Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: I find it quite ironic how I have to do a report on posttraumatic stress and it ties in so well to the story. Anyway, I hope you continue reading, and I hope I can, for once, accurately put into words what I see in my mind. Happy Holidays, everyone! I hope everyone has a great time, because that's what the holidays are about! And good luck to everyone in everything and anything they set their mind to this coming year! Enjoy.

Chapter 17 – Lily-kins

James stumbled into the room and flopped onto the nearest seat. Lily raised her eyebrows at his from across the room. He smiled at her.

"Why, hello, Evans," James said happily. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Everything alright, Potter?" Lily asked, putting her essay on the table. Something wasn't right.

"Fine. Haven't been happier since school started. Well, maybe there were a couple of moments I was happier." James sprang up in his seat. "Like that time we kissed. Remember that, Evans?"

Lily froze for a second, but rolled her eyes and recovered. "Potter, are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, Lily-kins."

Lily dropped her pencil. Something about that name bothered her. The headache she had since after lunch had worsened. She frowned at the fact that she didn't remember any reason that name would bother her. However, James slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Mustn't say that, Lily-flower. Mustn't ever hear that again."

"Why?" Lily asked. James shook his head furiously.

"It's linked to…to that. That which I can't say. Better off forgetting about it, Lily-flower. Better off if you forget everything about it."

"Everything about what?" Lily asked, curious but scared. "What should I forget, James?"

James shook his head again, and then laughed. "They didn't do it, Lily-flower. It's okay, because Sirius stopped them. Sirius stopped everything. Padfoot to the rescue!" he screamed and jumped off the seat, only to fall back down laughing. "Only Snivellus will pay," James said, suddenly calming down. "But don't worry about it, Lily-flower. Don't worry your pretty little head about it."

"James, don't worry about what?"

James opened his mouth to speak but closed it and laughed again. "You know, this is great for happiness. Try some, Lily-flower!"

"Try some what? James, what's wrong?'

"Why, some firewhiskey, or course," James said, beaming at her. Lily's eyes widened.

"Potter, you're drunk?" Lily asked in disbelief. James's face suddenly looked very sober.

"No. Yes. Look, I took a little, okay? And it was just to get away from…that place."

"What place?" Lily asked, curious.

James sat down. "The place on the seventh floor, Lily-flower."

"What about the seventh floor?" Lily asked, remembering dimly that she had been there last night.

"The corridor down there with Lesterange and Snivellus. And you and your dress…and Snape taking it off…" James looked up hurriedly and ran into the bathroom at once. Not bothering to completely close the door he leaned over the toilet bowl and did what he had wanted to do since Lily's necklace dropped from Snape's hand last night.

Lily stood there, her eyes closed. She had a sudden vision of what it would have looked like and she cursed her vivid imagination. He couldn't have seen that, she would have remembered that. She certainly wouldn't have let Snape take it off of her without a fight. He must have imagined it. It must be a prank. I bet he's not even drunk. Lily got up as he came out of the bathroom, leaning on the door and looking like he just lost half his weight. Lily walked over to him and took his arm, gently guiding him to his room.

"Thanks, Lily-flower," James said, leaning his head on her.

"Just sleep it off, Potter. You'll be fine, I'm sure."

"You're so nice to me, Lily- flower. I'm surprised you still talk to me after what I've put you through. Of what has been done to you because of me."

Lily ignored him, determined to just get him to his room before he tells another one of his far-fetched stories. She entered the room and gently steered him to the bed. As he was sitting, however, he knocked his glass of water over, spilling it on Lily's robes. She frowned as she stood up and took off her robes, only to discover the water had enough time to seep to her sweater. She sighed as she hurriedly unbuttoned it, but was suddenly tackled to the ground by James.

"No!" James yelled, his head right above hers. "Keep it on, Lily! Don't help him! Don't kiss him!" he yelled frantically. He covered his eyes and rolled over, off of Lily. "Don't! Put your clothes back on! Resist the spell! You can resist that spell! Don't let the imperious curse get you. Don't let it get you," he said, tears rolling down his face now. He curled up in a ball. Lily looked at him, shocked.

"Let's get you to bed," she finally said, getting up and helping him back to his bed. He curled up there as he had on the floor and continued to shed tears, mumbling under his breath. Lily uncertainly left the room. She shakily descended the stairs as she thought about his words. Was it all just a prank? She couldn't be sure of that now. She didn't know what to be sure of.

Sitting down on the chair, she had left the door open to hear if anything happened. She now wished that she had closed it. He seemed to be asleep, but dreaming very vividly. He was screaming again, mumbling at times. Mostly there were small sobs. Lily moved her eyes around the room, desperate for something to distract her. She got up and went to the sofa, where she closed her eyes and leaned her head back, breathing in deeply. She saw the corridor James was talking about. Her eyebrows furrowed as her imagination showed flashes, as if retrieving from memory. She saw herself walk down the hall, smiling at her plan to get Potter off her back. Then she saw someone's arms shoot out from the corner as she turned it. She screamed as she tried to push away from her captor, but a wand flashed and the scream was silenced. A merciless laugh was heard as a door opened hastily and closed.

Lily shook her head furiously and sprang her eyes open. No matter how big of a lie Potter could make, she wouldn't fall for it. She didn't need more stress, more horrible thoughts or false memories. She was lucky not to get posttraumatic stress after her family died, according to her doctor. Petunia had sent her there as soon as she came back home. Lily frowned at the thought of that exam. He had sat in his chair and had asked questions, all the while smiling at her like an idiot as she told him her parents and brother were murdered. He was lucky to get out of the office the same color. She would risk expulsion if he had spent another minute with her. It was the nurse Lily liked, because she was the one Lily talked to. She was the one who helped her. Lily had been only mildly surprised to see her at the Leaky Cauldron the day before term started. She smiled and sat with her in Diagon Alley. She smiled again as she thought of how much that helped her.

James screamed in his room. Her eyes darted to his open door and then to the door leading to the Gryffindor Common Room. She shut her eyes as tears slowly welled up behind them. The same flashes as before played in her eyes to the background sobbing of James from upstairs. Something bothered her. Some weight in her heart had appeared from the moment James had called her "Lily-kins". Something happened when she heard him yell. Something in her had broken as she listened to him scream. Another bound of mumbling was heard. Lily wiped her eyes hurriedly with her hands and rubbed the tears on her robe. She breathed in, closed her eyes, and managed to calm herself down. She bounded for the door to the Gryffindor Common Room and burst in, happy to see Sirius, Remus, and Peter sitting around the fire. Before she could say anything James screamed again. Sirius's eyes widened as he sprang up. Remus watched as Lily's eyes involuntarily filled with tears. Peter's head had sprung up from his essay. Sirius didn't need an invitation to jump over the couch and run past Lily, put to James's room. Remus stood up and carefully led Lily back into the Heads' Dorm.

"He…he got drunk…" Lily mumbled as she wiped tears hurriedly away. "He got drunk and started screaming…started screaming awful things. Things that didn't happen. Things that couldn't have happened."

A smash was heard from upstairs. "Blast it, Sirius! Why do you have to do this?" James yelled at the top of his voice. Lily shrunk in the sofa. "Why can't you just leave me alone? Why can't people just leave me alone?"

"He kept saying stuff about the seventh floor," Lily said and winced as something else was broken upstairs. "He kept saying something happened last night. He said something awful happened."

Lily shrunk again as Sirius came out of the door, walking slowly backwards. "James, mate, quit it," he said quietly. Lily shut her eyes and ran inside the bathroom, closing the door. As she sank down against the wall, shaking and wondering why she was crying, James's hand was steady as it pointed his wand at his best friend's heart.