Two weeks later:
"Okay… plenty of breast milk but if for some reason you run out just call me and we'll come home," Sam said nervously, wringing her hands, eyes not leaving her twins who were laying on the couch.
"And, uh they usually eat every three hours, but honestly EJ has been going through a spurt so he may be every two, even with the cereal. Joey usually only needs cereal before bed cause she sleeps better. A-and don't worry about a bath or anything unless you want to, and then just make sure you put their monitors on. You downloaded the app and logged in right?" She asked, eyes wide with nerves.
"Hey baby?" Liv said gently with a warm smile, putting her hands on her shoulders. "El and I are pros… we've got this, trust me," she winked.
"I know, I'm sorry I'm just…"
"First time leaving them, I get it… but, it's for less than 24 hours and you're just three blocks away. They'll be just fine. Relax and enjoy yourself… you so deserve it."
"Okay," she exhaled with a nod, brushing her fresh curls behind her ear.
"Ready?" Eli asked, coming ahead of his dad with a smile. The pair just switched cars and Eli insisted giving him a tutorial on their car seats.
He was dressed in a smart navy blue suit with a white shirt, darker blue tie, and a wool winter coat, and looked exactly like his dad.
"I have more hair," he said, holding his hands up and reading everyone's mind. Liv snorted and El smacked his arm playfully.
Sam chuckled softly, exhaling her unsureness and nodded. "I think so…"
"Well, you look beautiful," he smiled, admiring the little black dress, tights, and booties she was wearing as his hand rested on the small of her back.
"Thank you," she whispered, pecking his lips and turning back to Liv and the twins. "Okay… be good for Papa and Cap… oh I love you guys," she sighed, kissing their heads.
"Love you babies," Eli grinned, nuzzling their cheeks. "See you tomorrow afternoon."
"Big night tomorrow," Liv said nodding, referencing their impending dinner with Kathy. "Talk about it tonight, we can cancel anytime. Okay?"
"Okay mama," Eli nodded.
Elliot locked the door after they left and shot Liv a small smile.
Noah and Emma were at a birthday party and wouldn't be home later in the evening so Liv and El were planning on finally reading their letters from Kathy.
"I almost don't wanna," he said, sitting down on the couch after lifting the babies on his chest. "Feel like it's better left unsaid maybe?"
"Agreed," she sighed, collapsing beside him and looking at the twins sleeping twins. She got lost in how much her grandson looked like her boys, zoning out for a few moments and letting her mind wander to the first time she held Eli.
"You okay? You haven't been yourself."
El's voice roused her from her intense stare on their grandson and she looked up, noticing the concern on his face.
"Haven't been feeling myself," she admitted with a sigh. "Think I'm just… overwhelmed with everything and work and… Teddy starting daycare and Eli being an adult. Feel like Emma and Noah need me less and less everyday," her voice started to crack. "I've been like so emotional ya know… I just want time to freeze," she whispered with a small laugh.
"Oh babe… c'mere," he frowned, nodding his head towards himself.
She wiped her eyes and swung her legs over his lap, leaning against his shoulder and sighing softly.
He smiled small against the top of her head, and she felt it, looking up.
"What?"
"You know… you always used to put your legs over mine like this when you were pregnant with Ted…"
"What? No I didn't…"
"You did," he said with a smile. "You did. When you would complain about your back or whatever was hurting in the first trimester, you'd throw your legs over mine. I never said anything cause I didn't want you to stop doing it."
Leaning her head back, she thought about his statement for a moment, exhaled, and retook her place on his shoulder. "Huh… guess I did…"
They were silent for several minutes, content with watching their little man entertain himself on the floor with his new obsession: trucks.
"You haven't done it since," Elliot said, breaking the silence.
"Elliot," she scoffed with a half laugh.
"I'm just saying…"
"Mhm," she said, nuzzling his arm again.
"Hey…" he whispered.
"Hm…"
"You know nothing she could write in that letter would change a damn thing about you and me right?"
"I know," she said, voice thick again.
"I'm serious, Liv… hey… look at me."
She did, and he leaned over to peck her lips. "You're my everything. Always have been. I love you."
"I love you… and I know that I just… I'm feeling so much self doubt lately and it's frustrating me I guess," she frowned.
"Wish you wouldn't… but," he said, reaching an arm down to help Teddy up on the couch, all while still holding the twins, "you're allowed to not be strong all the time. Give it to me."
She watched his arm muscles flex as he pulled their little boy up and into her lap, effortlessly.
"I don't know why watching your hold our grandkids and lift our baby son like that was so attractive but if they weren't here I would be jumping you."
He laughed and Teddy giggled, too, settling himself into the small space between his parents. "Don't change the subject."
"Daddy is so funny I agree," she said, ignoring him and crinkling her nose to match their son's crinkled face.
"Oh man he looks just like you right now," El said, covering his heart over where Joey was laying.
"See? Mommy and Teddy are the best team cause we get daddy to forget what he was saying," she said cutely, lifting him into her lap.
"Oh no no, daddy didn't forget. Mommy will be talking to daddy laaaater."
She couldn't help but laugh and lay her head against him again as Teddy snuggled into her, reaching for her shirt.
"Oh boy… this is a hopeless endeavor I think," he whispered, kissing his nose but pulling herself free for him anyways and settling in to nurse.
"Maybe we should read them," El said after a few minutes. "I think we're both in our heads about this."
Still looking down at Teddy who had his eyes locked on his mommy, she gave a small smile. "Your daddy is the smartest man alive, you know that? And we're so, soooo lucky we get to call him ours."
El turned his head and presses a long kiss to her temple. "Love you, Stabler."
"Love you, more Stabler."
"Eli this is too much," Sam whispered, looking around the fancy Italian restaurant he'd booked them a reservation for.
"Sh," he said, kissing her temple as they were led back to their reserved seats. "You deserve every bit of it," he said, pulling out the chair for her.
"Good evening," their waiter said after they were seated. "Can I start you two off with some wine?"
"Oh we don't drink," Eli played off cooly, "but we'll take some waters and, babe what do you want for an appetizer?"
Sam smiled at him, nudging his leg under the table, and nodded. "The bruschetta looks amazing… can we start with that and some fried calamari?"
"Coming right up," the waiter nodded with a smile.
Sam looked back down to her menu before feeling his gaze and glancing up.
"Hi," she smiled shyly.
"Hi," he said, reaching across to hold her hand. "You look so beautiful tonight."
"Thank you," she blushed, looking down for a beat and then back up.
"I want you to stay at my place," she blurted out suddenly, looking up to him.
"Okay," he nodded with a dopey smile.
"But I-I want you to go back to school this semester you know? Cause I need to figure out how to do this by myself…"
He squeezed her hand and nodded slowly. "Whatever you need babe."
"A-and," she sucked in a deep breath. "When they turn one, I-I think we should go to part time cause you know… I don't want them to get used to you being there all the time you know? Cause then when you leave for school it'll be harder I think. At least that's what I've read online-" she was rambling now, and Eli smiled small, squeezing her hand to cut her off.
"Whatever you need, Sam. I meant that."
"You're not angry?" She whispered.
"Not at all. Just want you to be happy and comfortable."
"And when you go to college I wanna stop sleeping together," she said, squeezing her eyes shut.
"Okay," he nodded, gently caressing her hand with his thumb.
"But I want to tonight," she admitted nervously, making him laugh softly and stand to lean across the table. Grasping her chin, he kissed her slowly. "Samaroo, whatever you want okay?"
She nodded, kissing him back with pouty lips. "I know I'm just… I'm trying to be clear with my expectations for us and the babies…My therapist encouraged me to be…"
"Okay," he nodded, pecking her lips again and sitting back.
"And I… when you come home from college to see them I want… I don't wanna make you sleep on the couch but…"
"We'll get an air mattress."
"And I wanna date but I don't want to bring anyone home to meet the kids… and I hope you'll do the same if you end up not dating Harley."
"I promise," he pledged, seriously.
"And no overprotective bullshit either, Eli," she said, sucking in a deep breath.
He laughed loudly at that, and her cheeks blushed. "I'm serious!"
"I know! I know… I promise…" he said, still laughing.
"Why are you laughing??" She asked, finally relaxing a little and cracking a smile.
"You're cute when you're nervous," he winked and she breathed out a chuckle and nodded.
"A-and I want you… please can you come to the trial with me?" She asked softly. "Just on the days I have to testify…"
She was referring to her father's trial that had been postponed to the follow month.
"Sammi, I wouldn't miss it for the world."
"And will you promise you always remember, no matter what, how much I love you?" She asked, voice cracking finally.
Reaching his other hand across the table, he held her's with both of his and spun her promise ring very gently. "I promise."
"Thank you," she exhaled and nodded.
They let go of each other's hands when the waiter returned with their appetizers, and settled in to enjoy their meal.
By the time their dessert came, she was giving him a look. "Say it."
He smiled small. "I'm staying home this semester," he said, "but I'll get out of the house in the mornings for work outs and after school for practice so you can have alone time."
"I figured… but thanks for letting me get it all out, anyways," she said with a blush.
"I have a therapist too you know," he chuckled, leaning across the table to kiss her again. Her lips melded to his, this time through a relaxed smile, and she reached for his hand.
"Let's get the check, yeah?" She whispered.
Elliot and Olivia were both frustrated and relieved to find that their letters from Kathy offered no new explanation, just apologies, thank you's, and the request to talk in person when they both felt more comfortable.
Liv was queasy from the anticipation of it all, but was desperately trying to play it off when the kids got home.
She only picked at her dinner, and escaped quickly when everyone was done in order settle in to give the twins their bottles while Emma and Noah cleaned up and got their showers.
El eventually joined her, letting her have her moment of not wanting to talk, and silently helped finish their feed, put on their monitors, and get them into their sleep sacks.
"Let's have another baby," El poked quietly, once they'd put the twins to sleep in Eli's room.
They were in the doorway, watching them take shallow breaths like babies do in the middle of the pack-n-play, and were close enough for their kids to hear.
"Yes," Noah called from the couch, looking over his shoulder as Emma nodded in agreement and Liv laughed at her husband.
"Is the 30,000 dollar baby we have not enough for you??" Liv exclaimed.
Teddy giggled from where he was standing between his siblings and looking over the back of the couch.
He smiled and then pulled her into him, whispering in her ear. "We could try it naturally," he said, "you've been weaning and you know, you might just be more fertile."
"Elliot Stabler, you're a lunatic," she said with a nervous and rushed laugh, shaking her head and then pulling back.
He gave her a funny look and raised his brow, leaning in for a kiss before she pulled away and headed to the couch.
"Alright, come on little boy! We need to eat and then go to bed," she exclaimed cutely, lifting Teddy up.
"Say night night," she said with a smile, leaning him down for goodnight kisses from his big brother and sister.
"Dad will you hang with us?" Noah asked hopefully and Elliot grinned. "Course. Pick a movie and I'll be right back," he nodded, following Liv into the nursery.
"Hey," he said, grabbing her hips and spinning her and their baby into him. "You know I'm just teasing right? That I love you and this boy more than anything else? And I'm so thankful that we were blessed with him."
"I know," she said, laughing off her nerves and kissing him. "You just loved seeing me pregnant."
"It was so sexy," he whined playfully, putting a hand on her belly where she'd once carried both their little girl and their little boy. "I'd do anything to go back in time."
"No you wouldn't… we wouldn't have a Noah."
"No I wouldn't," he agreed, kissing her fiercely and squishing Teddy between them.
He squealed lightly and pushed his daddy away, pulling at Liv's shirt with a pout.
"Alright, you handle that I'm gonna go eat junk food with our kids," he said, kissing them both. "Night little man," he smiled.
"Dadadada," Teddy whispered, touching his face and then pulling gently at his vacation beard.
"That's right," he gasped. "My smart boy!"
"Gets it from his momma," Liv winked.
Eli and Sam had just checked into their hotel and were riding the elevator up when pictures of the twins came through from Elliot.
"Oh my.." Sam whispered with a soft laugh, scrolling through the photos as Eli looked over her shoulder, too, but refused to stop kissing and nipping at her neck.
"I miss them," she breathed out and he nodded, kissing a trail to behind her ear. "Me too…"
They pulled apart when the elevator doors opened on their floor, and he dragged her in long strides to their hotel room, opening the door and stepping aside so she could walk in.
"E, this is amazing," she gasped, walking into the hotel suite and looking around.
He set their bags down and shed his coat and suit jacket before coming up behind her and holding her waist. "You like it?"
"I love it, babe," she said, turning to face him with a smile.
"Happy birthday, my love…" he said, running his hand up her arm and cupping her cheek.
"18," she mused, "with two babies."
"18," he agreed, caressing her cheek with his thumb.
She blinked quickly and leaned forward, touching their lips together softly. "This time next year you'll be getting ready to head off to college for early acceptance and spring and summer conditioning.
"Not till March," he corrected, swiping his tongue across her lips. "Still will be thinking about you… loving you…"
"You'll be getting hot college girl pussy," she whispered, shaking her head and gasping when his hand that had weaved through her hair tightened its grip.
"Only pussy I want is yours," he said. "For the rest of my life."
Laughing half heartedly, she pressed their lips together in a heated and passionate kiss, squealing when his hands fell to grip her ass and lift her onto the nearest surface.
She moved close to the edge of the small kitchenette table, pulling her core flush with his impressive bulge.
Leaning back a bit, he looked down at her with a smirk before sinking to his knees and slipping under her dress.
Rolling her head back and sinking down on her arms, she breathed out a soft moan when he dragged her tights down and his lips touched the sensitive spots on the inner thighs. Traveling from there to her lace clad core, he spent a considerable amount of time teasing her, both over and under her panties.
She could feel herself dripping onto his tongue and the table, and was growing more and more desperate to be filled by him.
"E it's been months… please I need you," she begged softly, moving a hand to his head in effort to push him free from under her dress.
He took her hint, and standing back up, he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and lifted her again, this time bridal style.
Kissing her all the way to the bed, he stopped for a moment to focus on making sure she could taste herself on his tongue.
Her moan into his mouth triggered his setting her on the bed, where he knelt down again, this time to take off her booties and pull her tights down all the way.
"Stop teasing," she begged softly, but he ignored her and ran his hands up the inside of her legs, stopping at her panties and pulling them down slowly.
When he stood next, he sat her up and reached around to unzip her dress slowly, spending a considerable amount of time on her neck as he did.
Unable to wait much longer, she lifted her hands to his belt buckle, slowly pulling it open, and then his pants. Her movements stopped only when he lifted her dress above her head and tossed it aside, leaving her sitting in just a bra that matched her freshly discarded thong.
He subconsciously licked his lips, keeping his eyes focused on her's as he unclipped her bra and she shimmied it off.
Finally, letting his eyes drift to her large breasts and perky nipples, he breathed out a moan and pushed her to lay on her back, climbing over her. He took his time, examining and kissing ever stretch mark and piece of skin that wasn't as tight as it once was; tracing them with his tongue and sucking softly at each area.
"Putting two babies in you was the best thing I ever did," he whispered, looking up at her between the valley of her breasts.
She breathed out an insecure laugh, and covered her face, though only for a second before he was above her again and moving her hand.
"I'm serious… it made me fall in love with you even more, Sam… you're my soul mate."
"I never asked you what you want," she whispered, ignoring his comment and the ache her heart felt at his words.
"What I want?" he asked softly. "What do you think I want?"
She looked to the side a bit, and he sat up, straddling her belly as he shed his tie, shirt, and undershirt.
"I don't know," she finally admitted.
Sliding off of her, he kicked off his socks and shoes, and finally, dropped his last pieces of clothing.
Sitting up on her elbows, she bit her lip at the sight before her. Gone was the 16 year old she fell for… the young and scrawny boy who was unsure and unfocused.
Instead, before her was a man, with rippling muscles and a look of determination in his eyes. A man who knew what he wanted and was focused on the goal… a man who'd do anything for her and their babies.
A man that was sliding her to the edge of the bed and raising one of her legs above her shoulders as he teased her tight, tight entrance with the tip of his cock she swore had grown with his sudden maturity.
"I know what I want," he said, his voice finally breaking her thoughts and the head of his cock breaching her dripping entrance. "But I'll wait as long as I need to get it."
"Yeah?" She whispered breathlessly, grabbing hold of the arm and large hand that was wrapped around her waist.
"Uh huh," he nodded, inching himself in and allowing his face to fill with ecstasy.
"And what is that," she whispered, breathless.
"I wanna have it all… you, the kids, college… I wanna provide for you three and do whatever I can to make it happen."
He was pressed halfway into her, and dragged out very slowly in effort to dampen her labia even more.
"I wanna ask you to marry me," he said, inching himself into her again and spreading her legs a little wider to accommodate himself. "I wanna watch our boy walk you down the aisle. I wanna take you away to an island honeymoon, cause you deserve it," he grunted softly, bottoming out completely in her, his cock twitching at the high pitched gasp she cried out.
"I wanna take you back to our little apartment, cause you love it there, until I'm done with law school at least, and then I wanna buy you your dream home."
He was moving now, slow and steady, and he raised the volume of his voice ever so slightly, just to be loud enough to talk over her cries of pleasure.
Dropping his free hand to her clit, he circled it in tight and fast movements, speeding up when he saw the change in her face.
"And on graduation night? When I finish law school, I'm gonna take you home, Sam, and I'm gonna fuck another baby into you."
At his words, she clenched down around him and her back arched as an orgasm tore through her.
"You like that idea?" He mumbled, moving his hand to her belly and pressing lightly to keep her flush to the bed through her orgasm. "Like the idea of having another one of my babies?"
"Yes!" She mewled, head thrashing back and forth. "Yes E… yes baby…"
"Good," he grunted, sliding his hand back down from her belly to circle her clit quickly again.
"Baby, baby, baby, baby," she gasped, her hands flying to his that had put intense pressure on her sensitive bundle.
"One more," he panted, moving in tighter circles as her back arched and she screamed his name. "No one is ever gonna compare to this… to what we have and how we feel when we're together. You can date and sleep with whoever you want but no one will compare to us."
Her body went rigid, the tight coil within her bursting as her hand tightened around his wrist and she screamed his name.
Quickly pulling out, he kept pressure on her clit, prolonging the orgasm and using her slick to finish himself all over her belly.
Her whole body was convulsing, and he sunk between her legs to cover her quivering pussy with his mouth, slipping two fingers in and pulling them upwards, rubbing quickly and methodically.
"Eliiii," she screamed, her back arching and her hands flying to her head as he worked and worked the spot within her.
"Relax," he mumbled. "Let your body relax…"
"Gotta… Eli gotta st-stop…"
"Relax," he muttered again, pulling off of her clit with a pop and leaning back to watch her clench and convulse around him.
"Eli!!!!"
A steady stream of fluid hit his face and chest when he pulled his fingers out, and her long and loud moan of pleasure and shock filled the room.
He continued on for a few more moments, allowing a few more gushes to coat the bed and him, before he moved his hands to her hips and belly in effort to steady her as he gently licked her clean, kissing every available inch he could.
When he was finished, he dragged himself back up onto the bed watched with a breathless grin as she smiled lazily up at him; euphoric and satiated in a way he'd never seen from her.
Grabbing his discarded underwear, he wiped her clean and picked her up again. She wrapped her legs around his waist, kissing him languidly and giggling softly as he pulled down the covers and laid her down.
"This bed is incredible," she whispered, stretching her arms above her body.
Climbing over her, he collapsed beside her and moaned in approval. "Oh fuck yeah," he said, pulling her into him.
"I don't know what the hell that was by my god," she exhaled.
"Good?" He asked, nuzzling into her chest.
"More than…"
"Good," he smirked proudly, making a mental note to thank his brother for the drunken pointer.
She wrapped her slender arms around the broad expanse of his back, and placed soft kissed to his temple as she pulled lightly on his hair.
His breathing evened, and her's did too, and the room went silent before she whispered again. "You meant all that?"
Tilting his chin up, he kissed her lips several times. "Yes, baby…"
"Okay," she nodded, snuggling back into him and drifting off.
"What are you thinking?"
In the quiet of their room, Liv's voice was like a crash of thunder.
"Whatcha mean?" He asked quietly, rolling to face her.
"Your brain is rolling wild… can hear you."
Elliot couldn't help his quiet laugh as he moved himself flush with her.
"Thinking about a lot of things… like how I'm lucky you're mine… how I hope our son is using a condom tonight… how Teddy is our last baby…"
She couldn't help but chuckle. "'S'not all…"
"Well…" he breathed. "No but…"
His thoughts trailed off, leaving them in silence for a bit longer before she gently pushed him onto his back and sank a knee on either side of his body.
"Hi," he said, a little shocked.
"Hi…" she whispered, leaning down to kiss him a few times. "I love you. Wouldn't have our life any other way."
"I know…"
His voice was soft and he stared intently at her belly as he traced soft circles on her hands he held.
"It's okay… to wish that we got here different. To wish that Kathy hadn't done what she did for the sake of our kids cause… I wish it, too, El. The pain she's caused them is unbearable," she said softly.
In response, his eyes filled with tears and he began sobbing quietly, sitting up with her help to collapse into her chest.
"I don't think at all that that means you don't want me or the kids… I know it means you wish that you were able to make it easier for them. And a parent that would sacrifice even a bit of their happiness for their children is the best kind. Elliot, you're the best kind."
He gripped at her shirt as his muffled cries filled the room, and she held him tightly, caressing his head and slowly calming him down.
"Tomorrow changes nothing… tomorrow is for Eli. You're still my best friend and my husband and we'll be kind and cordial.. okay?"
He nodded slowly, sucking in a few stuttered breaths and pulling her impossibly closer to him.
When he was calm and limp in her arms, she gently lay him back, snaking down his body to the waistband of his briefs.
"Just relax… okay?" She whispered, dragging them down slowly.
Cupping her cheek with one hand, he nodded slowly and watched her envelope him in her mouth.
"Liv," he whispered, involuntarily bucking his hips as she took him down her throat with ease and hurriedness.
She looked up at him from where her nose was touching his pelvis, her stare burning through him with a fire and desire he hadn't seen in quite some time.
Not since she was pregnant with their son.
Rolling his head back, he moaned through a knowing smile and moved his hands to the back of her head, enjoying the sensation.
Sam and Eli alternated waking one another up to make love, before they both woke at the same time around 6.
Their quiet breathing matched and filled the room as they enjoyed the silence and dozed off here and there.
It was just about 7 when he finally spoke. "I miss them."
"God me too," she laughed, burying her head in his chest and making him grin.
"I think you should let me make love to you again, and then I think we should go get them and go to breakfast as a family.
"Kinda craving your pancakes," she giggled, looking up at him.
"Pancakes at home it is," he smiled, pecking her nose and rolling on top of her.
"Why you back so early," Noah groaned when Eli and Sam walked in.
"Good to see you too," Eli laughed, ruffling his hair and stealing EJ from him.
"Hi son… oh man, daddy missed you," he said, patting his back gently and rocking with him a little.
Liv emerged from Eli's room with Joey. "Look who it is! Mama and daddy are home," she cooed softly, passing the little girl over to her mama who sighed happily once she had her daughter back in her arms.
"Ah to be young, fresh parents again," El said, as he emerged with a laughing Teddy over his shoulder.
"We missed them," Eli laughed, wrapping his arm around Emma when she came out from her room.
"I know! That's what I'm saying. I don't miss any of you," he teased and Noah cracked up. "Daaaady."
"I'm teasing," he said, handing Teddy to him and kissing his head. "What are you two getting into today?" He asked.
"Just gonna spend the day together," Eli smiled.
"Go through and box up their newborn clothes," Sam pouted playfully and Liv laughed, covering her heart.
"Oh that hurts," El teased, kissing each twin's head.
"You still wanna do dinner with Kathy tonight, right?" Liv asked, hugging her son's middle.
"Sure thing," he nodded with a smile, kissing his mom's head. "We'll be over 'round 5… but right now I'm gonna get these three home and make some breakfast. Thanks for watching them guys," he smiled and nodded.
"You two seem much more relaxed," she nodded. "Any time okay? One baby is hard enough, let alone two."
"Ain't that the truth. I'm exhausted!" Noah said making Emma snort.
"He's just as dramatic as Dickie," she lamented.