AN: We are not yet at the fun/juicy part of the story. Sorry!
Finally falling asleep after tossing and turning all night, Hinata's weary mind subconsciously registers an orange ember glow filling the room, as well as persistent ruffling in the direction of her closet.
"There is a clean cloak at the back of the closet," She drags the pillow over her face to block out the offending light disturbing her rest, "don't forget to drop the dirty one in the hamper." Internally she curses her husband's thoughtlessness. Couldn't he have done this with the lights off, or at the very least been a little quieter? Instead, her bedroom sounds like it housed half-a-dozen hungry raccoons dining at their favourite trash can.
"Sorry, nee-san."
The soft feminine voice immediately revives Hinata's stream of consciousness and serves as a reminder that she is at her family's compound.
"Hanabi?" Hinata pushes the pillow away from her face, before sitting upright.
"I didn't mean to wake you. Where did you hide it?" Hanabi continues ruffling through the closet.
"What are you looking for?" Hinata asks through a yawn. Her sleepy mind can't figure out exactly what Hanabi is so eager to find in her childhood bedroom.
"The envelope I gave you last night. The big yellow one from Hiroomi's bedroom." Her sister replies with a huff of annoyance.
Hinata bows her back and buries her face in the palms of her hands as memories of last night's encounter at the river bank resurfaces.
"It's not here," Hinata admits, which ceases her sister's investigation.
Hanabi walks over to sit next to her sister on the worn-out mattress, "Care to share where it is? Please don't tell me you took it home. What if Naruto finds it? That's the worst hiding place…"
Hinata cuts off her sister's panicked tirade, "It's not at my home. I hid it well. Where no one would find it." Hinata squeezes her sister's hand reassuringly. While she didn't play a role in hiding it, it was true that no one would find it in the Uchiha compound.
"Are you sure?" Hinata answers with a slight nod of her head, hoping she is hiding her guilt of omission. She is not ready to speak or verbally acknowledge her encounter with Sasuke. It's best to bury it and pretend that it never happened.
"Sorry, I just didn't have time to read the file. I want us to be prepared before anyone outside the clan sees it," Hinata appreciates her sister's explanation, even though it's unnecessary, as she too prefers to be ready to defend her family if it came to that.
"I know." Hinata covers up a long yawn, then asks, "What time is it?"
The orange hue she mistook for the artificial illumination of a light bulb was in fact the bright morning sunlight trickling through her old, lavender curtains.
"Just after nine," Hanabi's announcement startles Hinata; she had slept well beyond the time she usually roused.
"Himawari?"
Hinata is halfway off the bed ready to get her daughter prepared for the day, but Hanabi brings her back when she tells her that Ko had already fed Himawari and offered to take her to the academy.
Frowning, Hinata groans, "What's the point of severing ties of dependence on the branch-family if they still do everything for us."
Rolling her eyes, Hanabi pinches her sister's upper arm, "Ever think we actually adore your daughter and it's not a chore to look after her?"
Hinata grimaces at the friendly, but painful pinch,"She's my responsibility. You and Ko both have jobs. All I have to do is take care of her and be a good mother. But I am not even good enough to do that properly."
"Gosh, woman. Are these really the first thoughts that come to your mind in the morning? You slept in, get over it. Hima is not a baby. At that age, you and I were already fully taking care of ourselves."
"Because we didn't have a choice. Kaa-san wasn't there." Hinata reminds her sister.
"Yeah, I am well aware of that. Even if she were, it wouldn't have changed things. It's normal and healthy for young kids to be self-sufficient. Aren't you tired of all this self-hate? I thought you had gotten over all of this."
Hinata looks away from her sister. Her self-inflicted hate was well deserved, she was a failure in every aspect of her life. Especially as of late when it came to her children and marriage.
Hanabi gives her sister a quick hug, "Don't be so hard on yourself, Hina. You're just one person and you're trying your best. No parent is perfect. Look at Chichiue, he's lucky you still speak to him."
The thought of cutting ties with Hiashi had never crossed Hinata's mind. Mostly because she understood the rationale behind his cold treatment towards her when she was a child. They lived in a different era and he was simply trying to mold and shape her into success. Too bad there were too many bubbles in her core for his teachings to hold properly.
"Stop being so hard on yourself," Hanabi reiterates.
Hinata smooths the creases on Hanabi's forehead, "You're too young and pretty for worry-lines. I am your big sister, please don't fret about me. I am okay, just woke up on the wrong side of the bed." The lies flowed so effortlessly.
"Good. Cause I have to run. I have to find a sub to escort my genin team on a mission."
"Why do you need a substitute?" Hinata retrieves a bathrobe and towel from the closet.
"Chichiue has an appointment with a physiotherapist. It's to deal with his frozen shoulder. The clan's healer didn't help much. I am sure the elders will be pissed that we are seeking outside help, but fuck it. His range of motion is steadily declining."
Out of touch, and in her own bubble of domesticity, Hinata felt ashamed for her ignorance, "I had no idea, Hanabi. Why didn't you tell me, I could've stepped in. You don't have to do all of this on your own."
"You have your own shit to deal with. I'm clan heiress, it's my job…"
Hinata quickly cuts her off, "He's my father too, and I am the older sister. It's my job to take care of him. I'll take him to the appointment."
"You sure?" Without Hanabi admitting it, Hinata can see that this is the response her little sister desires.
"Of course. Don't disappoint your team," Hinata offers a tired smile.
After thanking her sister a few times, Hanabi rushes off to meet her team.
Break
Hinata's guilt leaves her bereft of words. The worries of her marriage have never dissolved as quickly as it did upon seeing her father's physical condition.
The atrophy of the muscles on his left shoulder had progressed to the point where he could barely lift his arm. The therapist made no promises and only offered minute hope of being able to restore minimal mobility. However, what the therapist did promise was a painful and arduous journey ahead.
"Stop blaming yourself, Hinata. This has nothing to do with you." Hiashi tells his daughter on the walk back from the village to the Hyuga compound.
"If I knew earlier, I could have helped", Hinata says more to herself than her father. She doesn't mean for her tone to sound accusatory.
"It was my decision to delay seeking outside help. I guess it serves me right. It's just another example of, how did you and Naruto phrase it, 'The Hyuga sticking to their archaic ways'".
Hiashi's chuckle does little to lighten Hinata's mood. They both nod to the guards upon entering the compound, Hinata goes one step further and offers a well-practiced smile, though devoid of mirth today.
Hiashi leads Hinata to the kitchen for an early lunch.
On an unpolished cedar table, Hinata serves her father the lunch prepared by a branch family member. Tucking her knees under her thighs, she joins him on a soft cushion on the floor.
"Your father is an old man, Hinata. I should have been dead long ago." Hinata gaze darts from her untouched food to her father's wrinkled eyes. Lavender eyes full of dismay at this morbid declaration.
"It was beyond a miracle that Sasuke found me after Toneri's attack. Everyday since then, I have considered it to be a blessing to be alive. I am lucky enough to be able to function and move as well as I do."
Hinata retorts that he shouldn't be complacent given the advancements in medicine and technology. She suggests they consult with Tsunade on treatment options.
"Listen, Child." Hinata stiffens at the stern change in tone, it's one she is well-acquainted with during childhood, "Tsunade's attention is needed for more important matters. She has lives to save, I am just a stubborn old man with a perfectly functioning right hand. As a soon to be retiree, I don't need both to survive."
"Chichiue, let's at least try to find…" Hinata tries to plead.
"Enough. I've made my decision. End of discussion. Now finish your meal." Hinata can't remember the last time her father spoke with such authority. Never voiced, but there were times where she questioned her father's cognitive functioning. In recent years, gone was the stern man she grew up with, and all she thought was left was a bumbling, cheerful grandfather whose main purpose it seemed was doting on her children. Seeing a glimpse of the personality that she was more familiar with, left her with a sense of ease. At least he was solid in mind and his unusual but pleasant affectionate persona was voluntary, and not a result of mental decay.
After their meal is finished and Hinata has cleaned up the dining table, Hiashi requests to have his granddaughter spend the week with him. His reasoning is that since she already has her overnight bag at the compound, it would be easier for her to say.
Never one to say no to her father, Hinata easily agrees. Plus, she knew Himawari would probably make the same request.
"I think I need an afternoon nap." This doesn't alarm Hinata as she too would have been exhausted after the series of painful exercises the young physiotherapist guided her father through.
Even though she knows he's capable of making it back to his room on his own, she trails behind him. She helps him change into something more comfortable and guides him to the bed.
He doesn't rebuff her assistance, but he laughs when she pulls the blanket over his chest, essentially tucking him in, "When I said I was old, I didn't mean I was decrepit and incapable of taking care of myself. But thank you."
Hinata knows this, but helping out in any way eases the guilt. Her actions aren't as selfless as her father probably assumes.
"Where are you off to now?" Hiashi shifts a pillow lower to better wrap it around his neck.
Mind far away; thinking about past learnings related to her father's condition, she honestly blurts out, "The Uchiha compound."
She bites hard into her lower lip upon realization of her admission.
"Hn. It seems that you and Sasuke have gotten quite close." Hinata looks away from her father's probing eyes.
Hinata straightens her back, and tries her best to look indifferent, "I wouldn't say we are close. We are well-acquainted because he's Boruto-kun's sensei."
"Is that right? I thought you two were on friendly terms. I noticed he stayed back with you after Hiroomi's speech. Was it to comfort you?" Hinata knows she isn't imagining the tinge of disgust lacing her father's voice.
Swallowing her fear, Hinata tells the truth, "Yes, but anyone with an ounce of compassion would have done the same."
"I never took him for the compassionate type. And anyways, isn't it your family's or husband's place to offer comfort?"
"I didn't expect you to. You're clan head, it would be improper of you to speak against the elders of your clan. I also know that you no longer share Hiroomi-san's sentiment." She hides the sadness trying to escape at the thought that her father once perceived her the same as Hiroomi.
"What about your husband? You do know that he too doesn't share that sentiment?" Hiashi asks in a more gentle tone.
"Of course, Chichiue", Hinata knows she should drop the conversation, but frustrations and a much needed desire to vent prods her on, "but why were his first words accusatory?"
Hiashi sighs, and with great effort sits up, "Being a leader isn't always easy. As much as he's accepted, he's also surrounded by archaic council members who doubt his age and qualifications for the job. It can make anyone defensive and harsh, even someone as carefree and as kind as your husband. You have to be patient with him."
"I am patient, Chichue. But I have feelings too." Why was she always the one having to bend and accommodate? Was it because she had less to offer the village, and was therefore seen as less worthy?
"I wish your mother were still alive, she would probably offer you better advice." Hiashi affectionately caresses his daughter's hand.
"I know I wasn't a good father in your youth. But I try to do right by you now. So, I hope you take my guidance to heart. If you're unhappy, you need to communicate that. Don't let it fester. Marriage is a precarious thing. Too many cracks and it can become irreparable. What you and Naruto have is beautiful."
Hinata opens her mouth to protest, but stays silent as Hiashi shakes his head and continues "What you have, Hinata. Not had. Naruto is a good man. You're lucky to have him as a husband."
Hinata breathes in deeply and forces a smile that she hopes reaches her eyes, "You're right."
What else could she really say? That she was tired of people always reminding her how lucky she was for capturing Naruto's interest? That comments like this made her feel less of herself; as if she brought nothing to their marriage?
Seemingly satisfied with her response, Hiashi lays back down, "Can I offer one more piece of advice?"
Hinata smiles and nods her head placatingly, wishing the conversation would soon end.
"The grass isn't always greener on the other side."
"Chichue," Hinata tries to calm her breathing, "I am not planning on leaving my husband for someone else. Not for Sasuke." Her words hold truth, she never once considered Sasuke a romantic option. He offered her something else, but something as sweet as romance was far from it.
"I am not accusing you, Child." Hiashi's tone lowers in pitch but rises in authority. "I am simply offering advice. Sometimes we look for better, and we end up with much worse."
"Sasuke is reformed, and I know he's trying to do right by the village and Naruto. But I pity the woman who loves him. Only tragedy will befall her."
Frowning, Hinata quietly says, "You make him sound like a monster."
Hiashi shakes his head, "No. I don't think he's a monster. But loving someone who doesn't know how to love will just end in heartbreak."
Thank you to everyone who read my previous mini rant. I think I was just having a bad day and taking it out on my writing.
I appreciate all the kind words and feedback. I really hope you continue to enjoy this story.
I don't know the social etiquette for this site, that's why I don't reply to some of your comments. I feel weird PM-ing a response. It feels so invasive. However, I do appreciate each and every comment.
Last but not least, I want to express my sorrow for losing fellow SasuHina writer, Katarina-Hime. I adored her stories, and it's really a tragedy that she passed at such a young age. I never spoke to her, and I don't think I ever offered my heartfelt praise on any of her stories - something that I do regret.
But I won't make that mistake again, I'll make sure to comment on each and every story that I enjoy. I highly encourage you guys to do the same (if you don't already).
Fanfiction has helped me kill time and work through bad moments in my life. In my mind, I am always thankful for the writers who take the time and effort to share a beautiful story.
There are a few writers, Katarina would have fallen into this category, that I wish I could buy a coffee for. Just to thank them for the joy they brought to my life. Do any of you feel the same way? Curious to know some of your favourite authors.
Fanfiction holds a special place in my heart because it is a work of labour that's completely free. Where else can you find people spending hours creating content that is done solely for love of the fandom?
Thanks to all the amazing writers (SasuHina and other ships as well)!
RIP Katarine-Hime!