CHAPTER 5: SHIZUCHAT
Blair
As soon as the bell for dismissal rang, I turned over to Keagan. I wonder what he has to say about the latest akuma attack, starring moi.
"Blair, you were awesome yesterday!" he said, pulling out his phone to show the part where I threw my heels at the akuma. "Nice aim by the way."
I have to agree, I was pretty cool for a damsel in distress. I took the phone from Keagan and made it play the video from the start.
Shizuke and Fiona stopped packing their bags and leaned down to look at the video.
"Must be tough being a famous model," Fiona commented, eyes narrowing at Stud Muffin announcing his goals. "Having crazy admirers turn into supervillains on a monthly basis doesn't sound like a lot of fun."
"Nah, Blake has it worse. His fan girls are usually much faster, and come with weirder powers," I said, remembering Poppyrazzi and her photo blasts. Getting hit with brute strength is definitely easier to handle than getting trapped in a picture.
"They're still dangerous," Shizuke pointed out, intently watching the video where Stud Muffin was lifting the car he was about to throw at Ladybug. His glasses gleamed as he fixed it.
"{You scrawny fiend! You think you can just come here and sweep her off her feet?! I was here first! Be a real man and fight me!}"
Shizuke and I cringed when the car flew and hit the building instead of Ladybug. I am once again reminded of the wonders of Miraculous Ladybug.
Fiona on the other hand shot an icy glare at Keagan who just shrugged it off. After four months, their arguments about Keagan's safety have become practically telepathic and they no longer need words to know what the other is going to say. Either that or it's because they're childhood friends and know each other well enough.
And now the video's playing at the part where I threw my heels at Stud Muffin's eyes. Fiona whistled, amusement flickering in her eyes.
"Gotta give the girl some props, Shizu," she said, nudging her friend by the shoulder. "Girl's got guts."
Wow. That's the nicest thing she's ever said about me. Well, she doesn't say much about me in general, but she doesn't throw compliments at me before either.
Keagan was giving me a knowing look along with his infamous 'shipping grin'. Oh no, don't-
"You know Blair, if I didn't already ship LadyNoire, I would've shipped Ladybug with you instead," he teased.
I try not to give him the evil eye. Instead, I smiled like the professional model I am.
"Ah, but there's a risk to dating a superhero that I'm just not willing to take. I wouldn't want to be seen as the perfect hostage for the akuma to target and force Ladybug to give up his Miraculous for me."
"But you're forgetting that you're a very badass damsel and have proven that you can handle yourself," Keagan mockingly argued.
"Shh! Chat Noire showed up!" Shizuke shushed us up without tearing his eyes off the video.
"{So I heard you like redheads}," Chat Noire smirked as she made her entrance after deflecting a hit meant for Ladybug with her staff.
Shizuke was leaning on his desk to get a closer look. I can practically feel his breathing over my shoulder. His eyes were practically sparkling through his glasses, and his cheeks were lightly tinted pink as he stared at the black cat heroine.
I moved the phone in my hand to the left. His head turned to the left.
I moved the phone in my hand to the right. His head turned to the right.
I raised a brow at that.
Keagan is holding back a snicker. Fiona is shaking her head with an amused smile. I raised my brow at them, tilting my head to the nerd, hoping for an explanation.
"Shizu has a huge celebrity crush on Chat Noire," Keagan whispered.
"He thinks he's being low-key about it, but almost everybody knows by now," Fiona added.
"What if he hears?" I hissed, glancing between the three and praying Shizuke doesn't hear us.
"As long as Chat Noire is on screen, he won't be hearing anyone. He only gives that kind of attention to teachers when they're discussing lessons. There is no way we can distract him until the video ends," Keagan explained.
"{ARGH! STUPID! CARING! SAFETY OBSESSED! BUG!}"
I heard my heroic alterego yell loudly from the phone and looked back at the video. Both of the heroes have left the scene and the ex-villain was hidden behind the squad of parameds. The video finishes off with Keagan's ending remarks.
The Keagan sitting next to me had a very smug grin plastered on his face.
"So Shizu, did you enjoy the little LadyNoire at the end?" he said while casually taking back his phone from my hands.
Shizuke nearly jumped out of his chair and quickly turned his head towards Keagan so fast, I'm surprised he didn't break his neck. The flustered nerd shakily adjusted his glasses, realizing he had been in a trance. "W-what?"
Keagan's smug grin evolved into his standard 'shipping grin'.
Blair. Stay calm. Don't slap Keagan.
"A lot of viewers at the Ladyblog were squealing about how Chat Noire sounded like she was a little jealous when Ladybug left her to look for a certain teen model."
Curse you Monsieur Ladyblogger!
Strangely enough, Shizuke looks even more flustered. Not a single hint of jealousy. In fact, he looks pretty happy for a guy whose best friend is openly shipping his crush with another dude. Is the bro code truly dead?
"Really?" Shizuke actually looked hopeful when he asked this.
"Some commenters love to point out how she sounds like a tsundere," Keagan started before going off on his shipping theories.
My phone buzzed in my bag. Ignoring Keagan's shipping talk, I read the message…
It's from Keagan.
How he manages to discreetly text on his smartphone while fanboying with Shizuke right in front of me, I will never know.
Yes, he still has a huge crush on Chat Noire.
Yes, he also ships LadyNoire and is the shadow lord captain of the ship.
Don't ask me why or how. He won't tell me. He'll just deny it.
I think it's because he thinks he doesn't have a chance so he ships Chat Noire with who he thinks is best for her, which is Ladybug.
Oh. If that's the case, then what if a certain cat pays him a visit? Maybe he'll be more willing to give away a copy of his chart if it was his crush asking for it.
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Shizuke
I was just about to get ready for bed after moving around the yellow tulips I'm helping my grandmother grow on my balcony when an unexpected visitor arrived. Tikki had just enough time to warn me and fly out of sight before Chat Noire dropped in.
"Good evening citizen! Just your friendly neighbourhood kitty dropping by for a visit!" my partner greeted, balanced on my balcony railing. She grinned smugly as she eyed me from head to toe. "Nice PJ's. The bunnies are cute."
I chose the wrong day to wear my light blue pyjamas with the pink rabbits. I suppose it's still better than being caught in the black ones with the neon green paw prints. Chat Noire doesn't need any more teasing material.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" I yelped.
Chat Noire doesn't even look fazed by my outburst. She cutely tilted her head to the side and asked, "Why? Aren't you happy to see me?"
There is no way that I'm not blushing at this point. I slapped myself in the face just to make sure I'm not dreaming.
Ouch. That hurt. Chat Noire's still on my balcony. I'm not dreaming this. This is actually happening!
"It's not that I'm not happy to see you, it's just that this is the first time I have a superhero dropping by on my balcony- not that I'm opposed to it- I've always dreamed of meeting you like-"
Whoa! Too much information! Stop rambling!
"- I mean, yes I'm happy to see you!" I squeaked. Then I realized what I said and nearly fainted from mortification.
Why is this so hard? I don't have this problem when I'm 'Ladybug'! I should get a conversation going, move on from my slip up. But what to talk about? Think think think…
"Oh wait, I haven't introduced myself! Ahahaha… where are my manners?! My name's Shizuke Midorikawa! Age 15, born on May 4th! Blood Type O! And I uh…" I realized I just spazzed and told her my entire profile like a crazy person.
Chat Noire is laughing at me. It's a cute laugh…
Where is an akuma when you need one?! Please! Somebody throw a car at me!
"Are you gonna let me in?" Chat Noire asked with an amused grin.
I numbly opened the door and let her in first. The only saving grace is the fact that I always keep my room clean and organized.
My bed sat at a corner of my room, not a single wrinkle on its pristine white sheets. My wooden study desk where my desktop sat was cleared of any clutter and my extra reference books are arranged in alphabetical order on the shelf above it. My closet full of freshly ironed hand-me-downs is closed and there's not a single article of clothing in sight. All my magazine clippings of Blair and that cork board and red yarn I use to piece together evidence of her moonlighting as Hawkmoth are all safely hidden under my bed. Wouldn't want her getting the wrong idea like Fuyu did. I can only wish she doesn't notice my Ladybug and Chat Noire poster taped securely above my bed.
My grandmother has already gone to bed after a long day of tending her flower shop below our apartment, so as long as we stay quiet enough, she wouldn't even know Chat Noire was here.
"Your room must get plenty of sunshine in the morning, huh?" she commented, looking around my mint green room. Her smug grin widened when she saw the poster.
A girl is in my room.
Chat Noire is in my room.
The love of my life is in my room!
"Well, my room is on the same side of the building as my grandmother's flower shop downstairs and the flowers could use all the sunshine they can ge-" I stopped mid ramble when my brain finally caught up to what should be the biggest point of concern in the room. "Wait, why are you here again?"
Oh thank goodness my mind hasn't completely turned to mush. Of course she has a reason for being here. This can't be a casual fan visit. I've been her partner for a little more than four months. I should know that Chat Noire doesn't do anything this risky without a reason. She may be vain and cocky, but she's also efficient and deliberate with her actions. This girl will get the job done no matter what.
… I've… learned that the hard way.
"Ooh, clever boy," she snickered as she sauntered over my desktop, and twirled a black flashdrive around her claw. "I heard you've got a record of all of the akuma attacks."
"How did you-"
"Not important," the smirk on her face hasn't left, but the tone of her voice sounded all business. "Do you mind giving me a copy? I'll autograph your pencil case if you want.~"
Of all the people in this city, Chat Noire is the one I should share this info with...
"Yes, I do mind."
Chat Noire flailed indignantly at my flat rejection. I'll admit, it's kinda cute to watch her composure crumble.
"Why?!"
Because I can't give you a reason to keep visiting me! I know your line of thinking. First, you'll ask me for a copy of my chart. After a few more akuma show up, you'll ask for an updated copy. Then you'll ask me to add more details or if I've noticed any new patterns recently. 'Shizuke Midorikawa' will become your go-to guy for information. The cycle will just go on and on and on until either Hawkmoth is defeated or Hawkmoth gets wise and notices how often a certain black cat visits a certain apartme-"
I froze mid-rant, suddenly realizing that at some point, my INTERNAL monologue became my EXTERNAL dialogue.
"Ooh, that's a great idea! You know, I was just gonna ask for a copy thinking I could figure something out of it, but you're onto something there… How about you become our informant? If you're worried about the danger, I'll be extra careful to protect you. I'm sure Ladybug would be thrilled to meet you!"
… Did I just give her that idea?! I face-palmed at my own stupidity… And stopped myself from face-palming again because it hurts to do so with my glasses on. This whole thing is stupid!
Chat Noire randomly visits me in the middle of the night to ask me for a copy of my akuma chart. Then she tries to recruit ME to be her and LADYBUG's info broker. And now she's talking about how well Ladybug and I would get along! What is even happening here?!
This complication could've been avoided if she knew who I am! But of course, she isn't ready for a reveal and as her loyal partner I intend to follow through with her decision to the bitter end!
"Hey now, what's with that face?"
I peeked between my fingers and saw that she's moved from my desktop two meters away to just a few centimeters right in front of me. Why Chat Noire?! Why must you lack the concept of personal space?!
"What face?" I grimaced behind my hand, which I haven't moved to cover my surely red cheeks.
Chat Noire pouted and pointed to my face, the very tip of her claw nearly touching my nose.
"That face. Shouldn't you be more excited?" she tilted her head in curiosity.
I removed my hand from my face and fixed my glasses to properly face her.
"No I'm not. This will just get me on Hawkmoth's hit list, I just know it!"
Her smirk wavered. Chat Noire is starting to get frustrated with my stubbornness. Her feral green eyes are practically glowing like fire.
"But this is your chance to help! Don't you wanna be a hero?"
Chat Noire, you have no idea how much that question haunts me since day one. And every time I ask myself that, I can only come up with one answer:
"… I just want my family and friends to stay safe."
Her cat ears drooped down and the fire in her eyes dimmed to something gentler. Was that pity? Or maybe it was sympathy?
"Oh. If you're that worried about getting targeted for this, I can promise you that Ladybug and I can keep them safe."
We've seen what Hawkmoth can do. She won't hesitate to hurt children to get our Miraculous. I don't know what I'd do if she targets my family and friends. I'm sure I can count on Chat Noire but I can't just keep depending on her. What if she's not strong enough for the both of us? I don't know if I'm strong enough to...
"Even with Ladybug's help, I doubt you can protect us all," I still remember the first akuma… Kaji's screams… the fear in Fuyu's eyes… I clench my fists to stop myself from shaking at the memory. I promised myself to never let that happen again. "Besides, this chart probably doesn't have anything that you don't already know."
I would've told Chat Noire about the chart myself, as Ladybug of course, if I actually did found something useful! But until I have irrefutable evidence that Blair is Hawkmoth, I wouldn't want to point Chat Noire her way. Chat Noire can be scary brutal when she thinks it's necessary for the greater good.
While I'm mostly sure that Blair is Hawkmoth, there's still a small chance that she isn't. Tikki never fails to remind me of that. Kaji didn't believe me at all when I told him. I wouldn't want to lead Chat Noire the wrong way.
"But…" she tried to argue, but I refuse to hear the rest of it.
"I hope you understand. This isn't a risk I'm willing to take. I wouldn't want Hawkmoth to see me as the perfect hostage."
The words felt somewhat familiar, but I'm not quite sure where I heard it before. Chat Noire's face hardens. Then suddenly softens into a mischievous grin.
Oh no.
"You'll be doing Helios a favour by helping the heroes out with this info," she pleaded. With kitten eyes. She tilts her head, raises her paws in a begging position, and pouts. "Can you pleeeeease give it to me?" she drawled.
She's so adorable!
WHY?! WHY ME?!
There's only one thing I can do…
"GRANDMA!" I screamed as I ran out the door and towards my grandmother's room, just across from mine.
I did not look back, not even when Chat Noire made shrieking noises that sounded exactly like an actual startled cat's, nor when I heard the sounds of books falling pots breaking on my creaky wooden floor. I hastily knocked on the door to my grandmother's bedroom, not daring to look back in case Chat Noire's retreat was just a ruse.
Soon enough, my grandmother opened the door and I was fortunate enough to have Ladybug's enhanced reflexes to dodge her cane. Wow, grandmother swings that cane well for an old lady with a limp leg.
"AKUMA?!" she looked as pale as a ghost while sweating puddles through her black pinstriped yukata. Her bony hands were shakily gripping her wooden cane in a defensive position, and her blue-ish white hair was in disarray.
Yikes, I must've scared her.
"Uuh, no. I just had a nightmare, ahaha…"
Grandmother immediately shifted from looking ready to whack someone with her cane to her normal look of stern righteous fury.
"That's it?"
I stiffly nodded. "… Can I sleep in your room tonight?"
Grandmother levelled me with a look that says 'I don't believe you'.
"We'll have a talk about this tomorrow. GOOD NIGHT."
Too tired to properly discipline me for rudely awakening her, she settled on slamming the door on my face.
"She's gone now," Tikki said, flying out of her hiding place from somewhere in my room. "I can no longer sense her."
"Hmm… I think I'll just sleep in the couch tonight."
I'm sure I'll get a stern lecture tomorrow morning, but it's worth it. I'd rather face my angry grandmother than a cutely begging Chat Noire.
"For what it's worth, I think you did a good job today."
Yeah, I did a splendid job today.
I stopped Chat Noire from recruiting 'Shizuke Midorikawa'.
I didn't break down when I was practically telling her what I'm afraid of.
I didn't let her know I'm 'Ladybug'.
"Thanks Tikki," I whispered as I settled on the couch and waited for sleep to settle in.
"Miraculous! Simply the best! Up to the test when things go wrong!~"
I heard my phone ring from my room, singing the alarm I've set specifically for the Ladyblog. I can already guess what it's about. I better mentally prepare for tomorrow.
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Blair
"I almost had him!" I screamed into my pillow. I kicked around my purple comforter to let out more of my pent up frustration.
Plagg, being the bottomless well of support that he is, took out a round of camembert to munch on. The nasty smell did nothing to improve my mood.
"Mad that your seduction skills didn't work?" he said in between chewing, perched on top of my mini fridge I bought for the sole purpose of stashing his disgusting magic fuel that I refuse to acknowledge as cheese.
I looked over my shoulder and leered at the flying black cat as drops of camembert flew out of his mouth and onto my gray woollen carpet.
"Pulling an adorable 'Puss-in-Boots-stare' hardly counts as 'seduction'."
On a normal day, Shizuke is amusing. But today, he was difficult. No, more than that, he was aggravating.
Two weeks of trying to befriend him as 'Blair' did nothing to ease his humorously mistaken suspicions and let me borrow his phone so I can send myself a copy that chart. The 'exchanging numbers' excuse is moot since Shizuke-The-Amazing-Crazy-Prepared-Class-Prez has exchanged numbers with everyone in class the day he got elected. I'm not even gonna try to tell him straight up that I'm not Hawkmoth because that's exactly what the real Hawkmoth would say. I can't tell him that I just wanted a copy of his top secret chart; I'll look even more suspicious if I know. Snatching his phone isn't even an option. His guard goes up whenever I get too close to him.
It felt like a battle of wills between us, and after two weeks, he's proven himself to be my most difficult opponent yet. Since when were teenaged boys immune to my charm? Most guys would be wrapped around my finger by now!
But then it turns out he's not completely immune after all. Learning about his crush on 'Chat Noire', I thought: Why not take the short cut?
This was supposed to be a cinch! Use his already existent infatuation towards 'Chat Noire' to persuade him into giving me a copy. But nope! For some reason, he refuses to cooperate. I already reassured him of his safety.
"Even with Ladybug's help, I doubt you can protect us all," he firmly said, like nothing I can say could change his mind. He may seem calm, but I can tell he's afraid by how tightly he closed his shaking fists.
I barely managed to hold my temper at that. Just the memory of it still angers me. It's like he's underestimating us. That look of fear in his face said it all. He doesn't believe Ladybug and I can protect him along with everyone else.
"The heroes will get her one day. I believe in that."
I remembered what he said the day after Ladybug and I failed to capture Hawkmoth… It felt like so long ago. He used to have so much faith in us. What happened?
"His chart doesn't even sound like it'd have anything you don't already know," said Plagg, cutting through my thoughts. Having finished his roll of camembert, he licked his paws clean of the disgusting stuff.
"But he may have noticed patterns that neither I nor Ladybug have. A fresh outsider's perspective could be useful."
Plagg floated over to my bed and stretched contentedly like a real cat on my other pillow by my side. "Why didn't you just steal it? You had the perfect chance while he was having dinner with his grandma."
I scoffed, the very idea offends me. I have no plans on following the archetype Catwoman has set for feline heroines. "It's one thing for 'Blair' to snatch a classmate's phone for a few minutes; it's another thing for 'Chat Noire' to break into a civilian's house just to steal his phone. I'd rather keep that option as a last resort."
"Just give it up. This is too much trouble for what it's worth. If you're so eager, why don't you just make your own chart?"
Now that's a first. Plagg can be sensible sometimes.
"That's a reasonable suggestion Plagg… Except, I don't even know the names of most of the victims. I hardly remember the exact times when they happened. Heck, I don't even remember the dates of the batch of akuma on the second month, because that's when akuma attacks started to feel like the norm around here-"
"Then leave it at that. It's not worth all the fuss you're making because of it."
"Plagg, Shizuke's chart may help track down Hawkmoth, or find a pattern to help us predict the next possible victim!"
Plagg rolled his eyes. "Just focus on dealing with what's in front of you. Whatever Hawkmoth throws at you now will always be more important than what she might throw at you next week."
I stared at the god of destruction with amazement at his rare 'words of wisdom'. It's easy to forget that Plagg has been alive for thousands of years. I should've expected him to know the right things to say to cut through my logic after dealing with tons of charges in his immortal life. I slump my head down my pillow to smother an unwelcomed laugh at being caught off guard.
"I hate it when you say something smart and I can't come up with a witty comeback."
I don't need to look to know Plagg heard me anyway and was grinning like the cat that got the cream. Or, more appropriately in his case, the kwami that got the camembert. Eww.
"I've dealt with ambitious villain types like her before. She'll make another grand appearance sooner or later. So just relax and focus on keeping up my camembert supply until then."
And then he ruins it, like the smug little twerp he is.
"Of course. We're gonna need all the energy we can get for the epic final battle," I played along. He has a point though, I'll give him that.
"Exactly."
There was a moment of peaceful silence. Such a rare thing ever since Plagg came along.
Plagg suddenly grins. I should've known it was too good to last.
"You know, that Shizuke kid just used your own words against you in the most roundabout way possible."
"What do you…"
And then it clicked.
"Ah, but there's a risk to dating a superhero that I'm just not willing to take. I wouldn't want to be seen as the perfect hostage for the akuma to target and force Ladybug to give up his Miraculous for me."
"I hope you understand. This isn't a risk I'm willing to take. I wouldn't want Hawkmoth to see me as the perfect hostage."
… Oh, right. No wonder that sounded familiar.
"You can basically sum up all his arguments against being your informant with what you just told Keagan about 'LadyBlair'," Plagg snickered.
"Thank you for pointing that out, Plagg," I darkly muttered as I slumped into my bed.
I heard my phone ring by my side. I checked what it was about. I groaned into my pillow at the latest post on the Ladyblog:
Chat Noire Patrolling Alone: Ladybug Not Spotted!
It's official. The universe hates me.
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