Desensitized, a harry potter fanfic

b Desensitized /b

Fear. It drives us in so many directions, good and bad. Sometimes it makes me feel all alone in a world were no one understands what it is like to be me. When being alone, having the feeling of being alone in the universe can only make it worse. It makes you think of all the reasons why this place is such a shit hole of a place to live in. Hate, war, sickness, death, pain, hurt, betrayal, sadness. Why were we cursed with these heavy burdens? I as a person cannot deal with these alone. Yet that is what I seem to be doing.

I am being forced to become a Death Eater, in which my father is so insistent upon. To carry 'the Malfoy tradition'. I finally said no. and so he dragged me into the dungeons that were under the manor. He dragged me there by the back of my collar. Once again.

At first he only used the Cruciatus Curse. Then he stopped using it after I refused to scream. Now he just drags me down there to beat the hell out of me with his bare hands. Does my mother care? Of course not. Too wrapped up in her parties to be concerned about her only son.

Being a Malfoy is the next thing to being in Hell. Apart from being filthy rich, getting the shit beaten out of you and unknowing that no one will ever really love you is depressing. And in sixth year is where it all began.

The day before school, I was approached by my father. He had an offer for me from Voldemort. I declined. And beaten. I had already become mildly depressed. By the second semester I was cutting my wrists. I can't describe the pleasure I got from ridding my body of the pain I had been forced to suffer for years. I got messy and slipped up. I was found and taken to the hospital wing. The foolish nurse tried to get me to tell her what happened. I bet Potty and Weasel were i really /i happy.

And the school year came to an end and I was once again subjected to beatings. And now I am pouring out my heart to you. You, of all people, unbelievable, isn't it? Maybe you'll have some satisfaction to know that I'll be gone from this world forever, very shortly. Hurt and unloved. The story of my life. Maybe one day you'll understand the reasons for my actions. If I could take all the pain away I would. I will never follow Voldemort and no one can make me. I have found a way to be free. But freedom comes with a price.

i Draco Malfoy /i

Draco rolled up the parchment and wrote: 'To Hermione Granger.'

The one he had tormented most would receive the most satisfaction from his future actions. Draco tried the letter to an owl and off it went. In a world full of hate and death, Draco wanted nothing but to be free.

So he opened a black box, which contained a silver knife. Its handle was encrusted with emeralds and the blade was a sharp, polished silver.

His last refuge.

He took the knife and held it to his wrist. He glided the blade across his smooth pale skin and repeated the same action across his other wrist. "Last time I have to do this." He dropped the knife and watched as the blood silently poured out of the cuts. A painful death to end a painful life. He collapsed. As the world around him faded to black he uttered three final words"

i "Freedom at last." /i

Killing you
Might be the only chance I have
Of recovery
But I know it's so severe
As you know it would be
The punishment, it fits the crime.

So let's take this knife (Take this knife)
And run it down your chest
Does this feel like love? (Feel like love)
Here we are waiting
So let's take this knife
And run it down your chest
Does this feel like love?
Here we are waiting

The light looks good against
The bruises on your cheek
Another medal that you'll have to wear this week
The light looks good against
The bruises on your cheek
Another medal that you'll have to wear this week

Killing me
Might be the only chance you have
Of recovering
But I know it's so severe
As you know it would be
The punishment, it fits your crime.

You and I, will die alone tonight
You and I, will lie alone tonight
You and I, will die alone tonight
You and I, will die alone.

Authors Note: Hope you all liked it. I will be doing a sequel. The lyrics are The End of Nothing by Funeral for a Friend. R/R whatever. You know the drill.