CHAPTER 4: SHIZUBLAIR
Shizuke
"Keagan Gerald Aurelio-Ashworth," called our homeroom teacher, Mr. Ross.
"Sir, yes sir!" Kaji said with a cheerful salute from the leftmost side of the front row.
Our orange haired teacher fondly rolled his eyes Kaji's antics and indulged his student by saluting him back before he continued checking attendance.
"Blair Crawford."
"Here," said the red haired girl seated right in front of me.
"Blake Crawford," the teacher continued listing off names, but I was no longer paying attention.
I trained my eyes on her, watching her every move. She's taking out a piece of paper, and a pen. She asks Kaji, who she shares a desk with, if she can borrow his book which he happily lent her. She pushes a strand of her dark red hair back behind her ear. She takes a few notes from the book. She hums to herself as she procrastinated on today's homework. So I guess I can cross out 'using her looks to charm nerds into doing her homework for her' off her list of evil deeds.
At first glance, she seems like a normal albeit famous and ridiculously attractive girl. But I know better. She knows more than she's letting on.
The way she acted with the akuma just yesterday was suspicious. To her, it just seemed like a minor inconvenience when the akuma went after her. Like she had everything under control and that I was being a nuisance for saving her.
That just reignited my suspicions. It's done nothing but build up since the day she first came to school.
I warned my friends, partially because she could be a dangerous mastermind and I want my friends to be prepared, partially because Fuyu found my magazine clippings of Blair – which I am keeping PURELY for INVESTIGATIVE PURPOSES – and I wanted to clear out any misunderstandings.
"Fiona Kuznetsov," Mr. Ross called, bringing me out of my thoughts just before I was called.
Fuyu quietly raised her hand next to me.
"Shizuke Midorikawa."
"Present," I nodded at the teacher before looking back at the girl I was staring at.
The girl must've sensed that I was staring so intently at her earlier for she turned around at me with the most innocently clueless look in the world… before it shifted into a mischievous grin and winked at me.
I shuddered and looked away, folding my arms over my chest to keep the Miraculous away from her prying eyes. I find it disturbing that my 'maybe-mortal-enemy' seems to be interested in me. This has been going on for two weeks. Does she know? I hope not.
As tempting as it is to confront her, I have to follow the 'innocent until proven guilty' rule and do nothing for now. Especially since Tikki is warning me on the chance that I am wrong. If it turns out that she isn't Hawkmoth, then it's a good thing I listened to Tikki.
That still begs the question though…
Why is she after me?
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Blair
Okay, this classmate of mine is so amusing. And I've made it my life goal to get closer to him.
His name is Shizuke Midorikawa. He's the loud nerd with thick glasses, and weird bluish black hair sitting right behind me. He's also the school's self-appointed hall monitor, and totally looks the part with his neatly ironed button up shirt and sweater vest combo he likes to wear. He's actually fairly handsome if you don't mind his nerdy get up.
When we first met, well, he kinda hates me. I already apologized to him and his friends for our tactless first meeting after Blake told me off about it. Keagan and I are on much better terms, no hard feelings. But Shizuke and Fiona are still a little stingy about it. Especially Shizuke. Geez. It's been four months already! Lighten up!
He's staring at me again. Unlike most boys, it's not because I'm eye candy. Get this- He thinks I'M Hawkmoth! I crack up whenever I think about the irony! Okay, I'm only laughing about it NOW after I got over the absurdity of it. But that's not why I'm after him.
So, how do I know he thinks I'm Hawkmoth? Why am I even trying to befriend him?
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It happened two weeks ago after a lunch time attack from an akuma when I heard his crazy theory.
Ladybug was being more gung-ho than usual so we finished up the akuma in record time, and I am very grateful that I didn't have to skip lunch after all. I decided to eat a quick lunch at that bakery across the street from the akuma attack. That's when I spotted Shizuke with his usual band of friends.
This was odd coming from 'Mr. Perfect Attendance'. The bakery was a few blocks away from school. Surely Shizuke wouldn't go all the way out here to risk being late for class over a croissant. Which is why I did the only logical thing anyone would do: Spy on them.
I took a seat in a dark corner two tables away from them, my back turned on them. From what I can tell, Shizuke is seated facing away from me with Keagan and Fiona taking the two seats across from him. I plugged my earphones into my ears so I can pretend to be listening to music and not eavesdropping on them. I can still hear them clearly thanks to my enhanced hearing.
"So you think Blair could be Hawkmoth?" Keagan asked incredulously.
Whuuut.
"It's just a theory, but I think it's plausible. Think about it. Blair was absent on the first day…" he faltered a little at the mention of that horrible day. Those three are still shaken up about that. "Then in the evening, Hawkmoth made her appearance. And the morning after, Blair finally made it to school. Then in the afternoon, just a few minutes before the heroes made their announcement at City Square, I heard Blair say 'I've got a speech to crash'. Guess what happened next? Hawkmoth crashed the heroes' speech! If Hawkmoth had to be someone in our class, I think it would be Blair."
"That does make sense," Fiona agreed.
Whut whut.
Okay, I'll admit that that was a freaky coincidence. Technically, Chat Noire crashed the speech too but everyone just assumed she was in on it from the start. Ladybug just planned the speech without me, and I decided to join him at the last minute. It's not my fault Hawkmoth had the same idea.
But more importantly, is the Miraculous' glamour THAT strong for them not to notice anything off about that theory?! I mean, I get that it must be strong in my case since my civilian face is plastered all over the city. I even grilled Plagg about it. While the glamour does filter people's perceptions about a Miraculous wielder's secret identity, it does nothing to hide the wielder's transformed appearance. Shizuke. Fiona. Open your eyes. I look NOTHING like a middle aged woman!
"Shizu, the whole 'I've got a speech to crash' thing could just be one big coincidence. She could've just decided at the last minute to watch Ladybug's announcement and has been somewhere in City Square, completely ignored in the crowd because everyone else was too busy looking at the heroes and the swarm of creepy butterflies Hawkmoth sent. And do you need to get your glasses checked? I saw Hawkmoth with my own eyes!" Keagan growled the villainess's name. "I'm pretty sure she's too old to be Blair. Her 'Office-Lady-From-Hell' aesthetic doesn't fit Blair's style either."
Finally! Someone who gets it! Hawkmoth shouldn't be compared to me at all!
"But what if the Miraculous changed her appearance for anonymity? What if it's the glamour playing tricks with our eyes?" Shizuke defended.
Blair, stay strong. Don't smash your beautiful face into the table. You still need your face for work.
"Hmm… Maybe I should add that to the things I should ask the heroic duo the next time I interview them," Keagan's voice drifted off and I can hear him typing on his phone.
Shizuke, for a few seconds, seemed to have given up arguing.
"Kaji, I am saying this as a concerned friend. You are way too obsessed with the heroes," Fiona warned.
Shizuke choked on his drink.
"Jealous?" I can practically imagine Keagan wiggling his eye brows suggestively as he leaned closer to Fiona.
"No," Fiona shot back. "I'm just saying that your spandex fetish is getting out of hand."
"They are kinda hot."
I heard more choking noises from Shizuke. What a pure cinnamon roll.
"Don't worry, Shizu. I'm not after either of them. I ship them too and I am not about to break my best bud's OTP," Keagan comforted.
Shizuke sighed, sounding honestly relieved.
Ugh… LadyNoire shippers. Why are you everywhere?!
"What else made you suspect Blair?" asked Fiona, dragging them back to their original topic.
Shizuke took this moment to compose himself before continuing his lecture of 'why Blair is probably Hawkmoth'.
"There's also the fact that she seems to know a lot about Hawkmoth's powers before the heroes made their public speech. She knew about Hawkmoth's ability to create monsters, to… to control free will."
"Coincidence," Keagan stated after a brief pause, sounding composed but detached. "Years ago, there was a vigilante who has the ability to temporarily turn people into superheroes. Aunt Vera used to work for the man in charge of investigating the vigilantes spotted around the city at that time. And do you know who Aunt Vera's boss was? Blair's father, Inspector Crawford."
My heart sunk at the name. It's been years since my parents died…
"I'm sure you can imagine the many ways Blair could've learned about the butterfly's powers without having them herself," Keagan finished.
"… Okay fine. How about I approach this at a different angle?" Shizuke shifted in his seat. I did my best to take a peek without completely turning my head to them. This should be good.
Keagan and Fiona crowded closer, waiting in anticipation.
"Lately, I observed that more than 50% of the akuma attacks have been happening near our school," Shizuke pulled out his phone and showed them what I'm guessing is a map full of markings of where akuma attacks have happened. "The yellow dots are where they made their presence known, likely not too far from where their transformation happened. The blue dots are where they were defeated and purified."
"And the red dots?" asked Keagan.
"Are places where the twins, especially Blair, had their photo shoots."
What a stalker! And I thought KEAGAN was the stalker of their group.
"Are you sure you don't just have a huge stalker-ish crush on Blair?" Fiona accused with her cold blue eyes staring holes into Shizuke. "It would explain all those-"
At that, Shizuke sputtered and pushed himself up from his chair by slamming his hands on the table.
"N-N-NO! THAT'S NOT WHY I HAVE THEM AND YOU KNOW THAT!" he yelled while wildly waving his hands in denial. His voice actually cracked. Noticing that every other customer at the bakery was staring at them, he gestured apologetically and sat back down. In a more hushed voice, he continued, "I just notice that more often than not, wherever they have a photo shoot someone nearby gets akumatized."
Huh. No wonder I often get to the akuma before Ladybug. I'm pretty sure the people who got akumatized over Blake and I made a significant fraction of Shizuke's observations. I now blame them for causing Shizuke's conspiracy theory.
"Not to mention that at least a quarter of the photo shoots that Blair claims to be taking didn't really happen. I've checked her schedule. Her absences doesn't line up with it. You know what does? Akuma attacks!"
Shizuke's outburst didn't get a reaction out of Fiona beyond narrowing her icy blue eyes at him and asking, "Just how do you know the twins' shooting schedules?"
I leaned a little closer, curious to know just how much of a creeper Shizuke is. Mom always said that looks could be deceiving. Who knows what an inconspicuous nerd like Shizuke could be hiding under his goody-two-shoes façade?
Shizuke crosses his arms defensively and huffed. "I'm not literally stalking them if that's what you're implying. I would never sink that low," he said, sounding indignant. He started waving his arms around as if gesturing could somehow help with explanation. "I simply follow their foster brother on Facebook. He runs a page keeping track of the twins' work for advertisement."
Fiona stared at him for a few more seconds before letting out a sigh, "You're not lying. Good."
… So he's not a total creeper. He's just a Facebook stalker. That's a relief.
"Back to the subject, notice how close most of the red dots are to the yellow dots? It's alarmingly frequent," Shizuke pushes his phone into Keagan and Fiona's faces.
His two friends took a closer look at the map.
"Shizu, assuming Blair IS Hawkmoth, not that I believe that for a second, why would she send akuma after her and her twin? She's been directly targeted twice. And just a week ago was the third time Blake was targeted," Keagan said.
"I think she's trying to get close to the heroes," Shizuke said.
"Once is a risky gambit. Twice is retarded when it didn't work the first time, and a complete waste considering she didn't even stick around for the heroes to save her that time. If you'd talk to her for ten minutes, you'd know how overprotective she is of her brother. She'd never endanger him of all people! Much less do it thrice."
Keagan, you are the best. I swear.
"Do these dots have dates and times on them?" interrupted Fiona, who was still examining the map. Keagan and Shizuke seemed to have a silent agreement to not argue about me any further.
Shizuke adjusted his glasses, ready to go back into lecture mode.
"Click on them, and you'll see the notes I added in every dot. The akuma, date, time, real identity, even the akumatized item. I listed them all based on the info I got from various news feeds, the Akuma Victims Protection Society, and the Ladyblog. I have all the yellow and blue dots connected based on their respective akuma, with the red dots depending on whether or not the twins' photo shoot is nearby when that happens. Of course, I had the lines hidden right now so the map wouldn't look too messy but click on a dot and the lines that connect them should show up."
Okay. This dude just put the CSI to shame. I am officially impressed.
"Shizu, I mean this as a compliment. You are the GOD of stalkers," Fiona declared.
Keagan is practically drooling at the treasure chest of info Shizuke is presenting him. "Shizuke Midorikawa, you are a mad genius. May I post a copy of this on my blog?"
Shizuke pulls his phone closer to him, suddenly unwilling to show his chart to his friends. "Didn't your father made it illegal to expose the akuma's civilian name in public media?"
"Yes. That's why I'm going to filter it so the civilian names don't show. I'll even edit some of the possessed items to make it even vaguer. So?" Keagan holds out his hand to Shizuke, making 'gimme that' gestures. "May I?"
As expected from the number one advocate of that law. What a daddy's boy.
"Sorry, I can't let you do that. I don't want Hawkmoth to find out that someone is recording her every move. Or that I'm investigating her secret identity," he smoothly excused. I rolled my eyes. If you still believe it's me, then you are way off your mark, Four-Eyes. "Wouldn't want anyone targeting me and my phone."
"Good point," Keagan gloomily relented. "It would've been really helpful if the heroes know about this, but your own safety is more important."
"Look who's talking. You just cried over missing the akuma earlier," Fiona fired off, starting their usual banter about Keagan's dangerous new hobby all over again.
Worry not, Monsieur Ladyblogger. Chat Noire will get her claws on that map.
0-0-0-0-0
And that is why I find myself here, winking at my stalker. I am after some really juicy information, and he's the only way to get it. It's for the greater good. Ladybug and Chat Noire will one day send him a proper 'thank you' for his efforts in stalking everyone.
A quick glance across the lane to my right, my twin brother is giving me weird looks before shrugging it off.
Behind me, I can hear Shizuke scrambling to get his composure back. As usual, once the lesson starts, he ignores me completely and it'll take until lunch break before I can start trying to befriend him again.
Okay, I'll admit, I'm having way too much fun at his reactions to my attempts at befriending him. It's so amusing how easy it is to get him flustered. Kinda reminds me of Ladybug actually. Hm… Wonder how he'll react if he finds out I'm actually Chat Noire? I bet it's gonna be hilarious!
For some reason, I can hear Plagg muttering from inside my bag about oblivious kittens.
0-0-0-0-0
BONUS SCENE: SHIZUKE'S NOTP, KAJICHAT
Shizuke
"Kaji, I am saying this as a concerned friend. You are way too obsessed with the heroes," Fuyu warned.
I nearly choked on my drink.
Kaji leaned closer to Fuyu, his eyebrows wiggling in amusement. "Jealous?"
"No," Fuyu flatly said while pushing his face away, her cheeks lightly tinged pink. "I'm just saying that your spandex fetish is getting out of hand."
This is an awkward topic I wish my friends will stop periodically picking up. Ever since the Miraculous happened, Kaji's been obsessing over the heroes… And may or may not be harbouring a celebrity crush on me- or worse, Chat Noire.
I tried to calm myself down by drinking more of my iced green tea…
"They are kinda hot."
That sentence sent me into a choking frenzy with my tea nearly going up my nose. But my breathing difficulties could wait. My mind's going on overdrive with the crisis at hand.
KAJI! PLEASE DON'T DEVELOP A CRUSH ON EITHER OF US! IT WOULDN'T END WELL!
With Ladybug, it will make our friendship awkward! As much as I care about Kaji, I can never see him that way. I just can't. He's like a brother to me! And I like to believe he sees me the same way. If he ever finds out I'm Ladybug… I shudder at the thought. I don't want to ruin our wonderful friendship over this.
With Chat Noire, it's even worse. He'll be my love rival, which would definitely put a strain on our friendship. If there's anyone in this city who could impress Chat Noire, it would be Kaji. I wouldn't stand a chance! Outside of being Ladybug, I don't have much going for me.
Kaji on the other hand is Helios' most eligible bachelor! He's effortlessly smart and handsome with charisma to match- the Ladyblog's view count can attest to that. He's the mayor's son, mind-bogglingly rich, not to mention he lives in a literal castle overlooking the city. He's like a modern day prince charming! I can see it now…
"Oh Chat Noire, you're so brave, strong, and gorgeous- Truly a diamond among women!" Kaji grabbed Chat Noire's clawed hand and bowed down to plant a kiss on it, like a prince out of a fairy tale. "Will you do me the honor of being my princess?"
Chat Noire swooned, a deep red blush coloring her tan cheeks. "Of course, Monsieur Ladyblogger! There's no one in this city I'd rather be with than you.~"
Kaji squealed in excitement when Chat Noire picked him up in a princess carry.
"Now where should we go on our first date, my prince?~"
"Anywhere you dream, my princess," Kaji wrapped his arms around Chat Noire's neck, leaning close to her until they were nose to nose. "Wherever your heart desires.~"
"Oh my prince!~" Chat Noire purred. "I'm so happy that I chose you over the unreliable pest in polka dots!"
Together, the new couple laughed as Chat Noire jumped from roof to roof towards their dream date. Their laughter echoed mockingly long after their silhouettes disappeared into the sunset.
And I watched on from behind them, forgotten and unloved, surrounded by my twenty cats who could never quite fill the void the two of them tore from my broken heart. I was not crying. That was just the cats' saliva staining my cheeks where they licked me. No, I don't need tissues Fuyu! Stop looking at me with those pitying eyes!
My daytime nightmare ended when I felt someone rubbing my back, trying to ease my coughing fit. My eyes blurry with tears from nearly choking to death, I looked up to see it was Kaji.
"Don't worry, Shizu," he comforted. "I'm not after either of them. I ship them too and I am not about to break my best bud's OTP."
Phew… Crisis averted.
I can only hope it stays that way. Kaji can have any other girl or guy he wants and I'll support him all the way, just please leave Chat Noire alone…
"What else made you suspect Blair?" asked Fuyu, thankfully changing the topic to something less stressful.
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