"I've Got It Bad: Rory's POV"
Never in her life would Rory have thought that Richard would have been right about her and Logan. Thinking back to the first time she ever laid eyes on him; her first day back to Yale for her sophomore year, she had been talking with Marty and Logan was walking with some of his friends, he had ever even noticed him. Their second meeting came right after Asher died; she had offered to put up posters announcing his death, Finn and Logan were lurking outside her dorm looking for some girl that Finn had met at a party. From the start Rory didn't like him; he was rich and snobby, and cocky, thought that the whole world was his and that every woman should just fall at his feet.
Then there's her very first experience involving the "Life and Death Brigade"; Rory never could have dreamt that that society or those people would come to mean so much to her. "People can live 100 years without really living for a minute. You climb up here with me; it's one less minute you haven't lived. So, what's it gonna be Ace?" That's what Logan had said to her to convince her to climb that ladder and take the plunge and jump from that platform, seven feet off the ground. She was scared, but even then she trusted Logan and when he took her hand and they jumped, she knew that her life would never be the same, but with him she would be alright.
A smile brushes across Rory's face as she thinks about the prank that Logan had conned Finn and Colin into helping him pull on her. At the time she was so angry with him, with all of them, but no thinking back all she could do is laugh. "I think I fell for him that day" she mummers to herself. Thinking back on all these memories, she and Logan hadn't known each other all that long, and yet they had already been through quite a lot together, what would the future bring?
Secretly Rory wished that after graduation Mitchum would hire her to work for him, that way she and Logan could work together. She still couldn't wait to see the world, and now she'd have someone to see it with. Logan had already opened her up into a whole new world just in Connecticut, and Rory knew that throughout his life he had been a lot of places, seen a lot of things, and she wondered what he could show her elsewhere.
A bit of sadness filled her mind though; if she were to go to New York or Europe or wherever, than she's have to leave her mother. Rory spent her entire life dreaming of traveling and doing exciting things, but the concept that she's actually have to leave Lorelai had honestly never crossed her mind. "I guess I just always blocked it out, because it seemed so far away." she thought. But now that Rory's future was knocking on her door she became rather terrified of it, maybe Logan was absolutely right in saying that she had been too sheltered. Now she couldn't bear to leave or loose her mother, but Rory also knew that staying put in Stars Hallow was not a viable option. "If Mom were here, she'd know how Logan and I feel about each other, I wouldn't even have to say it, she'd just see it." Rory thought.
As Rory had been looking through a photo album this entire time, walking down memory lane, she stumbled upon pictures of her two past loves; Dean and Jess. Dean had been her first everything; her first interest in a guy, her first kiss, her first boyfriend, her first love, her first heartbreak and her first sexual experience. It was funny; she and Dean had never really ever thought or talked about having sex while they were together; given Lorelai's pregnancy at sixteen it just was something they wouldn't do. Funny that it took them breaking up, her moving on with somebody else and that ending and his getting married for them to give in. Dean had loved her more than anything, he felt something stronger than she ever had. She hadn't seen him for the entire time she had been with Logan. After "the incident" Dean and Lindsay went away together to try and salvage their marriage. Rory was glad, she wanted Dean to be happy; he would always hold a special place in her heart.
Then there was Jess; the one she had left Dean for the first time. She had loved him more than she had Dean, more than she had ever felt possible. After he ran away without any explanation Rory had been forced to move on and let him go. But Jess was somehow always inside her, maybe he always would be.
Rory laughed to herself when she came across pictures from Chilton; pictures from their rendition of "Romeo and Juliet", there standing next to her was Tristan. Tristan Dugrey, another thorn in Rory's side, another notch in her belt, so to speak. That was the last time she had ever seen or heard from Tristan; his father sent him to military school. She thought about him from time to time, wondered what ever happened to him. She thought of him especially now that she was with Logan, he kind of reminded her of Tristan. What if she had given in to him? What if they had tried a relationship? At the time she was with Dean and happy to be and not the person that she is now; the person who would take the risk and tell a guy that she likes him and wants to be with him. Boy, would Paris have been mad if Rory had dared to date Tristan.
These men that had graced Rory's life and heart, she thought of them often and probably always would, but they weren't a part of her that she felt she needed to share with her husband. She surely didn't want to know about the women who had blazed in and out of his life. "A woman's heart is a deep ocean of secrets", she thought. These people; these guys had been a part of her life, a part of her soul; she had to live with them inside her, and would die carrying them with her.
Now, she had this great love that she never could have imagined, the love of Logan Huntzberger, though those three little words still went unspoken; neither Rory nor Logan had admitted their love for the other to each other or anyone else. Dean, Tristan and Jess had been her past, Logan was her present and future, and the thought of him brought a smile to her face, tears to her eyes and butterflies to her stomach.