Author's Note: This story is based around the yaoi manga "Wild Rock" by Kazusa Takashima. If you have not read this manga, I would not suggest reading this story as it won't make a lot of sense.
Anyway, there's no content in it but I made it a bit higher rating because it is based off a yaoi manga, and that means that it is about 2 men loving one another. Please enjoy.
Vows to the Moon by Ryochan
The sky paled as the sun went down, splashing things in warm reds and oranges, as clouds wisped slowly on towards their destinations, unheeded by the people who rested below them, celebrating a new, and hopefully bountiful, beginning.
As two snuck away to make vows much deeper than their marriage had already alotted, and others laughed and dined together, enjoying new company and the feel of the new future, a knowing look passed from one chief to the other, words spoken without being given voice.
They joked, 'We should have done this sooner', 'We're getting too old', laughing like the oldest of friends, laughing as if their clans hadn't been seperated this way for many years, and laughing as they had many years before when they had both chosen to ignore their status, when they had both learned love, and the pain of losing love.
Yes, perhaps they had gotten old, but they weren't going to repeat the mistakes their elders had forced on them, that's why they allowed their sons to marry one another, despite the fact that it was an unusual move; Because they knew the pain of parting from someone who resides in your heart.
"Your son reminds me of you, Selem." The lighter-haired chief spoke softly, words unheard to all but his companion. "Determined in his gestures, and unafraid to do as he sees fit."
Selem chuckled, brushing back a piece of black hair which had fallen into his eyes, and looked over to the other. "He's much stronger than me though, Yuni... He didn't care what I thought of him coming here; Would have given up everything just to be with your son."
A small smile passed Yuni's lips, muted and almost invisible in the dying light of the day. "You still regret it, Selem? Parting, I mean?"
Silence, and then the shift of clothing. Yuni watched the movement of the other man, his right hand moving to clasp gently at the left wrist, where the only remaining physical sign of their meeting rested.
"Yes, and no." For a moment, Selem's hair burned a dark ember red as the sun fully set and the fires around the camp caught it in their light, before falling to a gentle reddish-black color. "I'm proud to have Emba, and my wife was good to me... I don't think I'd want to give that up. Yet at the same time...
"I wonder which way my life would have gone if I had taken the other road." He slid his eyes over to look at the brown-haired man standing next to him, the man whose eyes had shifted once again to watch his face, and didn't turn their glance away as they once would have done when he was focused on. "So I both regret, and don't regret."
"Yes," Now Yuni's eyes fell away, for a moment looking to the ground, before glancing back up as the people of the Lakeside and Eastern Forest Clans passed around food and drink, and some of the women and men of the clans mixed, dancing merrily around the fires, even as the children played games of strength and might. "I understand that feeling well. I love both of my sons, but I also wonder what the other path would have held."
Again silence came between the two of them. Two sets of eyes looked over, watching as their other children, Yuni's son and Selem's daughter, chatted and laughed together, a small vibe passing gently between them, one that could not be mistaken.
Then the eyes shifted, watching the inter-mixing, the joy-making, and saw their sons who had snuck away before sundown return as if they had never been gone, sliding near their brother and sister, the darker of the two handing the other a small bowl of some sort of soup, and watching him with eyes that would never lose that love.
"At least," Hair now black in the night, but lined with streaks of moon-colored silver, Yuni's eyes couldn't fight back the sadness which overcame them, and which tore at his heart. "They won't have to repeat our pain."
Selem's lips parted as if to speak, then closed again. "Yes." He agreed simply.
Yes, their children would never feel the pain which had torn at them for a little over twenty years. Their children would never have to pretend that the things they felt were just a lie, the games of teenagers who had not grown up.
Their children would never be them.
He poked gently at the remaining fire, watching as the women cleared away the rest of the bowls and decorations they needed to, before retiring to bed.
"Goodnight, Chief," One of the women smiled at him, a gentle smile that was given mostly from a daughter to father, or a grand-daughter to grand-father. "Get some sleep."
He nodded softly. "Goodnight, Child. Rest well."
As she bowed and left for the warmth of her tent, he reached his hand over and grabbed a log, tossing it gently to the fire, and began again to poke at it, trying to bring it slightly more to life once again, before sighing.
"You're still the same, Yuni." Soft footfalls betrayed the person before he had even gotten near Yuni, and so he wasn't suprised in the least. "And different, too."
"I had to grow up, Selem." He shifted, letting the other sit beside him, and laid down his poker. "And so did you."
"True." Selem looked up. The moon had moved far to the west, betraying the time of the night to the men who sat below it. "Yet there are pieces of myself I don't think ever grew up, or changed. I'm sure you must feel the same way." Selem looked over, and if he had been expecting a response, he saw he wouldn't get one; Yuni's eyes had drifted to the moon as well. He let his return there, and for a while he unconciously traced the path of the moon and the stars, before returning his gaze to the man sitting beside him.
"Yuni, I wanted to say this earlier but I think it would have been a bad time," Now the eyes came up. How he had changed, Selem noted. Those eyes that couldn't easily meet his gaze before when they were young, now refused to move, to break contact with the set that stared into them. "The past is the past, the present the present, and the future the future. We remember our pasts, we watch as our presents unfold, and we wonder what our futures will send to us, hoping daily that it will be some small pleasure to fill our hearts and souls to over-flowing.
"I think we do that no matter what age we are." His voice lost some of it's power, and he again shifted his eyes to look at the moon. It was gentle and soft, it's cool silver rays shining down on them, even as a passing cloud gave it an almost blue ring.
How many times had the Moon witnessed scenes like this? Two people just sitting side by side, talking? How many times had it witnessed joy and sorrow, pain, fear, sadness, shame, regret, betrayal, all the emotions and scenes of humans that must have repeated themselves hundreds of thousands of times since the birth of man? Could it even remember? If man could live as long as the moon, would they still need to sit here like this?
"I think the past binds us." Selem's voice remained soft as he concentrated on the moon. "No matter what we do it always stares us in the face, and regrets will always pile up. But the future is unlimited, isn't it? With every action, ever word, we move towards our deaths, trying hard to grasp happiness while we're here, and trying not to let opportunities slip away..."
How was he to say it? It was strange. In the past, was it this hard for him to say what he meant? He had hardly ever hesitated before in his dealings with people, whether his father, son, daughter, or any of the people in his Clan. He had always thought through what was said, returned his answer, and stuck to it. He had never needed these endless, rambling words he had been speaking to make his point. So why now?
Selem wanted to finish what he was aiming for, but he couldn't seem to find his voice anymore. He only stared at the moon, a voice inside chanting what he had wanted to say over and over, another voice inside telling him to get on with it, and another telling him that he was a fool and shouldn't even be out here, should be in his tent, warm and in bed.
So the silence which passed, though brief, seemed unbearable to Selem, and he felt himself let out a deep breath of relief when Yuni spoke.
"Our opportunity never slipped away." Yuni's eyes had never left Selem's form, had watched the inner turmoil that had passed just moments before through the other's eyes, but now they fell to the fire. "We took the opportunity we had. We did everything we could at that moment in time. So there isn't anything to regret."
Grabbing a small shell-shaped bowl, Yuni poured it's contents onto the fire, extinguishing it. "Tomorrow is tomorrow. If things are meant to be, Selem, we will know."
He stood, the ruffle of fabric sounding like the wind. His eyes glanced down to find two darker ones staring at him, a look in them which spoke volumes; Hope and pain lay in those eyes. Hope that maybe something could come of the future. Pain that perhaps their time had long come and gone, and that the feelings which remained were only feelings, wisps of some far-away dream.
Gentle fingers, grown stronger with age, reached out to brush away black locks of hair from Selem's forehead, before being replaced by just the gentlest ghost of a kiss. And then both the gentle fingers and gentle lips moved away, leaving a tingling and burning feeling where they had been, and no real proof that it had really been a kiss and not some apparition come from the fire which had just died.
Yuni moved away, his steps quiet and loud at the same time.
Selem heard the steps, but refused to turn and watch; Somehow it would just be too painful.
The moon was slowly fading into the west, and the eastern sky had taken on a dark purplish-blue hue. Morning would be upon them shortly.
But Selem never looked to the east. Instead he looked to the west at the upside-down crescent of moon, and stretched out his left hand to it in beckoning. His voice was as weak and vaporous as the remaining of smoke from the extinguished fire.
"I can no longer pray to the sun with faith, and I look upon you with bitter-sweet memories, but I will turn my head to you both with love and faith again... If this night-come-morning won't be as the one twenty-some years ago..."
He left his hand out, upturned to beseech the moon's assistance, until the smallest ray of the sun hit the necklace he had long ago wrapped around his wrist in memory, before turning his hand downward, closing it gently into a fist as if trying to capture something which lay before him, and placed it to his heart, the same prayer he had just spoken to the moon resounding into his soul, before standing and moving to the tent he had been provided to sleep.
He ignored the sun and moon, which were now greeting one another and saying their good-nights. He had made his prayer, and would now let them do as they saw fit.
-END-
AN:Well this turned out quite a bit sadder than I had initially intended, and quite a bit more like the original story just set after the last volume of the main part. But I always did find the idea of lost and found love gorgeous, and I was trying to write a story in which Selem and Yuni pick up where they left off. Unfortuantely, as I started to write I realized that even though those emotions are still there, neither man would know how to deal with it at the present moment; After all, like Selem's eyes implied, were those remaining feelings truth, or just some fleeting feeling like coming out of a dream?
If I get the inspiration I may still write them picking up where they left off, but I don't know if that will happen. And if so, I wonder how these two will continue. Selem became so much calmer, and Yuni stronger, even in the book. Plus I know Selem's kind. He'd take pain deep inside, and have trouble with words related to it. Yuni seems wistful, but still like a child, too. If they were to continue, I wonder if the two of them could get past their regrets?
Well, who knows... If inspiration strikes, I'll write, otherwise I hope you enjoyed this. Sorry if it got long and boring in places!