A/N: I've cross posted through chapter 12 so as a reward here's Ch 57.

Please review!

Seriously, I take your ideas and suggestions and thrive on positive feedback.

"Hey… that's not true. You spent most of your time in your office, cleaning up our messes," Liv smiled and Eli laughed.

"Hi pops," he grinned, suddenly feeling emotional and going to hug Cragen tightly.

"Hey buddy. You doing alright?"

"Been better," he said into his shoulder.

"Well, thought I'd let your mom get some work done while I hold the bag for you and we can talk?"

"That would be really great," he smiled big.

"Your dads down stairs with pizza too," he nodded.

"He call you?" Eli asked, moving instinctively to help his mom stand, making Cragen smile.

"No, I called him. Just had this feeling my guys needed me."

"Spot on," Eli smiled, kissing Liv on the cheek as she left.

Cragen stood behind the bag and laughed a little. "Go easy on me, kid, okay?"

Eli laughed a bit and started sparring. "So I assume dads updated you?"

"Course. Talk to me."

He shrugged and sighed, staying focused on the bag for a bit before dropping his hands.

"Lot of emotions. I wasn't the father. She cheated. She didn't really cheat. I had to move on. It's twins. I moved on and now? I'm having two babies and I feel more lost than ever before."

"That's a lot for a young kid," Cragen nodded and Eli sighed. "Two kids…"

"A son and a daughter. Both with different needs and interests… but yet still needing one central thing," he said, looking at him.

"What's that?"

"Their dad to love them."

Eli hung his head in acknowledgment and sighed. "I'm scared, pops," he admitted, sitting on the bench.

"I know, and so is she. But, at the end of the day, you have to make a decision. Be a man, or don't."

Eli looked up, slightly startled.

"I love your mom and dad to death, but they're being too soft on you," he said, sitting beside him.

"You've been through hell in your young life. Hell. But everything you've been through? Sam has been through ten fold. She's been tiptoeing around your feelings, which is kind of her. But at the end or the day… you have a mom and dad who'd bend over backwards for you. Siblings who adore you. And she right now? Has Katie and Beau and feels like that's it."

Eli nodded slowly, a realization washing over him. "Been selfish…" he muttered.

"No… I don't think selfish is the right word. I think there was a lot happening and you're a good young man who'd drop it all for her. But I don't think you've ever asked… what does she want?"

"Me to succeed? That's all she talks about."

"You think that means that she wants you to succeed only, or she wants to prove she can do this alone, cause maybe she can't focus on a relationship right now?"

"Wait you really think that?" He asked, shocked.

"I don't know but it's a possibility. My point, Eli, is that you need to ask. Right now she's fresh off the loss of her mom and pregnant with twins at 17. You've known, really known, they were yours for how long?"

"Two months," he whispered.

"And where have you been?"

He laughed lightly. "Being a little bitch."

"Well… there's no time like the present right?"

"Right…"

"So," he shrugged. "Either continue being a little bitch, or step up and be a man and most importantly, their daddy. Cause, son, there's a big difference between being a father and being a dad."

He looked over at the older man that he admired so much, and pulled him in for a hug. "Thank you… I needed that."

"I know… for two badasses, your parents sure baby you," he said patting his back.

He snorted and pulled back and nodded. "You're right…. You in town a while?"

"Yes…three whole weeks. I'll be here through Emma's birthday. You, me, your dad and brothers can go golf this weekend, okay?"

"That sounds great..." he smiled before trialing off.

"Harley," Cragen said, reading his mind.

"What do I do?"

He shrugged. "I don't think it matters what you do or don't do with her, as long as you're being the support system that Sam needs and a dad to your kids."

"We... we never officially started dating I guess just more like... you know, and being friends but. Her parents came over to talk to mine the other night and she and I talked the next day. I really love her... she's got the best personality and is so, so kind. But, just keeping it casual for now I guess... well not casual but just like, be friends. She gave me an earful, too."

"You deserved it. Mom said she and Sam have grown close."

"It's a little weird but... I'm glad Sam had such a good friend in her. Cause her other friends have been kinda... weird with her."

"Well that's good. Do me a favor and don't do anything to put a wedge between the two, especially if you want them both in your life," he gave him a look.

"Yes, sir," he nodded breathing out.

Cragen was quiet a minute before looking over at him. "That means no sleeping with them at the same time."

"Yeah, yeah pops I got it," Eli said quickly, going red.

"Sometimes you're as thick as your dad is, just had to make sure I was clear."

"Understood," Eli laughed, smiling small.

"Go talk to her. I'm gonna hang with your parents and I'll see you this weekend. Okay?"

"Thank you so much pops," he said hugging him tightly and heading downstairs with him.

"You going?" El asked and he nodded, hugging them both.

"Be hard on me yeah?" He asked, hugging his mom a little tighter.

"I'll try," she winked, waving goodbye as he left.

"Go okay?" El asked Don once he was out of earshot.

"I think so… sometimes you just need a little tough love from pops," he winked and Liv laughed.

"Yeah, like us back in the day," she smiled.

"Not as bad as you guys," he smiled. "Now come on I'm starving."

"Hey… she's in her room," Katie smiled small, letting Eli in who nodded. "Me and Beau are gonna get dinner... give you guys some alone time," she nodded, rubbing his back as the pair left and he made his way to her room.

"Hi," she said, standing slowly from her bed where she was reading a text book.

"Hey," he breathed out, wrapping his arms around her tightly, and putting his hand on her belly.

Sam hugged him as best she could with her massive belly, nuzzling into his chest.

He stayed quiet, taking in a deep breath and kissing her head. "Let go," he whispered, and she did.

They sunk down onto her bed as her sobs filled the room. He held onto her tight, getting them comfy and tucked under the blanket, just allowing her to get it all out.

"I've been an ass," he whispered, rubbing her back. "You've been through more than anyone and you're my best friend I should have been there. My feelings don't matter, Sam I just care about you."

She gasped for air amidst her sobs and he played softly with her hair like he always used to, coaxing her into a state of calm and relaxation.

It was another hour before she had the courage to speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," she whispered and he shook his head. "Don't be."

"They're yours… for sure I just… Eli I don't know what I want."

"I don't either," he admitted breathing out and kissing her head.

She was quiet again before tilting her head to look up at him.

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Always," he nodded, gently brushing her cheek with the back of his hand.

"I feel so mad," she choked out.

"At me?" he asked, sucking in a deep breath to steady himself.

"Yes…"

"Tell me," he begged.

She groaned softly, mostly from the discomfort of the position she was laying in, and he pulled back a little. "Get comfy… take your time okay?"

Nodding, she sighed softly, tearing up as he helped her get settled. "Let me try something?" He asked and she nodded, desperate for any type of relief off her back.

He settled her in, pushing pillowed under her back and kissing her cheek. "Be right back," he nodded, disappearing for a few minutes and coming back with a heating pad.

She exhaled contentedly as he placed it on the perfect spot, and readjusted a few pillows, covering her up and turning the fan on before climbing back beside her.

"Pull your leg over mine," he coaxed, and she nodded, exhaling another sigh of relief and absentmindedly wrapping her arm around his middle.

"Feel better?"

"Yes," she whispered, breathing him in and hiding her smile when his hand went to her belly.

"Okay good… talk to me?"

"I just feel so alone," she gasped. "I've been hiding in his house cause I'm too exhausted and embarrassed to do anything. I've been worrying about you and your feelings and your living your dreams and for a while it distracted me from the fact that my mom is dead and my dad killed her… but then you moved on and I was back in my head and… I'm so sad, all of the time."

"I understand," he whispered.

"No you don't… you've got a mom and dad who love and support you… and I have Katie and Beau who… I love them but I know where their loyalties lie."

"Sam it was really hard when… when I thought they were Jack's and… the whole family knows now, that they're getting new grandbabies and a niece and nephew and… Sam I'm the asshole now," he breathed our softly. "They're all on your side. Pops literally came from God knows where to tell me to stop being a little bitch today cause I lash out at my mom and dad when they try."

"I know," she breathed out a chuckle. "Dickie yelled at your dad last night," she whispered and he laughed a bit too. "I figured."

He snaked down without interrupting her position so he could look at her face. His hand ran up her side to her cheek and he held it there, giving a gentle nod.

"Tell me what you need from me."

"I just need my best friend back," she whispered, blinking quickly and sending a rush of tears to his eyes. "I need to feel like the father of my son and daughter gives a shit about me and them… and Eli, I do want you to live your life. I want you to go to Princeton and date Harley or whoever. Play soccer and become a lawyer like you want to and… be successful, I want all of that. I just want… I need you to do that as my best friend and their dad."

"Okay," he said simply.

"Okay?" She asked, slightly taken aback, looking at him.

"I'm in… I'm here… and when I go away to college I… I'll still be there."

"You promise," she whispered, leaning her face closer to his.

"With everything I have," he muttered, closing the space between them and catching her lips in a soft kiss.

"I don't wanna date I just… I wanna be friends," she said between needy pecks of his lips.

"I know… I know," he nodded, pulling back and burying his head in the crook of her neck.

She breathed out and he moved his head back over her's, holding her close. "Will you just hold me?"

"Yes," he nodded quickly, settled in with her and sighing happily in the feeling of her against him.

"I really like Harley," she whispered after a while and he nodded. "I do too…"

"Promise me you'll date her?"

He laughed a little. "I think it's gonna stay more casual… for now at least. If you're okay with that."

"Yeah I… but… I know you and… I don't want to date, Eli."

"I understand…"

"Do you? Cause you know I can feel you right now, right?" She tried to tease and he breathed out a laugh. "Yeah well…" he trailed off. "Sam whatever you need from me you'll get. Okay?"

She nodded. "Can I have some time to think?"

"Much time as you need."

"But you'll come to appointments with me and stuff? I just… I feel like you haven't processed this or… you won't even call them yours."

"I'll try my best… soccer is wild and school but… yeah If you can do them in the mornings I can come but um… no I mean I haven't processed it.. them. You're right on that."

"M-my next one is tomorrow afternoon," she whispered and he sucked in a breath. "I have an away game but... next one I'm there. Okay?"

She nodded, grasping his shirt and watching him chew his lip.

"I just think it would help to see them… hear their hearts beat…" she trailed off and he nodded.

"Maybe you can take a video of them? Tomorrow? Send it to me."

She nodded again, reaching for his hand and moving it to her belly when they started kicking.

"Strong…"

"Very… always boxing," she teased, giving him an opening, but he just chuckled.

"Like their dad," she added, looking up at him.

His eyes were squeezed shut, holding back his emotions and he nodded. "That's so weird to hear out loud…"

"I know… you'll get used to it," she said, running her finger tips up his arm to his cheek and coaxing his eyes open, kissing him when they did.

Slowly, passionately, and with a little tongue that made him smile.

He pulled back a moment. "Harley and I…"

"She told me," she whispered, closing the distance again.

"Thought you didn't wanna date," he muttered, pushing his knee between her legs and making her gasp.

"I don't but… hormones," she said and he chuckled, holding her face. "You're sure."

"Yes," she nodded, giggling softly at the way her big belly got in the way.

"How," he asked, laughing softly. "I don't know," she giggled harder.

"We'll figure it out," he said, pulling the covers over them again with a smile.

He crept in the house around 10pm that night, bursting into soft laughter when his dad dramatically turned on the living room lamp from where he was sitting, feeding Teddy, and drinking with Dickie.

"Sorry I'm late," he whispered and El smiled as Dickie joined his laughter. "All good. You okay?"

"Yeah… yeah we had a good talk. We're both gonna take some more time to figure life out but… she's needs me so… I'm gonna be there," he nodded.

"I'm proud of you, son."

"Proud of you buddy," Dickie patted his back.

"I'm sorry I've been a jackass," he laughed a little.

"We love you. You're allowed but, pops is right. You needed to hear some tough love."

"And you," Dickie said looking at his dad, "needed some tough love from me."

El snickered, clearly a little drunk. "True."

Eli laughed. "It's Monday night guys," he said, motioning between their drinks. "But I'm glad I did… thank you."

"Anything for you, son."

"Can I?" He asked, pointing to Teddy.

El nodded, passing the little one over who snuggled right in to his big brothers arms and smiled around his bottle.

"Noah's gonna be so mad if he knows we're hanging without him," Eli said and Dickie's eyes went instantly mischievous.

"No," both Elliot's said together and Dickie waved them off.

"Eli you look lighter," El smiled.

"You get laid?" Dickie asked, causing all three to snort and Teddy to laugh around his bottle at the sound of their laughter.

Eli didn't answer for a minute and then looked at them. "Pregnancy hormones are no joke," he laughed and El shook his head.

"Absolutely not listening to this… don't stay up too late," he said, kissing both their heads. "You got him?"

"Yeah dad I'll put him in his crib when he's done."

"Change him too," El nodded, kissing the baby boy's head. "Love you little man."

"More than us," Dickie added and El laughed looking at him. "Sleep here tonight please."

"No I miss my own baby," he pouted. "I'll Uber."

"Okay text when you're home."

"Yes sir," he saluted and El laughed waving goodnight and going into bed.

Dickie finished his drink and sat back, looking at his brothers.

"Being creepy," Eli said, his attention and focus still on Teddy.

"You're gonna be a good dad."

"Doesn't feel like it," Eli said, looking to his big brother.

"Never does. Not till you hold them for the first time."

Eli gave him a funny look and he sighed softly. "We miscarried last week. All hit me today so… just needed some time with dad."

"Dick," Eli breathed out, his heart sinking. "I'm so sorry why didn't you…" he trailed off. "Fuck brother I'm sorry."

"Hey… it's okay… but that and… how many problems Mo and Carl have had and Mom and Dad when they were trying to conceive Ted," he sighed. "You got two healthy babies brother. I know you're young but shit… you are so lucky."

"I know… it's just so hard to wrap my head around you know?"

"I know and like I said… it's normal. But, they're a piece of you. And when you hold that piece for the first time… shit it's unbelievable."

"I trust you," Eli nodded, putting Teddy on his chest to burp him.

"There's a first," Dickie teased and Eli smiled. "Is Sarah okay?"

"Hit or miss. Easier with Anna Kate running around like a mad woman I guess."

"She's the best dude… when are you gonna marry that girl?"

Dickie laughed. "I have a plan."

"You've had a plan for years," Eli jabbed and Dickie smiled.

"I know but… an actual plan."

"Alright, alright," he conceded, smiling.

Teddy let our a loud burp and then settled into Eli's arms.

"Nice one." "Damn buddy."

They spoke together, breaking out into soft giggles.

"I hope he's close with Anna Kate and the twins and the other future cousins," Eli said, rubbing his back gently.

"He will be. He's gonna be the Mo of the crew," Dickie laughed and Eli grinned. "In charge and calm?"

"For sure. Anna Kate is gonna be Emma- strong willed, sensible, and a little scary. The twins? Obviously have to take after their Uncle Dickie and Auntie Lizzie."

"God help me," Eli exclaimed as the reality hit him.

"Just promise me something?"

"Yeah?"

"You'll enjoy and be there during this time. Focus on the now and figure out the rest when you go to school. Okay?"

He nodded. "Okay."

Liv and El lay awake, listening to their boys chat and giggle in the living room.

"Teddy is totally gonna be Mo," Liv smiled.

"I don't know the way they baby him," El chuckled and Liv laughed softly.

"Dickie okay?"

"He's sad but eh… they'll get there."

"Course."

"Thanks for letting us hang tonight," he said, rolling to toss a heavy arm over her and nuzzle his head into her neck.

"El he's our son, of course," she said with a soft kiss to his head.

"I love how easily you say that," he smiled into her chest. "Is your ankle better yet? I really wanna be inside of you."

"Elliot," she scolded playfully and he laughed.

"Sorry… coupla drinks in me and it's all I think about."

Her giggle was loud and contagious and he laughed into her chest into with her.

"How about… once my cast comes off we take a night away just you and me. Sound good?"

"Oh my God yes," he sighed happily and she chuckled. "I love you."

"I love you," he yawned.

She laughed to herself, knowing he wasn't done.

"We haven't had drunk sex in a while," he said after a beat. "Just where we're both sloppy and… fuck I'm horny," he grumbled, making her laugh harder.

"Tomorrow when you're sober, I'll let you fuck my face," she whispered seductively.

"I fucking love you."

She laughed again and kissed his head, rubbing the strong plains of his back slowly. "Can you believe our baby girl turns 13 in two weeks??"

"Not even a little," he pouted. "I want a do over."

"You got one, his name is Theodore he's adorable," she teased and he laughed.

"I wanna cuddle him can I get him?"

"Absolutely not," she laughed and he pouted more.

"Okay okay I won't."

She laid quietly, pretending to fall asleep and stifled her laugh when he slowly got out of bed. "Elliot Stabler," she said when his hand touched the door. He jumped and she laughed harder when he sprinted out of the room; returning just a few minutes later with a sound asleep Teddy.

He laid back against her with Teddy on his chest and close his eyes. "Night baby I love you," he whispered and she smiled.

"Night boys. I love you both."