Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine.
AN: I decided to give myself a break from trying to write angsty fics, since it's not my forte. Last weekend, I've been researching pick-up lines for a laugh, and I saw a line, "I'm a Snickers--why wait?" So I got inspired. Enjoy!
Though Nick hated to admit it, even to himself, he still has some leftover "party boy" in him from his college years. Despite the events that should've rendered him to lead a lonely, celibate life, he still decided that it was a good idea to drown out his hurt by going out and having fun. It was as if that was his defense mechanism against himself. But enough with the drama.
Clad in faded jeans and an untucked button-up shirt, Nick walked into a club alone. Normally, he'd ask his buddy, Warrick, but he was on a tight leash called, "marriage." Greg was on-call, and Grissom was totally out of the question.
The club was pretty crowded and busy, but not enough to make him want to leave. He ordered a drink from the bartender, sitting on one of the few vacant bar stools.
"Thanks, man," he said as he got his drink from the bartender. He sat there, downing a Bud Light every now and then, watching people dance rather carelessly and unskillfully on the packed dance floor. He took a look around the bar, hoping for a damsel in distress, or someone who would be good enough to strike up a conversation with. His eyes stopped searching as he saw a curly-haired brunette sitting about eight stools from him, watching people dance and her head was bobbing to the pulsating music. She turned a little more towards him, and he recognized her. He'd recognize that profile anywhere.
Sara was sipping her risqué-named drink, nodding to the music, and wondering why she wasn't dancing on the dance floor.. I struck her that she probably wouldn't want to dance like a robot having a seizure along with a pack of sardines. It was a pretty busy night for her, two drunken men tried to hit on her, and of course, her smart-ass rebuttals kept them away.
"Haven't we met before?" Great. Another intoxicated man finally lowering his standards to hit on me, she thought.
"Yeah, I'm the receptionist from the V.D. clinic," she turned, wanting to see the guy fluster on her wise-ass stab.
"Oooh, Sara, that hurts," Nick put a hand to his chest. He smirked when he saw her eyes widen.
"What are you doing here?" Sara asked.
"Oh, you know, livening up my dying social life."
She chuckled, "By using a lame pick-up line?"
He scoffed, "Hey that was clever. I knew it was you before I approached you, so I said that. Nice return, by the way."
"Thanks. I've been fending guys since I came here, so I'm armed and dangerous with insulting comments."
Nick laughed, thinking that that comment was a trademark Sara Sidle.
"So, was that line the best you got?" she asked.
"Oh, no," he elongated the word. "I have bigger and better guns in my arsenal."
"Well, why don't you enlighten me here?"
"The man of your dreams was on his way, but I beat the crap out of him so I could get to you first," he said with a smug smile.
She laughed and clapped her hands lightly. Yep, alcohol was starting to make its way in. "You're gonna have to find one to top that, Stokes."
"Remember this moment, so we can tell our children how we met."
"Ugh, Nick, that reeks with cheese."
"Hey! I came up with that all by myself!"
"Sorry, didn't pass. Next."
"Alright," he racked his brain for one. "Apart from being sexy, what else do you do?" She won't know I meant that, right? he asked himself.
She gave a thumbs down.
He glared at her, and a mischievous grin took over his face. "Give me your hand."
"Why?" she asked apprehensively.
"Just humor me, will you?" She finally gave upp and gave him her hand, unsure of what he was going to do next.
He turned her hand so her palm was up and started to point things out, "There was a little bunny here, and a bug river over there. The bunny wants to get to the other side, but he can't swim and it's too long to hop around. How does the bunny get over?"
Forensic Sara took over, and racked her brain for an answer. Minutes later, she sighed, disappointed in herself that she couldn't answer the question. "I don't know. Why?"
He smirked, "I don't know either. I just wanted to hold your hand."
She gave him her 'I can't believe you did that' face, followed by a sheepish smile.
"That was pretty good. Except don't try that out on nerdy girls, 'cause it'll take forever, and they'd get pissed at you for asking a stupid question."
"Hey, don't go Simon Cowell on me. Let's hear your pick-up lines, see if you're any better than I am," he offered, but he knew she wouldn't. So he decided to make it a challenge.
"Which I doubt." He knew he had her. She always wants to prove people wrong.
"Is it hot in here, or is it just you?" Okay, he won't know that I'm directly telling him that she assured herself.
"Ugh, jeez, Sara. That's the worst in the book. Next."
"Fine," she huffed. "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
"Why?"
"Because you were there," she answered sweetly.
"Uhhh...no."
"I know milk does a body good, but damn--how much have you been drinking?" She looked smug, even though she was actually giddy that she finally got to use that line on him.
"Heard it," he said, without missing a beat." When she muttered, 'Obviously', he laughed and blushed a little.
"If I said your body was good, would you hold it against me?"
He inhaled deeply, "I've heard that one before, but it works."
"Men..." she said, and they both chuckled. This night was turning out well for both of them.
"Alright," she said after sipping her drink. "What was the cheesiest line you used?"
He chuckled as he tried to remember one. "Do you have a quarter? 'Cause my mom asked me to call her if I meet the girl of my dreams."
"Aw, that wasn't cheesy. That was sweet, Nicky," she tried to stifle a laugh.
He snorted, "You know it was cheesy."
"So what did the girl say?"
"She told me that was cheesy but she cut me some slack since she's never heard it before.
So what about you?"
"Umm...Okay. They say kissing is a language. How about a conversation?"
He smirked again, "Pretty good. What happened?"
"One night stand," she shrugged. Nick almost melted. He never knew Sara was a seductress.
"Okay, uh, what was the dirtiest line you used?" He had an evil look on his face.
"Oh, no. Uh-uh. I don't do dirty, Nick," she tried to muster a serious tone.
"Yeah, right, Sidle."
"Okay, but this was way back in college," she motioned him to come closer. She
whispered huskily, "I would take out my retainer for you." She pulled back, laughing hard at Nick's surprised face.
"Whoa, Sidle..." he whistled low."Never figured you were like that..."
"Hey, shut up. What about you? Oh, wait, lemme guess. You used the flipping a coin line?" She mocked a guy voice, "If I flip a quarter, what are the chances of me getting head?"
"No, actually. Never used that before."
"So what did you use?"
He thought about it for a moment, and shook his head. "No, I shouldn't tell you."
"Nick! C'mon! It can't be as bad as I said…"
He was pretty shocked that she'd actually want to hear his dirty pick-up line. But, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. "I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then move up to your belly button."
She waited for a moment for it to sink in, and she her jaw dropped upon realization.
She smacked his arm. "Nick! You are so bad!"
"That I am," he winked.
"So what did the girl say?"
"She stalked off."
She feigned a surprise expression, "Really? Someone rejected you? Wow."
"Okay, what was the absolute worst line you ever used?"
After a minute of thinking, she finally said, "If hotness was a crime, you'd be in for life…"
He nearly spit out his second helping of beer. "You just can't let go of the law
enforcement, can you?" She was so embarrassed.
"What was your absolute worst?"
"Hey! If you're here, who's running heaven?"
She laughed and snorted. "Wow, you have your off-days too."
"Haha. What was your best line?"
"Hey, you have an iPod. Should I get a Nano or a 30gig?"
He looked perplexed. "That wasn't exactly a pick-up line."
"No, that was a pick-up line. The thing that makes it great is that the guy won't have a planned rejection on me. Plus, guys are gear heads. So it worked," she explained smugly.
"Hmm. Nice."
"What about you?"
"So, what haven't you been told tonight?"
"Ooh. Smooth."
A light bulb appeared on Nick's head. "Hey Sar?"
"Yeah?"
"What line would you use on me?"
She panicked a little. "You mean if I didn't know you at all?"
"Yeah. I'm just some guy at a bar, all alone."
"Okay…"
"So let's forget for a couple of minutes that we're Nick and Sara from the crime lab."
"Do I know you from somewhere? You know, besides my dreams?" She said and watched him intently while sipping her drink.
He smiled sheepishly. He couldn't believe the reason why he was blushing after a borderline cheesy line.
"Did it work?"
"A little bit."
"Yeah, right. You're blushing, Stokes. You know you loved it…" she poked him.
"Okay, so I did."
"So what would you use on me?"
He smiled at her fondly. He'd actually thought about it minutes prior their encounter. He knew it was going to work. He just does.
"Smile if you want me."
Sara tried to squish her lips to the side to prevent from smiling. He could read her like a book, so it didn't matter, anyway. She could tell he was having a great time watching her, since she saw his Adam's Apple bob up and down slightly to keep from laughing out loud. She bit her lip and tried to muster a frown but failed. Damn. She smiled at him.
"I knew it." All of a sudden, Nick noticed a smoky look in her eye, along with a smile that sent him to a hormone overload. "Hey," trailed a finger up her arm.
She broke out of her lust-filled trance and looked at him in the eye.
"You wanna get outta here?" His head nodded to the direction of the exit.
She revealed her gap-toothed smile. "It's about time you asked."
The End
Yeah, that was a lame one-liner end, but what can I do? Great one-liners is forensicsfan's thing. :)
I'm an author who seeks approval of others. Please review:D