Title: Gambling Tails
Author: Third Charm
Fandom: Babylon 5
Pairings: Marcus/Neroon, Delenn/Sheridan, Lyta/Byron/Ivanova, Zack/Talia, Lise/Micheal, Lorrel/Mayan, Bester/Carolyn, Corwin/Savic
Story Type: Comedy Snippet.
Rating: T
Disclaimer: Babylon 5 and all subsequent major characters, plots, and ideas are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Inc. and Warner Bros. The following story was written only for the purposes of entertainment. No income had been made.
Warnings: AU, not beta read, mild profanity, slash
Spoilers: Up to and including "Grey 17 is Missing", after that, all bets are off.
Summary: Set in the "Chaperones and Charades" universe. Steven Franklin makes an unwise bet, and his friends are forced to pay the consequences along with him. All though I have had this story in mind for some time, it is still wound up as an answer to the Delusions Easter Word Prompt Challenge. The words chosen are "Bunny Tails". Also, this story is set in a future timeframe of my "Chaperones and Charades" universe.
Author's Note: 1 Earth year equals 0.74 Minbari cycles in this story. The Minbari words and phrases were found at the "JumpNow" web site in John Hightower's Minbari dictionary.
Gambling Tails
"This is absolutely humiliating!" cried one Minbari voice.
"I'll never be able to show my face in public again!" moaned another.
"Come on, it's not as bad as that CCC was!" replied one of the telepaths.
"Says you, Byron!" the old GROPO growled out.
"CCC?" asked the confused ex-PsiCop.
"Don't ask, Steve. Just don't ask. Most us here are STILL trying to forget!" answered the young Captain.
"That bad?" he replied, astounded.
"Worse!" almost the entire contingent yelled.
"Let's put it this way, even the Vorlon still has nightmares," Zack Allen replied dryly.
The ex-PsiCop shuddered. "Thank God, Jeff, and Jesus I was chasing Shadows that day!"
"You just couldn't keep the rest of us out of it, could you Steven?" Sheridan growled as he fought with his own collar and bowtie.
"Yeah, this was your PERSONAL bet with Hobbs. How the HELL did the rest of us get dragged into it?!" came the almost shouted reply from the former PsiCop formerly known as Alfred Bester. (Who was now going by the nickname of Steve, short for his true birth name, and NOT to be confused with Steven Franklin, the cause of everyone's current torture.)
"Damn! How the hell do you get these cuffs on?! And, I'd like the answer to that myself," added Byron.
There was a collective growl from the Minbari contingent. "I categorically refuse to wear the headgear!" three voices said as one while starring daggers at Franklin.
Steven Franklin had the grace to blush and look repentant. "I, um, I may have made the mistake of saying that the rest of you supported my position in front of the "Fab Five and Friends."
After the shocked silence had past, all the males who were trying to get into the wait costumes required for that night, roared in one voice, "Jackass!" Then came the avalanche of separate voices and threats from all comers.
"Where the hell was your brain?! Know what, I don't care! I'll just make sure to have a nice cell in lock-up kept open for you. Preferably with a cellmate named Bubba!" B5's Security Chief threatened.
"Moron! I aught to revoke your B5 visa!" yelled a newly Captained, and irate Corwin as he fought with his own "accessories".
Not to be outdone, an just as irate Garibaldi got his two cents in with, "The next time you want help with passing an increase of your Med R&D budget or look for any donations, look somewhere else mister! EGI is no longer your personal piggy bank!"
"One word, Doc, just one word, "Zha'Ha'Dum"! And if you don't understand that, I still have some friends left that like to go boom!" was the angry ISA Presidential reply.
"If you weren't the best doctor in known space, I'd slag your brain myself!" the head of the reformed PsCorps growled out.
"And I'd help you, Steve!" Byron threatened.
"I believe that the rest of the members of my riding club have a good saying for situations such as this. It is, "Your posterior shall soon meet my lawnmower"!" the extremely embarrassed and equally angry Minbari Priest added.
"Very aptly put, my friend. I would add the use of my denn'bok (Minbari pike) if you so wish it," Lorrel growled out.
"Thank you," Lenneir said with a quick but still plight little Minbari bow.
"I would quote my husband, "I promise you this. You SHALL know PAIN"!" growled out the Shai Alyt (Warrior Caste Leader) as he again fought with that absurd looking torture devise the Humans called a "clip-on bow tie".
"Even better put, my friend," Lennier said, still struggling with his own costume.
"Thank you," Neroon said, keeping to Minbari courtesy even in the midst of this horrendous disaster.
"Hey, it wasn't my fault! I didn't know they were there!" Franklin tried to defend himself.
"Oh, and that is supposed to make us all feel better at being given a choice of either giving those - those heathens out there such a pornographic show or losing all honor!" Lennier bit out.
"What he said!" and "Yeah!" came from all around the group.
"Excuse me, but aren't those your wives, and husband in you case Neroon, out there? What's the big damned deal? I mean, Lennier and I are the only single ones in here," Franklin replied, thus digging himself even deeper into the hole he was already in.
"And when it gets out that I participated in this, this BACCANAL, I will be forced to remain single for the rest of my life; a life, mind you, that I will be forced to live in EXILE! What Minbari would want such a - a slut as one who would expose his back to one not his mate?!" Lenier seethed.
"Huh?" Steven said with puzzled expression on his face.
"Idiot!" came the universal shout.
"You're supposed to be a X.B. doctor! How can you NOT know what they're talking about!?" was Sherdan's astonished cry.
Before the next man ready to take a chunk out of Franklin's hide could, there was a knock on the door. Franklin heaved a sigh a relief. "Saved by the bell!" he thought.
"Whenever you are ready gentlemen!" came the chuckled out call from the other side of the door.
There was a collective groan of horror, and one whimper of shame, to be heard. Then Sheridan took control of the situation.
"All right. There's no help for it. We all know what will happen if we don't go through with this, so suck it up, men. We were and still are the best of the best. We can and WILL do this. Are you with me?" he roared out, galvinzing his troops for the desperate situation ahead.
"Hoo-yaa, Skipper!" answered Corwin.
"Hoo-yaa!" the rest answered as well.
"All right, let's go!" Sheridan said and led the charge.
The majority of the most powerful and prominent men in known space left the master bedroom and the ISA Presidential Residence in order to act as the wait staff and "floor show" for their illustrious spouses' "evening in with friends". The theme that tonight was the "Swinging Seventies" and the dining hall had been redecorated and refurnished to recreate a ladies' club of that era known as "The PlayGirl Club". The gentlemen were, of course, all dressed as "PlayGirl Rabbits" for that evening. And their costumes were completely authentic, from spit shined dress shoes to the tight, tush and thigh-hugging tuxedo slacks, to the formal starched collar with bowtie and studded cuffs – SANS tuxedo shirt! They all even wore the authentic accessories to their costumes; furry pink and white bunny ears -- and fuzzy, puffy, fluffy white bunny rabbit tails!