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Disclaimer:
I am not JKR. I don't own the Potter universe or any song
words you see.
"Your not alone here,
Not at
all,
Let me belong here,
Break My Fall"
-Breaking Benjamin - Break My Fall-
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To:
Ginny Weasley DP Editor
Subject: Granger
What is wrong
with you people? Do you have some sort of conspiracy against me?
I
let you go get Granger from the toilet assuming you'd be back, but,
guess what? YOU'RE NOT!
I don't care what's up with her,
you get her back in here to work NOW! I have a DEADLINE!
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To: Ginny Weasley DP Editor Re: Granger
Hello? Did
you even read my last message? Quit yapping and get to
work!
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To: DP Editor Ginny Weasley Chill
Just a bit
paranoid today are we? Missed your daily caffeine intake? For your
information Mr-I-Care-Way-Too-Much-About-Deadlines we weren't
yapping as you so nicely put it! Hermione's upset, the least
you could do is show her some compassion, but oh, I forgot, you have
NO HEART! (And even if you do have one it's black!)
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To: Hermione Granger- My brother is a complete idiot! Ginny Weasley You okay?
Are you
feeling any better? I'm sure it'll all sort itself out. Really,
it will. Ron probably didn't even realise what he was saying, he's
stupid like that, it's a guy thing.
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To: Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger Re: You okay?
But why
would he say it if he didn't mean it? You don't say things like
that and not mean it. What am I going to
do?
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To: Ronald Weasley- I'd write your will if I were you! Ginny Weasley I can't believe you…
YOU
ARE DEAD! Seriously when I get hold of you I will make sure you
won't be able to reproduce or even try too! If you don't explain
yourself to your upset almost ex-fiancé, you'll find
yourself in a ditch, or worse, with mum finding out about this, and
you know what that'll mean!
I mean it! Don't even try to test
my
patience!
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron (NOT Ronald) Weasley Re: I can't believe you…
I
don't even know what I have supposed to have done wrong! Can
someone explain this to me? I didn't even do
anything!
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To: Ron(ALD) Weasley- I'd write your will NOW! Ginny Weasley Prat
Yes you did, you
stupid prat! I swear, it's a wonder Hermione has put up with you
for so long. Speaking of which, if you haven't do anything wrong
then why is your 'soon -to-be-wife' crying her eyes out in the DP
toilet? Get yourself out of that, you
idiot!
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley WHAT?
WHAT? Why is she
crying? You women get emotional over everything! Why won't
you believe me I don't know what I did
wrong?
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To: Ron(ALD) Weasley Ginny Weasley snort
Because, dear
Ronniekins, I know you too
well.
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To: Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley Relax!
Calm down, it'll
be fine. Take deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out.
I've been talking
to Ron, he doesn't even know what he's done, can you believe
that? Typical male.
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To: Robert Fine Rachael Park Your hopeless best friend!
You
get your stupid best mate to sign the papers properly, missing
out one of the fields will not get them out of the way
soon!
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To: Harry Potter Robert Fine Rachael
Mate, just so you
know Rachael's on the prowl looking for you, so I'd hide quickly
if I were you.
So, anyway how was the big
'D'?
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To: Robert Fine Harry Potter Re: Rachael
Rachael? What
does she want? I've already signed the bloody things, why can't
she just hurry up and submit them? God how hard would that be?
The
big 'D'? Have you been sniffing glue
again?
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To: Harry Potter Robert Fine Again?
Again? It's nice to
know how little you think of me. She can't submit them because you
didn't sign one of the fields or something, you idiot! I thought
you wanted to get them out of the way but obviously you don't, have
you got something to tell me?
You know, the big 'D',
date.
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To: Robert Fine Harry Potter Re: Again?
Yeah I've got
to tell you, that you are the possibly the most stupidest person I
have ever met.
Why would you call a date the 'big
D'?
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To:
Harry Potter Robert Fine
you say I'm stupid.
It's the big 'D' because it's the first date. You know, the
one were you decide what sort of material the woman
is.
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To: Robert Fine Harry Potter WTF?
Material? Like denim?
Am I missing something
here?
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To: Harry Potter Robert Fine Material
Material as in,
dating material or they'll-be-okay-to-sleep-with material. Don't
tell me you don't understand what I'm talking about, I know you
think the same
thing.
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To: Robert Fine Harry Potter Really?
Do I now?
The
date was good, but in so good. It was going great but then I got an
owl saying Remus' condition had got incredibly worse, he was close
to death! You know when your sister, Mary, got hit by a curse and
went into a coma? I felt as bad as you did. In fact I still do.
Anyway, after a long time, (what is up with waiting at hospitals,
they take forever just to give you a scrap of information!) Remus was
cleared 'okay' and we decided to go another date. That's
another weird thing, Ginny actually stayed with me in the hospital
until we knew Remus was going to be okay. Wonder why she did that? I
was glad she did, but I didn't expect her to. Must be a female
thing.
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To: Harry Potter Robert Fine Yes
Mate, you really need to
learn about women. This is me talking, the killer of romance, I'm
completely stupid when it comes to them, but even I know that if she
didn't like you she wouldn't have waited with you.
Sheesh,
and they say you're the clever one. You must be slipping potions to
the people who think that, to make them delusional.
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley Come on
Can you at least
tell me what I've done? That way I can put it right. Come on Gin,
think of all the times I've helped
you.
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To: Ron(ALD) Weasley Ginny Weasley Help? Yeah, right!
Like
when you 'helped' me by turning my hair green? It took 6
days for my hair to even start to turn back. I had to walk about
Hogwarts with practically a paper bag over my head. Great for my
confidence I can tell you.
Well I suppose you had better know, so
you can grovel. Don't even think about not, or you'll wake up one
day realising you'll no longer need to use the cold dial on the
shower. But, I'm not going to make it easy for you, you hurt
Hermione so much, you know that don't you? So, all I'm going to
say is, think back to Friday night. Can you think back to that dark,
distant memory in your small brain? I sure hope you can, because if
you and Hermione haven't made up soon, say goodbye to 'Mr.Big'
(Hermione's words, when she was feeling more sociable towards you,
I don't even want to try to guess what that
means!)
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To: Ginny Weasley Abby Smith Adam
Ginny, darling, just a
quick message to say Thank You. I must say when you first told me
about this strange man, Adam, I was rather shocked. A stalker? I
thought. Dear god, not another one.
I could just see an unclean,
filthy little man with fingerless gloves leering at me like a was a
prize from some common carnival. A rather unpleasant
thought.
Although, after meeting Adam, I must admit he is simply
scrumptious. I love the way he talks about muggles as if they're
real people, he's so funny.
Anyway darling, toodles. Got to go,
I have an Appointment at the new beauty spa in Hogsmeade.
Be sure
to get those nails
manicured.
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To: Abby Smith Ginny Weasley Re:Adam
Erm, Abby, I
never said he was a stalker, and muggles are real people. I've
never had a manicure in my life, why do think I'd start
now?
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To: Ginny Weasley Abby Smith LOL
Oh, darling, you are too
cute. I could just wrap you up in candyfloss.
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To: Abby Smith Ginny Weasley Re:LOL
Please. Don't.
Ever.
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To: Ginny Weasley DP Editor Hormones
What is it with
you women crying? It's the second time this week! And it's the
same person!
Can I not have my workforce ALL present at one
time? Is that too much to ask? Really, I don't think it is.
Get
Granger out from the toilets pronto and make sure she's at her
desk.
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To:
DP Editor Ginny Weasley
Subject: YOUR Hormones
I thought
we'd talked about this. Intake your caffeine before yelling
at us. At this rate your gonna need a coronary, either that or your
hair'll just fall out. Wanna be bald?
Anyway, never fear,
Hermione's back. And yes, that is a smile you see on her face.
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To: Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger Ron
Thank You for
talking to him.
He was so romantic. He really was. He apologised
profusely, how could I not forgive him? I really don't know why I
got in such a state, I mean it wasn't that bad, and now we're
closer than
ever.
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To: Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger Ron(ALD)
I'm really
glad you guys are back on track, but please, spare me the mental
images,
EWWWWW!
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A/N:
Please Read + Review!
Thanks!