A/N: Well hello everyone, I was cleaning my computer (meaning I was looking for old files to delete) and came across this that I did ages ago.Cute little fluffy one shot set during the Marauders Era summer holidays when they are sixteen. Sirius gets disowned, Lily is in Potter neighbour hood ('oh joy!') and James wants noodles. I'll put it in homor but also romance.For those who read MTDS, I am working on it. I'm not wasting time...I swear.On with the story!
Disclaimer: Jo has never been subject tot he horrors of people who can't cook Chinese (I think it is an Australian tradition, correct me if I'm wrong, although my Chinese friend's mothers seem to have it down...must be the traditional chinese recipes they buy at Coles--joking! they are really good cooks, and it doesn't come out of a bottle, which is probably where my father went wrong), so she would never be able to even begin to imagine the vileness of trying to down fluro pink and orange balls with pasta.Alas, it is a fate saved for us mere mortals...probably punishment for trying to be Jo.
Dedication: This story is dedicated to Wednesday night, known as 'Asian Food' night at my house, a time when my born and bred British father attempts to make the traditional delicacies of the imperial court, honey-soy chicken or sweet 'n' sour pork, out of the 'fresh from China' sauces, proudly Australian owned. I only enjoy this night when he burns the rice or noodles and cooks Thai laksa instead, because that is the only Asian thing he can pull off with out making it look like he painted plastic thingies and put them on plates. For those who can't guess, I really hate sweet 'n' sour pork.Other than that, my dad is a really good cook, 'specially when it is curry night (usually Monday).
I'll stop rambling about my misfortunes and start rambling about the misfortunes of the one and only JAMES POTTER. Even if we are suffering the same thing.
Noodles
If I could have one thing it would be a bowl of noodles. Yes I, James Potter, would like to taste some noodles, Korean ones. It's not my fault my parents are true blue English wizards. I need the culture.
Ok, I admit it, I want to eat noddles because SHE likes them. Well, that's what I overheard her saying.
So I would like some noddles. Please?
'Jamie!' a shrill voice called. James looked up from the city of bacteria on his desk and ran a hand through his hair.
Merlin I hate that name.
He stood up, took a step and promptly tripped, landing face-first into pile of dirty, used boxers. They smelt funny. He sat up spitting like a cobra. He twisted around to see his pants around his ankles. How on earth did my pants fall down? He pulled them up. He stood up.
'Jamie-pooh!' his mother called. 'Time for din-ner!'
He hoped it was noodles. He had asked nicely. Everyone knows polite little boys with rosy cheeks get noodles when they ask. Ok, so he didn't have rosy cheeks. But he had been polite.
He made his way downstairs and into the dinning room of the potter abode. 'Wazza dinna?' he asked slangily.
'Manners, James Potter!'
'Oh, what has been prepared for my evening meal, Oh mother of mine?' he recited in a holier-than-thou voice.
'I got you some of those noodles you have been begging for,' she told his, smiling. He sat down and picked up his knife and fork, banging them on the table like a child.
'Me hungry!' he cried, swinging his legs. He closed his eyes hoping to smell the food and a steaming bowl was place in front of him. He opens his eyes and looked appreciatively into the bowl.
It wasn't noodles. In the bowl was sad pile of spaghetti with sticky bits of pink and orange meat through it.
'Sweet 'n' sour pork and noodles!' declared his mother happily.
James hid his grimace. His stomach was beating its fists on the walls of his skin, trying to escape than face the torture he was about to be forced into.
His parents sat down at the table, and his father, after taking a peek into his bowl buried himself behind the Evening Prophet, sipping his wine. James, only being fifteen couldn't use the paper as an excuse. He sipped his water slowly. His mother sat down and started to delicately eat. James had often wondered whether she had taste buds. 'Enjoying your meal, dear?' she asked.
Erm.
He poked his fork, swirling it around. It looked very pretty, white strings with fluorescent balls...he popped a piece in his mouth, and nearly gagged. The food did not taste pretty. He swallowed, quickly. He sipped his water again, trying to look pleased. No actor could pull off a feat like that, but somehow James did. His mother had already devoured half her bowl. James begged to the heavens for release. Merlin, God, Jesus, Budda, Sponge bob, Dumbledore-please help me!
James thought he was going to die.
'AHAH!' Sirius jumped into the room. It was the most randomness thing that he had ever done (he usually declared his arrival a week before hand).
'Sirius!' James cried. He was very grateful inside. He swore Sirius was telepathic to whenever James was in trouble…and would Sirius always come to save the day. Either that or Moony.
James' father peered owlishly over the paper. 'What brings you here, young man?'
'You won't believe this!' Sirius crowed. 'I got disowned!' Sirius seemed to be delighted by this fact.
James stood up and the pair linked arms, dancing and singing 'Finally! Finally free!'
Sirius jumped up onto the table, and James followed him, making sure his bowl went flying and the pair started to sing a song they had prepared for this occasion. They boogied on the table, belting their lungs out:
I just want to be free
I never loved you
And you never loved me
Now I'm free!
I'm dark and mysterious
I'm a golden thing
My names is Sirius
Yet I've never been!
I'm not like them
Never have or will be
Finally I'm disowned
Not with you, only for me!
The two jumped down and ran upstairs, laughing and shouting like maniacs. Mrs Potter looked over at her husband, shocked by her son and his best friends' antics. They had been practicing that song ever since they were twelve. Made up the lyrics themselves.
'James doesn't like his dinner,' informed Mister Potter, head buried once again in the paper. She nodded, and spewed up her food into a spare bowl. Doing these types of things was the only revenge she had on her prankster child. In her day she had enjoyed the good odd prank. What Gryffindor didn't?
Upstairs the boys were rolling around on the boxer-covered floor, laughing. 'Yes!' Sirius cried, mock punching his best mate.
James pretended to be angry and hit his friend. They started to full-on play fight, wrestling each other. James finally pinned Sirius, sitting squarely on his stomach so he couldn't move. James smirked, although his glasses had slipped to the very end of his nose, making his look like some old professor. Sirius informed his friend of the fact, which only deserved him a jab from one of James' knees. James got off, and extended a hand to his friend and they stood up, smiling devilishly. The pair lounged on James bed, looking up at the ceiling.
'Let's do something,' Sirius said.
'Yes, but what, dear friend?'
'People, we need people!' Sirius cried seriously (no pun intended).
'What types of people have you in your mind?' James said, rasing his eyebrows as far as they would go.
'Female people,' Sirius said, as if it was obvious.
'Where do we find such female people?'
'THE PARK!' they both sat up, high -fiving each other. The ran downstairs again, and with a quick 'we're going out!' yelled in the direction of James' parents they slammed the front door and headed for the local muggle park.
In the park was a group of teenage girls, who hung out here every summer, mainly watching the boys go by. Right now they sat on the play equipment, chatting about what ever girls chat about. James and Sirius drew closer, so they could hear every word being said.
'Yeah, she's such a slut!' one agreed and the girls murmured, scowling.
'But she has got good tastes!' one added.
'Yeah, I mean-Greg is to DIE for!' a pretty blonde said.
James and Sirius exchanged a smirk-although (in their minds) they weren't arrogant, they knew they were better looking than most.
'Would you die for me, sweet heart?' Sirius said sweetly, sliding up to the group of girls he'd never met before. The girls turned together, like some huge creature and eyed them, calculating. They grinned at the boys.
'Yes, I've fallen from heaven right now!' the blonde teased.
'Name's Sirius-and this is-' Sirius began.
'I, my ladies am the great, the one and only, James potter!' James announced, sticking his tongue out at his friend. He bowed in a flourishing way, his nose almost touching the dirty ground.
'Potter?' a few girls echoed. He nodded eagerly.
'My dad says your parents are loonies and social outcastes and you are a rich, snobby brat who goes to a private school,' informed a dark-haired girl with purple-dyed streaks. She looked like, to put it simply, a rebel. A person who wouldn't believe or follow anything her parents said. Add the inch-thick eyeliner and purple eye shadow, the black miniskirt, purple tights, bangles and black long-sleeved top she looked the ultimate Goth. In a cool, purple way.
'Me, a brat?' James said. 'It's a disease I've had the luck to get! And you, my friend suffer far worse conditions, don't you?'
'He doesn't suffer from anything but stupidity,' Sirius told the girls in a conspirator's whisper.
'I heard that! And I don't suffer from stupidity-I enjoy every minute of it!' James cried in mockery.
Several girls were giggling.
'Yes, that would be you James,' said a female voice, and James' eyes widened when they alighted on an unexpected female. Lily even sat on the other side of the group, a scowl on her pretty face.
'Do you know him?' another blonde asked her. She had a long, horsy face and bony body. She had the smallest of resemblances to Lily. The smallest.
'We've met. The day I know him will be a very sad day indeed,' Lily replied icily.
'It's ok, Lily flower, everyone knows you love me!' James grinned.
'In your dreams Potter,' She growled.
The bony blond looked between Potter and Lily with a dawning expression. She eyed James with a look between hunger and disgust.
'So that's James dear sister?' She asked Lily.
'The one and only,' James added. 'And the love of her life.'
Lily stood up and stomped away. The girls glared at James, some of them barely hiding their hopeful gleams. 'Sorry, but I have a fair maiden to serenade!' James called as he ran after Lily, who was out the gates and walking fast along the street. 'I never knew you lived close to me!' he told her as he caught up. She said nothing and walked faster, staring at the ground. 'Come on, I've never seen you here before, so why now? Did you move…to get closer to me?' He added slyly.
He heard a tiny mutter of 'visiting friends.' Lily walked even faster, almost jogging.
'Lily, why are you running away from the man of your dreams?' James asked.
'I don't like you!'
'Deep inside you does.'
'Not.'
James grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him. He planted his lips firmly on hers and was surprised at how right it felt. She tastes like noodles, proper ones. He thought. She pulled back, spluttering. 'Yuck, ewww!' she cried. She slapped him, but his cheeky grin did not fade.
'What another?' he asked cockily.
'You smell like used underwear, James!'
'I bet you like it.'
James clutched his family jewels as he sat on his bed, grimacing in pain. 'Stop. Laughing. Sirius!' he said through gritted teeth. Sirius laughed harder, pointing at James.
'I think I'm ruined, Sirius!' James wailed, still clutching his…ahem, pride.
'The great James Potter, infertile after his first kiss!' gasped Sirius, wiping his eyes.
'I swear I'll make her pay!' growled James.
'Like what, a prank?'
James' face was set into a mask of grimness. AlI I ever wanted was to know what noodles tasted like.
James sat at the kitchen table and grinned stupidly at his wife. He couldn't believe he was about to have his first dinner with his wife. She smiled pleasantly and placed a steaming bowl in front of him. He closed his eyes, happy that at last he would taste noodles. He opened his eyes and gazed with horror at the concoction. Pink and orange filled his vision as he whispered across the table. 'This means war, Mrs Potter!'
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