A/N: This one-shot is dedicated to Kikyou, my favorite character in Inuyasha. I've always felt that she deserves a better ending…poor her! This is only my second fic in Japanese and I'm still shaping my style, so criticisms and corrections are more than welcome! Also the English translation is not word-to-word since some of the things would just sound weird, but I did keep it mostly literally accurate. If anyone wants to read the Chinese translation too, I'm posting it separately. Enjoy! Oh, and Kikyou fans tell me what you think!
And er…I think this is pretty obvious but Kikyou is the one who's narrating and 'he' refers to Inuyasha while 'she' refers to Kagome.
過去の迷い人
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by Rebbi
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あの子は私の希望を奪った。私の唯一の存在する意味を奪った。
四魂の玉がなくした今、私を支えているのは彼への思い、それしかなかった。いつか彼に会って、あのごろのように愛して、そして愛されたかった。それは闇の中で、私を守っていた小さい光のような夢だった。
その夢を、あの子が破った。
同じ顔、同じ瞳、同じ唇、同じ魂。ただ私の代わり物よ！私はそう思った。だが私は間違っていた。
彼女には、私のないやさしい微笑みを持っていた。この残酷な世界で彼を見守っている微笑を持っていた。私のない輝く命を持っていた。この土と骨で作られた体よりもっと暖かい胸に穏やかな心臓の音、それをめぐる命を持っていた。私のない遥かな未来を持っていた。彼と二人の夢、幸せ、希望、すべてを築く未来を持っていた。
同じ顔、同じ瞳、同じ唇、同じ魂なのに。なぜ？なぜ私たちの運命はこんなに不公平なの？
人間も、妖怪も、この混乱な時代に生きていくには互いに傷つき、殺しあい、それしかなかった。そう残虐な戦いを冷めた目で見ていた私は戦争の痛みを知らなかった。愛することも知らない、恨むことも知らない、喜ぶことも知らない、悲しむことも知らない私は、感情なんて、この清らかな巫女にはくだらない余計なものだと思った。そんな私は思わなかっただろう？自分もいつかこの戦争で生まれた裏切りや憎しみの犠牲者になるなんて。
今の私には何があるだろう？もうすべてを失ったのに、もう心が死んだのに、なぜこの世で亡霊のように彷徨っている? 悔しい！悲しい！こんな溢れる思いを彼に伝いたいのに。
でも、もう遅いよ。
彼の目は彼女がいる未来を見つめている。
私は永遠に過去になる。
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おわり
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Lost in the Past
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by Rebbi
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She has taken away my hope, the sole meaning of my existence.
Now, without the Jewel of the Four Souls, the only thing supporting me was my thoughts for him. I wished that someday I would meet him again, love him again and be loved by him, just like before. That was my dream, protecting me like a small flicker of light in eternal darkness.
My dream, was destroyed be her.
The same face, the same eyes, the same lips, the same soul. She was just my substitute! I thought, but I was wrong.
I can never have her gentle smile, the smile that's protecting him in this cruel battle. I can never have her bright liveliness, radiating through her tranquil heartbeat and warm embrace – so much warmer than my body of soil and bones. I can never have her shining future, where she will build her happiness, hopes and dreams with him.
The same face, the same eyes, the same lips, the same soul. Then why? Why is the goddess of fate so unfair to me?
Both human and demon can only hurt each other, kill each other in order to survive in this chaotic world. But I had only gazed them nonchalantly from afar, not knowing the pain they suffered. Love, hate, joy and sorrow, I had once condemned these emotions to be some useless burden for a holy priestess such as myself. I had never imagined that one day, I would also become the sacrifice to the betrayal and abhor born to this war.
What is there left for me now? I have already lost everything; my heart has already died. Then why do I keep on wondering like a homeless spirit in this world? Regret, sorrow, these belated overwhelming emotions! How I want them to reach him!
But it's too late now.
His eyes are only gazing at the bright future with her.
And I can only belong to the past, forever.
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The End
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