Sara woke up one morning and merely stared at her ceiling, she felt no urge to get up to work, no urge even to call in. As she scrutinized her ceiling fan as it produced air she peeled the light linens off her body and lazily made her way across the hardwood floor of her bedroom into her bathroom.
Once in there she stared at her reflection in the mirror and squinted her eyes at what she saw. Slowly tears began to slide down her face and made their way into the sink, one followed the other as she stared at her weeping self in the mirror. Sniffling she gazed down her wrist and looked thoroughly at the gashes she had made later on the night before, the night when Grissom shot her down once more, the night where she bore out her heart and soul to the man she had loved for 10 years and all she got in reply was a lousy twitch of the lip and another excuse to cover himself.
She let out a frustrated scream and, picked up the glass that sat gingerly on the countertop and hurled it at her reflection. Glass shattered, spraying her hair and the bathroom tiles; she stared at the lack of glass and blindly opened the medicine cabinet and took out a wrap for her wrist and applied the gauze.
"If this is what you get from following your heart, then I want no part of it." She mumbled and shuffled her bare feet back in her room and picked up the phone and mechanically dialed a well known number that stood out in her minds phone book. She placed the receiver to her ear and waited a total of 3 rings before the recipient picked up, his voice laced with sleep.
"Grissom."
She opened her mouth to speak but the moment she herd him utter her name scenarios of all the rejections and putdowns flashed threw her mind like a black and white movie. She clenched her eyes shut tight and bit her lip until it began to bleed.
"Hello? Is anyone there?" He asked again, his voice a little more alert and a little more demanding.
Sara jumped as tears began to slowly fall down her cheeks, she let out a sob beside she slammed the receiver on the cradle and sat down on her floor gathering up her legs and tucking her head on them as she cried.
"Sara? Is that You?" He asked but was met with a dial tone, he looked at it quizzically and pressed 69 and waited for the phone to pick up but was greeted with a voice of hurt and anguish.
"You reached Sara Sidle, sorry I couldn't come to phone right now but if you leave your name and number I'll call you as soon as I can." He blinked a couple of times, hung up the phone and laid back as he stared out his window at the rising summer sun.
Once Sara was all cried out she got to her feet and walked robotically towards her kitchen. As she stared at her fridge door she was repulsed but the sight of all the take out menus that was plastered on her fridge, in one swift moment she tore them all off and through them out, opening the fridge she viewed the array of take out cartons and cleaned her fridge out completely as if the Chinese food had tainted everything else that wasn't possessed with an expiry date already overdue.
"Never again." She said to herself as she went though her house and through out all the forensic journals, order magazines, the old police scanner and everything else that reminded her of work.
For the first time in her life Sara Sidle made a promise to herself that would change her life forever.
"Time for a change." She said as she marched to her room taking certificates off her wall, picking up clothes that littered her hallway and dumped them in the hamper in the bathroom.
She opened her dresser drawers and looked outside to judge what she would wear on the hot July day. She took out a pair of jean shorts that went to just below her thighs and a blue t-shirt that she pulled on. Staring at herself through the window she took a deep breathe and opened the window as wide as it would go and closed her eyes against the sensational breeze that filtered through. Turning to leave she stripped her bed of the old sheets and made a note to go shopping for new ones as well as everything else she would do that day. She scooped her hair up in a high ponytail she sighed and picked up her purse, slid her feet into her slip-on sandals and fished out the keys out of her purse and made her way to the door. She paused for a second, but just a second as she stared across the people mowing their lawns, children running up and down the street and smiled for the first time in days.
Stepping on to the sidewalk and inserting the keys into her Honda Civic she stepped in, rolled down the windows to both the driver's side and the passenger's side and started her engine. She put her car in gear and headed to work to hand in her resignation once and for all.
Author's Note: My first CSI fanfic was a complete disaster, so I hope this one clears the water for me. Hope you enjoy, you know what to do… Britt -x0x-
