A/N: Holy shit that was a dick move I'm sorry lmao.
A little angst. Some trigger warnings. But set up for some fantastic stuff moving forward.
One more chapter of angst before back to fluff for a bit.
please review!
Fin watched and grimaced as her face went white while she studied the one under the sheet, before standing and moving her hand to her head.
Her mind was racing, reviewing a million scenarios when a soft and shaky voice from behind her pulled her from her thoughts.
"Livie…."
She gasped, turning around to see her son's girlfriend behind her, wrapped in an EMT blanket and badly injured and bloody.
"Sammi," she breathed out, pulling her in for a close but gentle hug, not knowing the extent of her injuries.
"Livie," she sobbed into her chest, "he lost it he…mom… moms gone," she gasped and Liv nodded, rocking with her gently.
"Oh baby… oh no I'm so sorry," she whispered, tears pricking her eyes. "Are you ok? What happened?" She asked and Sam shook her head, just gasping.
"Okay… alright I want you to go to the hospital… I'm gonna call Katie okay? She'll meet you and I'll be right after as soon as I can... I promise."
She nodded quickly, gasping for air. "D-don't… d-don't," she said between stuttered sobs.
"I won't tell Eli yet… I promise okay?" She affirmed the young girls unspoken question, "but I need you to go with the EMTs please honey."
The young girl was unable to release her grasp from her long time mother figure and now, the only one she had.
"Amanda," Liv called and her trusty detective rushed to her. "Go with her to the hospital please? Call Katie, and then Elliot. Make sure the kids aren't around. Text him before hand."
"Copy," she nodded, and Liv eased Sam into her friend's arms.
Returning to the body, Liv put a hand on her head and shook it slowly. "Fin what the hell happened and do we have him?"
"We have him. Velasco brought him back to the station. He said he'll only talk to you, but I needed you to see her first," he nodded towards the ambulance. "She wouldn't go until she talked to you."
"Thank you," she said, still in slight shock at the familiar face under the sheet.
"Get down to the house," he said and she nodded through a sigh. "I want Melinda on this," she nodded to her friend's body.
"Already here, Cap," Melinda said, coming up behind her.
"Thank you," she smiled sadly at her old friend.
"Amanda is calling Katie and El to let them know. I assume he'll be in his way the moment he finds out and gets Teddy down. Can you make sure he calls Dickie and Sarah? She'll be good with Ted and Eli will need his brother."
"Copy. Go ahead," he nodded and she went back to her office.
Sam's father, Jim, was sat in interrogation when Liv walked in. Velasco and Chief were standing, looking into the room when she walked in.
"Good to see you back, Captain. Sorry it's under these circumstances," chief sighed. "Little guy okay?"
She nodded. Thankfully, the pair had become a lot closer in recent months, learning to work better with one another.
"Yes- first time leaving him to come deal with this," she shook her head.
"You sure you can handle this? If it's too close I'll call Fin."
"Oh no," she said, shrugging of her jacket. "I got him."
"Olivia," Jim said, leaning back in his chair as she walked into the interrogation room.
"Captain Benson," she corrected and sat in front of him with her arms crossed.
They stared at one another for a bit before Liv leaned forward. "Did you wanna tell me why you murdered your wife and brutalized your daughter?" She asked point blank.
"Did you wanna tell me why your son knocked up my daughter and my bitch of a wife was taking her to a clinic?"
Ever stoic, Liv shook her head. "What my son did or didn't do has no bearing on the fact that your wife is dead and your daughter is in the hospital."
He scoffed. "The pair of sluts were going to the clinic together. Some mother daughter bonding," he hissed.
"The baby wasn't yours?" She asked in regards to his wife.
"Course it was."
"And your daughter?"
"What am I a pedophile? I just said it was your son's."
"I'm just asking questions, Jim."
"Don't patronize me," he warned.
"Gladly," she said, standing to walk out of the room before he stiffened up.
"Where you going?"
"You don't want me to patronize you, so I'm walking away. I can hold on as long as I want in here before sending you off to Rikers. You're already under arrest," she shrugged, opening the door and making it halfway out.
"Wait!" He called and she looked over her shoulder.
"I'll talk."
El was watching Emma feed Teddy his bottle while Noah cuddled into him and Eli sat on the other side of his sister.
His phone buzzed, and he picked it up to find a text from Amanda.
A: Liv is fine. Need to talk to you. No kids.
E: Ok. Pretending you're Bell.
He swallowed and kissed Noah's head. "Hey guys I gotta call Bell real fast she has a question on a case," he said standing up and heading to their bedroom.
"Hey Lieu," he said when his phone rang.
"You away from them?"
"Yeah, yeah no problem. What's going on?"
"Jamie is dead and Sammi is beaten badly. She's in the hospital, I'm here with her now. Katie's on the way. Liv is at the house with the father, he's in custody."
"Oh…" El stuttered, unable to continue his act and shutting the door.
"Liv said she knows you are gonna come anyways, and to wait until the kids go to bed and get Sarah and Dickie over."
"It's that bad that he's gonna need Dick?" He whispered into the phone.
"She's… she's pregnant, Elliot."
His world spun briefly, only to be brought back again by Amanda's voice.
"And she says it's not Eli's."
Liv left the interrogation room around 9pm after getting a full confession and more details from Jim. Once he started talking, he simply couldn't stop.
She was making her way to the elevator when she saw El walking down the hallway towards her.
"Baby," he whispered and the flood gates opened as she rushed him.
They stood together in the hallway, hugging tightly as their joint tears fell for their friend, the young woman who they'd grown to love as a daughter, and their boy who'd been through so much already.
"I'm sorry I couldn't have come sooner," he whispered and she shook her head, pulling back to look at him. "I'm okay."
He shook his head, the moment mirroring one they had so long ago. "Like hell you are," he said, pulling her back to his chest and kissing her head repeatedly.
"Eli is downstairs with one of your Unis," he whispered and she nodded. "I figured. Does he know?"
"Just that Jamie is gone and Sam is hurt… not the other stuff…"
Liv put a hand to her head. "El, he's gonna be crushed. All I could think about was that he's gonna be crushed. Our baby boy," she said, her voice cracking as fresh tears fell.
"I know.. I know, me too. He doesn't deserve this."
"And I know him… he's gonna be so damn understanding about it once he processes." She shook her head.
"He's like his mom in every way," he whispered into her ear and she smiled sadly up at him.
"I need to see him," she murmured, pulling back and continuing her walk to the elevator.
"Dickie and Sarah are with the littles," he said on the ride down, and she covered her heart with her hand. "Our poor Teddy," she frowned.
"He's completely fine. He's got his biggest brother there, who's turned into the biggest teddy of them all," he teased lightly and she cracked a small smile.
"And Em and Noh?"
"Worried but fine. I wanted you to be there when we told them, tho I'm sure Emma and Eli have been texting since we left"
She smiled fondly at the bond their son and daughter had before catching sight of their pacing boy when the elevators opened.
"Baby," she called, walking quickly towards him.
His head whipped and the tears he'd been holding in fell as he sprinted towards his mom.
"Momma," he sobbed into her chest, gasping.
"I'm here baby… I got you... she's okay," she soothed, holding him tightly to her and kissing his head.
"Momma why did this happen," he sobbed, practically collapsing to the floor.
She sunk down with him and, in the middle of the precinct, he sat between her legs completely a mess.
"Sh sh… baby I'm here. I'm here. Momma's got you and dad is here. And Eli you're so loved… and we're gonna get through this and we're gonna get Sam through this," she whispered and he nodded into her chest.
El was pulled away for a brief second by a uni and he nodded, returning back and squatting down with them.
"Livie they've transported him, let's get him up to your office so we can talk okay?" El said gently as he helped his son and his wife stand.
They made their way back up to her office, and mother and son sat on the couch, embracing as Elliot sat on the table in front of them.
Eli slowly moved from hysterics to having shed all of his tears, and curled further into his mom, just remaining silent and staring ahead.
Looking to El for guidance, he nodded slowly.
"Eli… baby… dad and I have to talk to you…" she whispered.
He nodded and stared ahead, looking through his father.
"Bud," he said gently, and with the last strength the young boy had, he pulled his eyes to meet his dad's.
"Bud mom and I have to tell you some stuff… and it's not going to be easy to hear. But we think you need to hear it from us first."
His eyes watered and El reached to grasp his son's hand as Liv tightened her grip around his shoulders. "Buddy… Jim lost it on them, because Jamie was taking them both to a clinic for procedures," he said carefully and Eli's jaw went slack.
"They didn't make it...Before he caught them and um… it's a miracle honestly that the beating she took didn't cause a miscarriage," he said carefully.
Liv looked down at her son, and winced when she saw him run through scenarios and math in his head as realization hit him like a ton of bricks.
Both parents remained silent and he shook his head slowly. "It's not mine," he said, barely below a whisper.
"That's what she's saying," Liv said gently.
"She cheated on me…" he trailed off, "everything I… we…"
"There's a lot of things that... I think me and mom are thinking we want to say but… we need you to get out what you're feeling right now first," he said as he watched his fists clench.
"Gym…" he muttered standing up and wringing his hands, "gym," he repeated, rushing from his mom's office in the direction of the precinct gym.
They followed after him in a hurry to find him wailing on the punching bag that hung in the middle of the workout space.
Liv went to take a step forward but El shook his head, gently grasping her arm. "Wait… let him."
"Elliot I can't wait and watch our son hurt himself," she gasped, her momma bear instinct coming out in full force.
Eli had lost it, the worst trait of his father coming out in full force. The furious punches he was throwing were already doing a number of his unwrapped and gloveless hands.
"Going in and interrupting him right now is gonna hurt him more. He needs to get it out. I got him," El said firmly.
It was rare that he ever put his foot down to her on parenting, or vice versa, so when either did it was taken seriously.
She held up her hands and nodded. "I'm gonna call Katie," she whispered.
He pulled her in for a tight hug and kiss before letting her go with a simple "I love you."
Elliot sat on the bench across from his son and let him have at it. He knew how hard it was, to suppress anger and calm down when all you wanted to do was fucking lose it. And for the most part, his boy was significantly better than him in that area.
But he wasn't perfect. After everything he'd been through- who would be?
When he screams of anger turned into screams of pain, and blood began to fly from his knuckles, he approached the young boy from behind, wrapped him in a tight hug that constricted his arms, and sank to the ground with him.
"Dad why…" he choked out, his whole body shaking.
"I don't know bud… I don't know," he admitted, "and not having an answer for you is killing me."
He nodded quickly starting to fall into a panic attack. "Eli can you breathe with me?" El asked him gently as his boy gasped.
"Breathe with me buddy… deep breaths…" he whispered, coaxing him into matching his breaths as his body stopped shaking.
"Can you list for me all the people who love the hell out of you?" He whispered and he nodded.
"Y-you… m-mom," he sucked in a huge breath. "Emma, Noah, Ted… Mo, Katie, Dickie and Liz," he whispered and El nodded. "Good man…"
"S-Sarah and Anna Kate," he said, his breathing relaxing fully. "Carl… my friends at school…"
"Noah and Emma's friends, too," El reminded him gently.
"Yeah," he breathed out a laugh, looking down at his hands. "I think I broke my fingers," he whispered after several long moments of silence, and El nodded, inspecting them. "At least two on each hand."
"I scared mom," he said suddenly and El shook his head. "That was nothing compared to the shit I've done when mad," he teased softly and his son breathed out a chuckle, moving to face him.
"Dad why would she do that… if she didn't…" he shook his head taking a huge breath.
"I don't know… it's a question only she can answer but… the main part of tonight is that her mom was killed, maybe in front of her, and she was beaten," he said as gently as possible.
"And she needs me… us…" he whispered and El nodded.
"She does. And once we can dig through that and provide her the comfort she needs… we'll work through this whole baby and relationship thing."
"I loved… I love her," he shook his head, eyes welling again.
"I know. And I know she loves you but… she's come from a bad home and I think it was worse than any of us realized."
"I can't be a dad…" he trailed off and El shook his head.
"Son if it's not yours that not even an expectation. You've just turned 17. You have a massive year ahead of you. Soccer and scouting and touring colleges and meeting coaches. This time has to be about you…"
"Where is she gonna go, dad…" he looked up at him.
"Let me and mom figure that out. Okay?"
He nodded. "I want my mom," he whispered letting a few tears fall.
"Cmon…" he said, standing up and holding his arms open to him.
Liv was sat with her head in her hands talking to Dickie in her office.
"Mom," she heard from the door and Liv got up quickly, rushing to hug him.
"Baby, your hands," she said gently and he nodded. "I'm sorry…"
"No… don't apologize okay?"
"Bud why don't we get you home? I'll tape them and you can get some rest while mom and dad finish up here," Dickie said gently and Eli nodded.
"You sure?" Liv confirmed with him and he nodded. "I don't… I can't see her tonight I'm still too upset," he whispered and Liv and El nodded. "That's a good plan, buddy."
"You'll be home?" He asked and Liv nodded. "Couple more hours at the latest okay?"
He nodded. "Why don't you sleep in our bed," El said, rubbing his back gently.
"N-no that's…" he trailed off and Liv gave him a small smile. "You can cuddle Teddy at least."
A first tiny smile appeared and he nodded. "Okay…."
"I love you… and we're gonna get through this, Eli," Liv whispered as El wrapped his arms around both of them tightly.
"Me too, son…"
"Ditto," Dickie said hugging all three of them.
"Go try and rest and call if you need us okay?" She whispered and he nodded, slowly walking out with his brother.
Liv and El went into survival mode, checking in with Sam and Katie at the hospital before returning to the office so Liv could finish her reports.
They'd gotten a message from Dickie that all four kids were sound asleep in Eli's room and that he, Sarah, and the baby would take Emma's.
"I need to pump," she whined with a groan after a hour of paper work, checking the time and sinking back in her seat.
It was nearing one am and she hadn't breast fed in almost 8 hours and was feeling it.
"Why don't we go home and you can just feed him and get some sleep?" El asked, sitting on the edge of her desk.
She shook her head and nodded towards her cabinet on the other side of the room. "I won't make it home. I have pumps in there. I knew I would 100% forget to bring them back and forth each day."
He nodded and stood, gathering her stuff before ensuring her blinds were shut and her door was locked.
"Thank you," she sighed, taking off her glasses and pulling her shirt up, adjusting herself.
El was boarder-line drooling and she let out a soft moan as the pumps turned on and began reveling pressure.
"Today has sucked," she whispered to him as he sat on her desk, blocking her body just in case.
"It has… I just wanna go home and hold our kids," she said, her voice cracking as she sunk back in her chair while she pumped.
"So let's go home," he pressed, cupping her cheek as a few tears fell.
Her resolve broke and she nodded, allowing him to kiss her and wipe her tears away. "I just wanna forget and be close to you right now," she whispered.
"We haven't had crib sex in about 15 years," he whispered, only half teasing and she let out a laugh, wiping her eyes.
"El is he gonna be okay?" She asked and he nodded. "He's a Benson-Stabler," he said bluntly, "and the Benson part will get him through."
"You don't give yourself enough credit," she said against his lips and he nodded. "All 5 of my kids were a wreck in their own way before you came along. It's all you, babe. Especially Eli."
She gave him a weak smile and they chatted softly while she finished.
"Let's get home," he said and she nodded.
The house was quiet and everyone was tucked away for the night.
They peaked in Eli's room first, and smiled, knowing exactly what they'd find.
Their four kids were curled in bed together, with Teddy on Eli's chest.
Walking further into the room, they leaned over to give them kisses and took Teddy, careful to not disturb him, from his brothers chest.
Eli sank further under his blanket between the littles who were tucked under his comforter on either side of him.
He opened his eyes a bit and Liv kissed his forehead. "Sleep. Tomorrow is a new day."
Nodding, he rolled on his stomach and passed back out.
Ted had woken slightly by the time Liv got out of the shower. El was sitting in his towel still, rocking the little boy while they waited for momma.
She locked their bedroom door and stripped her own towel, tossing it aside before climbing under their covers and taking the little one.
He latched on instantly, nuzzling into her, and she let out a soft moan of approval as she sunk into their pillows, closing her eyes.
Her body, heart, and mind were aching from the evening's events, and El could see how tense her shoulders were.
Without a second thought, he tossed his own towel and replaced the pillows that were behind her with his body, smiling small when she laid her still wet hair against his chest.
She felt the feather touch of his rough finger tips sliding up her arms to her shoulders, and slowly began massaging the tension away.
His head rested on the side of her's as his hands expertly moved, and he glanced down to where their little boy was eating.
"We made him," he whispered and she nodded, turning to kiss the corner of his mouth. "And Emma… it's so wild to me," she replied, looking back to the little one.
"And to an extent, Noah an Eli," he said, keeping his eyes trained on their little guy. "Maybe not physically but the men they're growing into."
"You always know what to say to make my mind hurt less," she whispered, opening her eyes to switch breasts when she felt Teddy stop suckling.
"I'm your husband and your best friend. It's kinda my job," he smiled small as he watched her expertly move him to her other swollen nipple, only to have him turn his face away signaling his fullness.
"Oh come on buddy," she teased softly, "momma needs you to eat just a little bit from that one," she said, but the 6 week old had already cuddled into her chest and was falling back to sleep.
"Want me to get the pumps?" He asked and she shook her head. "No I just want you to hold me and touch me," she admitted, her voice raw with emotion.
"I can do that… let me put this one down though?" He whispered and she nodded, allowing him to break free from behind her and lay their swaddled baby in the bassinet next to their bed.
She watched him and lounged back, kicking her covers down to expose herself to him fully.
Their earlier romp in the bathroom hadn't allowed a full view of her post-baby and turned on body to him, and it made his heart flutter that she was allowing him to study her.
Her belly wasn't as tight as it usually was, and the hair on her mound and pussy lips was a little longer than she liked or felt comfortable with; despite the layer of dark hair, he could see how aroused she was when she absentmindedly spread her legs.
Her breasts were larger than he'd ever seen and her nipples were in a constant state of perkiness as they remained in wait for their son... and him. He could see her nipples under her shirt constantly and it drove him insane.
She had a few new lines along the sides of her eyes and the circles below them were darker than normal, while her hair had a few strays of gray peaking out from her usual perfectly dyed hair.
She'd never looked more beautiful.
Ever.
And the truth was that he'd take this version of his Olivia over the stunner 30 year old he'd first been partnered with, the 36 year old he started sleeping with, or even the 40 year old he'd gotten pregnant and left.
Because for the first time in all of those pairings and years of them, she was fully and completely his Oliva.
And he was her's.
Her voice and the gentle feeling of her hand in his, pulling him towards her and their bed broke him from his thoughts.
"We're gonna have to be parents a fucking lot in the next few months while we help our boy," she whispered and he nodded, "so right now.. just for a bit, I just wanna be husband and wife," she said, her other hand grasping his muscled ass and pulling him on top of her.
"Wise," he whispered, kissing her passionately and slowly, chuckling when the pressure of his body made her leak ever so slightly.
She smiled against his lips, wrapped her legs around the back of his thighs, and sent up a prayer of thanks when he didn't waste any time entering her.
Gasping softly into his mouth as he began to move, several tears fell from her eyes, causing him to pull his head back and rest it against her's so he could look into her soul as he moved.
"Tell me he's going to be okay," she gasped when he hit particularly deep.
"With you as his mother? He's going to be just fine."
She nodded and rolled her hips to meet his, her breathing increasing beneath him. "A-and us?"
"We've made it through worse," he answered honestly, capturing her lips again and smiling when he felt her body relax.
It always amazed him when his strong, badass Captain allowed her walls to crumble and be rebuilt by his sureness.
"I love you," she whispered and he nodded, speeding up.
"I love you," he replied through a slight grunt as they approached their orgasms together. "We're gonna be alright."
"We're gonna be alright," she repeated, her back arching and crying out softly into his mouth as she came around him, triggering his spilling into her.
They were gonna be alright.