Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nothing at all. Not even the song words.

"London calling to the faraway towns
Now war is declared, and battle come down
London calling to the underworld
Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls
London calling, now don't look to us"
-The Clash- London Calling-
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To: Molly Weasley
From: Ginny Weasley Your Birthday.

Hey Mum,

A little birdy told me your 70 today,
So I shot the little buggar,
Before he could fly away.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Remember; We all love you!

I'll be round on Friday at 6.

P.S. Try and make sure your out of the house for a couple of hours!
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley Mum's Birthday.

What've you got Mum for her birthday? I don't know what to get her. What does she like?
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To: Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley Re:Mum's Birthday.

It's her party on Friday, you better get her something before then! Anyway, you've only known Mum for your entire life! How can you not know what she likes? Stupid men.
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley Re:Re:Mum's Birthday.

It's quite easy really. Oh, and I resent that comment about men.
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To: Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley Karaoke!

Oh shut up. Oh, and I'm glad that you and Hermione are back on track, although, I must say, I was looking forward to making your life hell for a bit. Ah well, there's always next time! I won't get my hopes down just yet!
Listen, I was wondering, what do you say we do a muggle themed party for mum? Dad would love it as well. I know, we could have a Karaoke machine! I've heard about them from Hermione. Apparently the words to a song show up on some sort of screen and you sing along with them into something called a Mircophone, only your voice is magnified so everyone can hear you sing! Sounds good eh? Although, no offence, but I think it'd be best if you sat that out, remember I've heard you in the shower!
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley My WONDERFUL singing!

You trying to say I can't sing?
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To: Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley Your AWFUL singing!

Why yes, I think I am.
Listen, do you know if I could bring a date to mum's party? Do you think she'd mind, after all, it is her party.
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To: Ginny Weasley Ron Weasley WHAT?

WHAT? I thought you were going out with that Creevey guy, you're not going to bring him are you?. You know, that annoying kid with the camera. God I'd like to steal the film thingy out of the thing. Bloody muggle inventions.
Are you kidding? It'd make mum's day to fuss over your date (and you of course!) you know how she likes doing that. That could your present to her and you could give me the one you've got for her.
Great idea huh?
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To: Ron Weasley Ginny Weasley Three words of wisdom.

Three words. Not. Gonna. Happen. Go buy your own present, you lazy sod.
No, I split up with Colin ages ago. Your right, (for once- hee) that camera of his is extremely annoying, especially when he insists on taking photos 18 times a day, but hey, who's counting?
Well I've met this guy, long story - ask 'Mione. I was thinking about asking him to come. I'm sure mum would love him, although that might be an incentive not to bring him. Hmm, I'll have to think about it.
Do you know if Ruby's going to be there, you know, Charlie's wife? I haven't seen her in ages. I need all the goss.
Well got to get back to work. I'm sure Henry will hyperventilate otherwise (and we wouldn't want that, would we? wink).
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To: Robert Fine Harry Potter Tut, Tut!

Making people delusional? How could you think that of me? sobs
Well, I'm gonna see if she wants to go on another date, hopefully she will. Oh, and it's nearly official. After 3 years! I'm almost a free man. Think of all those wild nights I can now enjoy! Although, I must say, after a year of one-night stands I'd like a relationship that lasts longer than 24 hours.
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To: Harry Potter Robert Fine Wild Nights?
What do you mean those 'wild nights you can enjoy?' you've done that with nearly all your relationships, except the obvious, of course.
Yeah, believe me mate, one night stands are okay, but once your in a proper relationship you won't want to get out of it. Believe me. Don't take the piss out of me 'cos I can admit it, it's true.
So, you ready for the next mission? It starts in about 5 days, doesn't it? Tell you I'll be glad when all those god damned dark wizards get thrown into Azkaban, let them rot there is what I say.
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To: Harry Potter Ginny Weasley Hey!

Hey, Harry.
It's me. Ginny. Listen you know you said we should go on another date? Well I've got the perfect opportunity. If you don't want to then that's fine, don't feel you have to.
Just mail me back. On second thoughts mail me back whatever your answer.
Well then, maybe I'll be seeing you?
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To: Ginny Weasley Harry Potter Re: Hey!

You sure will.
Whoa, you must be physic or something, 'cos I thinking about asking you to go on another date with me.
What do you have in mind? Hopefully no embarrassingly degrading date ideas though? Please nothing that involves cooking, I'm afraid I'd fail miserably if that was some sort of test.
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To: Harry Potter Ginny Weasley Test?

Test? Why would I test you?
Well, I was thinking, maybe you'd want to go to my mum's birthday party with me?
It'd be nothing serious, it's not like I'd be telling everyone we were in fully committed relationship or anything.
I just thought it might be a nice idea. You don't have to.
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To: Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley Why?
Attachment: MY GOD. Hermione I've just broken the Number #1 rule when dealing with guys. Seriously, why did I do it? Why?
You know my mum's (your soon to be Mother In Law's) birthday is today, and her 'surprise' party is on Friday? Well I invited Harry to come as my date.
God, now I think about it, I sounded so desperate and hopeful. He's gonna think I'm a complete clingy, can't-get-no-boyfriend idiot.
Remember what I was like with that guy from Publishing? Well this was worse.
I've sent you the message I sent him, do you I sounded clingy?

God, I can't believe I'm worrying about this. What happened to the calm and collected Ginny? Where is she gone? Why did she desert me?
I should really stop worrying. I'm sure your getting tired of my ramblings by now. I'll just shut up.
I mean if he liked me, he wouldn't care, right? Okay, sorry I'm talking (well writing) and I said I wouldn't. My mouth is now zipped. No words can be uttered from them. Nada.
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To: Ginny Weasley Harry Potter Breathe.

Ginny, calm down.
I've read the message you sent him.
You DO NOT sound either, a) Desperate or b) Clingy.
Calm down okay? I know you to well to hope your breathing will be normal by now.
I think it's a lovely idea for you to invite Harry to your mum's birthday party. You'll be able to get to know each other whilst you're in an environment you feel comfortable in.
Please don't get upset about this. I think your hormones are out of control again, or, I suppose, you might have drank to much caffeine again.

Oh, and I'm not getting tired of your ramblings, they're quite funny.
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To: Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley Really?

Glad to be of service.
Really? You think so?
God I am such an idiot. Why was I getting so worked up? What was the need? There wasn't one.
I deserve to be labelled 'clingy' when I act like this.

Anyway, onto happier subjects;
You and Ron getting along nicely?

Oh, did I tell you, Abby sent me a message about Adam. It was rather funny, well her complete obliviousness was. According to her, muggles aren't real. Her ignorance never ceases to amaze me. Even prejudice pure-bloods acknowledge muggles are real. I'm not sure if she meant it in a jokey way, if she did, she's not very good at telling jokes 'cos it wasn't funny.
Ah well, maybe Adam'll knock some sense into her.
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To: Ginny Weasley Harry Potter Tests

Well, some women like to test a man, you know how it is.
Yeah, going over to your mum's sounds like fun. Don't worry, I didn't expect you to tell people we were in a fully committed relationship. After all, that would be lying and, as everyone knows, lying is very wrong. Very wrong indeed.
So, shall I pick you up or do you want to come over to mine?
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To: Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger Abby

I can't believe Abby said something like that. Well, actually I can, but really. Of course muggles are real, otherwise I wouldn't be here.
I'm sure I've told her I was muggle-born.
Why did she say that?
Honestly, some of the magical community's blatant refusal to accept muggles in their culture, upsets me. Muggles may not be magical but their still human and deserve all the rights the magical community has. Especially the right not to be discriminated against.

Let's hope Adam helps her to understand about muggles.
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To: Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley Re: Abby

I'm sure he will. I know, magical culture needs to accept that we need muggles. More than we'll ever admit.

Sorry to get off the subject, but I'd just like to say that Harry said yes he'd come with me to my mum's party.

Okay, we can go back to muggles and magic folk. Sorry about that.
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To: Harry Potter Ginny Weasley

I think it'd be best if you came round to mine, so I can tell you were to go. Otherwise you might get a bit lost.
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To: Ginny Weasley Hermione Granger Molly's Party!

Well, I am still in shock.
I don't think I'll ever be able to look at your parents the same way again. You Weasley's sure know how to have a party. Think of all the mess!
Who knew a simple birthday party could cause so much chaos? I didn't.
Also, I'm glad you persuaded Ron not to sing before we got there, thank you for that. I love him, but listening to him try and hit the high notes is not good fun for my ear drums.
So, did anything happen between you and Harry? I only saw you at the start of the party, from then you seemed to have disappeared.
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To: Hermione Granger Ginny Weasley Call her mum's party.

Yeah, there was A LOT of mess!
OMG! that was the most embarrassing day off my entire life. Seriously, I wish I was joking.
Why does your soon-to-be husband have to be so damn embarrassing? Does he hate me or something? What did I ever do to him? I swear, the next time I see him he is dead. Dead, I tell you, DEAD!
Was there really any need to do that to me? I think not. He's teased me my whole life, isn't that enough punishment?
Oh I am so not amused. I'll be amazed if Harry ever talks to me with that little display.
Was there really any need to charm a gnome to run around me and Harry humming the Wedding March, pour confetti all over us every god damn second of day, wrestle Harry to the floor three times and then, as if that wasn't enough, whisper about us behind our backs for most of the night while giving us funny looks, like we didn't notice! (Oh, and your efforts at getting us to sing 'Lady In Red', on that stupid Karaoke machine didn't go unnoticed.)

I think I have the right to be slightly angry, don't you?

I think it was a set up. It must have been. I am so going to kicking some Weasley butt!
Wait a minute, you're not in on this are you? You better bloody not be.
See what they've done to me? What they've reduced me to? A quivering mass of paranoid nerves, that's what I am now.

AND IT'S ALL THEIR FAULT!

They can run, they can hide, but they'll come out eventually (probably to get some food) and when they do, oh I'll be waiting. Waiting to hex them so bad they won't know what's hit them.
You mark my paranoid words. I will.
(Mwwwaaahhhaaaa