up to her feet as well.
"What is it?"
"Well….I was just wondering why were so willing to help me. No offense, but you still are a stranger to me…and yet you were kind enough to take me in. Why?"
Heoken rubbed the back of his neck and looked to the ground.
"I told you. I like to help people…."
Asuka smiled. She approached the embarrassed man and gave him a pat on the shoulder. He looked at her oddly as she walking to the door and grabbed her coat.
"You'd make a great counselor someday, Mr. Noseke."
Heoken didn't say a word; instead, he put a hand to his chin and pondered. Asuka waited a few seconds for a response but got none.
"Thanks for the hospitality Mr. Heoken. I'll see you around!" Asuka added impatiently as she shut the door behind her.
In the meantime, Heoken just stood in the living and continued thinking over the words that the young girl had gave him. For some reason, he took special consideration to them.
"Counselor…..hmm….."
It was beginning to snow in the city of Tokyo-3. A strange phenomenon for this area, considering that the city itself has lived in a never-ending summer since the Second Impact. Therefore, the citizens were all glad to see a slight change in the weather; even it was cold and dry. They just couldn't help but admire the beauty of the snowflakes falling against the lights of nighttime Tokyo-3.
A lone figure was seen sprinting down the almost empty streets. It was getting late, meaning that most people have already decided to leave the cold atmosphere in order to receive some well deserved rest. But not this person; he still had a goal to complete before calling it quits. It was a goal that would probably leave him restless for days on end, if his luck should be bad.
This boy's mission was to apologize to the only girl he has ever loved; or loves, to be more proper. He realized that he has made a mistake, and now he was willing to face even the bitter cold in order to find this special person. Alas, it was true love.
Meanwhile on the other side of the city, another strange figure was spotted running down the icy streets as well. Yet unlike the other, this figure was distinctly feminine; with long, bright-red hair and a lovely face to boot. She was a heartthrob to most of the boys who had once been acquainted to her, and she still was to many others. No one would even guess that this young lady was searching for a boy of her own; a boy who didn't appear to be one who would steal the hearts of beautiful women.
Indeed, this girl was searching for the boy on the opposite side of town, and she was willing to do whatever possible in order to figure out if his feelings for her were real. She was equally relentless as her significant other, and just as loving. The fight between them was meaningless and petty, yet they found themselves hating one another as a result. Fortunately, they both realized the error of their mistakes and were both willing to make for them. They still had their 'blank tickets' to the future on hand.
Things looked good for this couple; that is….if they ever do find one another in this bright yet empty streets.
There was another here. A man who, despite his dirty appearance and lack of decent clothing, was actually kind-hearted to the people who looked down upon him. Yet he had no love for anyone, since no one had any love for him. He was a derelict after all; a man of the streets, bound to a lifetime of poverty and loneliness (properties that he did not mind having). No one would know about what character this man had, and what he could have became if fate had dealt him a decent hand. A tragic tale for a money based world.
But if this poor man was uncaring about his current situation, then why did he so persistently stalk the lone boy down the street?
Shinji didn't even notice that dark figure that chased him down the street-lit sidewalks; all Shinji really cared about was getting to Asuka, by any means possible. She was the only person he could think about right now, and nothing else seemed to matter. Not even the safety of his own life.
Yet the same thought kept on striking his mind: Where on Earth could she possibly be?
Shinji had no real leads; his best guess would be that she was at the park, since that was where she used to go when she felt a need for privacy. Since Hikari hasn't even made it into the plot yet, there was no way that Asuka could be at her place. Shinji also severely doubted that she would be desperate enough to search for Toji (in fact, she would much rather sleep in the park…).
Then again, there was the worse-case scenario: she could have been struck down by a mysterious stranger who wanted his way with her; then he would leave her for dead…or worse…..
The likelihood of that situation was not very possible, yet Shinji couldn't help but worry about it. He knew that Asuka was capable of handling herself, yet she couldn't stand a chance against someone who was, let's say, twice her weight in muscle. Therefore, he was encouraged to keep on moving forward, in hopes of finding her in the park somewhere. He had to find her…and tell (once again) that he was sorry….really sorry…
Shinji should be worrying for his own life as well…for that man chasing him in the darkness was not too far behind…
Asuka had just made it to the park. Heoken's place was only a few blocks away from this location, so it really didn't take her that long to reach it. Her plan was to head back to the apartment the way she came, since it really was the only way she knew how. Fortunately, she did know the way well enough to make it home without mishap. She would go inside, have a nice long talk with Shinji, and then rest peacefully in his arms (if everything should go well with them….).
She stood by the park bench where she once slept and began breathing rapidly. It really was too cold for running, since it's especially difficult to breath in cold weather. She had to catch her breath before running the rest of the way, which would be the real challenge. The apartment was still far away, and here she already had to take a rest.
She took a few more breaths and then began sprinting through the wooden park. She could feel her lungs burn with every breath she took, but she didn't care. Just the thought of being with Shinji was enough to make her push forward, even through all the pain and suffering.
She only wished for Shinji's acceptance; an ironic desire for this girl.
Asuka ran across the street and began jogging those long 9 blocks to the apartment.
Shinji turned the corner rapidly and ran across the empty street to the opposite side. The roads were slick, but he could handle a little ice. He ran straight down the sidewalk and turned the next corner; the park should only be 8-9 blocks away. It was good thing that his physical condition could handle rough air like this. He couldn't believe how fast he was running…
'Almost there…hold on Asuka! I need to find you…please be alive. Oh God…please be alive…'
One second later, Shinji felt his body fly straight into the cold dark air. His feet came into contact with a sheet of solid ice along the sidewalk.
'SHIT! Shouldn't have ran so fast…'
Shinji cringed his teeth and closed his eyes; he waited for his body to land on the ground; when it did, he could distinctly hear a loud cracking noise.
A few moments later, he opened his eyes and looked around him. He didn't feel any pain…apart from the slight soreness in his back. He sighed in relief and began lifting himself up with his arms, still determined to sprint the rest of the way to the park.
"OW! Damn it…"
Shinji dropped his arms to the ground and let his body plop on the cold sidewalk. He did something serious to his back. He couldn't even move it without hurting.
'Oh man, oh man, oh man…what do I do now? I can't move and there isn't anyone in sight….'
Shinji couldn't be more wrong. There were at least two people out on the streets nearby: the determined Asuka, and the dangerous derelict approaching Shinji slowly from behind.
Now was the man's chance to kill this boy once and for all. He followed Shinji this whole time in hopes of catching him off guard. Once that window opens, he would kill the boy in one swift blow, then he would go after the other one….the girl….
His motives are unknown, but his capability of killing is strong. Shinji was like a wounded deer being chased by the vicious wolf; he was in the palm of the derelict's hand. Therefore, the older man took his time and slowly walked towards the downed boy. He was less than 50 feet away, and would soon have his moment of murder…
Shinji could hear footsteps approaching him.
He called out eagerly to the approaching figure, "Hello?! Can you please help me?! Ow…"
There was no response, but the footsteps kept getting closer. It was as if this man (or woman) couldn't even hear his pleas for help.
Shinji shouted frantically again, "HELLO?! PLEASE, COULD YOU CALL AN AMBULANCE?!"
A few blocks away, Auska could hear some faint echoes coming her way. The voice was faint, but it was distinctly male. It sounded as if he were in some serious trouble. Asuka continued her course towards the source of the voice. Seeing as no one else was on the streets, she was the only one that could possibly help.
'hang in there….I'm coming…' Asuka repeated mentally.
The man was now only 15 feet away from the wounded Shinji; the time was almost at hand. Slowly, he reached into his back pocket and withdrew a rusty survival knife. It was way too useless for survival, but it would be strong enough (and long enough) to pierce straight through to the heart. The derelict took a steady hold of the knife as his eyes gleamed with passion and bloody rage.
Shinji could hear the footsteps getting even closer. He stopped calling out for help as he grew increasingly uneasy about the approaching shadow; indeed, there was something odd about this person….as if it were death himself, delivering a good case of impending doom. And all that Shinji could do was stare at the black sky….watching the snowflakes gently descend to the frozen Earth….
The footsteps grew louder with each second; Shinji could feel his heartbeat pace faster and faster with anxiousness. Then the footsteps stopped dead in their steps. Shinji waited for something to happen, but nothing came…
Then a hooded figure loomed over Shinji's head, holding a large icy blade in one hand. Death had came for him….in the form of a human being….
"w-who are you?" was all that Shinji could stutter out. He could feel the cold fear flow through his veins as he stared up into the vengeful eyes of the hooded man. The eyes were the only things he could see….
"……1…1…." This word dripped from this man's mouth like venom. It was enough to freeze the blood of even the bravest man. Nonetheless, the word didn't appear to have any meaning…
"what the hell?," Shinji whispered in confusion. Suddenly, the man placed one hand on Shinji's chest. It felt so cold that Shinji could feel shivers all the way up and down his injured spine.
With his other hand, the man extended the rusty knife as if prepared to thrust that thing straight into Shinji's heart. Shinji closed his eyes tightly, ready for whatever pain awaited him…
'the end?……already?…..but….I have to see Asuka again….'
The sound of a knife thrusting downward was heard.
'…NO! I won't go this easily! I love Asuka! I can't die without seeing her face one more time!'
The sound stopped. All was quiet for a few moments.
Shinji could feel a warm fluid flow across his chest. It smelled distinctly like blood. Slowly, Shinji opened his eyes to get one last look at this world before he would take his last breath.
'This is it….I'm sorry Asuka….I failed you, and now I lay here dying with regrets. I'm….I'm so-"
But he wasn't hurting at all. In fact, he wasn't even bleeding. The knife missed him by inches and landed next to his side.
'..I'm alright. But…what's that smell?' Shinji pondered. He looked up and stared horrifically as the derelict started leaking before his very eyes. A familiar yellow fluid pierced out of the man's flesh and trickled across Shinji's body. It wasn't blood that Shinji smelled; it was LCL.
Shinji used all his strength to push the body aside. It fell limply next to him, forming a puddle across the sidewalk and over the street. It was hard to believe how fast a body this size could melt…
Shinji turned his head away from it; is was too disgusting for any sane person to watch. The smell of the blood….the gargling and bubbling noises…they were all too gross.
A voice spoke out from the fleshy yellow mass. It was slightly garbled and barely a whisper.
'….he is bounded. Cannot….kill…'
Then the voice, along with the rest of body, disappeared into a deep yellow puddle. Shinji stared at the liquid, and then looked up at the sky. The snow was still falling, but this time, Shinji took the time to enjoy it. His life was spared…
But the killer's words dumbfounded Shinji. What did he mean by bounding?
'cannot kill bounded people? What does that mean?'
Asuka zipped around the corner and frantically searched for the source of the voice. She tried to follow it as hard as she could, but it stopped shortly after. She put her hands on both sides of her mouth and shouted out.
"HELLO? ANYONE?"
Shinji ears rang like a bell. That voice….that beautiful voice….was pure ecstasy for his battered soul. It was her…the familiar red-head German he had come to know and love….
"ASUKA!"
Asuka's heart nearly jumped out of her chest. That familiar voice that called out to her….it couldn't possibly be him….
Asuka turned instantly turned to the apparent location of the voice and spotted an isolated figure laying on the ground.
"SHINJI!" Auska called out with a mix of happiness and horror; happiness for having seen him again, and horror for the fact that he appeared injured. By impulse, she darted over to the poor boy.
"careful Asuka! Watch for the ice!" Shinji shouted in hopes that she wouldn't repeat his fatal mistake.
Asuka stopped abruptly at Shinji's command and began walking slowly towards him. She dropped next to him and gleamed brightly at the boy's face.
"Shinji….I'm so happy that I found you…" Asuka replied ecstatically. She clutched Shinji by the shoulders and pulled him near her; She wrapped her arms tightly around his back and squeezed him like an overstuffed teddy bear.
"I'm so happy…" Asuka repeated.
"Asuka….my back…" Shinji muttered out from the warm embrace.
"hm?….Oh! Sorry…."
Asuka released her clamp on Shinji and laid him gently across her knees. She stroked his hair as warm tears of joy trickled down his face. Shinji rested against her legs as he looked up at her beautiful smile.
"Is it just your back that hurts? Nothing else?"
Shinji nodded, " I was running too fast on the ice, and I slid. I can't move though…"
Asuka remembered the time when Shinji saved her from falling. It was back in Tokyo-2; when he first came back for her. She ran off without a simple goodbye, and nearly plummeted to her own fate. Luckily, Shinji was there to catch her. But that wasn't the case this time. She was too late to help him…and now as a consequence, his back was out of commission.
Asuka became overwhelmed by the guilt of that memory, but casually pushed it aside. She wasn't going to let past experiences ruin her future. Instead, she looked over at the odd yellow puddle next to Shinji. One thing was for sure…it smelled like blood…
"What happened here?" Asuka questioned anxiously.
Shinji was prepared to tell her everything, but he was just too tired too…and her legs were so soft and comfortable; He didn't want to do anything but fall asleep upon her. He simply shook his head and smiled at her.
"It's a long story. I'll tell you all about it later…"
" Later? Does that mean that….you'll forgive me? Will you forgive for being such a bitch to you?" Asuka asked uneasily.
Shinji chuckled, "as long as you forgive me for being so weak and passive…"
Asuka' face beamed with happiness. She felt so relieved that Shinji could forgive her; more ever, she was very pleased with the fact that Shinji realized his own flaws….He must have been thinking a lot about his feelings as well.
Shinji felt the same way; not only did Asuka forgive him for the fact that he was acting spineless, but she was feeling equally guilty for her behavior. And now, it was all water under a bridge, as if there fight didn't mean anything at all.
Hard to believe, that a couple this close nearly killed each other less than 24 hours ago.
Asuka giggled at the thought, "...we're pretty bipolar, aren't we?"
Shinji looked up at her, with the same thoughts in mind, "…heh...yeah. I suppose we got a lot to learn about love still, right?"
Asuka nodded, " Yeah…but I'm willing to learn it all…as long as I still have you."
Shinji smiled and looked up at the sky. Asuka, noticing that Shinji was staring at the zenith, decided to look upward as well.
"It sure is beautiful…" Shinji mused. And beautiful it was; the snow gently drifting down against the lights of the city….it had a mysteriously enchanting effect. He looked at Asuka who was also enjoying the serenity of the winter sky.
"But it is not as beautiful as y-,"
"Shinji, don't say it. That is one of the oldest pick-up lines in the book." Asuka teased.
Shinji chuckled and closed his eyes, "but it sounds a lot better coming from me, right?"
Asuka smiled along with him, "Of course it does. Everything you say sounds great….apart from when you whine, of course."
"Likewise."
Asuka stared at him. Those were one of the few moments when he had a decent retort for her. A part of her told her to argue that statement, but she shrugged off that feeling immediately. She didn't want to ruin this scene…..it was so perfect…..she didn't even notice how cold it was.
Shinji agreed that this was one of the best moments of his life. He never felt this comfortable with anyone; not since his loving mother. He wished that this moment would last forever: the two of them sitting there amongst the serenity of the winter night. But alas, all good things had to come to a close, regardless of how enjoyable it was.
"Asuka……" Shinji whispered, as if he was ready to fall asleep any moment now.
"yes Shinji?," Asuka replied wistfully, as if awaiting for a proposal or something.
"….maybe we should call an ambulance? My back still hurts….."
Asuka gasped and stood up so fast, that she accidentally dropped Shinji to the ground.
"OWWWW!!!!" Shinji cried out.
"Oh my God! I'm so sorry Shinji! I totally forgot about your back! Don't worry, there's a payphone over there, I'll call an ambulance right away!" Asuka words muddled together as she looked for a decent apology and explanation.
She ran off to the other end of the block, where a lone payphone stood; leaving Shinji all alone on the cold concrete ground. He looked at her as she struggled with her change and the phone all at the same time. Clearly, Asuka was not so used to handling a payphone; He could hear her curse the machine with every profanity known to man.
"SCHEISS! You damn phone! how the hell do you work this thing?!" Was among the many stubborn remarks she shouted out.
Shinji just stared at her and muttered something under his breath.
"You know…you can use my cell phone Asuka…"
END OF CHAPTER 14
A/N: well....that took a lot of thought when typing it. So much thought, that I nearly passed out from the confusion (though that really doesn't take that much...lol...). The only problems I have with it are the typical ones: apparent abrupt changes, not much continuity, whatever. But besides those, I really enjoyed this chapter; one of the bestif I say so myself. However, I think its about time to toss in a little action...the romance/angst is getting too much for blood....
Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this chapter; and if find any errors with it (I seem to be doing that a lot...lol), then don't hesitate to tell me. I have no idea when the next chapter will be up, but I this fic is still alive and will be finished.
Please keep on reviewing! See ya in the next chapter!