FOOL'S GOLD

Summary: Love makes people do crazy things and Zhuge Liang and Jiang Wei are about to find that out when they test a special love-at-first-sight concoction on the Three Kingdoms and create havoc.

+Chapter two: Mischief Makers+

A little lethargic, Zhuge Liang dragged his feet as he and Jiang Wei walked along a path on a hill. His protégé giggled and waved the reed like a magic wand, lightly tapping the Sleeping Dragon's head.

"Let's test that concoction on the other two kingdoms before we try it on Shu. I am truly frightened of the consequences actually." Zhuge Liang sighed, closing his eyes.

"Don't worry, Prime Minister," Jiang Wei said, "I think we're near a Wei camp."

The Shu strategist nodded.

Chuckling, Jiang Wei tucked the reed under his garments. "Prime Minister, watch where you're going, you might slip off the path. The hillside is rather rocky." Jiang Wei warned him, "You're rather near the edge afterall. You should walk on the otherside you know.

"Yes, yes…" the Prime Minister murmured. Just then Zhuge Liang felt the ground beneath him give way. Oh shit! I'm falling!

"Prime Minister!"

+Fool's Gold+

Softly moaning, Zhuge Liang opened his eyes slowly and saw Jiang Wei hovering over him with an extremely worried expression. The Prime Minister's whole body ached and throbbed. His vision was rather blurry and he felt rather dizzy.

"Oh, Prime Minister!" Jing Wei beamed, excitedly as he kneeled down and embraced his beloved mentor's head.

"Yes, I'm glad to see you too Jiang Wei," Zhuge Liang mumbled, "But you're cutting my oxygen supply off…"

Sheepishly laughing and rubbing the back of his neck, Jiang Wei moved back. The Sleeping Dragon propped himself up and positioned himself into an Indian sit.

"Hm?" Zhuge Liang felt something on hid right cheek. He touched it and realized it was some bandage, "Well, Jiang Wei, you're well prepared."

Jiang Wei giggled. "The poor Prime Minister had a small wound on his cheek, so I covered it up. You made me so worried! I so wanted to examine the rest of the Prime Minister for wounds, but I was too embarrassed!" Jiang Wei slightly blushed, making Zhuge Liang twitch again.

A sigh came from Zhuge Liang but he just chuckled afterwards. "Thank you, Jiang Wei." He murmured. He felt a little throbbing coming from his left arm, so he pulled the sleeve up. There was a big bruise one or two inches away from his wrist. Zhuge Liang grimaced.

Gasping, Jiang Wei then proceeded to fold up Zhuge Liang's sleeve and tucked it in at his elbow area. "Sorry, Prime minister, but I only carry around one piece of bandage." Jiang Wei told him, "But, don't fret! I'll patch you up." Then he began to undo his ponytail. He pulled the ribbon off, causing his long brown hair to cascade down his shoulders. Smiling, Jiang Wei then wrapped his ribbon tightly around Zhuge Liang's bruise. "How's that?" Jiang Wei beamed.

Zhuge Liang reached out and rubbed Jiang Wei's head, "Good job…"he said, "But, I have to ask you something important, Jiang Wei?"

"Hm? What is it?"

"WHERE the hell are we?" Zhuge Liang snapped, pulling his hand back.

"Oh…"Jiang Wei muttered. He seemed disappointed that Zhuge Liang stopped patting him, "Well, we're hiding out behind some rocks near a Wei camp. I had to drag you all the way here, so your outfit is really dirty…"

Ignoring the last statement about his dirty clothing, Zhuge Liang stood up. "Let's try out our little concoction then." Jiang Wei lit up. "You're the greatest Prime Minister!" he exclaimed, tucking some of his hair behind his ear.

The Sleeping Dragon faced Jiang Wei and with a dramatic pause said, "I know." Then a leaf carried by the wind smacked into his face, killing the drama.

"That was cool!"

+Fool's Gold+

The two crept up behind a rock nearby the Wei encampment.

Fortunately, there was only one watchtower in the camp and they seemed to be looking somewhere else. There were some soldiers walking back and forth, but none neared their hiding spot.

A smirk was on Jiang Wei's face as he readily aimed his reed at a general. It was none other than his mentor's arch rival, Sima Yi.

"Get him good!" Zhuge Liang laughed with a hint of insanity. He felt like enjoying every ounce of watching Sima Yi fall in love with some on hideous. Aha! Finally, I will be able to humiliate you beyond all reason! Yes, this is a golden opportunity.

As Jiang Wei got ready to blow on the reed, a cry made him stop.

"A Wu army is approaching!" a Wei soldier yelled.

"What?" Sima Yi exclaimed, "Damn it. I'll show those Wu scum." He then ran off to get the army ready.

Zhuge Liang clenched his teeth. "No matter, that's a minor set back, Jiang Wei." he said, shaking his head, "We'll hit him during the battle."

"Prime Minister, they're going over there." Jiang Wei said, pointing towards a large patch of field which was carpeted with dry dead grass. He could make out the Wei army marching there.

+Fool's Gold+

Sima Yi who was mounted on his horse arched his brow. "Zhang He, what's up?"

The fruity Wei general laughed as sparkling blue butterflies flew around him, "Nothing at all, my lord. Hurry on ahead; I'll just secure the area."

Suspicion was drawn all over Sima Yi's face, but he tried to ignore it and rode ahead.

As soon as he was out of sight, Zhang He with a grin ran from the army and went towards the rocks that lined a hillside. "I saw a white fluffy bunny go behind that rock!" he chirped, "I'm going to catch it and keep it as a pet! I know! I can name it Sima Yi! That's such a cute name for a pet!" He was beside himself with joy, imagining what he would do with his new bunny.

He dashed over to where he saw the bunny.

But he stopped in his tracks when a cloud of red dust surrounded him. "What's this?"

Suddenly, Zhuge Liang jumped out from behind the rock. "Jiang Wei, we were aiming for Sima Yi, not this man!"

"Bunny!" Zhang He exclaimed happily, pointing to Zhuge Liang's hat. Suddenly he stopped and looked at Zhuge Liang, his eyes full of ardor. "You're so…beautiful!" Zhang He told him, as blue butterflies flew out from him. His heart was beating madly and he felt a great sensation race through his veins.

Oh, crap! Zhuge Liang knew what this meant. He felt a migraine coming along.

Jiang Wei popped up from behind the rock as well. "What's wrong, Prime Minister?" he asked. A blue butterfly passed by him and he popped it. He then looked at Zhang He and then looked at the seemingly horrified Shu strategist.

"I love you!" Zhang He cried aloud, reaching for Zhuge Liang.

Grabbing Zhuge Liang, Jiang Wei held his mentor away from the fruity general's clutches. "Back off." He angrily told Zhang He.

Frustration was all over Zhang He's face. "Oh, no you don't! He's mine!"

The two growled at each other and there was a spark of hostility between them.

Zhang He then reeled back and cried out, "This calls for a SHOWDOWN!"

+Fool's Gold+

To be continued…

Next chapter: Jiang Wei and Zhang He duke it out while Zhuge Liang sneaks off to try to hit Sima Yi with the concoction, only to cause a few Wu and Wei officers to fall in love.