Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Chapter 16 – Visitors

James walked into the dorms and hurriedly bounded to his room as he heard Lily's door click open. He was in no mood to deal with an overly happy girl who, in all probability, would be cursing him into oblivion if she knew what happened. What he had let happen. He shut the door just as the other one opened, Lily's head sticking out.

Lily shrugged, but just as she was about to close the door knocking was heard outside. Frantic knocking. Lily bounded down the stairs and opened the door to see Remus and Sirius outside. Both stared at her as if surprised she'd be in her dorm. The feeling of blissful happiness had slightly lifted as she frowned at them. "Yes?" she asked.

"We need to see James," Remus said, panting to catch his breath.

"Send them away, Evans," James called from the top of the steps. "No visitors allowed, remember?"

"They seem to be distraught."

James gripped the railing tighter, his knuckles turning white with the pressure. "They're just my stupid friends! I will not talk to them!" he yelled and went back in his room.

Lily turned back to the two boys, frowning slightly while looking at the ceiling. She shrugged off the frown and said, "Has anyone been seriously hurt?"

Remus and Sirius looked at each other and decided on the complete opposite course of action. Sirius shook his head hurriedly and Remus nodded. Lily raised her eyebrows.

"Want to try that again?" she asked, a small smile donning her lips.

"Well, I was just nodding to his shaking," Remus explained and pointed at a point ten feet behind Sirius. Lily smiled even more, shook her head and closed the door on them. Both boys leaned against the door and calmed down their breathing.

"What did you think?" Remus asked. Sirius stared down the hallway.

"About what?"

"About what James said. What if Peter isn't completely loyal? He doesn't exactly have much backbone."

Sirius closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, a rather grown up move from the guy who's always smiling. He sighed. "I hope he is, Moony. I hope he has just enough sense to never do anything like that. James would kill him if he ever admits to it."

"I think we all agree James overreacted a bit. Personally, I think it's had a very deep effect on him."

Sirius got up and extended his hand to Remus. "Come on. We have to have a chat with Wormtail."

Remus took the offered hand and got up, leading the way to the Gryffindor Common Room. As they entered, it became apparent that Peter wasn't in there. They moved across to the Head's dorm entrance and knocked again. Lily answered, her hair half out of her bun.

"Look, if you want to just talk, there's no need to give the impression of a real disaster," she said irritably. Their hurried knocks had driven her from the top of her stairs.

"Good afternoon, Evans. Not so cheery anymore, I see," Sirius observed as he pushed his way in past her. She frowned as Remus entered as well, nodding to her. Sirius turned in the middle of the room. "Which one is James's room?"

"You know, Black, I don't think that this is allowed based on the rules Dumbledore set."

Sirius looked at her. "You saw what he was like! I need to talk to him."

"Take a seat. You too, Remus. I'll go up to see what he wants, shall I?" Lily said and went up the stairs. She knocked on the door just as James opened it a fraction of an inch, his body leaning against the door and not showing his face.

"What is it, Evans?" he said as nicely as he could.

"Look, I know you're not in the greatest of moods, but there's people here to see you."

"Is this one of the things I have to do because you told me to?"

Lily sighed. "Look, I had a weird morning. Just forget the whole prize thing, okay? Those essays are bearing down on me. I've completely forgotten half the after effects of the imperious curse and I forgot which year we learned it in and I have no clue as to how to start my herbology one."

James tensed at the mention of the unforgivable. "Fine, I'll come down there."

Lily turned around and went back down, going to the library as she took her hair out of her bun. She ran her fingers through all of the Defense Against the Dark Arts books, in the hope of finding something that would spark her memory. Just as she took out a book, James came down and sat next to Sirius.

"Well?" James said, looking from one friend to the other. "What's this about?"

"I think you scared Peter, James," Remus whispered. "I don't know what happened, but he didn't deserve those accusations."

"You're right, Moony…you don't know what happened. If you did, you'd be yelling at Wormtail too."

"Then tell me what happened."

James glanced at Lily as she skimmed a page in a textbook. Remus looked at her and nodded.

"I see."

Sirius leaned forward in his seat. "Look, mate, I agree that Peter isn't exactly the strongest guy and doesn't stand up for himself or anything, but you didn't know what happened."

"I know what I saw Sirius. I saw a traitor."

Lily had sat down next to the window and was hurriedly writing down information onto a scrap piece of parchment. "Prongs, you have no way to prove that. You can't just accuse your friend as being disloyal and not have any proof. He's a marauder, mate. We wouldn't do that to each other."

"We wouldn't. I'm not so sure Peter understands the true meaning of this friendship."

"Look, I have had my doubts about him, but, honestly, could you see him do anything to jeopardize our health? The boy practically worships us, James. It just doesn't fit."

"He only hangs with us because we provide protection. Don't tell me you didn't notice that."

"Maybe that was his original intent, James, but I know he wouldn't do something like that. He's our friend. I understand you're upset, but that's no justification to the things you said to him. You made him cry, James."

"Maybe I scared him into calling it off with his new friends."

"James, if it is as you say, there's no way they're just going to let him just leave. It's a service of life with them."

"Good. Serves the little traitor right," James said indifferently. His friends stared at him in horror.

"James, whatever happened has clearly changed you. You're becoming sick, man. You need to find help. You need to confide in someone."

"You need to tell her," Sirius said, indicating Lily. She was still referencing the book and hadn't heard a word of the whispered conversation.

James's eyes traveled to her and her words rang through his ears. "James, please, help me!" "I've completely forgotten half the effects of the imperious curse…" He sprang out of his seat. "Right. You two, out. Now."

"James, mate," Sirius said, looking up at his friend.

"I have nothing to say to either of you. Not anymore. Do what you will. Just leave."

The two boys reluctantly got up and left, going back to the Common Room. James sat back down and put his head in his hands, rubbing his eyes. He glanced over at Lily. She had gotten up and had replaced the book and was looking at the others critically. He sighed. Maybe if he avoided the whole thing it would go away. Maybe everything would just go away. He sprang up and went to his room. He kicked open his trunk and started digging through it, sending books and clothes to litter his floor as had the ones that had come out of the dresser when he knocked it over. Wrapped in a shirt he found the bottle of firewhiskey that he had taken from his father's cabinet during the summer. He cracked open the seal and smelled it only for the second time in his life. The first was after Charlie had died and his father had given his a small glass to calm him down. He looked at it with disgust, knowing he'll end up a drunk like his father if he started now. However, instead of closing the bottle, he put his lips to it and turned it upside down, gulping up the liquid as it burned his throat. He put it on the table as he steadied himself by grabbing the edge of his bed. After a moment of dizziness, he smiled for the first time since last night. He dreamily put the cap back on the bottle, not wanting to lose the precious elixir.

"I think I fancy a chat with Evans," he declared happily, and, getting up and finding the door on his third try, carefully descended the stairs.