Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. All characters belong to a woman with a great imagination and determination, capable of creating this world that is the center of so many stories.

Sins of Angels: As usual, thanks to all reviewers! I do make an attempt as best I can to read the stories of my reviewers and basically anyone I know has read my story, but with parental controls and all, it can prove rather difficult. If you give me enough time I'll try my best to get to you, and I'm sorry I can't help what my parents let me see. Enjoy.

Chapter 24 – Aftermath

Days rolled by as James traveled by himself in the hallways. Lily avoided him as best she could, at most muttering "Hello," every now and then. Their nightly patrols were spent in complete silence except for their steps echoing down the hall. She would look to one side and he to the other, never sharing so much as a glance. But the Marauders were worse.

Sirius mumbled curses at him under his breath. More than once he had punched James and walked away without a word.

Peter, who had hitherto adorned James for six years, now avoided him and ran past if it ever seemed like they would come too close to each other.

Remus was, by far, the reason James hardly got any sleep. He didn't yell or fight, but instead he gave James pleading, puzzled looks from across the room and kept asking if there was any way he could help.

During Quidditch, Sirius had perfected "accidental" attacks to an exact art. James would frequently walk away with a black eye or a bloody lip, his Quidditch robes stained a deeper shade of red.

During the full moon, the grounds no longer echoed with the amusement of the four animals. It was silent. Sirius wasn't barking, Remus wasn't howling, and Peter's squeak was missing. Now, as James lay awake and stared out at the Whomping Willow with the full moon bathing the grounds in light, the silence was sickening. More than once, James had sprung up in his bed, thinking he had heard a bark. He knew it was only his imagination, but he still looked out the window every time.

A month and a half had passed since that disastrous first week of school. James had taken to going to the Room of Requirement frequently between classes and sitting down, mumbling to himself to calm down.

Then, on one not-so-special day, an owl landed in front of James. The letter it carried was stained with teardrops. James stiffened. His grip on the letter tightened as he looked out at the beautiful morning sunrise. Suddenly he felt a pain in his heart.

She loved mornings.

He got up and hurried past his old friends, who were reading a letter of their own, no doubt about the same thing. As he passed, Remus stood up and Sirius gave him a pitying look. They both called his name but all that did was quicken his pace. He managed to get to his dorm without anyone else stopping him. That was the other thing. People had begun to avoid him just because he and Sirius were having an argument.

He walked in and let his bag slide off his shoulder and hit the floor. He moved across the room as if in a dream and sat down in a chair, rereading his letter. His eyes filled with the all-too-familiar moisture of tears. He shut them, trying to use mind over matter and will them away.

The bathroom door opened and Lily was greeted by James, his face in his hands. She stopped. Something wasn't quite right.

Let her pass. Just, please, let her pass.

"Potter?" Lily said. James didn't move. "James?" Lily tried. Something was definitely wrong. "James, are you okay?"

James lifted his head. At the sight of Lily, he burst into tears. Lily moved closer and hugged him, letting him cry on her shoulder. Memories of that day over a month ago came flooding back, when he had cried because he couldn't protect her.

"She died," James mumbled. Lily tightened her hug. "She died. She left me and died…"

"Cassidy?" Lily asked, thinking something horrible has happened. James looked at her, his tears stopping to flow.

"No, Lily, not Cassidy. She's fine," James said with a look of disbelief in his eyes, like what Lily asked was extremely offending.

"Who, James?" Lily asked, concerned. James pushed her away.

"My mom, Evans. It was my mom," he said, getting up.

"James…" Lily started, making towards him.

"You hate me, Evans, remember?" James said coldly.

"James…I…"

"I don't need your pity!" James yelled. Lily stopped dead in her tracks. "I'm fine, Evans!"

"James, I know how you feel," Lily said, trying to help. James spoke again, quietly. His voice was cracking.

"Do you, Evans? Do you know what it's like to lose the only person you can talk to?"

"You have friends, James. If you'd only let them help. And yes, I do know! They were taken from me this summer!"

James scoffed. "Voldemort…hah! My mom died of a stroke! We can use magic all we want and make all these potions but we can't help a forty-five year old woman who didn't deserve to die!"

"No one deserves to die," Lily said quietly.

"If only the world worked like that, Evans. You know why she couldn't be saved? Because me father came home three hours late again and found her! She'd been there, on the floor, for two hours! My bastard father worked late again, and, ironically, that's what killed her."

"It's not your father's fault."

"Shut up, Evans!" James roared. Lily jumped at his anger. "Just shut up! You don't know anything about me. Evans!"

"I know you're torturing yourself, James! I know you think you're doing everyone a favor, but you're not!" Lily yelled back.

"Not doing them a favor, Evans? I'm saving their bloody lives! That's not doing them a favor?"

"You're hiding behind that and you know it!"

"I'm doing you all a favor! No one wants to be friends with a nutcase like me anyway!"

"If you really believe that, James, You don't know your friends that well at all!"

"I have to protect you, Lily!" James yelled, but this time out of despair. "No matter what."

Lily looked at him as realization dawned on her. "You never went out with Cassidy, did you?"

James hesitated only for a moment, but that's all the time Lily needed.

"You didn't. You thought it would help, didn't you?"

"Well, it did! You weren't attacked again, were you?"

"James, do you know how much that hurt me," Lily said sadly. "I love you, James. It took me six years to figure it out, but I did. You were there for me when I needed you the most and you helped me more than anyone else ever could. And right after I realized what I'm feeling, you said we couldn't be together. You never answered me either…do you love me, James?"

James came up to her and put his forehead against hers, staring into her emerald eyes. He put his hands on the side of her face lightly and she smiled. He realizes what he had to do.

"No," he said softly, taking all of his strength to do so. He hoped it was at least mildly convincing.

Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. James closed his and put his hands down at his side, trying to keep from blurting out the truth. He felt her move and he opened his eyes.

Lily looked at him, the threat of tears stopping. She took his hands lightly and kissed him.