That's What Love is For
Kara comes to an important realization as she thinks about her relationship with Lee. Spoilers up to and including Resurrection Ship Part 2. Song is called 'That's What Love is For' and it's performed by Amy Grant.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
ooooooooooooo
Sometimes we make it harder than it is
We'll take a perfect night
And fill it up with words we don't mean, dark sides best unseen
And we wonder why we're feeling this way
ooooooooooooo
"No, you don't owe me anything. 'Cause I'm just a CAG, and you're just a pilot."
"Right."
"A pilot who can't keep her pants on."
Those words had cut like a knife - much deeper likely than he had intended them to. She and Lee often had words, many times unpleasant words, but they generally weren't the kind that were meant to wound. But wound they had, and Kara was reasonably certain Lee knew it.
Things had been horribly tense between them until she'd left for Caprica, but his response when she returned showed that he really wasn't hopelessly angry with her. Quite the opposite in fact.
ooooooooooooo
Sometimes I wonder if we really feel the same
Why we can be unkind
Questioning the strongest of hearts, that's when we must start
Believing in the one thing that has gotten us this far
ooooooooooooo
"I just want you to know I'm your friend Kara, I love you. If there's anything you want to talk about, anything you need to get off your chest ... I'm here for you."
There had been truth in those words. All of them. Maybe Lee hadn't realized he'd let the 'I love you' slip out, hence the reason he'd tried to justify it, but Kara knew. The kiss had said the same thing just hours earlier.
She was in turmoil. She'd suspected he had feelings for her - his look at the Colonial Day ball, and subsequent jealous fury over her 'encounter' with Baltar - but until today, she hadn't really been sure. Now she had proof. And she had no idea what to do about it. Did she love him?
oooooooooooooo
That's what love is for, to help us through it
That's what love is for, nothing else can do it
Melt our defences, bring us back to our senses
Give us strength to try once more, baby, that's what love is for
oooooooooooooo
Trapped on that moon, waiting to be rescued. Who had she been thinking of? Lee. All during her recovery period, who had been by her side? Lee. Who had saved her ass both in the sky and by taking the heat for her when she misbehaved? Lee.
Lee was the one who ran with her every morning, flew rotations with her daily, played cards with her most evenings (despite losing - cleaning him out was so much fun!). Lee was her friend, her wingmate, her ally ... what wasn't he to her?
Their fight after her night with Baltar was the first time he'd ever treated her with coldness and disdain ... and it had been one of the most painful things she'd ever endured. Second only to Zack's death.
ooooooooooooooo
Sometimes I see you, and you don't know I am there
And I'm washed away by emotions I hold deep down inside
Getting stronger with time
It's living through the fire and holding on we find
ooooooooooooooo
She saw him with different eyes now. She found herself watching him often, stealing glances while they worked together. Lee. Her Lee, that's how she'd started to think of him. Before, he'd been Lee - son of the commander, Lee - Apollo's alter ego, Lee - the uptight CAG. Now he was her Lee.
They were a team, Apollo and Starbuck, Lee and Kara. Kobol was a dangerous place, yet Kara had never felt so safe, knowing Lee had her back. She'd had to trust Helo and Anders on Caprica, and she had, but it wasn't the same. Lee would die to save her, there was no question about that. He loved her - it was plain to see now that she knew to look for it.
Did she love him? There was no way she could bear to live without him now - Caprica had shown her that. Her life and Lee's were inextricably bound - they needed each other.
oooooooooooooo
That's what love is for, to help us through it
That's what love is for, nothing else can do it
Melt our defences, bring us back to our senses
Give us strength to try once more, baby, that's what love is for
oooooooooooooo
She loved him, it was plain to see if you knew where to look. It scared her to death to know how close she'd come to losing him forever, but thankfully he'd been saved. At least his body had been saved. Now his soul needed saving, and she was the one who had to do it. They were soul-mates - two people who were so deeply bound it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began. His love had pulled her through when her soul had given up, now it was her turn to return the favour.
He was drowning - slipping away from her with every moment that passed, but she would not lose him. It didn't matter what the cost, he had to be saved.
oooooooooooooo
That's what love is for, to help us through it
That's what love is for, nothing else can do it
Round off the edges, talk us down from the ledges
Give us strength to try once more, baby, that's what love is for
oooooooooooooo
"I'm here for you Lee, don't give up. I'm here."
Fin