Disclaimer: Don't own Eva. even after all this time.
First things first: a grand apology for my utterly serious lack of updating. It has been...well...months is all i can count, and once again my excuse for such laziness is non-existant. True, my school work did put alot of pressure on me, but really there is no excuse for my lack of movtation. I was lazy and failed to to take the responsibility of finishing what I have started. And for that, I'am sorry...a thousand times over.
Now then, enough with the pity fest. This next chapter was first started WAYYYY back in January, and hasnt been touched since March. Luckily, not much of the original text has been changed, and the plot has been followed through carefully. The conflict begins to deepen once again, (hopefully in a way that it does not contradict the previous chapters) and we begin to see tracesof the love conflict to come. In other words,I'am nearing the end of this fic with an estimate of 5 or so chapters. (All that will hopefully be completed by the end of the Summer...).
Thats enough pointless banter. Please (finally) enjoy the next chapter! (and try to read with an open mind please...its been a while since I typed this...)
Chapter 15: Bounded by Dependence
Don't you hate yourself?
'Of course not. Why would I hate who I am? That would contradict living...it would be pointless.'
So living isn't pointless? What is it that you have to live for?
'Myself. I live so that I can find my purpose in life. That is why everyone lives; to discover why they are the way they are.'
What happens when you find that purpose?
'Then I live for it. I live for it until the day I die. And I keep on living for it even after death.'
What if there is no life after death? What then?
'What makes you so sure that life doesn't go on after death?'
What makes you so sure that it does?
'Because I have seen it. I have died once before already, and I still lived on. Humans never truly die. As long as they have the will to keep on being themselves.'
But souls can die. Souls can break..what then?
'The soul becomes nothing.'
What if the souls of the entire human race should break? What then?
"Then mankindwould becomenothing. We would never feel pain again."
Nor love. Nor joy, nor ecstasy. Is it really so easy to be nothing? What about your memories?
'memories live on with the soul. Souls are immortal as long as you realize your meaning; your purpose in life.'
What is your meaning?
'Her. I live for another so that her soul does not die.'
Your purpose lies in another?
'Yes. And if she puts her meaning into me, then her soul will not die either. We are immortal..'
And what if she doesn't? What if she doesn't live for you?
'Then she hasn't found that purpose.'
Does that mean that she doesn't love you?
'...She has to love me. I know it.'
No one knows for sure; not even you. What if she doesn't find her own purpose in you? What happens if her soul dies?"
'Then I will never be able to forgive myself...'
But you can't keep on living without a purpose. You said that your purpose was her, and if her soul dies then you are doomed as well; in other words, a chain reaction.
'So my life is doomed from the very beginning?'
As long as you continue to desire her, then you will never receive true solace. Even if you have her, she will never have you. She is not as understanding as you are. She wanders through life without searching for her own purpose. She only desires you so that she isn't alone. Animal magnetism.
'……….'
You can still find your purpose...it isn't in the girl...so it must be somewhere else...'no.'
what?
'I told you, I found my purpose. It is her, and will always be her. Whenever I am with that girl, I am at peace. I don't feel pain, sorrow, regret, or anything painful when I look into her eyes. I have never felt that way about anyone ever. She has to be the answer I'm looking for, and I will continue to look out for her for all eternity.
Pitiful...your soul is doomed. You will never realize the error of your companionship. Your soul will break, as well as hers...
'...who are you?'
You will become nothing. You won't even become the very vacuum of time and space.
'Shut up and answer me! Who are you! What do you want with me and Asuka!'
your memories will die.
'Quiet...leave us alone...'
your hearts will die...
'I said leave me alone!'
and therefore, your love will die...
'SHUT UP!'
'...you will become nothing Shinji...nothing...'
Shinji opened his eyes.
He was no longer in that void that haunted him only a few minutes ago; instead, he was in some sort of bed, complete with white sheets, pillow, and all. There was a bed next to him exactly the same way, though there was currently no occupant in it. The sheets were neatly made, the pillows fluffed, and the comforter folded. Shinji Ikari could figure out one possible solution: he was not home.
He wiped off some of the sweat that covered his forehead and exhaled slowly. That dream definitely wasn't normal; it was as if someone had peeked into his mind and poked at his brain multiple times. More so, he remembered the dream word for word; unusual for a boy like Shinji, who would often forget his dreams almost instantly. It was, without a doubt, the oddest subconscious nightmare he ever experienced.
'the voice is gone now...I don't think I ever felt that scared before in my life...'
Shinji plopped back against the bad and stared at the ceiling. It took him a few moments to realize that his back was now fully functional; he could move it with the slightest ease, just like before. Based on this fact, Shinji deduced that he was brought to a hospital shortly after the backbone incident, and he had been there ever since.
"The hospital? But how did I-?"
Shinji felt a slight shuffling; someone else was the on the bed with him. He turned his head away from the ceiling to see the one who caused the disturbance.
It was Asuka; sitting in a chair next to the bed, with her arms clutched to Shinji's blanket. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was soft and repetitive.
'sound asleep, as usual.'
Shinji reached over to wake her up, but changed his mind the last second. She deserved to sleep after all the anguish he put her through; it was the very least he could do for her. Instead of waking her up, he admired her sleeping figure while moving a piece of her soft red hair out of her face.
'She looks so peaceful...almost like a goddess...or an angel, in a manner of speaking..."
Shinji smiled. He truly did want the best for Asuka, regardless of his own well-being. He didn't want to see her hurt anymore, a desire that was fueled ever since the Third Impact and beyond. She had been through a lot by herself, and she deserved to have some comfort. Something he could provide, since he was the only one that could truly understand how she felt.
He stared at her and felt a small sensation of pride by this fact. Shinji was the only one that could make her happy now, no one else is capable (or even willing) to take on such a task. It was his duty to be with her and never leave her side; his only true purpose in life.
"purpose...but souls can die...if they have no purpose. What if Asuka's soul died?"
Shinji was perfectly confident with his belief that Asuka was his reason for living. Happiness was the key to life, and he never felt happier than being amongst her. But he often wondered what Asuka thought about all of this. Was she really in love with him?
It is apparent that Asuka enjoys being close to Shinji (at the very least), but did she see him as her one and only true love? If she didn't, then the voice may be right...and that bothered Shinji the most.
'Asuka...don't ever leave me. I-I don't want you to be nothing.'
the very same redheaded girl slowly opened her eyes slowly as a white hospital room came into sight. She rubbed her eyes and groaned slightly; it was too bright outside, so her eyes squinted a little from adjusting. She stretched a little and looked around the room slowly.
The room was too empty for her comfort. Apart from the young man sitting up next to her (smiling brightly at her too), there was only an empty bed, a chair, some sheets...
"SHINJI!"
Asuka's train of thought came back online, as she finally realized that Shinji was wide awake now. She jumped out of her seat and squeezed Shinji in an embrace that nearly made him pass out. She continued hugging him, not realizing that his oxygen level was dropping severely...
'at least she is glad to see me...but...I...can't breathe...'
Asuka's smile dropped suddenly as she realized that Shinji was not responding correctly to her display of affection. She felt Shinji patting her on the back frantically, yet she remained oblivious. Finally, she pulled back her head away from his neck and looked at his face...his deep purple face...
"SCHEISS! SORRY SHINJI!" Asuka cried and immediately let go his neck. Shinji inhaled all the oxygen at once and began inhaling and exhaling deeply.
Asuka continued rambling like a flake.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry..."
"It's...ok...Asuka..."
Shinji's intake of air slowed a bit as his body became refueled by a vast amount of oxygen.
"actually, I was glad you did that...heh...you must have been really worried..."
Asuka looked at Shinji as though he were insane, "of course I was worried baka! Do you know how long it took to get an ambulance over to you? It had to be at least an hour (damn payphones...), and who knows how seriousyour injury could have become."
Shinji had a hunch why it took so long for her to get an ambulance, "you know...you could have used my cell phone."
"..."
"Asuka? Um...are you alright?"
"..."
"Asuk-"
"Quiet. I'm trying to decide how to kill you."
"Eeep!"
Shinji's expression filled with fear, though (to Asuka's surprise) he didn't cower. Instead he gave her a smile, "make it as painless as possible then. I don't want to die as a writhing, spineless baka."
Asuka smiled back at him, glad to see that Shinji was getting a better sense of humor. It would be unhealthy for a boy his age to be serious all the time. "Well, you don't have to worry then; because you are being killed by the most beautiful woman in all of Japan. You have something to be proud of in the afterlife."
With that said, Asuka once again pulled him into a hug, though one that was less intense than earlier. Shinji eagerly accepted in an attempt to satisfy the angered woman; the last thing they needed was another harsh argument like the one for the earlier evening.
"I'm sorry I didn't give you my phone. I must have been um...delirious..."
'killed by the most beautiful woman in Japan...I really don't know whether to be pleased or terrified...ughh...' Shinji muttered in his thoughts.
"Hey, speaking of the phone, you haven't talked to Wondergirl in a while. Maybe you should talk to her. She mayknow something that could help us."
Shinji shrugged a little and withdrew from the embrace, "alright, though I'm sure that there won't be much to talk about."
Shinji found his shirt, reached into the side pocket and took out his cell phone.
'...yep...nothing to talk about...except for that strange bum that turned into a puddle last night.' Shinji's thoughts stated sarcastically.
He quickly turned it on, only to be surprised by a little pop-up that appeared on the display screen.
One new message.
'Odd...only Rei has this number...and she can reach meat any time anyway...'
Shinji didn't think much of it; after all, he was unconscious for a good twelve hours. She could have tried to contact him during in any point of that time. Shinji opened the message, half-hoping that Rei's message had some good news. The last thing he wanted was to find out that he only had four days to save the city, or some typical NERV bullshit like that.
His eyes widened.
'this...can't be..Rei...'
...you will both become nothing...end it now...
Shinji's smile fell as the traces of that ominous voice echoed in his mind. It wasn't the voice itself; it was only a memory of the conversation from last night. At this point in time, Shinji was getting sick and tired of hearing this voice in his head over and over again. He tried as hard as he could to ignore the words this..monster...gave him, but they had a strange effect to them; as if they were the phrases of a prophecy...
Shinji gritted his teeth, as he loathed the voice with extreme passion. He had a feeling that this wouldn't be the last time he heard it either. It was bound to come back, and try to talk to Shinji again. It would say more hurtful things to him, and they may ruin his bond with the girl he loved.
And it would keep on coming back. Again and again and again...
"bastard...why won't it leave us alone?" Shinji whispered under his breath. He clutched the phone so hard that his grip may very well break it.
"Shinji, what are you talking about?"Asuka asked worriedly. The expression on his face was that of a helpless child: distressed and angered all at the same time.
Shinji was quick to think of a response, but decided to reframe from asking Asuka this particular question. On several occasions, he had already asked if she did truly love him, and on every answer, she responded to him 'yes'; and not always in words either. Overdoing this question may irritate Asuka, and she may believe that he still has uncertainty in their relationship. That would cause some serious problems on the road ahead.
"It's nothing serious. Just feeling a little dizzy still, that's all.. ('oh, and there's a little voice inside my head, ordering me to stop loving you,' Shinji responded in his thoughts.)"
Asuka grinned a little with relief and her eyes softened. Shinji thought that it would be best if he asked her something else, though she might question his motives.
"Asuka, what is your purpose?" Shinji asked bluntly.
Asuka stared at him funny. The look on his face told her that he was completely serious with his question. He really wanted to know her meaning in life...at all costs necessary. This apparently has something to do with Shinji's odd behavior ever since he woke up.
Therefore, she decided to humor him and think up a quick answer.
"I'm not too sure Shinji. I suppose everyone's purpose in life is to find his or her purpose. I guess that's my purpose as well." She replied gently.
Shinji wasn't convinced with such a vague answer.
"And what if you don't find that purpose?" He replied.
Asuka was surprised by Shinji's determination. It was as if her very life hanged in the balance of such a question.
"Everyone has to find their purpose Shinji. Or else-"
"Or else they have no purpose." He finished for her.
Asuka couldn't respond. Shinji was starting to get stranger and stranger; and it frightened her a little.
" Things that have no purpose shouldn't exist; ifsomeone doesn't find their purpose before they die, thenthe soul breaks. And then that soul becomes nothing...nothing..."
Shinji eyes widened at the very words. He seemed to be at the verge of breaking down completely; tears were swelling in his eyes, his body shook with fury, and an unforeseen tension filled the whole room.
Asuka was more than concerned, to say the least. She could feel the pain practically steaming off his skin, as if something terrible happened the previous evening. Worst of all, Asuka didn't know how to comfort him. She had never been asked such questions before.
Her mind sped with different solutions to his turmoil, but her body remained steady and seemingly unwilling to ease Shinji.
'Shinji...what can I do?'
Her eyes began to form tears at the sight ofhis tormented body. She reached out a hand and brushed it gently across his.
Shinji felt a slight sensation in his left appendage, and immediately glanced down at the source. Asuka took her hand and wrapped every individual finger in bond with Shinji's own. Slowly, Shinji's tears began to evaporate and his shaking ceased. He looked at Asuka and noticed that she was also crying.
Crying and now...smiling.
'Asuka...why are you crying too?' was the only thing Shinji could think of. The most obvious answer hit him first: she was worried about him. She was afraid that something was wrong with him, and there was nothing she could possibly do to stop it.
Shinji felt guilty for worrying Asuka that way. More ever, he should also show Asuka that he was strong enough to protect the both of them. Crying like that showed weakness, and he knew well enough that Asuka hates weakness.
Shinji ceased his whining and bowed his head. He was too ashamed to look her inthe face; afterall, hewas acting spineless again...
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to worry you..."
Asuka gripped his hand even tighter, since it seemed that it was getting through to him. She was glad to see that Shinji wasn't hurting anymore...he really did worry her...
"It's alright Shinji. Don't worry...you'll see...things will turn out all right..." Asuka added with another one of her bright smiles.
Shinji felt another glimmer of hope, and his heart warmed up instantly. But he still felt bad for being weak especially in front of this girl, who loathed the emotion.
"I'm also sorry for acting this way...spineless I mean. I guess I still have some personal problems to resolve." Shinji ended with a chuckle.
"What are talking about Shinji? Spineless? No...I don't think so." Asuka stated in rebuttal.
Shinji looked up at her in surprise, "what?"
"Shinji, something was really bothering you; so much, that I can even feel your pain. Everyone faces these challenges sooner or late..it's a part of living. Not to mention a part of living that you are not so used to having. And you cry, because you don't know how to deal with it."
Shinji was mildly shocked by Asuka's strong logic. She was right, and more so, she didn't even snap at him for crying like that; a taboo that the old Asuka would jump at, given the opportunity.
'she really is different.'
Shinji smiled at the thought, though he really should stop worrying about such things anymore. They had come along way since then and there was no need to be set back by doubting each other once again.
Asuka caught glimpse of his smile, but continued with her lecture.
"Remember Shinji, you are only spineless if you take the easy way out of your problems."
Shinji lowered his head. He knew exactly what Asuka was talking about. "Your mean running away. I always run away..."
Asuka felt another classic 'Shinji sulk' coming along.
"But you don't have to keep on running Shinji. You can find other ways out; you always have other ways out of your problems."
Shinji nodded in agreement and sighed. This was not going to be an easy conflict to get out of, if he could ever get out.
"I know that...or at least, I think I know that. But what if there isn't a way out, Asuka? What if the worst DOES happen?"
Asuka was momentarily speechless. There was no easy answer to give him, because he was telling the truth. Sometimes, the worst does happen in life; and the results are dire.
"...what is the worst that can happen Shinji?"
Shinji's mind spiraled with images of the nightmarish future he may be facing. An existence without Asuka; and existence without purpose; and the thought of Asuka being nothing...
All was too much to handle.
Asuka heard sharp sobs coming from the bowing figure of the boy. Tears began falling onto the bed sheets and became absorbed within the white fabric. Soon his sobbing became more erratic and frequent.
Asuka feared that he was on the verge of another mental breakdown.
"Shinji..."
The redheaded woman slowly rose up from her seat and go on top of the bed. She sat on her knees opposite of Shinji and studied him carefully.
Then he tried to speak.
"Asuk-ka...sob...I...I..."
"What is it Shinji?" She responded quietly and compassionately.
"...I don't...sob...I...sob sob..."
"Shinji please...calm down..."
Shinji immediately obeyed and ceased his tears. His sobbing softened as he rose his head up and stared at Asuka directly in the eyes.
He whispered to her softly.
"I don't want your soul to die. I don't want you to become nothing."
Asuka didn't say a word.
'...become nothing? That's impossible...I will always be here for him...always...'
But she could tell but the sadness in his eyes that he was completely serious. He really did fear that someone (or something) would take her away from him forever. And he felt that there was nothing he could do about it.
'…is this your problem Shinji? Are you afraid that I will leave you?'
That had to be it. Probably more complex than she could imagine, but she knew that he was generally worried for her well-being. He didn't want her to die, especially when he couldn't do absolutely nothing about it.
'...poor baka...'
Asuka leaned over towards Shinji and slowly caressed his face. Shinji could feel her radiant warmth and his heart began to race faster.
"Shinji, listen to me. I won't be leaving you...ever; no matter what, I will always be here to help you get through anything. I promise you that I will never leave..ever."
Shinji (and his heart as well) smiled. A promise like that was all he needed to hear for her; now maybe..just maybe...their souls would be spared. Shinji unwrapped his arms and stared at Asuka with a mix of shame and self-pity.
"I couldn't stop myself from crying again, could I?...Sorry..."
Asuka smiled and leaned in towards Shinji's face.
Shinji knew what was coming next, causing him to lean towards Asuka's face as well. Her lips were calling out to him again. and he eagerly accepted the invitation.
Animal magnetism...she only desires you so she won't be alone...
The voice ran deep through Shinji's mind, but this time he was able the ignore it completely. Something gave him the will the move forward to Asuka, and nothing could possibly stop him.
'Animal magnetism...yeah right. If she doesn't want to be alone, then so be it.'
Asuka could feel the desire emerging from Shinji. She couldn't help but accept the desire, causing her body to experience the sensation of that emotion as well.
The attraction grew stronger as the two of them came closer together, and soon there wouldn't be Shinji and Asuka; but the two of them connected by their passion for the other's kiss. Asuka slowly closed her eyes as she felt his breath brush against her lips. She wanted his touch...she wanted it more than anything else in the world..
'come what may, I will always have my Shin-chan..."
"Shinji..."
"yes, Asuka?"
"ahem."
"……"
"……"
The two of them stopped, barely a millimeter away from each other.
"I...hope that I am not interrupting anything serious."
Misato Katsuragi stood in the doorway, her eyes wide by the hot scene that was about to unfold.
"MI-MISATO!" Shinji cried out, completely frightened.
"………" Asuka was too angry and embarrassed for words.
"wow, I'm glad I stopped by. Or else I may have became a godmother sooner than expected," Misato teased.
"...yeah...perfect timing Katsuragi..." Asuka's face twitched with rage.
"ha ha...sorry Asuka. I didn't mean to embarrass you..."
Asuka grinned, "Who's the embarrassed one here? Your face is red too guardian!"
Misato didn't even notice her blush, which provoked her face to redden even more upon realization. She must have felt embarrassed to find both her adopted children passionately involved with each other.
" What's the matter Misato? Jealous that Shinji would much rather kiss me than you?" Asuka joked.
"………." Misato was too angry and embarrassed for words.
"come on everyone, let's stop fighting..." Shinji asked meekly.
Unfortunately, Misato ignored him completely, "Me? Jealous? Ha...no..not really. Just surprised to see the two of you like this, that's all. Besides, I already know how good of a kisser he is." Misato added seductively.
"WHATTT!"
"……………………." Shinji passed out immediately. Probably for the best too, or elsehe wouldhave to withstand Asuka's wrath.
"WHY YOU PERVERTED OLD HAG! DO YOU ALWAYS SEDUCE YOUNGER BOYS ON A REGULAR BASIS! ARE YOU REALLY THAT DESPERATE!" Asuka screamed out.
Misato became enraged by her outrageous claims, but unlike that redheaded girl, she had no trouble extinguishing it quickly.
"Hey, you're the one that brought it up Asuka, not me. I'm just telling you the truth."
Asuka couldn't believe what she was hearing. Shinji...HER Shinji...actually made out with Misato, their guardian. What kind of demon could have possibly driven the two of them to such an act! Her mind drew blank...she couldn't even think of what insult to toss out next.
"Hey Asuka...you still here?" Misato teased waving a hand in front of the other girls face. Asuka didn't respond and stared off into space. Then suddenly, she jerked her head towards Shinji, hoping to find out that this was all just one huge (and sickeningly twisted) joke.
"Shinji! This isn't true, is it? Did you really kiss Mi-SHINJI, MEIN GOTT!"
Shinji, at first glance, appeared to be sound asleep. But upon further inspection, a trail of drool seemed to be leaking from his mouth.
'wait, he always drools...but still...he fainted!' Asuka thought frantically through her mind. She acted on impulse and began shaking Shinji violently.
"Come on Shinji! Wake up! I need to ask you something!" Shinji's body flailed through the air like a antique rag doll. Misato, surprised by Asuka's actions, immediately leaped onto the side of the bed and struggled to stop the frantic girl.
"Stop it Asuka! Do you know what the hell you are doing!" Asuka was pretty strong; Misato was having a hard time keeping a grip on her.
"I don't care! I want answers, and I want them now!"
"Shaking up Shinji like he's some sort of rattle isn't going to give you the answers you want! Besides, I told you the truth of what happened!"
Asuka released Shinji, who collapsed back onto the bed with no sign of consciousness whatsoever.
"OH YEAH! LIKE I WOULD BELIEVE ANYTHING YOU TELL ME, GUARDIAN! THERE IS NO WAY THAT SHINJI WOULD AGREE TO YOUR PERVERTED DESIRES, EVER!"
'oh, that's the last straw.' Misato thought, "IT'S THE TRUTH ASUKA! NOW EITHER YOU ACCEPT IT AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, OR YOU CONTINUE TO DENY IT AND WHINE LIKE THE LITTLE BRAT YOU ARE NOW!"
"I WOULDN'T HAVE TO ACCEPT IT IF SOMEONE WATCHED THEIR INTAKE OF BEER! YOU MUST HAVE HAD TO GET REALLY DRUNK TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT TO HIM!"
"do what to who?"
The room became silent all the sudden, and both Asuka and Misato turned there heads to the direction of the voice. It was Shinji, wide-awake, sitting up, and grinning innocently at the two women.
"Sorry...I kind of forgot what we were talking about a second ago. What's going on?" He added while rubbing the back of his neck.
Before he could react, Asuka darted in front of the poor boys face and looked at him sternly.
"Shinji, did you really kiss Misato!" She blurted without hesitation.
Shinji was taken aback, as expected, and blushed at the idea of kissing Misato. He could do one of two things at the this point in time: he could tell Asuka the truth and expect a slaughter to come, or he could lie (which would undoubtedly make things worse), andconsequently end this fight in peace.
Shinji, being Shinji, chickened out at the last minute and spouted out the first thing that came to mind.
"No Asuka, I didn't kiss Misato. That would be just...wrong."
Misato slapped her forehead in the background as Asuka looked into his eyes for any truth in those words. Shinji gulped silently, half-expecting to be dead within the next 4 seconds. But instead, quite the opposite happened.
Instead, she leaped forward and pulled Shinji into yet another tight hug.
"sigh...thank God Shinji. I was worried there for a few moments."
Shinji was relieved that Asuka believed him, and gladly pulled her into the same embrace. Misato shook her head silently in the background; her face told him something like, 'kid...you have no idea what hell you are in for."
Shinji caught glance of this face, and replied with his thoughts, as if doing it by telepathy, '...but...it would make Asuka happier if she didn't know what happened. And I want her to be happy...so...isn't this the right thing?'
Asuka removed Shinji from her grasp.
"Hah! I knew you were lying the whole time Misato! It's not nice to play with a girl's emotions you know…" Asuka added smugly.
Shinji feared that Misato would stick with the truth about the kiss, which would undoubtedly lead to another argument. But strangely enough...
"yeah, Asuka...your right, it's not nice to play with a girl's emotions."
Shinji reluctantly looked over at Misato, only to find that she was staring right back at him. She still had one of those angry scowls on her face.
Shinji gave her a guilty smile, and laughed weakly.
'Sorry Misato...I can't tellher...not right now...'
"So Misato, when can Shinji leave the hospital?" Asuka asked eagerly.
Misato took a breath to soften her frustration. "He can leave this afternoon. The injury he received wasn't serious, so you lucked out once again Shinji."
Shinji merely nodded. He didn't have the courage to speak to Misato at the moment.
Misato frowned a little and turned towards the door.
"I'll have a ride come and pick up the two of you after Shinji checks out. You'll come to NERV headquarters for a briefing on our current situation." Her voice sounded very professional; more professional that usual.
She left the room without saying another word, leaving Asuka and Shinji alone once again. Asuka could sense that something bugged Misato, though she couldn't figure what.
"What's her problem?" She added irritably.
Shinji knew. But he would never tell Asuka. Far too much would be at risk if he told the truth about him and Misato.
He never did realize his error.
"Damn it...where is she?"
Tyrone Remington stalked the halls of NERV headquarters in search of his commanding officer, Misato Katsuragi. Ever since the incident involving his subordinate, Misato was left with the responsibility of handling the retaliation against their enemy. And that left Tyrone in a rather difficult position as HER subordinate. His orders were to never leave the premises and to assist the commander in every way possible.
Of course, that should require that Misato should never leave the headquarters either; or at least inform her colleagues of her absence.
Tyrone opened the door to the nurse's quarters.
"Pardon me, but have you seen Katsuragi anywhere?" He asked, though with a hint of annoyance.
The nurse turned her head from her work and eyed the man curiously.
"You mean the commander's not back yet?" She replied.
"Back from what?"
"Calm down Captain...she went to the local hospital to check the condition of our pilot." She sternly added.
"Our ONLY pilot, too. Damn it...what would be the harm of transporting him here for recovery?" He stressed.
"Because we are more concerned with the well being of the pilot than with our current status. Transporting him here would have taken more time; Pilot Ikari's condition could have worsen for all we know."
Though her logic was undaunted, Tyrone still had his doubts.
"Hmph. I understand. Still, why couldn't we have secured the room in the local hospital? That way we would know that the pilot is secure..." He said in a more cool tone.
"Because he doesn't fully trust this organization yet."
The voice was female, but did not belong to the nurse. Tyrone turned around and came face to face with Commander Katsuragi herself.
"C-C-Commander..."
"If we established a secure perimeter around his room, then he would feel that we treat him like some kind of lab animal. So instead, we let him have the freedom he so rightfully deserves." Misato explained.
"Like a lab animal? Pardon me for saying so Commander, but that's just absurd. We are merely looking out for his well being."
"...hmm...because he happens to be a pilot. The most important asset to this organization."
"That's correct Commander. If the boy were to be killed under any circumstance, imagine what would happen to the fate of this branch."
Misato laughed.
"I fail to see what is so funny Commander. I assure you that this is a very serious situation."
"Captain...now you're the one being absurd."
"...Pardon me Commander?'
"Tyrone...think about what you said. You are saying that if he dies, we lose are jobs. You make it sound like he is a tool: serving only one purpose, hardly useful for anything else."
"W-What! Commander, I would never-"
"Captain, Listen to me. Shinji is not some tool to be used by NERV. It is his choice to pilot the Evangelion, Not yours or mine."
"But what about the fate of this country! What about the fate of this world! We can't stop this menace unless that boy controls that unit!"
"Like I said, it is his choice, and his choice alone. If he doesn't want to pilot, then we'll just have to find another way out of this mess. I would rather have him choose than to force him into that...thing."
Tyrone was at a loss for words.
"...Commander...I..."
"I don't expect you to understand Tyrone. I have known that boy for a long long time. No matter what his decision is, I will always see him as that courageous boy I know. His choices don't matter to me, as long as he is happy."
Misato was slightly surprised at herself. A commander should really never expose their emotions to their colleagues. Though it was true that she will always care for the welfare of Shinji, she was still pretty steamed at his behavior this morning.
'Damn it Shinji...you owe me one for sticking up for you again...'
Tyrone was equally surprised. This was the second time where she had gotten soft over that boy; the first being the time when he assessed the damage in Tokyo-2.
'That's right. She spoke of him as being family...family...'
"What is 'family'?" He whispered.
"...Captain? Is something the matter?" Misato asked curiously.
"hm? Ah...no, Commander Katsuragi. Just thinking out loud again.'
Misato chuckled.
"Of course, there is another reason I gave Shinji his privacy."
"There is?" He sounded pretty surprised.
" He has Asuka now. He doesn't need us to protect him anymore.." She replied.
The nurse laughed, "That makes perfect sense. We could barely handle her when she was still a pilot."
Misato smiled. Tyrone looked at the nurse with intrigue.
"Can we really trust his life in her hands?" He had no idea on how serious he was acting.
Misato raised one eyebrow. She looked over at the nurse and back over at Tyrone again.
"I'm sure that she can handle it."
"SHINJI! UNLOCK THIS DOOR NOW OR I'LL SWEAR TO GOD I'LL…"
Asuka banged her fists against the bathroom door. Apparently, Shinji took this moment to lock himself in, and refused to come out. Conveniently enough, NERV would be coming by in five minutes to retrieve both him and Asuka. So it seemed logical of Shinji to play the hiding game, since NERV has been his sworn enemy many times before.
"I'm not coming out."
"Shinji...we've been through this a dozen times...if you don't want to work for NERV anymore, then you don't have too. I'm sure Misato feels the same way."
"Oh, that's not the problem. I am willing to pilot Unit 01."
Shinji could hear the sound of surprise from the other side of the door.
"What! You actually want to!"
"Of course. I have nothing to fear from it anymore, so it's not so difficult to control. I can handle it." He stated.
"Oh. I see. So then...why did you lock yourself in the bathroom?" Asked a dumbstruck Asuka.
"I wanted to clean up before we leave...if that's okay..." He answered timidly.
Asuka felt embarrassed for overreacting and decided to leave the boy to his business.
" grr...alright, you can change...but meet me at the waiting room in ten minutes or else!...grumble...grumble...Baka...grumble.."
Asuka walked out of the room, leaving Shinji alone to go about his business. Shinji could sense her frustration, and decided that it would be best if he made haste. He unlocked the bathroom door and grabbed his clothes; they were still a little wet from the rain, but wearable in the meantime.
'need to go back to the apartment sooner or later...I really need to change these clothes...'
Shinji put on his clothes faster than expected, seeing as his shirt was on backwards. He quickly adjusted himself, grabbed his coat, and began searching the pockets.
"I could've swore that I was forgetting something."
He looked on his nightstand and found that something: the cell phone. That phone was his only means of contacting Rei, who is now part of all humanity. She was the only one who was ever capable of contacting Shinji through it...until now that is.
'that message...'
Shinji still couldn't believe the fact that the contact was not Rei, but someone else who was somehow capable of accessing Shinji's phone. Moreover, it seemed to be the...thing...that haunted Shinji's dreams.
"It couldn't have been NERV. No one knows the number to this phone except her. Rei...did you really leave that message?"
Shinji had a hard believing that too, but it was a genuine possibility; seeing as he could not distinguish the gender of the voice.
'no...it can't be her...why would she want to do such a thing?'
He considered the possibility that maybe Rei was planning some sort of destruction-of-the-whole-planet operation, but that seemed more like the ramblings of a paranoid boy. Therefore, he dismissed the idea almost completely.
Shinji shook his head of all thoughts; he was getting carried away with these ridiculous ideas. The message could've come from some weirdo who found his found, tapped the number, and left him a strange message.
'Too strange...and too coincidental...no...stop it Shinji...it's just some prankster, that's all.'
Shinji's mind was made up, and just in time too. Asuka would be furious at how late he was getting...
"Oh man...she's gonna kill me..."
Shinji put the phone in his jeans pocket and darted out of the room with his coat tucked underneath his arm. He took the elevator down to the first floor and walked into the Waiting Room; where he was greeted by the ever-familiar scowl on Asuka's face.
"About time Shinji! What happened? Did you forget to undress before showering?" She teased; perhaps a little too loudly.
Shinji chuckled a little while Asuka pinched a piece of his wet shirt. She rolled it between her fingers and muttered.
"sigh...should've washed them earlier...oh well..."
"Um...Asuka...we should probably get going, our ride is here."
Eyes began to turn towards Shinji and Asuka, making the poor boy feel really awkward. She was acting as if she was his own mother.
"Asuka...um...Asuka..." Shinji whispered meekly.
Asuka released his shirt and looked over her shoulder. A small crowd was staring at them awkwardly, turning their eyes inconspicuously every now and then.
Asuka was the type to get peeved off by people such as these.
"honestly...they act as if they never seen dirty clothes before..." Asuka grumbled as a light blush grew across her face. She promptly grabbed Shinji's arm and walked out of the waiting room with her head held high. Once they were out of the building, she loosened her grip on his arm and growling irritably.
"grr...seriously...why did they have to make it so damn awkward! I mean we were just checking out of a hospital for crying out loud! What is there to stare at! Schiess..."
Asuka griped a little more, until she realized that Shinji was acting quiet again. She looked at the boy to find that he had one of his worried smiles.
"Hey Shinji...is your back alright? The nurse asked if you needed a wheelchair, but I told her that you were doing fine..." She offered.
Shinji shook his head," No, my back is just fine Asuka. But, I think I know why they were staring at us..."
"Of course! It was because they couldn't handle the fact that some people are left wearing dirty laundry!" She griped once again.
"No Asuka...I really don't think that was it..." He replied.
"Oh. Really...then...what do you think it was?" She asked curiously.
Once again, Shinji just shook his head.
"Never mind. I'm probably just...worrying about nothing again." He chuckled faintly.
Asuka huffed. "well, if your not sure, then why did you even bring it up in the first place baka!"
"Our rides here now. We should go." Shinji pointed towards the black sedan parked in front of the hospital. A man wearing a NERV uniform was outside, opening the passenger door for them.
Shinji began walking swiftly towards the car, leaving Asuka to stumble behind.
"Hey! You didn't answer me you idiot! Hey, get back here!"
Asuka surrendered and ran up towards Shinji, grabbing onto his arm in the process. Together, the two of them walked hand in hand towards their unknown agenda at NERV headquarters.
"He's close, that's all we really know."
Misato tossed a file across the table, where Shinji and Asuka sat. Shinji grabbed the file and scanned the contents.
"So...what does...all this mean?" He asked meekly. Remington stepped forward and activated the light table; a map of Tokyo-3 appeared on the screen.
Remington cleared his throat, "Last night after you were taken away for medical care, we searched the area for any trace of the attacker. We found none...except for a fairly large LCL puddle that seemed to form next to where you were found."
Shinji choked a little. He remembered that the strange derelict turned into a puddle before Shinji's eyes; it was so strange, that is seemed like a dream.
'So it was real after all...' He pondered.
Tyrone lectured onward, "Through data analysis, we determined that the puddle was indeed the same man that fit the description of various witnesses. Hours after the attack, another LCL pool was discovered seven blocks away. Luckily, no one appeared to be injured, leaving us to suspect that the enemy found another host to infect moments later. Sure enough, another pool was found several blocks after that."
Tyrone pointed out all the locations where the pools were found. According to the records, over 10 pools of LCL were discovered.
"And all of these pools lead to this spot." He pointed at a street that Shinji was relatively unfamiliar with. However...
"The last pool was discovered directly 100 feet above the NERV entrance." Misato interrupted, "That leads us to suspect the obvious: our enemy is planning on, or already has, infiltrated NERV headquarters."
"WHAT?" Asuka let out with a shout. She yanked the file away from Shinji and began to read the contents herself. "And why is it that we are so calm about this?"
"Because we have Shinji." Tyrone replied. All eyes turned towards the boy. "As long as Shinji stays in the vicinity, we should have no problem apprehending the target."
Shinji blinked a few times. "Really? How do we plan on doing that?"
Misato spoke next. "Simply because the angel appears to be after you, Shinji. Anyone who attempts to get close to you is considered a suspect; including Asuka, Remington, and myself."
"Are you actually considering the fact that I could be your enemy?" Asuka blurted.
"Yes Asuka. No matter how much you hate it, there is still the possibility that you are our enemy. We have to take this problem seriously. If we don't, then we would be risking the future of mankind once again." Misato added with a hint of dread.
"But...I would never kill..." Asuka whispered.
"Ms. Sohryu; please remember that ten lives were already destroyed because of our negligence. If we had detected the enemy's flight pattern sooner, then such an incident could have been avoided. Therefore, we must take extra precautions." Tyrone spoke with regret.
"Of course, our lack of proper technology is to blame also. If our equipment wasn't dismantled, then this problem wouldn't have become so urgent." Misato added.
"So it appears that our enemy decided to attack us when we were weakest. Common war strategy at it's most primitive." Tyrone concluded.
"Right. So can we please stop wallowing in our sorrows and continue with briefing already?" Asuka gave the two officers a sarcastic glare.
Remington cleared his throat. "I'm sorry...let us continue. Our plan is to completely monitor Shinji's actions at all times. That means that two or more people have to be with you at any given point in time, or we must have camera surveillance when available."
"I can't be alone...ever?" Shinji groaned. This was a serious violation of one's personal privacy. Backing out now seemed like a good idea."
"Don't worry...it's only temporary. Once certain equipment enabled, then we can target the enemy and prepare proper countermeasures."
"What equipment do you need?"
"That which can detect the blue pattern in angels. After all, it is an angel we are dealing with here; therefore, any human with that pattern is considered our enemy. Simple as that." Tyrone stated. "But until that equipment is installed, we have make sure that you are in the presence of two or more people; we choose two in the event that one of these individuals happen to be our enemy."
"To further the precautions, we decided to hold a daily blood test to detectany patterns among our staff. But if all goes according to schedule, we should have the system ready to go by tomorrow evening." Misato explained. She looked at Shinji and Asuka, who both appeared to be slightly perplexed by this whole briefing.
"Any questions, either of you?" She asked.
"No...I don't' believe so..." Shinji responded. Asuka didn't say a word and merely nodded.
"...Remember something you two...the key of success to this operation is trust...if you believe that one of our officers is acting strangely, then take extra precaution. But don't jump to eliminating the enemy...understand? Alright, you two are dismissed." Misato finished by turning on the lights. Shinji and Asuka sat still; both with a look of apprehension on their face.
Tyrone saw this and tried to lighten the mood. "heh...don't worry you two. You two know each other more than anybody else. You should have no problem with trust."
Shinji felt a little better after hearing that, but Asuka seemed to be more uneasy than usual. Tyrone tried to cheer her up again, but was interrupted by his beeper. He glanced at the device and then looked over at Misato.
"That was Ms. Kusajira. She must need assistance down at the nurse's office. I'm sorry you two, but I fear that I must go now. Be wary of your surroundings and your fellow officials." Tyrone walked out of the door, followed by an armed NERV official.
"Alright. Be careful Captain." Misato waved her hand in farewell.
"...Misato?" Asuka asked quietly.
"hmm? Yes Asuka?"
"Does...Shinji really have to go through with this operation?" She replied hesitantly.
Misato should have expected this sort of thing, but was never really prepared for it. This mission wasn't exactly the most fail-proof, meaning that Shinji could die...or worse. It made sense that Asuka worried about Shinji, but moreover, she suspected that Asuka was worried about her own life too. If Misato were in that same position, she would question the success of such an operation as well.
What made matters worse...Misato didn't have any real helpful advice. If Shinji didn't go through with the plan, then the entire planet would be in jeopardy. But if he did comply...
"Asuka...that choice is up to Shinji." Was all that Misato could say.
Asuka gasped a little and looked over at Shinji, who felt nervous to have so many eyes on him once again.
"Well...I...that is..." Shinji stuttered.
"Shinji, please tell me. Do you really want to do this or not?" She asked firmly.
Shinji swallowed hard. "yeah...I guess I want to do it. I mean, if I don't do it Asuka , then we would die eventually anyway. So it would be better to at least try..."
Asuka blinked a few times, "oh...I see..."
Shinji smiled and put a hand on her shoulder, "Hey, don't worry. We just have to be careful for a little while, that's all. As soon as Misato has the system back up, I'm sure that we'll have the advantage in no time. Right Misato?"
Misato nodded confidently, "Yep. Knowingyour enemy's location at all times is a prime advantage to any form of warfare. Asuka, you really have nothing to worry about. Just keep your guard up for a while."
Asuka didn't even smile, "Alright...I guess there is nothing to worry about."
'but if that's true, then why does it still feel like Hell is going to break loose?' She pondered.
"Well that's settled. Now lets get out of here and get you two home. I'm sure either of you don't want to be in this facility a moment longer." Misato lead the two of them out the door and down the hall. At the end of the hall was the large steel door that led to the surface lifts. Misato placed her hand on the touch screen, causing the doors to open slowly.
Shinji looked back down the dark hallway behind them.
'There's...something here after all. I can feel it now. It's close...very close...' He whispered in his mind.
"Shinji, will you hurry up! I don't want to stand here forever..." Asuka barked as shivers went down her spine. Her and Misato have already boarded the lift. Shinji snapped back to reality and ran towards them.
"Sorry! Let's get out of here." He replied as the lift began its slow descent towards the surface.
A large pool began to form across the cold tile floor.Howthis blood was spiltwould beunknown to the rest of the NERV staff, except for the one who slit the throat. One man was with this killer, butthepoor guywas dead next to the onethe fiendhad just slain. No one was around to hear him, and the slice of a knife across the throat made no sound whatsoever. Indeed, the kill was perfect; and best of all, it was just the beginning...
The murderer wiped the blade carefully and slid it back under his coat. His chuckle turned maniacal as he stared at the two bodies before him.
"...heh heh...the bitch sure was easy to handle; the solider put up more of a resistance. I guess she was all bark and no bite..."
As he approached the door entrance he looked down both ends of the dark NERV hallway to make sure that his kill actually was well executed; and as expected,not a single soularrived. After all, no one ever came down the halls during late afternoon. He chuckled again at his sheer stealth and skill. No one would even know that is was...him.
"...Family, eh Katsuragi? Well then, I will pleasure in slaying every last one of them."
The man stepped out of the shadows and into the light of the doorway, revealing the corpses of his victims. Against the wall was a foot solider; and slumped across the desk, was the body of the nurse known as Himiko Kusajira.
END OF CHAPTER 15
Whoa boy...a cliffhanger...and a sizable one at that...
This chapter was meant to be longer, but I felt that finishing it all the way would seriously disrupt the balance of the fic. Therefore, it will end here for now.
I sincerly hope that this chapter wasn't too confusing, seeing as I haven't written in quite some time (meaning that I probably have a good number of grammatical errors, even after proof-reading). If you felt that too much was being said at once...then don't worry...I feel the same way. Hopefully, the following chapters will flow better than this one. But overall, I was rather pleased with how this one turned out.
I will really REALLY try to update as soon as possible; even harder than ever. But in the meantime, please keep revewing! (if there are some of you that actually remember me out there...). Those reveiws were the very things that got me back on my feet in the first place, so please don't stop now.
Well with that said, I'll see you all at the next chapter! It feels good to be back...