The next chapter! Yay! I hope you like this one! I've been suffering from writers block for awhile, so yeah…

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Dynasty Warriors.

Meet the Suns

Chapter IV: The Dangers of Quality Time

Summary: Sun Shang Xiang and Liu Bei are engaged and now Liu Bei has to meet her family before the wedding. However, the Suns don't seem to like the new family addition at all. Will Liu Bei survive the hellish week?

The sun rose quickly and after breakfast, everyone had went their separate ways for the day.

Shang Xiang and Liu Bei were outside, lying on the grass. They were looking up at the bright blue sky which was adorned by cotton-like clouds. There was a cool breeze blowing outside.

"That one looks like…a bunny." Liu Bei said pointing up at a cloud.

"Oh, it does, it does!" Shang Xiang beamed, "My turn…let's see…Oh, look at that one!" She held his hand and pointed it at another cloud, "That one looks like two warriors stabbing each other in the gut with long, sharp swords! See? Look how mutilated and mangled their torsos look after that slash!"

Liu Bei just stared at her, shaken. She then looked at him and smiled. "Yes, like two warriors fighting each other…" he muttered weakly. Then she closed her eyes and laid her hands on her stomach, feeling the warm sunlight on her face.

"This is so much fun, Liu Bei!" she laughed, clasping the Shu ruler's hand.

He smiled at her and closed his eyes as well. Nothing could ruin the moment.

Just then a shadow came over Liu Bei. He opened one eye and saw Sun Jian bent over, staring at him. Huang Gai towered behind him.

"Oh! Good morning, L-lord Sun Jian!" the Shu ruler greeted.

"Just call me, dad!" the Tiger of Jiang Dong said, laughing.

"Erm…okay…dad…"

Shang Xiang opened her eyes and happily embraced her father. "Daddy, what are you doing here? I thought you had a stomach ache. You should really rest then!"

He shook his head, "It's not that bad anymore! It must've been something I ate last night…"Sun Jian told her, clutching his stomach.

Liu Bei felt like throwing up after he remembered just what Sun Jian had eaten.

"Anyway, I was just wondering if you'd like to go out to the countryside or something Liu Bei! You know, like a male bonding trip!" Sun Jian chuckled, slapping Liu Bei's back, "It will be fun!"

"Sure, dad…" Liu Bei answered. It felt strange and downright wrong to call him that, but anyway, he could not refuse. It would be too impolite and besides he was frightened of Huang Gai who menacingly glared at Liu Bei.

"Great, I'll get everything ready then!" Sun Jian said, running off.

After that, Shang Xiang went and told her mother that she would pick up some friends of her own. If the males were going out, so was she and she wanted to introduce her two girl friends to the boys!

Liu Bei went to consult Zhuge Liang about the bonding trip.

"It seems rather suspicious, my lord." The Sleeping Dragon said as he and Liu Bei entered the library. The Shu ruler didn't like going around the palace because it seemed rather crude. But Zhuge Liang had insisted on talking there, because it needed to be in secret.

Liu Bei sat down on one of the chairs behind a bookcase. But as he did, he heard a strange farting sound. He looked at Zhuge Laing who was chuckling behind his feather fan.

"It was the chair!" he said, defensively.

"Yes, the chair indeed…" Zhuge Liang said, laughing as he pressed down on the seat with his finger to reveal a farting sound as well. The Sleeping Dragon refrained from sitting for good reasons.

Liu Bei sighed, "Well, what about the bonding trip?"

"Since there's a high chance that something could happen to you, my lord, I suggest that you take General Guan Yu, General Zhang Fei, General Zhao Yun and I along. After all…he said that it was a male bonding trip. Did he specify which males?"

"Actually…no…not really…" the Shu ruler answered, quite unsure of what to say.

"Then, problem solved!" Zhuge Liang laughed.

Meanwhile, Sun Jian consulted his sons of his plan.

"Great idea you have there, father!" Sun Quan exclaimed, clapping his hands at the thought. The Sun family was at he stables, getting their steeds ready for the trip. "Did he accept the offer?" he asked, while Zhou Tai led his horse out before him.

The Tiger of Jiang Dong chuckled, "Well, of course he did!"

"Well, we should not get too cocky yet, my lords…" Zhou Yu interrupted as he held the reigns of Sun Ce's white stallion while the latter mounted.

Sun Ce snorted, "You're a worrywart. Did you know that?"

The strategist grimaced, then he turned to face the other Suns, "As I was saying…Zhuge Liang will most definitely advice Liu Bei not to go alone and he will probably accompany him…"

"Damn it!" Sun Jian cursed, snapping his fingers, "But would he dare bring his muscle pack along?"

"He probably wouldn't…considering that would be insulting…" Sun Quan commented as Zhou Tai helped him up his horse, "And maybe we could try to get rid off him there…"

"You too, Quan?" Sun Ce lamented, "We can't just kill him off! Don't forget about mom!"

Sun Quan shook his head, "I meant kick him out of Wu, dear brother…In any case, let's bring Huang Gai, Zhou Tai, Lu Xun and Ling Tong for good measure. Hopefully, Lu Xun already gave our cover up for the the hole in the wall."

The Tiger eyes his son suspiciously. "What hole are you talking about?"

"Hole? Who said hole?" Sun Ce laughed, "Quan said MOLE. You know the one on Ling Tong's face! Like, duh!"

Sun Jian laughed, "Of course! I knew that!"

The other two Suns sighed with relief. If their father knew about the snake incident, they would've gotten in tons of trouble. Zhou Yu looked a little nervous at that time. He had just remembered about Lady Wu, but Lu Xun would take care of that so there was no problem.

An hour passed and some of the males of Wu and Liu Bei and his party were at the forest outskirts of the estate.

"Damn, he brought his bodyguards along after all…" Sun Jian grumbled to himself.

Liu Bei smiled to himself. The morning had gone without much trouble and he started to trust the Suns and since he didn't expect the snake from the generals, so he was in a good mood that time.

His strategist on the other hand, vigilantly looked at their surroundings; he was more than certain that Wu would try something.

"Hey, did you do you-know-what?" Ling Tong whispered to Lu Xun.

The young strategist raised his brow, "What are you talking about?"

"Lady Wu? Did you trick her yet about the wall? It's not that hard to notice, ya know."

The boy smiled, "O-of course I did!" he said, knowing he was lying at the back of his head. Damn! Lu Xun had just forgotten about that, since he had overslept. They were up all night. He yawned. The best thing to do now was to keep quiet and hope the other generals could manage. Lu Xun did not want to get shouted after all!

After riding deep into the forest, they all dismounted.

The forest was dark as many of the trees grew so tall, their branches roofed the bottom. Some sunlight managed to pas through the many leaves. There were many bushes that surrounded the taller plants.

Taking in a deep breath, Zhang Fei burped, obviously deeply intoxicated with booze. "Nothing like a day in the forest with all the animal crap and deadly poisons!" he laughed, hiccupping occasionally. Guan Yu smacked him. "Brother! Don't say that out loud! You know how much of a scaredy-cat, brother is.

"Who? Me? I'm not a fraidy-cat!" Zhang Fei protested, still hiccupping.

"Not you, our OTHER brother!" Guan Yu exclaimed.

"Right, you just do that and I'll go hit on your pretty pink-haired friend, brother." The drunken general said.

"That's my horse."

Zhuge Liang sighed.

"Alright, listen up, everybody!" Sun Jian hollered, drawing everyone's attention, "The first order of business is a little hunt! Everyone gets a bow and arrow, we'll. Whoever is able to get the biggest game wins!"

Sen Ce and Sun Quan eyed their father as if he were an escaped lunatic. "Huh?"

Liu Bei gulped. "You mean...we actually have to kill the animals?" he asked, greatly horrified.

A grin snaked across Sun Jian's face. "Why, yes of course. And then we cook them!" the Tiger of Jiang Dong's exclaimed, looming over Liu Bei with a deranged look on his face. "And then we sink our teeth into their meat! Mwahaha!"

"Can I sit this one out?" Liu Bei asked, trembling.

"But you'll miss all the fun!" Sun Ce jeered, holding up his bow in arrows and aiming them at Liu Bei.

Suddenly, an arrow zipped by Liu Bei and hit the tree behind him. He let out a yelp and latched onto Zhao Yun.

Zhou Tai snorted. "Oops…my hand must've slipped." He murmured, throwing his bow to the ground. "It won't happen again…"

The bodyguard then got a wink from Sun Quan, "Good work!" he called out loud enough to be heard, "You've warmed our god friend, Liu Bei up!"

"I can't refuse you…" the Shu ruler wailed, dismayed by the turn of events.

Zhang Fei then cheered, "Wohoo! Yeah, it's party time! Let's beat on those darn critters till they're mangled and totally dead!"

There were malicious grins on all the Wu officers.

A few minutes later, everyone was armed with a bow and arrow and they had scattered all over the forest.

Ling Tong snickered from behind a bush. "This is going to be so much fun." he said. He looked back at Lu Xun who was dressing Huang Gai up in a bear suit. "Are you sure this will scare Liu Bei?" Lu Xun asked, doubtful, "Though I must admit…it IS very realistic you know…"

"I know. That's cause it's from a bear we skinned before." Ling Tong replied.

Lu Xun stepped back, disgusted.

Meanwhile, Sun Ce and Zhou Yu were setting up traps. "You are one demented mind, Zhou Yu…"Sun Ce muttered as he watched his friend place a bunch of leaves on top of a small hole. "And you're ridiculously fast at this sorta thing. I mean you bobby trapped the forest in minutes and you managed to fill that hole up with spikes!"

Zhou Yu just smiled, "Thank you for noticing my wonderful death talents, Ce. When you get a wife these talents shall come in handy…"

"What was that?"

"Oh…nothing..."

Meanwhile Liu Bei was whimpering over the fact that little innocent animals would be killed that day. He knew he didn't have to, but the Wu generals would. They would murder poor innocent creatures.

"Lord Liu Bei, are you alright?" Zhao Yun asked, looking at the Shu ruler who made no reply.

They walked along the forest trail for a while. Liu Bei kept his eyes on the ground, looking at all the dirt and stones.

It was rather quiet when suddenly, a large creature jumped out from behind a bush.

GRAWR!

Liu Bei screamed in a high-pitch and girly voice as he latched onto Zhao Yun. "Don't let it eat me! It's charcoal eyes are staring at me!"

There was a huge bear. It looked completely insane because its fur stood up and its head and limbs looked like they were just attached onto the body. Its eyes looked like charcoal…way too much like charcoal.

Huang Gai, inside the bear suit was laughing as he continued to scare Liu Bei by just randomly growling and swishing his arms around. Liu Bei's expression was priceless.

But before Zhao Yun could attack it, Zhang Fei ran out from some bushes with his bow and arrow. "I'll save you, brother!" he yelled, tackling the bear. He punched it, but the bear just pushed him off. Then Zhang Fei loaded some arrows into his bow and shot an arrow at the bear that shouted out in agony.

"Hey, this is fun!" Zhang Fei exclaimed, shoot several more arrows at the bear.

"OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" the bear wailed with each arrowshot.

Zhao Yun and Liu Bei looked surprised. "Wow, look, Zhao Yun, the bear can talk." The Shu ruler said with awe, "It's a potty mouth though…"

"IT TALKS!" Zhang Fei exclaimed hysterically, "I'll need to use something more powerful!" He then picked up a giant log and smacked the bear in the crotch.

"OH!" the bear moaned, dropping to its knees.

Then Ling Tong and Lu Xun emerged from the bushes. "We'll help you!" Lu Xun proclaimed. He really just wanted to stop them from murdering Huang Gai. The other Wu general then loaded an arrow into his bow. "I'll kill it!" Ling Tong cried as he let the arrow go much to Huang Gai and Lu Xun's horror.

But the arrow hit Zhang Fei in the back. "OWCH! What was that for?" he snapped.

"Oops, I made a mistake…"Ling Tong chuckled weakly. Darn, he was aiming for Liu Bei! "Here I go again!" He let the arrow go, only to have it embedded into Zhang Fei's back again."

"WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE TO YOU? A BULLSEYE? OR AM I AN ARROW MAGNET?" Zhang Fei wailed, greatly angered.

Ling Tong sheepishly laughed, "I'm only human, I make mistakes! Don't worry, third time's the charm!" He then loaded a third arrow and shot it.

It hit Liu Bei in his left butt cheek. The Shu ruler yelped. "I missed again. Oh well, I'll give up." Ling Tong said. Zhao Yun pulled the arrow out.

Mentally, Ling Tong cheered for his self. "You'll be okay, Liu Bei. It's just a small wound." he laughed.

Liu Bei whimpered.

"Anyway, let's help this poor bear out…" Lu Xun suggested, moving over to Huang Gai, but he tripped on something and suddenly they heard bells.

Then they heard a large thunderous sound approaching them.

"What's that?" Ling Tong wondered.

All of a sudden, from behind some trees a gigantic boulder came rolling out.

"OH CRAP!" Everyone there yelled.

Meanwhile, Zhou Yu stopped and looked up towards the sky. Someone activated one of my traps." he said, looking at Sun Ce, "I lined them all with bells so that when one is activated, I actually know that it was set-off."

"Let's go check it out then!" Sun Ce chirped, "I cannot wait to see the carnage!"

Back at the estate…

Shang Xiang had mounted her horse as she signaled for two servants to open the gates of the estate so that she could ride out. She had sent her friends out before her and was going to follow. She smiled to herself, wondering what excitement would be brought. "I'm sure it'll be so much fun." Oh, she so wanted to introduce her friends to everyone else. Shang Xiang would've gone with them but she wanted to bring Liu Bei and the others something for their bonding trip.

Elsewhere in the estate, Lady Wu was walking through the palace, heading for her room, when suddenly she let out a bloodcurdling scream upon noticing a hole in her lovely wall.

"WHO DID THIS?"

From far away, Lu Meng and Gan Ning heard that horrible screech and looked at each other. "Oh shit." They cursed in unison.

How will the remaining Wu generals persuade Lady Wu? Who are Shang Xiang's surprise guests and what will happen when they visit the men? What other plots await Liu Bei? And what is up with Wu's farting chairs?

All will be answered in chapter five!